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A Prosthetic Penises Production- File #2

"Group Revue"

Wrriten by: The Pusher

Introduction: In today's "New Age" (as The Gunslinger/Dane puts it) of Apple
piracy, there are currently four major groups. I'll be reviewing all of them.
Note that this won't include the bullshit groups that release 1 ware and fade
into the sunset.  All of the groups here have been around for the past 3-4
years (excluding USAlliance). By the way, look for my reviews in issue #2 of
cDc's Cross Of Iron fanzine.  And the next PP file coming soon, a fiction
sci-fi story, "Space Merc Part VI" Oh yeah, one more thing.  The order in which
the groups were reviewed was determined by how good they are.

Group Number One: First Class

Not really a group at all, considering that only one member of the group,
The Necromancer/Ralph still is in modeming. Two of the members, Dark
Prophet/Matt and The Tailsman/Rob are writing software (like Alien Mind), and
The Hitman/Greg is also working in the software business. The Necromancer, one
of the best and most active cracker today, still cracks wares under the First
Class name. There are 3 locals to him, Mindbender/Bob, The Baron/Greg, and
Hijinx/Steve, who supply him and help with the cracks, but they aren't offical
FC members. FC is generally accepted as the best group over the past few years.
The Necromancer is planning to "retire" the FC name soon, so don't expect too
much from them.

Group Number Two: Digital Gang

Digital Gang has released more wares than any other group in pirate history.
Recently, they have been somewhat inactive, and the fact that the members of
the group (The Triton/Eddie, Tom E. Hawk/Tyron, The Dragon Lord/Ron, The
Sheik/Chris, Sir Mangar/Mike, and a few others) don't call out much makes it
hard for anyone to know what the hell is going on with them. DG has a notorious
reputation for "wars" and just about every member is hated by many people. Some
of these conflicts include: A massive fight with The Bunnymen, arguing with the
California Spec pirates (not exactly a popular group of people either), and
most recently a war with The Legion which ended up with The Martyr/Mike, and
Touch Tone/Bart threatening each other with guns.

Group Number Three: Coast to Coast

Coast to Coast wavers from active to inactive every few months. The general
routine is for the group's members to drop out of piracy, and then a few months
later a whole "new" CTC emerges. They then drop out, and the whole cycle starts
again. The current members (Mr. Slick/Kent, Psycho/Dave, The Crasher/Roman,
Chief Justice, and Fast Eddie) are about the 4th generation of Coast to Coast.
And also the worst. The Crasher, Chief Justice, and Fast Eddie do nothing at
all. Psycho does the easy cracks, and Slick the hard ones.

Group Number Four: USAlliance

The youngest group, and currently, the least liked. They started out as a local
Maryland do-nothing group. After going though 20 members, they ended up with
Body Glove/Sonny, Blue Adept/Alan, Codex Warrior/Doug, Rotten Apple/Steve, and
me. We kicked The Crasher out, because he turned out to be a huge liar. (Not to
mention a putz). The the plan was to quit USAlliance, and leave it to Rotten
Apple and a few other members who didn't do much. Then we planned to start a
new group. This plan never came to be, because...get this...no one could agree
on a name for the new group. So we just kicked Rotten Apple out, and a war
started between him and us, and he threatened to "Eradicate us from the modem
world" with his "Project: Blue Boot". Soon after, I quit the group, when I
started to get tired of them and their stupid "Ego Wars". Blue Adept then
started to get heavily ragged because he claimed to be the original Blue Adept
who was in Midwest Pirates Guild. It was obivious he was lying, and it got
worse when he denied ever saying it.


Well, there you go, "The Titans of Piracy."

Now that I look at this file, I don't think very much of it, but I'm releasing
it anyway.

Call DRU, TWGSC, and TL.
Now.

"There would be no races if there were no racists."