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Aquatic Antics and other fun around water.
by ruzz
for distribution to all anarcherists.
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This is the sport of Ruzsland. What better way to spend a day on the water
shooting at fish, snapping turtles and other oppertune targets.
Or running full tilt and skidding around on ice, these aren't sports they
are ways of life! Only independant, healthy and interesting minds
can partake of these treasures.
For bowfishing youll need only 1 peice of intel, shoot under the target if
its submerged. This is an art so you must learn it yourself for
your rig. Just keep trying and you'll hit a carp or gar, etc and they will
jump with joy for you! I am not completley certain if this spot
is catch and release friendly, some kinds of fish, nicknamed "rough" fish
by sport anglers are pretty hardy and you will be encouraged by
many bass anglers to take the carp, bowfin etc I think they can survive if
you dont use anything extremeley destructive for a point. If yo
can manyoofakchure {man you facture} your own arrows easily you wont need
a string tied to the arrow. Thats right kiddies time for your new
vocab word: manyoofakchure = verb, the process of making stuff, like
arrows, all by your lonesome, usually an art but on occasion a science.
Most bowanglers attach the string onto their bow with a retrieving device.
If you dont want one, carry the string and step on the end of it,
but you have to keep it neat. The rest I leave to you my friends!
In winter, its kinda hard to bowfish for 5 reasons in because of the form:
1 because of the ice
2 because of the greedy, hostile and violent ice fishermen
3 because of the cold and wetness aint good for your bow and stuff
4 because of the other fun to be had
5 because of the fact that youve probly taken all your bowfishing stuff
off and got it ready for deer season and you missed that record
book sixteen point buck and broke the bow over your knee in an amazing
cuss-fest and you need to by a new bow (is it just me or is there
alot of pressure to do good in that sport?)
so what does the self-sufficientist do in the "off" season, well it all
depends. First a work of artetry. Gather
up some buckets and pails full of water. Let them freeze. Stack them
like bricks, use a little snow or water as cement. Try putting them
on pond ice or something. Another thing to do is ta get a running start,
get full tilt and skid around on ice. Make certain its strong
enough beforehand or youll have your jets cooled! If you have a snowsuit
you can run and slid on or back or belly. If anyone gets smart
catch them, and tie them up. Next get a running start, full tilt of coarse
and use them as a sled! Be sure to dig your knees into their
back. Hours can be spent happily throwing large rocks and other heavy
thing onto the ice.
Other Aquatic Antics include throwing a glass jar into the water and
shooting it with a BB gun. When you hit it it pops and quickly sinks.
Fun indeed. Fishing of coarse. Throwing big rocks into the water. Throwing
big rocks into the water from way up high in a bridge or tree.
Throwing big rocks in the water from an airplane. Crashing the airplane
into the water. Forget the last one, that might pollute. If you have
a small stream you can dam it up. Make small islands and bridges. Make
waterfalls.
Heres a big project youll want to do someday. Construct a combustion
cannon or two, uhh maybe 5 and make them quick to load. Then get or
make a large boat. Make it able to go into shallows. Maybe a watercraft or
one of those boats they use in the south with the airplane motor
and propeller. Mount the cannons. get the ammo, potatoes, soda bottles
tennis balls with match heads etc. Now become a pirate (may want to
get a crew together) and go to lake erie or somewhere. Have fun! Get
another boat and have a battle. Make several fleets and have a war!
Employ hundreds of scientists to make your fleet technologically and
numerically superior and become an aquatic superpower! Remember its
just a game though. Just remember to have good, clean, safe fun. A step
further would be to make submarines (the boats, not the
sandwiches!) and launch rockets and torpedos!
For my passifist friends, run at full tilt, similar to doing it if you
were doing it on ice, and dive onto the water at as acute an angle as
possible. Try to hyroplane, gliding over the water at highspeeds. Like the
people towed by boats or cars goin too fast over wet roads.
Perhaps you should put vegetable or fish oil on your person, for extra
lubrication. If that doesnt work construct a slide and put the oil
on it. It will have to be very long because again it will have to hit the
water at an acute angle. If that doesnt work make a pneumatic
catapult. If that doesnt work, lose some wieght you big fat slob, I mean
no wonder they didnt work, whats up with you fatso trying to make
me look like an idiot? If your not "girthly gifted" and they didnt work
take up waterskiing and just fall off or let go once in a while.
Practice holding your breath in excess of 1 minute. Youll be healthier and
stronger plus have more stamina than the average person. Now go
out somewhere deep in a boat with a heavy rock. Maybe have a string
attached to it. Go to the bottom. Remember to give yourself about 2-5
seconds for every 10 feet to get back up, depending on how hard and fast
you push off from the bottom. While down there (have goggles on)
look up at the top. Notice its like a mirror in a circle of the
surrounding lands (if close enough) as you go higher the cirle closses in.
Thats how fish see you in a bass boat. Also while downthere grab a couple
rocks or something. If you need or want to spend extended time
down there (found Bubba's bass boat and need that lure?)and dont want to
go thru all the crap of SCUBA class (I would when I get the cash
but until then...) and your already holding your breath for 5 minutes (I
salute you!). I have a nice little trick up my sleeve. Alright it
doesnt all fit but you get the idea. Attach the end of a garden hose (make
sure there is no lead in it) onto your boat and use the other end
for a mouthpeice. ***!!!iii*** NOTE! This does not provide you with fresh
air! You are simply telling your lungs that you are breathing.
Dont do this for more than 10 minutes at a time 20 tops. If you start
getting dissy get up NOW. Your brain is out of oxygen and may pass
out. Give it about 5 at least, probly 10 minutes to "recharge" Have
fun!***iii!!!***
SNAPPING TURTLE FRIEND OR FOE? From what I have seen and heard, they only
attack ya on land. In water they should just swim away. But I
like to carry a bowie knife with me...just in case. Other freshwater water
inhabitants to watch out for are leeches ( a match will take care
of them) and bullhead and other catfishes. This family has the strongest
jaws of freshwater. Some can get up to and in excess of 7 feet long
and think nothing of eating 7 pound carp. (wich are bigger than your
foot). You only have to worry about them in the south and in the
Mississippi. The part that I worry about is the poisonas spines. These on
many species are jagged and extremely painful. Finaly, I am about
to tell you about the 1 thing I fear most. Kids, skip this part. These
things make JAWS look like a comedy. These things are so disgusting,
so evil, so sneaky......Ok almost lost myself there. Smallmouth bass and
bullhead are my heos because they prey so heavily on these scourge
of the deep. Crayfish, crawdads, mudskippers etc.I cant stand these
things. In an effort to overcome my fear of these I tried to keep some
as pets, only to have the most ungodly, horrific, fear inspiring nightmare
I have EVER had. Goodness thats enough of this.
Innertubing down rivers is fun. Not much else you can do with them though.
As is wading. Just take your socks off and put your shoes back
on and waltz right in. Throw rocks in.
Often rivers and ponds and impoundments have islands in them. They can be
quit accomidating at times, save perhaps during the flood stage.
Few people ever go near them or give them a second thought. It would be
very feasable to set up a lair on one. With the supplies at hand or
imported with your cayak or canoe. Islands also give you a nice quiet
place to set back and watch the world flow by.
Try "noodling" for fish. Thats catching them with bare hands. You have to
corner them and grasp their underbelly and flop em up on the bank.
If your big and tough and a little crazy you can make boxes for 30 pound
plus catfish. Just grab em on the mouth.
With all this traffic up and down streams and ponds and whatnots your
likely to start making trails. Try not to walk right on the bank as
this will get soggy and muddy. Then youll get erosion and junk all over in
the water wich isnt good. Try and stay about 3-5 feet away, youll
not spook as many fish and be safer from falling in. That might not be
very threatening at the moment but humans are creatures of habit and
will usually follow a cow path, even if there is a much quicker way. Also
consider making an upgraded path (if and only if you own the land
or legally can without getting into trouble!) by laying rocks and gravel
and sticks down. Make bridges, or better yet go around and cross on
a riffle. They are usually shallow and made of gravel. They do move, just
like river banks, so keep an eye out for new, or better, ones.
Another cool thing to do is to climb one of those huge trees that always
seem to grow near water. This will give you a birds eye view of the
lands and waters. Become as the racoon, master of trees, land and water.
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