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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??06 Mar 90????????????????????_ROR_-_ALUCARD_?????????????????????????? ??
? ? A ??
? A Trip To The Land Of Else ? ???
? A Search For Surface A ??????
? Tfile ??
? Written By: Sir Death - Doctor Murdock Distribution ??
????? & Bud The Budweiser Person Centere ??
?? ? - RoR - ??
? A ?_____________________________________________________________________??
? ?? Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
???The Pirates' Hollow - xxx/xxx/xxxx??The Electric Pub - xxx/xxx/xxxx????
?Primary Drop Sites??????Rat Head - xxx/xxx/xxxx?????Primary Drop Sites???
SHROOM4.DOC
A Trip To The Land Of Else - The Search For Surface
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+++--- INTRODUCTION ---+++
Introductions were lost due to political bullshit so this space is
intentionally left blank.
<blank>
+++--- CREDITS ---+++
Carbon Based Unit #1: Sir Death
Carbon Based Unit #2: Doctor Murdock
Carbon based Unit #3: Bud The Budweiser Person
Carbon based Unit #4: That One
Carbon based Unit #5: That One's Carbon Based Wife
The Pit Bull Unit: Cremator
Music by : Pink Floyd \ The Dark Side of the Moon
Drug and Sanity Collector: An ounce of Psilocybin Mushrooms.
SCENE - 1
[ A dark Friday night, clouds covering the moon. Temperature around
Warm....]
Outside of Carbon Based Unit #1's house a white Mustang with blue
strips pulls up to the curb and parks. The engine goes off and then the
sounds of AC/DC come to a hault. The car door shuts and Carbon based
Unit #2 walks up to the house. Into the door and up to CBU#1's room.
CBU#1: "Arooobaaahhh!"
CBU#2: "Whats up dude! Ready to jam? {drink beer}
(note: the { } sign indicate subliminal messages from the current
carbon based unit. Also, they have been called Fnords...]
CBU#1: "Shoobetcha...let me get my jacket and we're off! Boy...I sure
could go for a beer...."
CBU2: "Okeedokey, fine..."
CBU 1 & 2 exit the house and walk over to the piss yellow Omni, CBU1
mumbles something about 400 pounds of shit in the back of his car to CBU2 and
they start walking to the Mustang, get in and proceed onward with their
journey of unknown destination.
After a quick stop at the liquor store they arrive at Carbon Based Unit #4's
house.
<knock knock> <creeeeeaaaaaaakk>
CBU1: "It's Death at your door, you knob!"
CBU2: "Geez, eh....I sure could go for a beer, let us in, you knob!"
CBU4: "Aaaaaahhhh, there's too inlarged hosers at the door! Hey,
dudes...come on in!"
The beers are cracked open and the Units have a seat. CBU#1 & CBU#2
leech some of CBU#4's wisdom and all around awesome knowledge as they
continue to drink. CBU#4 passes around a joint to other CBU's and they
all attempt to get stoned. (But other things happen....) They watch a
MOST twisted tale of the Twilight Zone and ponder this extremely Deep
Question with laughs...
"If you were in an Airlock and about to be jettisoned ....would you
hold your breath?"
None of them has a direct answer to this....but feel enlightened after
thinking about it.
CBU#4: "Hahahahahahaha..."
CBU#2: "HahahaHAhaHA.."
CBU#5: "HahaHHAHAhahah..."
CBU#1: "Hohohohohoh..."
After an hour or two CBU#1 & 2 get up and with farewells they leave.
They head back over to CBU#1's house, and on the way see CBU#3's car!
They slow down and wait...as it turns around a follows them back to
their destination.
CBU#3: "Where the FUCK have you guys been?! I've been looking all over
for you!!"
CBU#1: "Oh...we went over to CBU#4's for a few Beers...whatcha doing,
eh?"
CBU#2: "Wanna do some Mushrooms??"
CBU#3: "I sat out in front of your house for 2 hours. Hahaha. Shit.
So...did you talk to Paul about the pool table? "
CBU#1: "Yep...all I have to do is go GET it!"
CBU#2: "Wanna do some Mushrooms??"
CBU#3: "He better not gonna change his mind and give it to someone
else! That table is going to Doc's..and thats THAT!"
CBU#1: "Yeah, I know...it's MY table, all we havta do is pick it up!"
CBU#2: "Wanna do some Mushrooms??"
CBU#3: "Great. So...lets go to Cliff's or something, I'm not going
home after waiting all that time...."
CBU#1: "Hmmm...wanna go to Doc's and do some Mushrooms??"
CBU#3: "Hmmm, ok, sure!"
CBU#2: "Mushrooms?"
As CBU#1 & 3 proceed to take a leak on a tree in the front yard,
CBU#2 waves and takes off, followed by CBU#1 & 3 in the piss yellow
Omni.
Soon they all arive to CBU#2's home of residence. They quietly enter
the house and slip down into the basement as to not arouse any sleeping
CBU's.
SCENE - 2
[ A dark Basement. Time: 11pm. With Condeferate Flag and miscellaneous
road signs the wall. Floor cluttered with engine parts and junk.
Big stereo, miscellaneous chemicals about and the Green Glacier ominously
glowing on a shelf. A bottle of Everclear, a skull, the black fone and
some used foil cradles.... A PERFECT place to fry your brain!]
CBU#3: "So, all we have to do is move all this shit and out the
table right here!"
CBU#2 runs upstairs to grab some bread and peanut putter, some Liptons
ice-tea in the cans and a butter knife. (Big, Long, Sharp, Pointy,
KNIFE??!)
CBU#1: "Yep! Get it level, put the bar right there and we're in
business!!"
CBU#2 returns....gets the keys out of his pocket and opens the secret
drug cabinet. Pulls out a box filled with miscellaneous drug
paraphenalia and grabs a bag of shrooms from it. They all make up a quick
sandwhich.
CBU#3: "Gobble, gobble, gobble, <glurp>.."
CBU#2: "Scarf, Scarf...Scarf....<Gulp>...."
CBU#1: "Gulp, Gulp, GulP....<Swallow>........"
CBU#1 peeks out the window to the backyard and says high to
Cremator...who is steadily peering into the window awaiting the CBU's at
ANY givin moment to take him to Wildcat Canyon for a walk, even though
it is pitch black out. At the window he sits.
While CBU#1 & 3 are talking about nuclear fission, CBU#2 secretly
slinks over to a table, opens a toolbox and grabs a syringe. He
SPRINGS out at CBU#3 and chases him around the room! CBU#1 points out
that any minute CBU#3 is going to be peeking and that a syringe might
not be the best thing for him to be staring at since he has a phobia
towards them. CBU#3 agrees totally as a drop of sweat drops off his
head onto the basement floor. CBU#2 puts the syringe away and they all
sit.
CBU#3: "My fingers are starting to tingle...."
CBU#1: "I wonder what Gary is up to......Hahaha, just kidding."
CBU#2 is playing Nethack.
40 minutes later.....
CBU#3: "Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn....."
CBU#1: "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaddd Shrooooooooooooooooooooooooooom................
Gooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd Shrrrrrrrrroooooommmm...."
CBU#2: "Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhooooooaaaaa, maan. Oh...woooowww!"
The CB Units are peeking about this time. Trying to hold a meaningful
conversation to keep them from slipping into the Ozone of Farble...
CBU#1: "I have 400 pounds of useless SHIT in the back of my car...you
want to go unload it know? <grin>"
CBU#3: "Maybe I should go to the bathroom? <faaadee>"
CBU#2: "He just sits there.....he just sits at the window, and waits.
Most dogs are asleep by now...but he just waits there..."
CBU#1: "He doesn't want to go anywhere because he think that if he
leaves for a split second, that we will go to Wildcat for a
walk without him. SttttttUUUUUUUUpppid, Doggggggggg.....Haha."
CBU#3: "HahahahahahaahahahaaaahahahahaahahahahahHAHAHahAHAhAhahAha!!"
CBU#1: "phphplhphlhplhphphphlhplhphlphlhphphlhplhhplhph...."
CBU#2: <ffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy>
15 minutes pass with no sound....shapes shift and sounds float by...Pink
Floyd plays through the speakers lullying the CB Units into the neather
reaches of the Land Of Else....pulling them through time layers and
eddies of light....to the soft, smooth, Aqua coloured Land Of Else.
CBU#1 is stunned by the sharp sound of bells coming directly at him
through those big boxes.....he waves a hand in front of his face and
Shifts back into reality.
CBU#1: "Ahhh...weeding out the bad brain cells...getting rid of the
sick and old. I think I'll get up....."
<He thinks about getting up...>
CBU#3 is meanwhile playing with his fingers...he touches his two index
fingers together...
CBU#3: "What happends if you leave your fingers together like this for
too long, I wonder....."
CBU#1: "They MATE of course..."
CBU#3 & 1 look at each other and find that realization funnier than all
hell itself and commence laughing. CBU#2 is watching the pretty colours
move in his Telix dialing directory.
CBU#3: "Hahahaha....I better not do this too long or I'll have 14
fingers! HAHAHAHAHA!
CBU#1: " HAhahahaha! You'll wake up with 14 fingers and say DAMN!
don't you HATE when that happens??!? HAHAHAHAH!
CBU#3: "OH, GOD....14 fingers and <looking at his feet> 20 toes!! What
do you do with 20 toes??!!"
CBU#1: " 14 fingers and 20 toes.......and SIX HEADS!!! HAHAHAHHAHA!"
CBU#2 puts on a pair of welding goggles and is amazed at the new world
he has found....he is totally awed by this new place...these new fuzzy
shaped and dim light. He thinks he'll stay.
CBU#3: "SIX HEAD! HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA "
CBU#1: "What would I claim on my tax form?"
CBU#3 zones out...
CBU#1: "Six heads...it's literally impossible to get anything done with
6 heads. You would argue about everything! Then theres always
that ~bad~ head.....the one that always goes ~Lalalalalala~ when
all the others are trying to sleep.
Head-1, "Shut Up! You always do that!!!"
Head-4, "Lalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalaallaalalalalalala!"
Head-2, "Hit him! Hit the fucker! Shut up! I have a date
tomorrow!!"
Head-5, "Me too, Dammit!!
Head-4, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!"
Head-3, "Take this!"
<Head-3 tries to punch Head-4!! Head-4 dodges the blow from
Head-3. Head-2 swings at Head-4...misses and hits Head-5!>
Head-5, "OUCH!"
Head-4, "Hhahahahaa, you misses! Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala!>
Head-1, "Get him again! Swing at him! Shut that Son-of-a-bitch
up!!"
<Head-5 swings at Head-4, misses and knock Head-1 unconscious!
Head-4 is wide-eyed and has a serious grin on his face...
Head-2 throws a vase at Head-4, Head-4 ducks and it breaks
a mirror. Head-5 throws a fist at Head-4 but hits Head-3
instead! Head-4 bites Head-5's ear and starts pulling!>
Head-5, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Head-3, "Grab him now while he's not moving!!!!"
<Head-3 grabs Head-4 and holds him still while Head-2 gets
some duck tape. Heads-1-2-3-5 duck tape Head-4's mouth shut.
Head-4 screams and yells still but is muffled now...>
Head-5, "Geezus! It's about time! Now lets get some sleep!"
Muffled Head-4, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!"
Time passes..................s-l-o-w-l-y.................
SCENE - 3
[ Carbon Units 1, 2, & 3 are in CBU#2's basement. All in their
respective corners, zoning, spacing, shifting, and frying. The
Time: 2:30am.]
CBU#1 in his chair of solitary, CBU#3 laying on the floor watching
the wood move on the wall, and....]
CBU#2 is staring out into the backyard at through a slit in the
blinds, dawning his welding goggles. The Pit Bull Unit is still
in the same location under the window....occasionally he jumps up on the
window seal to get a closer look at CBU#2.
CBU#2: "......and the funny part is, that I am in totally control of
his life. <shift out>"
CBU#3: "I think I'll go to the bathroom. What time is it? "
CBU#3 gets up from his corner and goes to the bathroom.
CBU#1: "Oh, man...I have a date tomorrow at 8 in the morning. Oh, man.
What was I thinking?? Lets take Mushrooms at 11 at night?
SsssssttttUUUUUUUUUpppiiiiddddd, SSSSSSSTTttuUUUUUUpppiidd!!"
CBU#1 stand up and moves 5 feet NorthEast and stops.
CBU#2 turns around and lifts his goggles off.
CBU#2: "whoa.....reality....no way..........."
CBU#2 slides his goggles back onto his head and stares out through the
blind again.
CBU#1: "Colours, man..........................traces, traces. Oh,
shit....I gotta come down. I have to go to sleep! Ohhhhh,
fuck. <CBU#1 turns and looks at CBU#2> Things are Shiften,
man...things are Shiften............."
CBU#2: "#(*#@!)$*@....#@(& {body}amp;^%^%%^)!$%#{body}amp;*%.....<bink!>.............
<bbbuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....>
300 seconds later.......
CBU#3 returns from the bathroom. CBU#1 goes to the bathroom.
CBU#3: " Wow. Neat bathroom. I was stuck in there for awhile....
What time is it?"
CBU#2 moves away from the blind and removes his goggles. Takes a deep
breath and slumps over and stairs at the floor.
CBU#3 returns to his spot on the floor.
CBU#1 returns from the bathroom.
CBU#1: "Ya know, Doc...if you just take all that shit off the wall in
there and take that toilet out, that would be a really neat
place.....nice and white....and square..and small...."
The CB Units are still and quiet...the only sound is that of the crisp
sounds of an egg frying in a skillet.
CBU#2: "It looks like a normal floor...................................
..........................................................."
CBU#1: "It talks like a normal floor..............................."
SCENE - 5
[ The need for Surface arrives. The need for Reality is here. The
absence of anything Real has gone on long enough. Exhaustion set
in. The mind has over worked in these CBU's. The need for rest and
Surface has come. Time: 3:46 ]
CBU#3: "Man...you ready to go, Guy? "
CBU#1: " I dunno, man....are you? I know I can't drive, dude. "
CBU#3: "You sure? man....I jus want to go home and sleep...."
CBU#1: "Me too....oh....warm surface.....sleep...."
CBU#2: "man...what were we thinking? Ohhhhhhhhhhh......Baaaaaaaaddd
Shroooooooooooooooooommmmmm...."
CBU#1: "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddd sshhrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooommmm..."
CBU#3: "You sure you can;t drive?"
CBU#1: "Oh, man...I mean....a piss yellow Omni zipping through Richmond
with 400 pounds of shit in the back and 2 people driving on
hallucinagens. I think that would arouse suspicion.
Oooohhhhh. I'll work the steering wheel if you
work the peddles? hahaha. Ok, but your driving..."
CBU#3: "Nope. I ain't driving. Man.....i gotta change a water pump
tomorrow. Oh, FUCK!
CBU#2: "Shit....I can't wait till tomorrow. Stone cold Reality is what
I need.........."
CBU#3: "I hope when I wake up tomorrow I'm normal.....you can't drive?"
CBU#1: "Man....I'm still stuck on 6 heads...Hahahahahahaha."
A few more minutes pass......the CB Units are still stuck in Else but
realize that they aren't peeking anymore...
CBU#1: "Welp....you wanna make a break for it?"
CBU#3: "Yeah....ok...lets try..."
The CB Units quietly walk up the stairs and into the kitchen. CBU#1
grabs a cinnamon roll. The CB Units 1 & 3 leave into the realm of the
Road. CBU#2 returns to the basement and turns off all the electrical
appliances. Then goes to bed. Sleep comes around 5:30am...........
+++--- CONCLUSION ---+++
When in need a an Anchor to Reality....a Pit Bull is always there for
ya!
The Search for Surface was a long Search. But a prosperous one indeed.
All is wierd....all is unreal. These are the times that you need to
venture out into that big world (whichever it may be) and find your own
Anchor to Reality.
Stay tuned for further adventured in the Land Of Else!
Next file will be a trip to Else via the Acid Express.
Until then...........
RoR - Alucard
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shroom04b
Oh my oh my. When your standing at that toll booth at the beginning of
your journey, and the man asks you for your coin....just cock your head
and give him a smirk and say, "Hey....you think your a smart ass? Well
I got a question for ya..."
"Ohuh?"
"You think you got the guts, Boothman?"
"Ohuh?"
Widen your smirk and simply say, "What's Next To The Moon?"
And while he's pondering that question in total amazment, just slip by
the gate and put the pedal to the metal. Works every time!!
-< Big-O Jet Airliner. >-
And BY CHANCE that doesn't work, just make sure you have a walkman with
you....because in this world, every being is total amazed by the sound
of Rock 'N Roll. It's a Phenomenon that can't be explained. Go
figure.
(>
Well, I've been travelling down this road for some time...it's been a
fun road. I've never had a bad time. And Wisdom I have gained, that I
have. And my book has been filled...and oh man-o-man......it's that
time again.
-< Ten Years Gone >-
I've spent alot of time floating in that black void...it makes you
wonder what the big secret is. I mean, your like a puppet under the
Blue. And there's nothing wrong with that, now is there? Four strings
coming of your limbs and all you do is dance. Dance with the
Dancer....out into the void. Follow traces...follow the light and
blend. wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Just
blend. bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb tttttttttttttttttt qq...
Ever wonder what the answer to Life, the Universe and all the Virgins you
can lay is?
I'll tell you...
Answer: X
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Thats what it is, Jack..... the fuckin Big Variable In The Sky!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
If your reading this...then I think you should know that I am fuckin
drunk. And if you knew that, then....do you have any mushrooms?
Well, there's only one thing to do at this Point.........<gulp...>
-< Hot Summer Nights >-
(Oh yeah....and listening to the Stereo..... A massive Stereo at
that!!! Thanx to Sir Death, of course....) (Very big
speakers...very...art thou Very? )
.
(> . .
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T I I A U L M N L E S G H H H H H H H !
H S S S B I I A M S A E A A A A A A A!