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| Beyond Zork: The Lore and Legends of Quendor |
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| A USAlliance Release |
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| Typed By: Z-Man |
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Within these pages is recorded certain knowledge regarding the flora,
fauna, and locales of the kingdom. Although this wisdom has well stood the test
of time, I would not wish to see it lost forever in the uncertain mists of the
future. Therefore, for the enrichment of our heirs and with homage to our
ancestors, I have writ into permanence the lore and legends of Quendor.
-MNG
GRUE:
The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its
favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its
fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day; few have
survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale.
DISCIPLINE CRAB:
Discipline crabs are small moral crustaceans found in cellars, fallout shelters
and other subterranean lairs. These brooding curmudgeons are deeply offended by
the slightest intrusion; if cornered, they employ their razor-edged pincers with
righteous efficiency.
ELDRITCH VAPOR:
Eldritch vapors dwell in cemeteries, moors and other locales where fog will hide
their evershifting forms. Gleeful and mischievous, they enjoy snatching away
the posessions of those foolish enough to wander into their realm. Visitors
without possessions are themselves snatched away.
DORNBEAST:
Smart adventurers run the other way when they hear "Hurumph," the battle cry of
the deadly dornbeast. Its 69 sensitive eyes can paralyze an unwary explorer
with a single glare. Captured victims are plastered with round, sticky
secretions that never come off.
MONKEY GRINDER:
Avoid this nightmare at any cost! Spawn of a carnival necromancer, the monkey
grinder can blast minds to jelly with its powerful Sense Organ. Deceptively
eloquent in both manner and speech, these loathsome creatures actually possess
little intelligence, and suffer an illiteracy rate of 103%.
IMPLEMENTOR:
The Implementors are a race of minor deities who dwell on the Ethereal Plane of
Atrii. Their ample free time is spent on costly luncheons where gossip and
sweet nectars flow freely. Implementors do not discourage rumors that the world
was created by them as a plaything.
GIANT CORBIE:
Corbies are carrion birds with sharp eyesight and sharper beaks. Their color
vision is so well developed, they can spot a yellow grotch in a hayfield from
200 bloits away. Corbies prefer the taste of dead, rotting flesh, but have been
known to feast on live, running adventurers.
CHRISTMAS TREE MONSTER:
Vast herds of these luminous vegetables roam freely amid the glacial valleys of
the south. Residents fear the autumn migrations, in which the trees cheerfully
trample everything in their path. Christmas tree monsters are repelled by
caterpillars, but nobody can explain why.
MINX:
Irresistably cuddly, the minx shares all the most ingratiating characteristics
of kittens, koala bears and piglets. Minxes are highly prized for their ability
to find and root out chocolate truffles from the ground, and will eagerly devour
them if given the opportunity.
UNICORN:
Most unicorns have fled to the Plane of TransInfinite Splendor, where they enjoy
a carefree existence free from the cruelty of man. The unhappy few left behind
are eagerly sought by zoos and private collectors. It is good luck to kiss a
unicorn's horn; but woe to any fool who harms one.
FROON:
Legends of this magical kingdom date back before the reign of Entharion the Wise
(0-41 GUE). Said to lie somewhere beyond the clouds, Froon was the setting for
a series of beloved children's books by L. Frank Fzort, and later became a
successful movie musical starring Judy Garlic.
HUNGUS:
Part sheep, part hippopotamus, the hungus builds its nest in jungle swamps and
other hot, squishy places. Normally docile and eager to avoid conflict or
activity of any kind, the hungus is fiercely clannish, and will instantly charge
at anything that dares to threaten its kin.
SPENSEWEED:
The healing virtues of this common roadside plant are well documented. Although
it is safe to eat, spensweed is most effective when applied directly to wounds
as a salve. Avoid the cheap commercial preparations, which may contain
artificial coloring and preservatives.
CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE:
Chocolate truffles grow only between the roots of oak trees. Dark brown when
fresh, they decompose rapidly once exposed to air. Truffles were a favorite of
Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive (770-789 GUE), who ordered the excavation of
entire forests to indulge his bottomless appetite.
MOSS OF MAREILON:
First classified in 843 GUE by Thwack of Mareilon, this soft, pale fungus
thrives in underground tunnels and public toilets. When squeezed, the moss
releases an invisible cloud of spores which improves the dexterity of laboratory
rat-ants. Its effect on other species is uncertain.
COMPASS ROSE:
The stem of this rare annual always droops in the direction of the prevailing
wind. Rumors that the compass rose can actually control the wind are hotly
denied by the Guild of Meteorologists, who harvested the species to the brink of
extinction in the Rose Riots of 811 GUE.
MORGIA ROOT:
It is a rare enchanter who does not carry morgia root to gnaw on during a long
journey. The mint-flavored juice improves stamina, slakes thirst and conceals
bad breath. In domestic applications, morgia root is often baked into pies, and
makes an excellent platypus stuffing.
CRUEL PUPPET:
Few creatures are more dispised than the cruel puppet. It attacks by twisting
itself into unflattering caricatures of its opponent, accompanied by jeers, rude
noises and shocking accusations. Staunch monarchs have been reduced to tears by
these merciless shapeshifters.
DUST BUNNY:
Dust bunnies burrow in obscure corners and under furniture, and defend their
territory by multiplying. They can clog a passageway in seconds, filling the
air with dark, suffocating particles. Static electricity and lemon-scented
sprays are their only natural enemies.
PHEEBOR:
Ruins of this ancient city are still visible at the confluence of the rivers
Phee and Bor. The reason for its downfall (circa 400 BE) is unclear, but
minstrels sing of a feud between Pheebor and its sister city Borphee over the
naming of what is now called the Borphee River.
RED HERRING:
These common fish patrol the dark recesses of freshwater pools and streams. But
a handful of granola brings them racing to the surface, a fact known by every
rural schoolboy. The old adage about red herrings being "good brain food" has
no scientific basis.
LUCKSUCKER:
Lucksuckers feed on good fortune. Part physical entity, part mental phenomenon,
the sucker's appearance is based on the laws of probability, and may change
without warning. Good luck charms provide only a temporary shield against
attack. The best strategy is to run!
UR-GRUE:
Ur-grues are thought to be the shades of fallen Implementors. Skilled in black
sorcery, the ur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone of darkness which
neither lamp nor flame can penetrate. Sunlight is the only thing it fears. It
is unwise even to speak of this utterly evil entity.
THE COCONUT OF QUENDOR:
Through reluctant to dismiss the Coconut outright, most historians regard its
historical existence as dubious at best. Orkan of Thriff has suggested that if
all the "Shards of The One True Coconut" and "Vials of The Blessed Milk" were
gathered in one place, they would form a stack nine bloits highery, the ur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone of darkness w