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File by: Anon.
It occured to me the other day that there is really no good articles online which give instructions on curing one's homegrown tobacco. So, i wrote this little txt file. It's not a grower's guide or any of that, in fact: i'll start by telling a little story as to how i got my hands on uncured tobacco.
Im poor kentucky college student. So poor i cant afford a bucket to shit in. But i like smoking. Most people would go scrounge some change up for a pack of off-brand bullshit, but not me. I'm a cheap jew. One of my freind's fathers grows tobacco on his farm. What do i do? i run out and steal a bag of it. He wont miss it, im sure.
If you get green leaves, what you want to do is time them together with wire and put them in a warm dark place, suspended upside down. You'll need to make sure they keep a breeze blowing over them, so what you want to do is put a fan near them. Spray them with a mist bottle every so often for about six weeks. The leaves will turn nice and brown. Boom: you just fucking cured some tobacco.
So you wanna smoke this shit? Well, chances are that you arent used to raw tobacco, but rather stuff that has professionally treated by the great evil superpowers that be. The stuff you have will be almost unbearably harsh. The way to solve this is to dry your leaves completely, and then freeze them. this makes the nice supple leaves brittle enough to crumble up without having to fuck with the stems or get the little veins of the leaves in your tobacco pouch. Crumble up everything you have into really small crunbs. place these into a big tupperware bowl. A nice big kitchen bowl is nice too. whatever, you know, a fucking bowl. Now, mix a gallon of warm water with say: two tablespoons of molasses. Add this to the tobacco and allow to soak. Then, with your fists, pick up a ball of the tobacco sludge and squeeze the living shit out of it until it has almost no liquid left in it at all. Place this aside in a paper towl, and continue to do this with the rest of the bowl. Dont worry about loosing a little bit of the leaves down the drain, you will.
Repeat this process two or three times. two for mild smoke, three for really mild smoke.
Take the crumpled up balls of shit and then place them in a bit of paper towel, or say like, some newspaper and stomp the living fuck out of them. this helps remove any water that may be left. After that, allow your smoke to dry for two to three days on a windowsill or other warm place and boom:
really awesome free tobacco.
I hope this is of some use to somone someday.
thanks.
-j.
p.s. so i can be cool like you, here is some ascii weightlifter turdscratch.
HUAAH!!!
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