💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › b-2.jok captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:07:00.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
From military@cbnews.ATT.COM Mon Jul 31 12:54:16 1989 From: military@cbnews.ATT.COM (William B. Thacker) Subject: B-2 or not B-2 From: att!mhuxd!wolit (Jan Wolitzky) B-2, or not B-2: That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous expense, Or to take arms against a sea of deficits, And by opposing end them. To cut; to spend; No more; and by a cut to say we end the heartache and a thousand cost overruns That B-2 is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To cut; to spend; To spend? Perchance stretch-out! Ay, there's the rub; For in those stretch-outs what new overruns may come, When we have shuffled off deciding, Must give us pause. There's the respect That makes calamity of delay. For would stealth bear the whips and scorns of time, The lack of mission, the untried technology, The great expense, the inevitable delays, The excessive secrecy, and the cuts That must be made for Gramm-Rudman target's sake. When we ourselves might today stealth's termination make With a bare majority. Who would new tax burdens bear, To pay its $70 billion price tag, When the dread of a turkey worse than B-1, A flying bat-winged bomber whose cost per pound, Is that of gold, puzzles the mind And makes us rather keep those bombers that we now have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience should make cautious legislators of us all; And thus the hue of B-2 boosterism Must be replaced with the sober cast of thought, And this enterprise of great pith and moment, Be halted now before it further proceeds, A handsome bomber yes, but better Not to be. Statement by Rep. Edward J. Markey, D-MA, to the House of Representatives, against the B-2 stealth bomber, July 26. ----- Jan Wolitzky, AT&T Bell Labs, Murray Hill, NJ; 201 582-2998; mhuxd!wolit (Affiliation given for identification purposes only)