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IRC Weekly - "anyways back at the farm" - IRC Weekly
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Edition #2
Illustrative book about birds subzero
Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack horten
Quotes and Quotes and more Quotes subzero
The AOL Invasion Chemical Residue
Once Upon a time in WarezLand Ephemeral Datagram
Stumbles elite Cross-werd stumble
Vlad Fewl LySeR
A Delay in Time subzero
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Illustrative book about birds
---- - - -- -- -
Its BIRD... Its a plane... NO Its ummmmmm... anyways birds fly...
they have wings...
Ok here it is edition #2 released by popular demand by those of
a higher level of intelligence(and stuph).
As you take a deep breath you realize you are STILL on your computer
with the hours dwindling away.. life passing you by.. you begin to
wonder... then the journey begins into the depths of IRC Weekly...
------- - --- - - - -
Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack
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Top 10 most stupid things said on #hack
This week anyways...
1. <TheMaster> this could be a *Really* Stupid question, but im trying to
get password file here at the U of A, and ive tryed in all
the places where text files say to look, and so far all
ive been able to find is /etc/passwd. that may look to be
the corredt thing..
2. <Armitage> hello?
<Armitage> r we moderated?
3. <coup> how do you flood??
4. <LarkB> I am a Lamer, but i have to get a split to get someone killed.
Can any hacker help me?
5. <DK> ansi art is leet:)
6. <jmecca> does ne1 got a netcom shell accnt to trade
7. <Blake> does anyone know where to get AOHELL??????? (not a joke)
8. <Lickher> Where can you get Windows 95???
9. <TaP> anyone know where I can get full free shell service???
10. <Tadpole> hello all you hacker out there
- horten
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Quotes and Quotes and more Quotes
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Ever wondered what a senior frog thought about IRC Weekly?
<SrFrog> zircon: this is kewl
You know you have no life when...
<tempest> I donut have to worry about bad breath cause I kiss girls
on IRC!
IRC addict?!?
<Stumble> yew know its bad when yew type 6667 as the time on yur microwave
tew heat pizzah pockets
When an IRCOP has other things on his mind...
<FlashMan> BEAUTY BEAT HER MEAT
<FlashMan> i mean
<FlashMan> BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
Time to get away from that monitor...
<Pip> PIKABOOO I WANT TO SEE YOU
------- - --- - - - -
The AOL Invasion
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The AOL Invasion
by Chemical Residue
Do you remember the first time AOL made you sick? Was it that cheezy
commercial with those two faggots who talk about movie tickets and
dinosaurs, or was it getting harassed by all of that junk mail that they
send you every other week? (Of course, some of you probably have a
collection of these disks sitting around by now. :)) Maybe it was
having your favorite newsgroups flooded by AOLamers asking for "kewl
K-RaD WaReZ or kiddie porn." (Isn't Michael Jackson on AOL?)
Well, get ready to get sick again because America Online, probably
the most hated online service to date, has found yet another way to
harass the Internet community. Beginning in September 1995, the AOL
IRC Servers will be made available for the first time ever to AOL users
everywhere.
What does this mean? Well, all of those AOL users who have been
chatting in the AOL chat rooms, will now be unleashed to wreak havok
on the Internet. Now you get to hear all of the bullshit you normally
would hear in the AOL chat rooms, including 14 year olds looking for
netsex, 40+ yr-old's pretending to be 14 year olds looking for netsex,
and the trading of pr0n and warez.
How else will this affect you? Well, there are already about
12,000-14,000 users on IRC at any given time. The new AOL users will
mean increased server load for all servers, which will mean more
netsplits, more hacked ops, and an overall decrease in performance.
Remember, when IRC was created back in the 80's, it was not meant to
support the numbers that we have today. However, I am now predicting
that once America Online gives its users IRC access, other online
services like Compuserve and MSN will follow, and the number of users
on IRC will be at least 20,000-30,000.
Today is September 1, 1995, and expecting the new AOL server to come
online soon, I decided to see if any AOL users are on IRC at the time.
What happened? I got screenfuls of names! That's a lot of lamers! At a
time when the new IRC service hasn't really been announced yet, there are
MANY people already using it. Can you imagine when it becomes announced,
if only 1% of AOL's 3 million users get on IRC, that will mean 30,000 more
users on IRC, compared to the 12,000-14,000 that are currently on!
The name of the server that AOL is currently using is irc02.irc.aol.com.
So I tried to connect to this new server, but was unsuccessful. I then
decided to see what servers are actually ALLOWED to connect to it,
and see that there are only a handful of servers. That's very nice of AOL,
increase the number of IRC users by two or three times, and only allow a
handful of outside machines to connect to its own server.
In conclusion, I think that something must be done about America
Online. If its new IRC servers go online, IRC will be flooded like never
before. We must do something about this. If you are an IRC Server
Admin, I suggest that you k-line *aol.com. As for everyone else, maybe
writing (flooding?) AOL's President telling him that his crap is not
wanted here. Laters.
Chemical Residue
------- - --- - - - -
Once upon a time in WarezLand
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You may have read this before but thats life...
Once upon a time there was this guy named John. John was not
what you would call a smooth customer. In fact, he lacked even a basic
sense of personal hygiene. He was a lot like our previous pal
Jim. However, he had one fundamental difference...he was evil. Not
evil in the sense of just having nasty ideas...this guy was actually
the son of Satan. Now _that's_ evil.
John didn't know he was the son of Satan...he thought everyone
got urges to be evil, and he was just less able to control
himself. For example, he couldn't imagine his landlord actually giving
in to the universal urge to slash the brake lines on school buses, but
that didn't mean he wasn't THINKING about it. John thought about it
all the time. In fact, he actually did it once, but he was such a
chickenshit that he only did it to a bus in the junkyard and not a
genuine bus. What a wimp.
As you might imagine, John was pretty much socially
impaired. Being the son of Satan will do that to a guy. When he went
to parties, people would get the hell outta there. Well, all the
people who weren't drunk off their asses. These people were in for a
fun time, because John liked to tie up drunk people with dental
floss. Why dental floss, you may ask? Shit, don't ask me. I don't
understand the motivations driving a spawn of Satan. But anyway, he'd
tie these drunk passed out losers up with dental floss, and start
kicking them and shit, until they woke up. And since he was such a
chickenshit, he'd run away screaming. This was on his good days.
A kind soul had him committed to a therapeutic ward at the
local hospital. This brings me to another story; the story of Frank
the doctor, but don't worry, it's short. Frank was an idealist. He
believed very passionately in the healing process as a beautiful
thing, and he became a doctor to help and to heal. When he got the
opportunity to work with troubled souls, he leaped at the
chance. Troubled bodies were almost easy to help; troubled souls, now
_that_ would be his calling. He was a therapist, and a very good
one. But when he saw John and listened to him talk for about five
minutes, he started laughing his ass off, because John was such a
MAJOR loser. He was simply the biggest dumbass, dork, chickenshit
weenie that had ever existed. In fact, Frank was even tempted to tie
John up with dental floss and kick the hell out of him. But he thought
it might cast doubts about his ability to help other troubled
souls. So he just got some big security guards to beat him up and
throw him into a dumpster behind the hospital.
That's where John learned about IRC. Apparently, one of
Tantalos' young male love slaves had checked into the pediatric ward
for extreme anal trauma. All he could say was ``EYE ARE SEE EYE ARE
SEE EYE ARE SEE'' over and over again. Sure enough, when John typed
irc at his Unix (Ultrix, no less!) prompt, he got connected to the
Internet Relay Chat network. Here's a bit of a log:
<DERR> hey john
> i wanna tie you up with dental floss and beat the shit out of you
<DERR> hell, sounds good to me!