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          THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO AD&D UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

                              CREATED FOR

                      ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

                                   BY

                           THE GUIDE CREATOR          

      
               The ruling passion, be it what it will,
               the ruling passion conquers reason still.
                                        ---  Alexander Pope

               Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
               Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
                                        --- Shakespeare

               Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest 
               man, and renders the greatest fools clever.
                                        --- La Rouchefoucauld

               She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays 
               them in the urn of everlasting death.
                                        --- Pollok










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               @ COPYRIGHT 1992-1993 by The Guide Creator
  The following game is the property of its author, who hereby states 
 that he retains the copyright.  You may distribute it at will, 
provided 
   that nothing in the guide, this notice, or any of the credits are 
     altered in any way; and that you do not make a profit from it.
        
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                           Table of Contents


Initial Reactions to this Guide
Preface
The Wild-Thing Rules
Conception: What are the odds?
Pregnancy In AD&D?
When Does the Stork Come?
Spells for the Mother
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Sexual Tendency
The Bitch Rule
The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only
Seduction: More Than Reaction Rolls
Non-Weapon Proficiencies
Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases)
Sexual Insanity?
Sex and Sexuality in the Realms
Spells with Zip
Clerics Would Use These Spells?
A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs
Sexual Psionic Powers
Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve of
Cupid's Chaotic Arrows
Houri: Wizard Kit
Seducer: Wizard Kit
"I'm Just A Gigolo..." Gigolo: Bard Kit
Getting to Know a Prostitute (Random Generator)
Filling the House of Ill Repute
Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)
A New Look at Old Monsters
Porno Periodicals of Humanoids
An Abyss Level
Adventuring Ideas
Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?
Plots for Homosexual Characters
Other Related Reading Materials
A Few Good Stories
Special Thanks
The Internatinal Bitnet Address Book
The Bitnet Controversy of the Guide
Bitnet Address of Guide Contributers








                                                  Last Update: 12/01/93
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                   Initial Reactions to this Guide


"The AD&D sex guide is interesting to say the least."

"...it's a pretty handy guide to have really."

                                                  --- Matt Sullivan

"The people in my group love the guide!!!"

"Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a 
wight lich!!!"

                                                  --- Larry Barthel

"...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like 
what you have come up with."

"We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters."

                                                  --- Morgan Blackheart

"It certainly has some interesting ideas in there."

"My friend, who is DM'ing this rather, umm, slutty city, has made good 
usage from it..."

                                                  --- Steve Langton

"There where nice ideas."               "Great Idea & Fun!"

"...it looks GREAT !!!"                 "It looks good & Fun."

                                                  --- Vinnie

"Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!"

                                                         --- Mike Parasich

"It takes perversion to a higher level."

                                                         --- Brian Deffinbaugh

"I... found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to AD&D."

"The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..."

                                                         --- Jason Golden

"I have looked it over gleefully..."

                                                         --- Lonadar

"It looks great! We've been pondering the problems of pregnancy...  It 
looks as if your manual will take care of that and lots lots lots 
more."

                                                         --- Lisamarie Babik

"I also wanted to tell you that your compilation of sex in AD&D rules 
was hilariously funny and extremely FUN."

                                                         --- Adam Rios

"...really wild! I really enjoyed the humor and couldn't resist in 
printing a copy for myself."

"The sex guide did have its moments..."

"I am looking forward in hearing from you again."

                                                         --- The Mage (Nancy)

"Reading your guide was real fun and I think using it will be even more 
fun."

                                                         --- Mike Wellenbeck

"I enjoyed your guide, and it will certainly add some spice to my next 
campaign."

                                                         --- Mike Williams

"I just wanted to commend you for the guide...  It was great...  the 
imagination of everyone involved was excellent."

                                                         --- J.J.  Sutton 

"Fascinating guide you have here."

"You and others have obviously spent a lot of time and effort bringing 
it to its present incarnation."

"I am most impressed, and can't wait to pore over it in more detail."

                                                         --- Corwin

"Interesting and amusing."

                                                         --- David A.  Tumarkin

"I found it really amusing, and while I'm not sure if I will use its 
materials in my games I find it is really inspiring..."

                                                         --- Roberto Di Meglio

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I just looked over the Sex Guide and 
I must say: FANTASTIC!!!   GREAT!!!   SUPERB!!!!"

                                                         --- Alexander Forst

"Excellent work, and thorough."

                                                         --- Scott Spetalnik

"I read you guide...  Its very good!!! Thanks a lot."

                                                    --- Carlos Fernando

"Thank you very much! From the short look I had at the guide just now 
it looks good and useful.  Always nice to see something both amusing 
and functional."

                                                    --- Rhonda Peters

"...by the way I am greatly impressed -- it will help out with my DMing 
immensely."

                                                    --- Sasha Nielson

"I just wanted to write and tell you I loved it..."

"It was amazing."

"I didn't realize how much you could actually put into sex in AD&D."

"I plan to be starting an AD&D world soon, and I hope to use it."

"Thank you very much, and once again, I think you have done a marvelous 
job!"

                                                    --- James A.  Hooper

"Most Excellent!"
                                                    --- Joe Delisle

"I really really enjoy the guide to sex!"

"I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a long time."

"Bravo, good job, two thumbs up."

                                                    --- Thomas The Forlorn

"I enjoyed the Guide to D&D Sex.  It was worth many a hearty guffaw."

                                                    --- Robin F.  Righettini

"You did an excellent job on it."

                                                    --- Rich Watts

"I found the Sex Guide rather humorous."

"I don't know if my DM is going to use it but I might find some of the 
stuff useful, if not entertaining for other players."

                                                    --- Eric Chaves

"I appreciate you work and thank you for it."

"I don't use AD&D, but a German role-playing system here.  So of course 
I have to redo the game-specific things.  However, this document is a 
great collection of ideas and I'm going to use a lot of it."

                                                    --- Donald Buczek

"I wrote to say thanks a lot for writing/compiling/editing the guide."

"...it's just wonderful, funny to read, useful and well written."

"Again, thanks a lot for the guide...  just GREAT."

                                                    --- Jarmas

"Thank you for the info in the Sex Guide.  It has already proved 
helpful, because of the pregnancy of one of the elves, the rest of the 
female characters are mellowing out on the drinking/sex everytime we 
enter a town.  The males are also chilling out, I think they know that 
they are running a chance for disease now."

                                                    --- Arden Meyer

"The Complete AD&D guide to Sex has become my DM's guide."

                                                    --- Callen

"I got the Sex Guide, a friend sent me a copy.  I shrugged it off as 
perverted :) But then scanned through it anyway.  My apologies, it is 
not at all what I expected!

"I am taking my PC's through the Forgotten Realms for a while, then 
plan to whisk them off to Ravenloft for a laugh.  You have given me 
some great ideas to throw at my poor PC's :)"

                                                    --- Deanna

"It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into a 
massive document of infinite knowledge."

"Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest."

                                                    --- Guide Creator

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                                PREFACE


     Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person 
of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief 
statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave".  This leaves 
out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of 
humorous anecdotes.  What if one of the involved people can't 
"perform"? What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? 
Magic-Items? Classes? But where could a player find a could source of 
information?
     On the ADND-L Bitnet list (an electronic mail forum for AD&D), a 
person posted rules for characters to have sex.  I though that this was 
quite clever and a little demented.  Well, just having a few sex rules 
didn't seem so useful so I made some disease and insanities to make it 
more interesting.  I thought I had a pretty nice guide so I requested 
some help on the list for people to look it over.  Well, this caused 
quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as 
suggestions for more sections started pouring in.  Well, over a few 
months ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming.  I even 
established a small mailing list to correspond to these people.
     I saw somw successful guides created by another list member, so I 
asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements 
like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping 
that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity 
to all guides. Eventually, this final product was reached.
     This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any 
campaign.  The key is funny.  One objective was to try and keep it 
light and fun.  Although some things may be considered perverse, it was 
created in an jocular fashion.  The intent isn't to offend or disgust 
it is only to enhance the game.  This guide is so extensive that there 
should be something for everybody.  And if not, then you can just throw 
it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something).  I'm sure 
that TSR has plans to publish there own sex guide <yeah, right>.
     For the most part, the information enclosed will have been 
play-tested and in a workable form.  In others, you may have to make 
further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.
     This material is the fruit of my labor with special assistance 
from a few great people of the ADND-L Bitnet list.  Although most 
material is my own, it is not all my own.  Some material was submitted 
from others, and I merely edited it.  Also, many people inspired much 
of the guide.  Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, 
comments, and criticisms.  Acknowledgment to these people is given in 
the Special Thanks section of this guide.  I would acknowledge them at 
the beginning of the guide, but the acknowledgments are specific and 
would be confusing if not read after reading the guide.
     I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed.  This is a very 
extensive supplement that few deserve.  Most criticized, mocked, and 
scorned me and my comrades while creating it.  Only people who are 
helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide.  
Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it 
to every Tom, Dick, and Conan.  However, permission is granted to pass 
on the material so long as no profit is gained.
     For those that do have a copy, I ask that you register with me.  
Then, I will be able to give you new versions and updates of the guide 
as it continues to expand, so you won't be stuck with an old copy.
     For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is 
unchanged.  If you have any ideas, suggestions, comments, criticisms, 
additions, recommendations, or complaints; I would be very interested 
in hearing them. The only way the guide can get better is for everybody 
to contribute in one form or another.  At the very least I would be 
like to be informed of the usefulness of the guide (and add it to the 
story section).  All help would be appreciated.  Because I plan to make 
continuous updates, I would appreciate that people do not make the 
guide available via FTP sites because they tend to accumulate old out-
of-date versions.
     I would appreciate that my name as well as those in the Special 
Thanks section are not removed, changed, or altered since we are the 
ones who deserve credit our names should remain with the guide.
     Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I 
just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because 
I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for AD&D.
     The copyright is not a mere facsimile of my imagination, it is 
actually copyrighted and normal copyright laws apply.  It would be 
foolish to make such a large compilation and not really copyright it.

                                             The Guide Creator

P.S.

     Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics.  
Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play.  
Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding 
more tables.
     I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing.  A lot of 
players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will 
prevent these things to happen.  Having the rules allows the DM to 
ensure that the character suffers, but fairly.  Of course the player 
must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected.  
On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to 
work with instead of just saying something is happening.  The character 
still must role-play.  It just helps to give the players some 
direction.  Being free to let a character do anything in the name of 
role-playing isn't right for AD&D.  AD&D has many rules and to 
criticize rules that others make isn't fair.  Why not criticize the 
combat system, spell casting, and such? You could say that the 
limitations put on spells hampers role-playing.  Why not let characters 
flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My 
point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you 
like at the right time 
will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with.
     However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome.  I didn't 
care for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some 
people do and that is fine.  The conception rules I feel are useful 
because characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) 
without the DM deciding.  Because when the DM decides, the character 
assumes (with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some 
dastardly plot reason.
     There are many types of players around, some like rules others 
don't.  I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask 
for.  I don't limit the guide to just what I want.  I just don't use 
what I like.  I make available what people want and suggest.
     I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all 
about people's complaints:

     "I think all those that complain that the guides are too strict or
     difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of 
     the game, i.e.  following the rules to the letter.  I suppose 
     someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides 
     for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain 
     situations, not creating rules that MUST be played.  In general, 
     I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which 
     can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable.  Thanks for  
     collecting all of this stuff."


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                          THE WILD-THING RULES

                     (There's one in every bunch!)


     NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking
seriously.  If anything, they are provided for your amusement.  It 
seems people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a 
way because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and 
then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections 
like this one, you may want to seek counseling :)

     There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to 
engage in the act of sex.  Unfortunately, the DM's Guide and Player's 
Handbook avoid the subject for obvious reasons.  A player rolls dice 
from pottery to dancing, so why not sex.

     At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for 
quite a long time.  This is true for player characters.  They have 
superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're 
great adventurers).  However, an average character would have 
attributes between 9-12.  Using the below rules, an average character 
(10 or 11 in all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes 
(rounds) and might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if 
very, very luck (dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).
     Some DM's may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex 
than others.  Many arguments can be made for every race.  The one race 
that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race.  
However, since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial 
character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves 
get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.

     The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can 
continue having sex:

1)  A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her 
constitution with certain modifiers.  Table 1 lists modifiers to 
constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it).  Table 2 
lists modifiers to constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up).  
Table 3 lists modifiers to constitution by the partner's charisma 
(charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their comeliness 
isn't high).  If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make 
constitution checks (Step 2).

2)  After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a 
constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue.  Modifiers 
to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative 
modifier of -1.  The character also needs to make a time to climax 
(TTC) check.  A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women 
indicates such an occurrence.  An additional TTC roll is made and a 
result of 1 indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up).  
Of course, males could have trouble continuing after this, but the 
player can make such decisions.

3)  A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever 
reason.

NOTE: In most cases it takes two to tango, so remember to keep track of 
all participates.

TABLE 1: Dexterity Modifier

A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4   <-- not much fun
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- someone could get hurt

TABLE 2: Strength Modifier

A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4   <-- wears out easily
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- nasty

TABLE 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier

A. Score   Modifier

 03-05        -4
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4

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                     CONCEPTION: WHAT ARE THE ODDS?


     Sure characters screw around, but in never seems like they get 
anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the DM.  
UNTIL NOW!  Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly.
     To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that 
participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers 
(Table 2).  Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful 
roll indicates fertility.  If both are fertile than conception has 
occurred.  Of course, this assumes that both characters are of 
compatible race and are at age where conception can occur (DM's 
judgment), and it is the female's fertile time of the month.  Some DM's 
may allow all races to reproduce offspring.  Other DMs may limit which 
races can breed together.  This decision should remain that of 
individual DMs.

TABLE 1: Base Chance

         Base
Race    Chance
Dwarf     22%
Elf       13%
Gnome     20%
Half-Elf  54%
Halfling  50%
Human     77%

NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100.  This number 
was divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded).  This 
gives an accurate representation of how fertile an overall race is.  If 
a DM wishes to add more races, all that would be needed is the maximum 
age of that race.

TABLE 2: Constitution modifiers

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -6%
 06-08        -4%
 09-10        -2%
 11-12        +2%
 13-15        +4%
 16-18        +6%

     Some may argue that age should play an important role in 
fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules.  However, 
Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here.  
A character's Constitution fluctuates because of age (page 24 of the 
Player's Handbook).  Thus, age is taken into consideration because of 
Constitution changes due to age.  To make any more modifiers would be 
double jeopardy.

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                           PREGNANCY IN AD&D?


                          -------------------


                  NOTES FROM THE COMPLETE RACE GUIDES


Elves

Elven Interfertility (page 40 of The Complete Book of Elves)

     Elves have been known to produce children with beings of other 
races.  Most of these are the offspring of a union between elves and 
humans.  Elf females sometimes find themselves drawn to human men for a 
brief while, and human women cannot resist the charms of certain elf 
males.  The child of these unions is usually born and reared in the 
civilization of its mother; elf males rarely want humans in their 
lands, and most elf females don't want to bear a child outside the 
elven realms, nor to abandon it to humans.
     While elves may dally with members of other races, there is 
usually no offspring from such unions.  Something in the natures of the 
races involved makes such a child distinctly improbable.  Only with the 
aid of strong magicks or unforeseen coincidences has there been any 
result from these dalliances.
     Apart from the physical differences, elves find most other races 
unappealing in appearance.  Dwarves have their beads, and halflings 
have their hairy feet and considerable girths.  While elves may get 
along with these races, they do not, for the most part, seek to grow 
any closer than good friends would.
     Thus, while elves may be physically infertile with other races, 
they generally choose not to be.  While there are many half-elves in 
existence, most of those known are of human descent.  One or two 
half-elf/half-dwarves have cropped up in legends, but little remains of 
what their abilities were like or what the circumstances of their 
births were.

Celebration of Birth (page 50 of The Complete Book of Elves)

     Since elf children are few (or at least far fewer than human 
children), the birth of an elf is a cause of great celebration.  Births 
are always times of great joy.  The village turns out in profusion, 
setting aside the day's work to celebrate with the infant's parents.
     Following a two-year pregnancy, elf woman are glad to celebrate 
the lightening of their burden.  They happily join in the festivities 
honoring their newborn.  Such celebrations typically last several days 
and conclude with the naming of the infant.  Children are given a 
private name by their parents and then given a public name.  The secret 
name is known only to the elf, his or her parents, and the priest 
presiding over the ceremony.  While knowing the name gives no power 
over the elf, it is a sign of love and respect when an elf reveals his 
or 
her true name.
     Gifts and wishes are often bestowed upon an elf child at birth by 
family and close friends of the parents.  Such presents usually have a 
lasting impression on the elf, for favors given to an infant are far 
from ordinary.  One child was given the ability to speak to dragons; 
she later bused the gift to great advantage when she averted a war 
between her village and a nest of green dragons living nearby.  Another 
child was gifted with always knowing when someone lied to him.


Dwarves

Life Cycle of the Dwarves (page 25 of The Complete Book of Dwarves)

     Dwarves reproduce very slowly compared to humans and orcs.  The 
birth of twins is rare and triplets and quadruplets do not occur.  The 
majority of families have only one or two children to care for.  This 
is seen as a virtue because it allows them to lavish their time and 
care on one child, and give that child a better education than would be 
possible with several.


                       LENGTH OF PREGNANCY


     With mammals, gestation period is usually dependent on size.  Yet 
TSR made the elves, who are smaller than humans, have a gestation 
period of 24 months.  Instead of making things complicated, size is not 
dependant on gestation in these rules but rather maximum age.  This 
will be explained after Table 1.
     Table 1 lists the length of pregnancy for each race.  Also, it 
lists the duration of each stage of the pregnancy.  The length of each 
stage is given as well.  Half-elf pregnancies could last as long as 24 
months or as little as 9 months depending on how much human or elf the 
unborn child is.  The number given is for DMs who don't want to bother 
with complicated inter-racial percentages.


TABLE 1: Pregnancy

               Total Length     Duration of
Race           of Pregnancy     Each Stage
Elf             24 months       2 months 20 days
Gnome           16 months       1 months 24 days
Dwarf           15 months       1 months 20 days
Halfling         7 months       0 months 24 days
Human            9 months       1 month   0 days
Half-Elf        12 months       1 months 10 days


     NOTE: The length of pregnancy was derived from the knowledge that 
an elf's pregnancy lasts 24 months (from The Complete Book of Elves) 
and that the elves life span is 750 years.  750 divided by 24 yields 
the number 31.25.  31.25 was then divided into the life spans of all 
races to get the length of pregnancy with the exception of humans.  
Since human pregnancy in AD&D can have real-world basis, the length is 
given as 9 months.  14.44 (derived from dividing 130 by 9) could have 
been used rather than 31.25 but the 31.25 is based on the fantasy elf 
race and so the number was used for the other fantasy races.

     Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the 
pregnant character will suffer.  Refer to the effects section for 
specifics.  Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable.  Therefore, 
DMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves.


1st Stage

     - Check for mood swings at 55% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (20%).
     - Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue.

2nd Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (25%).
     - Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to 
       constitution because of increased fatigue.
     - Increase in urination output.

3rd Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (30%).
     - Danger during spell-casting.
     - Increase in urination output.

4th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (10%).
     - Noticeable weight gain.  Increase weight appropriate to race.
     - Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic 
       food to curb the pregnant women's cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%.
     - +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

5th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (05%).
     - Weight gain.  Increase weight appropriate to race.
     - Food cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to 
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%.
     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

6th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance.
     - Weight gain.  Increase weight appropriate to race.  Adjustment 
to 
       armor size is likely and probably expensive.
     - Food cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to 
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%.
     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

7th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to 
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half.  Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of
       concentration.

8th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to 
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half.  Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of 
       concentration.

9th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to 
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half.  Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of 
       concentration.
     - Develops nesting habits (i.e.  desire to make a warm, cozy home 
       and prefer not to go anywhere).


                              EFFECTS


BACKACHE

     The formula to check for backache is as followed: 
50% - (Strength + Constitution) + 5 for every previous stage of 
backache.  The backache lasts for 2d4 days.  If a woman has a backache, 
she is in great pain.  She should get rest and not engage in strenuous 
activity.  If she decides to, the DM may want to impose a 1d4 hit point 
loss for every turn of strenuous activity to simulate the agony.
     Usually in the last three stages of pregnancy, backache is 
constant, so DMS may wish this upon the character.  DMs may desire to 
make a temporarily (until pregnancy is over) drastic reduction of hit 
points to simulate the constant agony of the woman.


MOOD SWINGS (THE BITCH RULE)

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

     - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for 
       an attitude.

     - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually 
       stressful (i.e.  after melee, during an argument, etc.).

     - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex.  other 
       player characters) may request a reroll once per day.  Only one  
       reroll may happen each day.  The reroll represents people who 
       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or 
       for worse).

     - For a roll of 6 on Table 2, roll 1d6 again.  A 1 indicates 
       an obsessive behavior.  Thus, she becomes obsessive about 
       whatever the party is doing at the moment to the point of not 
       letting anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her 
       goal.


TABLE 2: Moods & Attitudes

Die
Roll      Moods & Attitudes
 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly
 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic
 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel
 4        depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate
 5        depressed.  brooding, pessimistic
 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with 
          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check

     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different 
attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to 
roll play to a maximum.


MORNING SICKNESS

     Roll d% on Table 3 to get the level of morning sickness.  If the 
woman continues to have morning sickness from a previous stage, then an 
additional rule on the table isn't necessary.
     Mild morning sickness consists of 1 to 2 hours of nausea a day.  
Moderate morning sickness lasts 1d4 hours a day after which check for 1 
to 2 hours of nausea with-1 penalty.  Chronic morning sickness lasts 
2d4 hours a day after which check for 1d4 hours of nausea with -2 
penalty.

TABLE 8: Level Of Morning Sickness
Die
Roll      Level        How Long
01-60     None         n/a
61-80     Mild         3 stages
81-98     Moderate     5 stages
99-00     Chronic      9 stages


NAUSEA

     A character has nausea if a constitution ability check is failed.  
A person with nausea feels like vomiting.  The character has difficulty 
concentrating and therefore has a -05% chance of spell failure for 
every hour of nausea.  Furthermore, she suffers a -1 to dexterity and 
strength for the duration of nausea.


                  CHARISMA, COMELINESS, AND PREGNANCY


     Some feel that there should be a charisma penalty imposed to a 
pregnant character.  Supposedly, pregnant women find themselves fat, 
ugly, and undesirable.  Thus, they don't give of an aura of coolness, 
magnetism, leadership, and determination.  Not to many will follow a 
moody, weak woman.  This "ugly" state would also be reflected in 
comeliness.
     Others feel that a pregnant character should get a bonus to 
charisma.  Supposedly, pregnant women "glow with motherhood".  Being 
pregnant is the essence of womanhood and many males find this 
attractive.  In fact, a pregnant woman can get people to wait on her 
beckon call because she seems so helpless.  This "natural beauty" can 
be reflected in comeliness.
     Given these completely different views.  A DM should make charisma 
adjustments based on the individual views of those that the pregnant 
character meets.  Thus, one NPC may find her attractive and thus she 
gains a bonus to comeliness and charisma.  On the other hand, an NPC 
can find her repulsive and thus she suffers a penalty to comeliness and 
charisma.


                  DANGEROUS EFFECTS ON A UNBORN CHILD


SPELL-CASTING

     A pregnant mage or cleric can cause weird things to happen to an 
unborn child if she casts spells after the 2nd stage of pregnancy.  
Magic is the ability to shape, control, harness, and utilize natural 
forces that infuse the world and surround the character.  When a mage 
or cleric uses her magic ability, this force can influence the 
development of an unborn child.
     Every time a mage or cleric casts a spell after the 2nd stage of 
pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the spell level that an 
effect has occurred.
     For example, Roxanne The Mage is in her 3 stage of pregnancy.  She 
casts a 2nd level spell.  There is a 2% that the unborn child is 
effected.  The player rolls a 25 on the percentile dice and thus 
nothing happens to the unborn. Then, Roxanne casts a 3rd level spell.  
Now there is a 5% (2+3) chance of the unborn child to be effected.  But 
the percentile dice show a 56 and the child is safe.


PSIONICS

     A psionicist shapes, controls, harnesses, and utilizes natural 
forces that infuse her own being.  The essence of a psionicist is mind 
and body.  Since the unborn is in the body, psionic powers that are 
manifested can greatly effect the unborn child.
     For every psionic strength point (PSP) used by the psionicist 
after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to 
the number of expended PSPs that an effect has occurred.


EXTRAPLANAR TRAVEL

     Each time a pregnant character travels to another plane after the 
2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance that an effect has 
occurred.
     Going to the elemental planes gives a cumulative 5% chance of an 
effect occurring.
     Going to the ethereal plane gives a cumulative 25% chance that an 
effect has occurred.
     Going to the astral plane gives a cumulative 50% chance that an 
effect has occurred because of the strain.
     The effects of going to the outer planes is relative to alignment.  
For each difference in alignment there is a cumulative 2% chance that 
an effect has occurred.  Thus, a lawful good character visiting a 
chaotic evil outer plane will give the unborn child a 12% (lawful -> 
neutral -> chaotic = 3 or 6%, good -> neutral -> evil = 3 or 6% for a 
total of 12%) chance of an effect.


LEVEL DRAINING

     Every time the pregnant woman loses a level for whatever reason 
after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to 
the number of levels drained multiplied by 10 that an effect has 
occurred.  If an effect does occur, minus 5 to the die roll on the Type 
of Effect Table for each level drained.


MAGICAL AGING

     If any aging effect is inflicted upon the pregnant woman (such as 
the Haste spell), the aging effect is split between the mother and 
child equally.  This, of course, may cause immediate labor and birth of 
the child.  Due to increased development rate, the child must make a 
system shock roll based on its mother's constitution.  Failure 
indicates that an effect occurs.


     If there is an effect, roll on the following able (subtracting the 
stage of pregnancy, i.e. add 10 if in the 5th stage of pregnancy) to 
decide if the effect is positive or negative (use appropriate 
modifiers).


TABLE 4: Type of Effect

1-25      Positive; roll on Positive Effects Table 5
26-00     Negative; roll on Negative Effects Table 6


TABLE 5: Positive Effects (ROLL 1d10)

1: Born with infravision which enables child to see up to 60 feet in 
the dark.  If the child's race already has the benefit of infravision 
than add 20 feet to the range.

2: Born with a +1 bonus to all saving throws vs. paralyzation, poison, 
and death magic.

3: Born with a +1 bonus to all saving throws vs. rod, staff, or wand.

4: Born with a +1 bonus to all saving throws vs. petrifaction or 
polymorph.

5: Born with a +1 bonus to all saving throws vs. breath weapon.

6: Born with a +1 bonus to all saving throws vs. spell.

7: Born with 10d10 - 5 % magic resistance.

8: Born with a lifetime regeneration ability.  The child will be able 
to naturally (subconsciously) regenerate 1 hit point every turn.

9: Born with a natural (subconscious) ability to "turn" 1 Hit Die 
undead.  Great potential for child to grow up to be a infamous cleric.

10: Born with a psionic wild talent.  To determine talent see page 20 
of The Complete Psionics Handbook.  If the effect was created due to 
psionics, then two wild talents develop.


TABLE 6: Negative Effects (ROLL 1d12)

1: Born with a -1 penalty to all saving throws vs. paralyzation, 
poison, and death magic.

2: Born with a -1 penalty to all saving throws vs. rod, staff, or wand.

3: Born with a -1 penalty to all saving throws vs. petrifaction or 
polymorph.

4: Born with a -1 penalty to all saving throws vs. breath weapon.

5: Born with a -1 penalty to all saving throws vs. spell.

6: Unborn is mutated into a demon (1st edition vocabulary).  Possible 
possessed by the evil intelligence of a demonic creature.  DM should 
decide what type of demon the child shall be.

7: Radically different coloration of skin.  The color change can either 
be advantageous or disadvantageous to the child, depending on whether 
the new color will give him/her a camouflage appearance or make him/her 
a laughing stock.  A child's color can change to any other color.  The 
color change is left to the DM and is limited only by the imagination.

8: The child's eyes are much different than normal.  Roll 1d6 to 
determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small and 
stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move independently like a 
chameleon; 4 = appear normal but child has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 = 
multifaceted like an insect's; 6 = the child appears to have no eyes 
(any eye sockets are empty, but the child moves and reacts like one 
with normal vision).

9: The child's eyes appear and function normally except for their 
color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 = glowing, 
venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent.

10: The skull or head of the child is adorned with unusual outgrowths.  
While it is possible for a child to attack with these outgrowths (when 
he/she grows up), this mutation does not give the child an additional 
attack per round.  Roll 1d4 to determine the type of adornment: 1 = 
antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp slashing and rendering damage 
each; 2 = horns, as a small bull, doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3 
= single horn, like a small unicorn horn without magical properties, 
doing 1-4 hp stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be 
used to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage.

11: The child has a tail.  While it is possible to use the tail for 
attack, this does not give an additional attack per round.  Roll 1d4 to 
determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-functioning; 2 
= long and prehensile, can be used to hold a shield or other object but 
cannot be used in attack; 3 = long and segmented, ending in a 
nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4 hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like, 
can be used to inflict 1-2 hp damage.

12: REROLL

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       WHEN DOES THE STORK COME?


     Normally, labor will occur 36+1d4 weeks after conception for 
humans, elves, and half-elfs.  Labor will occur 38-1d4 weeks after 
conception for dwarves and halflings.


MISCARRIAGES

     When a character suffers over 50% of total hit points in damage, 
there is a chance that she suffers a miscarriage based on how long she 
has been pregnant.  For the first three stages (1,2,3) the chance of a 
miscarriage is 50%.  For the second three stages (4,5,6) the chance of 
a miscarriage is 25% The woman has 3d4 hours to get to a cleric for a 
Cure Critical Wounds to save the child.  Of course, the child must make 
a system shock based on its mother's constitution to survive.  In the 
case of a miscarriage, there is a 25% of hemorrhaging.  Hemorrhaging 
causes 3d6 points of internal damage to the character.
     For the last three stages (7,8,9) instead of a miscarriage there 
is a 50% chance for a premature birth.


LABOR & BIRTH

     When a women has her first child, she will be in labor 4d6 hours.  
Subsequent labors will be for 1d10 hours.
     The chance for a successful birth is based on the following 
formula (use mom's stats): success % = System Shock + (2 * Strength).

     The DM has two options for an unsuccessful birth.  Kind DMs can 
make the mother make a system shock/2.  If she succeeds then the child 
makes a roll to check for failure on the table based on the following 
formula: (system shock/2) - 1 for each day premature.  (NOTE: subtract 
10% from the table for each day the child is premature.) This option 
gives the character and child a second chance.  A more sinister DM can 
require a roll on the table without any second chances.


TABLE 7: Failed Birth (Roll 1d100)

 1-40      child dies
41-80      mother dies
81-98      both dies
99-00      Both live

DMs may adjusted the table based on their own campaign.


RECOVERY FROM BIRTH

     The mother must spend 1d6+3 days in recovery.  If the character 
wishes to engage in strenuous activities rather than recover, the DM 
can implement penalties to abilities (i.e.  strength, constitution, 
dexterity).  The bitch rule should remain in effect for an additional 
1d4 weeks after birth.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                          SPELLS FOR THE MOTHER


Level 1
Detect Pregnancy                    Prevent Nausea
Summon Midwife

Level 2
Assist Labor & Birth

Level 6
'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy


Detect Pregnancy (Divination)

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Divination
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell enables the priest to detect pregnancy in any creature.  
The priest will also know the day of conception, stage of pregnancy, 
estimated day of birth, and gender of child.


Prevent Nausea (Abjuration) Reversible

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 6 turns/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell will prevent the woman from getting nausea for the 
duration of the spell.  The reverse of this spell will cause nausea to 
the victim, male or female.


Summon Midwife (Conjuration/Summoning)

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Summoning
Range: 30 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: none
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell will summon the nearest midwife.  The midwife will get 
the summons.  She is under no obligation to respond to the summons, but 
very few midwifes will ignore it unless unfortunate circumstances 
prevail.


Assist Labor & Birth (Necromancy)

Class: Cleric
Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: none
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell has multiple functions to assist the mother in labor 
and birth:

     Epidural - Produces a numbing of the lower back and pelvis to  
     reduce stress on the mother during labor.

     Push - Assists mother in pushing the child out.  Will cut the time 
     of labor by 1d4 hours.

     Turn Baby - Will position the child correctly during labor for 
     proper birth.

The material components of this spell are boiling hot water and towels.


'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy (Necromancy)

Class: Mage
Level: 6
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: permanent
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell will speed up the pregnancy of a woman from 9 stages to 
9 hours (1 hour for each stage left until birth).  The pregnatn woman 
must make a system shock when its time to give birth.  Success 
indicates that the birth is successful, failure indicates that child 
dies and the woman suffers a permanent -1 reduction to constitution.
     'Irnar is still researching, but the priestesses of the Mother 
Goddess are doing their damndest to hunt him down and destroy his 
research, it is a violation if their creed.




     Some parental mages have created a few useful cantrips.  Below is 
a 
list of them.  They have a small description and should not need 
additional explanation.

Burp - causes the infant to pass gas.
Create Cheerios and Milk - creates a healthy portion of cereal w/ milk.
Gallager's Food to Mush - transfers food to edible mush for infants.
Turn Toddler - keeps a whinny kid at bay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME


     Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the 
fetus.  In some areas, the brain may never totally mature.  In addition 
to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of 
"right or wrong".  He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential 
long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the 
benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today 
for a test next week.  These symptoms can range anywhere from almost 
unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small, 
misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.
     Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept.  
Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy 
friendships.  They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the 
other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc).  They 
can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink, 
steal, etc..  Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as 
imminent.  The awful thing is, it's not their fault!
     Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if 
she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small 
amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  The more 
often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible 
effects.  The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a 
cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for 
every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) 
during the pregnancy.  If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then 
the DM has two options in deciding on the results:

     1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the 
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during 
     the pregnancy.  Then consult Table 1.

     2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the 
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during 
     the pregnancy.  Then consult Table 2.  Note that the character has 
     all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll.  That 
is, 
     if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4, 
     5, and 6.


Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

Die
Roll     Effect
01-03    Intelligence is 4d4.
04-06    Intelligence is 3d4.
07-09    Intelligence is 2d4.
10-12    Intelligence is 1d4.
13-15    Wisdom is 4d4.
16-18    Wisdom is 3d4.
19-21    Wisdom is 2d4.
22-24    Wisdom is 1d4.
25-27    Strength is 4d4.
28-30    Strength is 3d4.
31-33    Strength is 2d4.
34-36    Strength is 1d4.
37-39    Some facial disfigurement.  Charisma is 4d4.
40-42    Some facial disfigurement.  Charisma is 3d4.
43-45    Extreme facial disfigurement.  Charisma is 2d4.
46-48    Extreme facial disfigurement.  Charisma is 1d4.
49-51    Weak.  Constitution is 4d4.
52-54    Weak.  Constitution is 3d4.
55-57    Very Weak.  Constitution is 2d4.
58-60    Very Weak.  Constitution is 1d4.
61-63    Learns at 1/4 speed.
64-66    Learns at 1/2 speed.
67-69    Learns at 3/4 speed.
70-72    Cannot have a lawful alignment.
73-75    Must have a chaotic alignment.
76-78    Must have a neutral alignment.
79-81    Unable to save money, destitute.  Always gets rid of money.
82-84    Unable to save money, poor.  Wastes money on frivolous things.
85-87    Never able to cast spells.
88-90    2d20+8 % magic resistance.  Roll ignoring any result above 87.
91-93    Two problems.  Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.
94-96    Three problems.  Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.
97-99    Four problems.  Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.
00-00    Five problems.  Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.


Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

 1   Intelligence penalized -1d4.
 2   Wisdom penalized -1d4.
 3   Strength penalized -1d4.
 4   Some facial disfigurement.  Charisma penalized -1d4.
 5   Weaker.  Constitution penalized 1d4.
 6   Learns at 1/4 speed.
 7   Cannot have a lawful alignment.
 8   Must have a chaotic alignment.
 9   Must have a neutral alignment.
10   Unable to save money, poor.  Wastes money on frivolous things.
11   Never able to cast spells.
12   2d20+8 % magic resistance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                            SEXUAL TENDENCY


     Some DMs may like totally random factors in a character's 
generation thus this sexual tendency optional rule is presented.  Roll 
1d100 on Table 1 to get the sexual tendency of the character using the 
appropriate social class modifier from Table 2.  The reason for the 
social class modifier: the upper classes have more access to 
culturally-accepted sexual information and are under strict "moral" 
guardianship.

TABLE 1: Sexual Tendencies

Die Roll   Tendency
01-80      heterosexual
81-90      bisexual
91-00      homosexual


TABLE 12: Modifiers Due To Social Class

Social Level              Modifiers
Lower Lower Class             0
Middle Lower Class            0
Upper Lower Class             0
Lower Middle Class           -1%
Middle Middle Class          -2%
Upper Middle Class           -3%
Lower Upper Class            -5%
Middle Upper Class           -7%
Upper Upper Class            -9%

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             THE BITCH RULE


     The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very 
moody.  DMs may make this a requirement for all females.  Other 
alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse.  The Bitch 
Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what 
it takes to work.

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

     The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for 
       an attitude.

     The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually 
       stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.).

     Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other 
       player characters) may request a reroll once per day.  Only one 
       reroll may happen each day.  The reroll represents people who 
       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or 
       for worse).

     For a roll of 6 on the table, roll 1d6 again.  A 1 indicates an 
       obsessive behavior.  Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever 
       the party is doing at the moment to the point of not letting 
       anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her goal.


TABLE: Moods & Attitudes

Die
Roll      Moods & Attitudes
 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly
 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic
 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel
 4        playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker
 5        vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling
 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with 
          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check

     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different 
attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to 
roll play to a maximum.

     The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human.  
Because of her great contribution to the AD&D game, a profile of her is 
below.

Salina - 9th level mage

Physical Appearance: Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes.  She has 
remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way 
she rolled it...).  She is a real "babe".  The longer you are in her 
presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite 
up to her comeliness.

Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth.  Her father is a 
rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and 
measures affection in monetary terms.  To increase Salina's value, she 
was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy.  She 
discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection.

Reasons to Adventure:
     Boredom; looking for a thrill
     Companionship (though she would never admit it to herself)
     To gain greater powers and a sense of self away from Daddy
     To get away from Daddy's immediate grasp so he doesn't marry her 
       off to secure a trade agreement or something

General: She lives whim to whim.  She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka 
The Bitch Rule).  She is self serving.  All of her likes and dis-likes 
are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and 
talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent.  She tends 
to dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have 
something she needs from them.  She is a sort-of female Q (from Star 
Trek TNG).  The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because 
she is a really good mage.

Adventure Examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar 
(a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with 
the characters).  She keeps the relationship for what she can get out 
of him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being 
abducted by a goddess of love.  'Irnar is totally into the physical 
aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best 
comeliness in my campaign, she wins out.  Salina has been known to 
disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch 
and reappear with melting snow in her hair.  Or completely soaked with 
water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns.  The party has 
yet to find out what she does on her little side trips.  One time she 
disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but 
she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and 
did not press the questions.  Besides, they desperately needed her 
since they were about to do battle with an Orcish army.

One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a 
Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection.  Salina, 
recognizing the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle 
way of saying "get out of my face" and continued on her way without 
losing hardly a beat.

Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a 
very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the 
thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the 
other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to 
you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice).  The other mage had 
to do some quick talking to get out of that one.  He did get some help 
from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a 
thing.

The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once.  Salina got 
mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed 
him in.  (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.)  
Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got 
a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was 
wearing metal armour.  Two members of the party finally fished him out, 
but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him.  The episode ended 
by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in.  (All went 
in except Salina.)

In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an 
awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat 
down to do her nails.  The party, without a mage to help them  out, 
really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a 
Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time) 
trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the 
impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying 
to take over all of the land.

Well.  There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina.  
The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with 
players like her, the DM's job of making things difficult for all the 
players is made a little easier.  ("With characters like her," quipped 
the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?")

                  This background is brought to you by
                      Morgan the Slightly Chaotic

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

               THE RACK CRITICAL HIT CHART: FOR MEN ONLY

     Female characters are cursed with the Bitch Rule, so how can the 
males be equally punished. Well, at long last, it's here. The Rack 
Critical Hit Chart.
     "Rack" is a term that refers to a shot to the groin.  As most guys 
will tell you, a hit to the body or face is invulnerably more welcome 
and less devastating than a blast to the crotch.
     The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a 
normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker 
rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified ot natural), 
it is now considered to be a rack.

The rack chart is as follows:

 0-70  Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds
       of initiative.
71-80  Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next
       1d6 rounds.
81-90  Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage
       for 1d10 rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies.
91-95  Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher,
       dropping his charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds.
96-98  Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds.
 99    Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can
       be made at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4
       rounds.)
 00    Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing 
       distance must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch
       themselves and remain stunned for 1 round.


NOTE: DM's may enforce the rule that any time a man sees another man
getting racked he must make a constitution check to see if he is
stunned for one round. Exception, see 00.

FINAL NOTE: Due to the amount of protection a male will go through to 
protect his "family treasure", his AC for his privates is 2 better than 
his overall AC. He also gets +2 to his dexterity at any attempt to 
dodge. <evil grin>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                  SEDUCTION, MORE THAN REACTION ROLLS


     This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is 
far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps 
players on their feet.

The following are the steps for seducing:

     - When the character first comes in contact with someone he/she  
       wants to seduce, a normal reaction roll is made (see DM's Guide 
       page 103). If the reaction of the victim is friendly, then a 
       seduction may take place.

     - The preliminary moves are made (i.e. role playing) and attribute 
       checks are made. The seducer makes a Charisma check with 
       modifiers from Table 1. The victim makes an Intelligence check 
       (to see if he/she is dumb enough to fall for it) with modifiers 
       from Table 1. If the seducer beats the victim's roll by 4 or 
       more, he/she is doing well and may continue.

     - The DM decides how many more checks should be made with suitable 
       pluses or minuses to the attribute rolls (take into account how 
       well the player is role playing). Usually no more than three 
       more successful checks are necessary. Failed checks mean that 
       the victim of the seduction lost interest, but the seducer can 
       try again with the Charisma check halved (its not easy to get 
       back up on that horse after being shot down).

TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers

Moves Made        Seducer   Victim
Drunkenly           -2        +2
Sleazy/Raunchy      -1        +1
Aggressive          +1        -1
Gentleman/Lady      +2        -2

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                        NON-WEAPON PROFICIENCIES

                         # of Slots     Relevant       Check
Proficiency              Required       Ability        Modifier
Contortion                  1           Dexterity         0
Massage                     1           Intelligence      0
Seduction                   1           Charisma          0
Sexual Endurance            1           Constitution      0
Sexual Knowledge            1           Intelligence      0


Contortion - A character with this proficiency is able to contort his 
body and limbs into extraordinary positions.

Massage - A character with this proficiency is a master of massaging. 
The character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking 
certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation, 
sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs. Massage is also 
useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus, 
the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands 
skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male 
who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse. 
A proficiency check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the 
massage to be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets).
     This skill also allows the character the ability to strike 
pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and proficiency 
check indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls 
for 1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps).

Seduction - A character with this proficiency is better at seducing 
people than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when 
seducing somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the proficiency 
check is made.

Sexual Endurance - A character with this proficiency is able to perform 
continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to 
fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability 
checks during sex, he/she makes a proficiency check. If a successful 
proficiency check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution 
is cancelled.

Sexual Knowledge - A character with this proficiency has a 
knowledgeable understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to 
constitution ability checks during sex if a successful proficiency 
check is made.
     This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette" 
when it comes to sex. Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences, 
pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact 
with.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   SEXUALIS MORBUS (SEXUAL DISEASES)


     This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject 
which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to 
give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.

CHANCE OF CONTRACTING A DISEASE

     To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex 
with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance 
for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity. 
The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of 
sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed:

     Constitution of character
      1-3    +4     13-15  -2
      4-6    +2     16-18  -4

     protected intercourse    /2   (cuts the chance in half)
     unprotected intercourse  *2   (doubles the chance)

     Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a 
natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection 
(like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His 
chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the 
percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease. 
If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would 
have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned.
     The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of 
course very useful for preventing and curing disease.

RANDOM DETERMINATION OF WHO IS DISEASED

     The DM should decide of the person a character has sex with is 
infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this 
system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is 
already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator) 
section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for 
non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether 
diseases are natural or magical because some DM's may have magically 
rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary.
     The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the 
settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger 
settlements where more people interrelate):

     Thorp, Dorf     10
     Hamlet          25
     Village, Wych   30
     Town            35
     City            40

Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that 
more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there 
are dirtier and less careful):

     Lower Lower Class   +20                 NOTE: not all settlements
Middle Lower Class       +15                 have these many variations
Upper Lower Class        +10                 of social level. The DM
Lower Middle Class        +5                 should be aware of what
Middle Middle Class        0                 social levels are around.
Upper Middle Class        -5
Lower Upper Class        -10
Middle Upper Class       -15
Upper Upper Class        -20

     Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60% 
chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra 
food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would 
have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in 
sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of 
equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the 
rich and he screws just as much.

     At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a 
city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased. 
The first item to note is that this system includes only those that 
ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city 
including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages 
in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another 
important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us 
assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal:

                           Total   Sexual   Chance    Total Of
Social Level               Pop.    Active   Of Dis.   Diseased
Lower Lower Class          1,000    500   *   60%   =   300
Middle Lower Class         1,000    500   *   55%   =   275
Upper Lower Class          1,000    500   *   50%   =   250
Lower Middle Class         1,000    500   *   45%   =   225
Middle Middle Class        1,000    500   *   40%   =   200
Upper Middle Class         1,000    500   *   35%   =   175
Lower Upper Class          1,000    500   *   30%   =   150
Middle Upper Class         1,000    500   *   25%   =   125
Upper Upper Class          1,000    500   *   20%   =   100
                                                       -----
                                                       1800

        Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people 
that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a 
lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity 
do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that 
this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population. 
When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the 
odds.


NATURAL

     Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they 
are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the DM 
should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of 
the disease.

Table 1: Natural Diseases

                       Occurrence             Severity
Name                 Acute Chronic    Mild  Severe  Terminal
E.S.S.                1-4    5-8       1-3   4-5       6-8
Gonorrhea             1-6    7-8       1-5   6-7        8
Insania               1-4    5-8        X     X         X
Prurire               1-7     8        1-6   7-8        X
Segmen Neus           1-4    5-8       1-3   4-5       6-8
Syphilis               X     1-8       1-5   6-7        8
Tuna                   1     2-8       1-8    X         X

     Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute) 
attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted 
(chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if 
they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or 
parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus, 
if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to 
survive another disease attack.
     Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or 
parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover 
time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise) 
and the effects of the malady.

     MILD: During the period of affliction the character is unable to 
perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional 
effects. Some treatment may be determined by the DM to allow a 
shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks.

     SEVERE: A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to 
50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a 
further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state 
as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional 
effects.

     TERMINAL: The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or 
function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the 
discussion of the various maladies). Roll thrice on Table 2 for 
additional effects.

Table 2: Additional Effects

Die
Roll  Effect
1     Burning during urination
2     Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls
3     Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom
4     Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus
5     Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc.
6     Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day
7     Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty
8     10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held  
      items

                              Description

Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in 
males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged 
(max. of two feet in diameter each). The victim's movement is 
quartered. Constitution is halved. The pain is awful and its really 
embarrassing to be seen. There is a 15% chance each month that chronic 
victims experience the disease again.

Gonorrhea - An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum, 
and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual 
intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with 
dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary). There is a 50% chance 
each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Insania - This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity 
disorder (DM's choice; see below). The period of affliction lasts 4d6 
months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims 
experience the disease again.

Prurire - "The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable 
but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There 
is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease 
again.

Segmen Neus - This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre 
who was always pestering female species.  The effects of the disease 
are as followed:
     * -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement)
     * -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity)
     * right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90%
     * unable to participate in any sexual activity
There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the 
disease again.

Syphilis - A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete 
(Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each 
month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Tuna - This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It 
causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is 
quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the 
victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims 
experience the disease again.

MAGICAL

     It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages 
say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused 
them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings 
cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't 
pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They 
last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The DM can pick or 
roll (2d8) on Table 3.
     Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A 
first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid 
secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true, 
but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical 
and are not necessarily that common in society.

Table 3: Magical Diseases

Die
Roll  Disease
2     Acidic Secretion
3     Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)
4     Fiery Secretion
5     Mummy Crotch Rot
6     Orgasmatic Flight
7     Orgasmatic Monster Summoning
8     Orgasmatic Polymorph
9     Poison Secretion
10    Sexual Audible Glamer
11    Sexual Chill Touch
12    Sexual Clairvoyance
13    Sexual Invisibility
14    Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope
15+   REROLL

                         Description

Acidic Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on 
any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) - This magical disease only affects 
females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with 
this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Fiery Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on 
any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Mummy Crotch Rot - This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month 
the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of 
charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure 
wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with 
mummy crotch rot.

Orgasmatic Monster Summoning - Within one round of an orgasm, summoned 
monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is 
relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease. 
Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage.
     In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the 
DM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters 
appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth 
stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level 
monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear. In 
the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes 
terminal after the 7th stage.
     The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a 
number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10.

Orgasmatic Flight - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able 
(not tied down, etc). Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for 
1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. Wall), 
he/she takes off in another random direction. The DM may assign damage 
if necessary.

Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into 
another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as 
wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its 
physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is 
required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor 
does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The 
duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point.

Poison Secretion - The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. Poison) 
on any round (DM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20) 
on the following table to decide damage:

   Die                  Fail   Succ.
   Roll   Onset In      Save   Save
  01-03   10-30 min.     15      0
  04-06  02-12 hours     20     10
  07-09  01-04 hours     20     10
  10-11  02-12 min.      20    01-03
  12-13  02-05 min.      25    02-08
  14-15  02-12 min.      30     15
  16-17  01-02 min.      30    02-12
    18   01-04 min.     Death   20
    19   Immediate      Death    0
    20   Immediate      Death   20

Sexual Audible Glamer - Any time the inflicted engages in sexual 
activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This 
yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is 
based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is 
that of one person. The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume. 
Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth 
round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on.

Sexual Chill Touch - On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the 
inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will 
take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the 
victim must save versus paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This 
paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real 
embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy 
establishment.)

Sexual Clairvoyance - The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown  
locale (chosen by the DM) at random times throughout a sexual 
encounter.

Sexual Invisibility - The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having 
sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when 
the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be 
totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount 
of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a 
quick an discreet exit is required.)

Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope - A person with this disease either 
becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded 
disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed:

     50% - constitution - 5        becoming inflicted
     50% + constitution - 5        becoming a carrier
     10%                           neither

The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table:

    1    Werebear         4  Wearboar
    2    Werefox          5  Wererat
    3    Werewolf         6 Weretiger

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                           SEXUAL INSANITY ?


     A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic 
attack, disease, etc.. The DM must make sure the role of the insane 
character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not 
clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and 
situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a 
condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The DM 
can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d20) on Table 1.


Table 1: Insanities

Die
Roll Insanity
 1   Bitchamania
 2   Coprophilia
 3   Exhibitionism
 4   Fetishism
 5   Geroniophilla
 6   Innecrophilia
 7   Masochism
 8   Mirusmania
 9   Necrophilia
10   Nymphomania
11   Pedophilia
12   Periculuphilia
13   Pigmalionism
14   Sadism
15   Sexaphobia
16   Unus-????mania
17   Uridpsomania
18   Voyeurism
19   Zoophilia
20   REROLL


                              Description

Bitchamania - This insanity can only manifest itself within females. 
Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity 
suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Coprophilia - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have an 
uncontrollable desire to eat the lees (the sediment of a liquid) of the 
sexual partner. If the partner is diseased (hopefully a sexual one), 
then the insane person's chance of contacting the disease is doubled 
and should be checked after each feast.

Exhibitionism - This insanity causes the victim to have a fascination 
of being observed while nude or having sex. The more who witness the 
person the better. The person must exhibit himself/herself a minimum of 
1d10+4 times a week. A few examples are to have sex in a public places, 
flash people, streak, etc..

Fetishism - The victim has a fascination and desire to have sex only if 
a specific object is in his/her possession or if possible the object is 
used in the act (like rods, rings, balls).

Geroniophilla - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire 
sex with older people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The older 
person must be at least be twice the character's age and is 50% of the 
time a three times the character's age (if possible).

Innecrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive 
fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of 
engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the 
opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character 
is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is 
50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of 
begging) intelligent undead. The DM and players can see the dangers of 
a character desiring the likes of a vampire.

Masochism - This insanity causes the character to like to be hurt by 
the partner (normally a sadistic one), using the same ways as the 
sadism. In other words, he/she likes to be on the receiving end of 
physical pain during sexual encounters.

Mirusmania - This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird 
sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some 
examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in 
strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of 
transmute flesh to spells. The DM and player should flesh out this 
insanity for good role-playing purposes.

Necrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive 
fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point 
of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted 
character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the 
opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character 
adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick 
interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the 
character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes.

Nymphomania - Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an 
ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of 
sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the 
opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will 
usually seek out such opportunities. The afflicted must have sex a 
minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly 
requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to 
constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an 
accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Other problems 
could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic 
view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be 
defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing 
people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or 
molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity.

Pedophilia - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex 
with younger people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The younger 
person must be at least be half the character's age and is 50% of the 
time a fourth of the character's age.  Of course this insanity can 
cause a lot of trouble with governmental laws on statutory rape.

Periculuphilia - This strange insanity causes the inflicted to have a 
desire for sex only in dangerous situations and places. When in such a 
situation, the character is 50% likely to go into a sexual frenzy in 
which he/she must have sex immediately, preferably with a close sexual 
partner. Thus, a character will usually have such a partner along with 
him/her when adventuring. Note the afflicted must have this dangerous 
sex a minimum of 1d4+1 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly 
requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to 
constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an 
accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Some examples 
of dangerous situations and places would be when he/she is surrounded 
by a few dragons, in front of a angry lich, or maybe in any battle 
he/she is involved in.

Pigmalionism - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive 
fascination with statues because they are cold, have hard muscles, nice 
form, unemotional, etc.. This obsession extends to the point of 
engaging in sexual intercourse with a statue (if physically possible). 
The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a 
statue when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring 
in temple may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the 
a lovely statue. This insanity could reach a point where the character 
collects statues to serve his/her purposes. The ideal partner would be 
a golem or enchanted statue.

Sadism - The victim of this insanity has a desire to physically hurt 
the person which he/she is having sex with. This attack can be done by 
various strange ways like whipping, kicking, chaining the partner, 
etc.. This insanity could reach a point where the character, under a 
orgasm, kills the engaged person.

Sexaphobia - This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and 
will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine 
retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc.

Unus-????mania - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and 
obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a 
particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to 
seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the 
opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such 
opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even 
his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she 
has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird 
things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example 
below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then 
others. The table below is small and simplistic, DMs may add any 
creatures he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type 
of creature that is desired:

      Mania
Roll  Name (????)    Type of Creature
1     Daemon         Demons *
2     Dimidiuselfe   Half-elves
3     Divus          Dieties, Demigods, etc
4     Draco          Dragons *
5     Druidae        Druids
6     Elfe           Elves *
7     Giant          Giants *
8     Gnome          Gnomes
9     Gobla          Goblins
10    Gole           Golems *
11    Halfline       Halflings
12    Homo           Humans *
13    Lycanthrope    Lycanthropes *
14    Magus          Mages
15    Nanus          Dwarfs *
16    Nequam         Rogues
17    Ogra           Ogres
18    Pugna          Fighters
19    Sacerdos       Clerics
20    Vates          Bards

                                   * can be specific type

Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire 
to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might 
want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have 
sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and 
wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex 
with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex.

Uridpsomania - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have the 
desire to drink the urine of his/her partner. Check for an unhealthy 
disease each time he/she drinks.

Voyeurism - The person affected by this insanity only has pleasure from 
observing the other's sexual organs or people having sex, especially in 
secret.

Zoophilia - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and 
obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a 
particular type of normal animal. The afflicted will furtively attempt 
to seduce this type of animal (still of the opposite sex), whenever the 
opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such 
opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even 
his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. The table 
below is small and simplistic, DMs may add any animals he wants. Roll 
(1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is 
desired:

Roll           Animal              Roll         Animal
  1            dog                  11          mule
  2            horse                12          wolverine
  3            pig                  13          rhinoceros
  4            cat                  14          hippopotamus
  5            monkey               15          boar
  6            bear                 16          bull
  7            elephant             17          buffalo
  8            skunk                18          goat
  9            camel                19          sheep
 10            lion                 20          roll twice -ignore this

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   ON SEX AND SEXUALITY IN THE REALMS


     "In general, the continent of Faerun in the Forgotten Realms is 
marked by sexual equality; females and males are equally educated, 
respected, valued, and eligible for all roles in society. This applies 
just as well to southern lands like Calimshan, in which men often have 
several wives while women have only one husband, although the 
Northerners and Southerners often misunderstand each others' social 
structures. This is typical of a widespread phenomenon throughout the 
Realms: in matters of courtship, marriage, sex, and reproduction, as in 
most matters, there is enough adventuring and trade that people are 
familiar with many foreign customs; nevertheless, most people consider 
their own customs to be civilized and proper, while all other customs 
are unjust and barbarian. This is as true in Cormyr as it is in 
Calimshan, among the Tuigan, and beyond the Dragonwall.
     There is a strong emphasis placed on the importance of marriage 
throughout the Realms, although courtship, marriage ceremonies, and 
family structures vary considerably. Marriage may be conducted by 
clerics of almost every church, and the marriages of all faiths are 
considered equally valid and binding. While sex is generally considered 
more blessed after marriage, there is very little social stigma in the 
lands of Faerun placed on premarital sex between consenting 
hetero-sexual adults. The prevailing attitude seems to be that a young 
woman and young man will choose (or be chosen for) one another, and 
that the same mutual feelings that would inspire them to have sex will 
lead them to want to be married.
     Of course, this ideal is often not satisfied. Trysts, whether 
tragic or comically gone awry, are a favorite subject of bards. Rape is 
all too common, and is strongly condemned by agents of Good, Chaos, and 
Law, as violations of personal rights, individual autonomy, and stable 
social order, respectively.
     Two variations in particular of this ideal face strong societal 
disapproval: interracial and homosexual relations. Interracial 
marriages are tacitly considered inferior. The elf who marries a human 
is considered to have married beneath her station; her spouse will die 
while she is still young, and her half-elven children will face great 
discrimination and will never fully be able to participate in their 
elven heritage. Similarly, half-orcs are considered somehow even more 
tainted than orcs, possibly because of the unspoken assumption that 
they are not only half-breed, but the half-breed offspring of rape.
     On a related note, although it is common knowledge that many 
people and beasts of the Realms owe their existence to crossbreeding of 
different species, we do not presently have an adequate explanation for 
why some species can crossbreed with others and some can not, nor why 
some crossbreeds, like mules, are sterile, and others, like half-elves, 
are not.
     Homosexual couples are almost unheard of in the Realms, and then 
they are a matter of scorn. Lhaeo, Elminster's scribe, is widely 
rumored to be Elminster's lover, and the arrangement is only tolerated 
because of Elminster's unapproachable high status and legendary 
eccentricity. Otherwise, homo-sexuality is only discussed in malicious 
gossip and histories of family scandals.
     Homosexuals are, however, rumored to be found in disproportionatly 
high numbers among certain groups, such as adventurers, who have often 
been driven to adventure because they couldn't quite fit into normal 
society, and the priesthoods of faiths which require celibacy, since 
the priests never need to explain their lack of interest in 
conventional marriage. Of course, most people believe homosexuality to 
be more common in groups they with which they have formed rivalries or 
are actively hostile. Organized groups are said to have formed in 
Waterdeep and other large cities, but their memberships and activities 
are highly guarded secrets. Little scholarly data are known about the 
actual frequency of homosexuals in the Realms, or about their relative 
distribution among men, among women, and among the various races, 
nations, and occupations.
     Sexual matters are not in the explicit portfolio of any major god 
in the Realms, although strong cases might be made for Sune, the 
bewitching goddess of beauty, and Loviatar, the sado-masochistically 
appealing goddess of pain. A small cult has begun to grow praising the 
name of Priapus, Lord of Sex and Carnality, whom I take to be either a 
new lesser power or else a more explicitly sexual aspect of a more 
established god, possibly Sune or Malar Beastlord.
     The use of magic in sex has been extremely limited, due in part to 
people's understandable reluctance to let mages or clerics experiment 
on their sexual organs or psyches. The spells listed above should be 
considered extremely rare. After all, only homosexuals and virulent 
homo-phoebes would be likely to have spent their lives researching 
spells concerning alternative sexualities, and even if such people are 
not as uncommon as we think, they are certainly difficult to discover. 
Most of the other known spells either use people's sexual desire as a 
weapon against them, or show a marked obsession with artificially 
enhancing the spellcaster's own sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, rare 
are sexual spells designed to help others overcome sexual dysfunctions 
or to enhance others' sexual pleasure, and it is this sage's humble 
opinion that the most fruitful sexual research lies in this direction."

               - Respectfully compiled by Spelling of Amn,
                 Scholar, Sage, and Priest of Deneir,
                 for the Preservation of Knowledge
                 and Augmentation of Wisdom in the Realms

               - Reproduced for his Compatriot, Rick Dechance

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Spells with Zip


     All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily 
adjusted for clerical use and should be changed if need be.
     Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the 
level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine 
other spells of the same level and the level above. For instance, some 
of the cantrips seem powerful; but if they were 1st level, a mage would 
probably take Magic Missile or Shocking Grasp over one of them. Also, 
Kiss Of Sleeping is just a variation on the 1st level spell Sleeping. 
Furthermore, Kiss Of Wounding only does 1d3 and is a melee spell 
compared to a Magic Missile's 1d4 and missile range.

Cantrip
Arousal                            Delay Orgasm
Know Sexual Preference             Mordenkainen's Lubrication
Mount                              Pillow Talk
Slap                               Sterility
Sexual Attraction                  Tweak/Goose
Unbutton/Unlace                    Wet Dream

Level 1
Blown Kiss                         Change Sexual Preference
Charm Man I                        Davenet's Seduction
Divine Sexual Orientation          Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss
Ecstasy                            Fascination
Flash                              Freudian Thoughts
Fyltar's Pheromonal Force          Impotence
Kiss Of Sleeping                   Kiss Of Wounding
Masturbation                       Power Word, Rut
PMS                                Reverse Sexual Orientation
Revulsion                          Seduce Undead
Seduction I                        Skank

Level 2
Chastity                           Constant Orgasm
Contraception                      Homophobia
Jealously                          Layla's Good Morning Kiss
Kiss Of Weakness                   Neville's Wandering Hand
Pornographic Glamer                Protection From Intoxication
Sexify/Enhance Comeliness          Transfer Charm
Vampiric Kiss                      Voyeur

Level 3
Kiss Of Slavery                    Kiss of Intoxication
Leomund's Tiny Brothel             Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes
Sex Slave                          Stanza's Diseased Kiss
Obsession                          Prowess

Level 4
Angel's Negation                   Become Phantasmal Lover
Bigby's Bitch Slap                 Layla's Morning After Kiss
Layla's Seductive Impersonation    Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity
Lovesickness                       Power Word, Strip
Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease   Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease

Level 5
Embarrassing Fetish                Layla's Beautification
Reverse Gender Orientation         Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss...

Level 6
Conjure Succubus/Incubus           Prismatic Dildo
Sex Change

Level 7
Impregnate                         Layla's Seductive Shapechange

Level 8
Kiss Of The Nereid                 Power Word, Castrate

Level 9
Heartbreaker                       Kiss Of Death
Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair  Summon Cissaldan


Arousal (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: creature touched
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell creates a state of extreme horniness in the affected 
creature, including both biological and physiological effects, although 
said horniness is not directed towards anyone or anything in 
particular. The reverse of this spell, Disinterest, completely snuffs 
out any lust the recipient might be feeling. The material component for 
this spell is a sprig of mistletoe.


Contraception (Abjuration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: None

     An alternative to the Sterility Cantrip for DMs that don't like 
100% protection. This cantrip significantly decreases the probability 
of fertilization following coitus. This cantrip is cast after sexual 
activity. In some cases this may not be Lawful, and in some may not be 
considered Good. The cantrip is also not entirely perfect, offering 
only 95% certainty, according to the following table:

     Roll %    Result

     01-95     no fertilization
        96     no fertilization anyway
        97     one zygote
        98     two zygotes (possibly identical)
        99     1d6 zygotes
        00     both partners pregnant (magic gone awry)

     The material component for this spell is a red cape or a red 
riding hood.


Delay Orgasm  (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster. 
Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until 
+1 round/level.


Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature. 
The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for 
two full rounds. A creature is allowed a saving throw versus spell and, 
if successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature 
from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip.
     The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual 
preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual 
preference cantrip.


Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 1 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 10 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen needed this
                large amount of coverage)
Saving Throw: None

     This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a 
greasy nature.


Mount (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 hours/level
Casting Time: 1 turn
Area of Effect: 1 mount
Saving Throw: None

     By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive 
person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves 
willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it 
disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with 
any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic 
sexual acts.
     This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their 
art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one 
purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose).


Pillow Talk (Alteration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 pillow
Saving Throw: None

     When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow 
with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about 
sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the 
level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual 
discussions on sexual techniques.


Slap (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: Neg.

Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the 
cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment, 
dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.).


Sterility (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: None

     This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100% 
accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it prior to 
sexual activity. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but 
only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control.


Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: None

     This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every 
three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus, 
this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex.
     Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is 
more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform.
     The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1 
for every three levels of the mage rather than +1.


Tweak/Goose (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: Special

     This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being 
"tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The 
portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be 
uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs. 
spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid losing concentration. 
Other intelligent, small, and medium sized creatures must make same 
save/check or be distracted for one segment. The caster must make a 
tweaking motion with his hand in order to affect the spell.


Unbutton/Untie (Alteration) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instant
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One object
Saving Throw: None

     By means of this cantrip, the caster can magically cause the 
object of the magic - thread, string, cord, rope, button - to untie or 
unbutton itself. The reverse ties or buttons the object.
     A stronger spell in the works is Power Word: Disrobe.


Wet Dream (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: Cantrip
Range: Special
Components: V, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This cantrip consists of a whispered word to another individual, 
who will not hear or understand the word, and who will experience a 
dream erotic enough to produce orgasm the next time that person falls 
asleep. The material component is a feather tinged with blood.


Blown Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 12 feet
Components: S
Duration: --
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: --
Saving Throw: --

     This spell enhances a kissing spell by allowing its range to 
become long range instead of by touch. This spell must be cast 1 round 
prior to the kissing spell. Any kissing spell may be used in 
conjunction with this spell. Note that this allows the caster to blow a 
kiss to those that may not desire one. Thus, the problems with physical 
contact during combat and such have been eliminated.


Change Sexual Preference (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 120 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell affects any single person it is cast upon. The term 
person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of man-size 
or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and 
others.
     The person receives a saving throw vs. spell to avoid the effect, 
with any adjustment due to Wisdom. If the person receives damage from 
the caster's group in the same round the spell is cast, an additional 
bonus of +1 per hit point of damage received is added to the victim's 
saving throw.
     If the spell recipient fails his saving throw, his sexual 
preference is changed to the opposite. Thus a man who liked women would 
now prefer other men.
     The duration of the spell is a function of the charmed person's 
Intelligence and is tied to the saving throw. The spell may be broken 
if a successful saving throw is rolled, and this saving throw is 
checked on a periodic basis, according to the creature's Intelligence 
(see following table).

     Intelligence Score        Time Between Checks
         3 or less                  3 months
         4 to 6                     2 months
         7 to 9                     1 month
        10 to 12                    3 weeks
        13 to 14                    2 weeks
        15 to 16                    1 week
           17                       3 days
           18                       2 days
        19 or more                  1 day

        The DM must make sure that the spell recipient adheres to the 
effects of the spell, but it isn't necessary to go into detail.


Charm Man I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 16 feet radius
Components: V, S
Duration: 1d4+1 turns
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: 1d4+4 men of 3 HD/level or lower
Saving Throw: see below

     This spell is used by witches and houris, but other clever mages 
should be able to adjust the spell for their needs. A witch must have a 
Charisma score of at least 11 to cast this spell.
     It affects victims the same as a charm person spell. If there is a 
leader  with a group of men, he may dispel the charm if his charisma 
plus a roll of 1d8 is six points or more higher than the witch's 
charisma. If the spell is not dispelled by a leader, each man within 
the area of effect must attempt a save versus spells. A successful save 
negates the effect of the spell for that man only. If there are more 
men within range than a maximum number who can be affected, the spell 
is directed against the lower-level men first. The spell won't work on 
any man who has taken damage from any other action of the same witch 
during the current encounter.
     There are four level variations of this spell (Charm Man II at 
third level, Charm Man III at fifth level). They are listed here 
instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the 
difference in duration and area of effect are as followed:
     Charm Man II   - 1d6+4 turns   1d6+6 men of 4 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man III  - 1d8+4 turns   1d8+8 men of 5 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man IV   - 1d10+4 turns  1d10+10 men of 6 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man V    - 1d12+4 turns  1d12+12 men of 8 HD/level or lower


Davenet's Seduction (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent or until dispelled
Casting time: 1 hour
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: see below

     The spellcaster may affect one individual of the opposite sexual 
orientation to become enamored with the spellcaster and willingly 
subject to all of his/her commands. That the victim has been seduced 
(magically or otherwise) will be readily apparent to those who make a 
successful wisdom check. In order to cast the spell, the spellcaster 
must extract a personal item of the victim's, and then cast the spell 
onto the item in solitude. When the item is given back to the victim 
and recognized, the spell is complete.
     The victim is allowed a special saving throw on a d20 based on 
intelligence. The roll is modified by adding the victim's wisdom and 
subtracting the spellcaster's apparent charisma (OPTIONAL: comeliness). 
The spell is effective until dispelled.
     While under the enchantment, the victim will take as gospel 
everything the spellcaster says, and will strive to protect and defend 
the spellcaster at all times. If the spell is broken by another magic 
or by the will of the enchanter, however, the victim will remember 
everything and know that magic was involved.


Divine Sexual Orientation (Divination) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell reveals the hetero- or homo-sexuality of a given 
creature of a species with two genders. The material component is a 
clear, colorless gem, which changes colors as follows:

     red             totally heterosexual
     orange          strongly heterosexual
     yellow          bisexual leaning towards hetero-
     green           50/50 bisexual
     blue            bisexual leaning towards homo-
     violet          strongly homosexual
     ultraviolet     totally homosexual

          * Sage's note: This is simply the Kinsey scale of sexuality.

     In normal daylight, of course, ultraviolet will not show clearly, 
and will appear to anyone without infravision as lavender. The creature 
being scried must be alive and visible to the caster. The method of 
sight -infravision, scrying, clairvoyance, etc. - does not matter. 
Portraits, illusions, or statues, however, will not suffice. The gem 
will remain white, indicating spell failure, if the creature is 
asexual, its attractions are completely unrelated to gender, or is 
magically protected, as by the reverse spell, Hide Sexual Orientation, 
which conceals sexual orientation from magical or psionic detection for 
24 hours.
     Sage's note: although psionics are still a young and arcane 
discipline in the Realms, it has been demonstrated that the psionic 
science of Aura Sight can reveal sexual orientation, especially when 
the subject has expended a great deal of psychic energy on sex or 
sexuality.


Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in 
combat). The mage is in control and can decided how long to kiss. After 
the kiss, both the mage and the victim are stunned for 1 segment per 
round of kissing.


Ecstasy (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     The gestures of the wizard, along with his erotic incantations 
causes the person to go into an enjoyable, screaming, orgasmatic, 
erotic fit. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or 
humanoid of giant-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, 
halflings, kobolds, and others.
     The person receives a saving throw vs. spell to avoid the effect, 
with any adjustment to Wisdom. If the person fails the saving throw, 
he/she loses all dexterity bonuses to armor class. Also, he/she cannot 
move from his/her current location. He/she cannot cast spells, attack, 
use items, etc. Basically, the character is caught up in a real 
pleasurable experience and can't function properly.


Fascination (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 12 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 20 turns
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     The affecting person will be unable to do anything at all except 
follow the mage wherever she/he goes, unable to take his/her eyes off 
her/him. If attacked, the affected will try to beat off any opponents, 
including his own comrades, in a berserk fury (+1 to hit, -1 to AC) in 
order to continue moving towards the mage.


Flash (Enchantment)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature per level of the caster
Saving Throw: 1/2 duration

     In casting this spell, the mage must expose a body part (knee, 
thigh, shoulder, or something more sensitive, as the caster desires) 
and call out something appropriate. It will only affect members of the 
opposite sex or homosexuals. It will cause all creatures affected to be 
stunned by the incredible attractiveness of the body part they have 
just seen exposed.


Freudian Thoughts (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: 1
Range: Within hearing range of the subject
Components: V, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     Sage's Note: This is a great role-playing vehicle for some 
players if there characters get this spell cast on them. It could be 
real fun having a pervert for a character.
     A person subject to this spell begins consciously and 
subconsciously to interpret everything in sexual terms. For example, 
the subject would perceive a sword attack not only as melee but also as 
an attempted rape by a male, and would experience eating a taco 
as... well, you get the idea.
     The material component is the caster's holy symbol, and the verbal 
component is a lewd innuendo.


Fyltar's Pheromonal Force (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 10 yards
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell functions as the Arousal cantrip (see above) with two 
minor adjustments. First, creatures which cannot smell are 
automatically unaffected. Secondly, it raises the morale of all 
affected creatures by 1d4. The material component is a rose petal, 
crushed during casting.


Impotence (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 10 rounds/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell enables the spell caster to render one creature, 
himself or otherwise, impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse). The 
material component is a bucket of cold water. The incantation consists 
of a specific personality (such as "Baba Yaga") who might be 
unappealing to the creature. The saving throw is actually a check on 
the disgust the personality generates in the creature. If the creature 
finds the person repulsive, he fails the save.
     OPTIONAL EFFECT: During the period of impotence, the creature will 
attack at -2 and make morale and saving throws at -2. Wisdom, 
Constitution, and Charisma scores will be lowered by 1-3 points each 
for the duration of the spell. Also, during this time the creature will 
feel downright miserable.


Kiss of Sleeping (Enchantment/Charm) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 10/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in 
combat). After the kiss, the victim goes into a deep comatose slumber.
     Slapping or wounding awakens the affected creature but normal 
noise does not. Awakening requires one entire round.
     The reverse of this spell is Kiss Of Awakening which will awaken a 
person who is magically asleep.


Kiss Of Wounding (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: 1/2

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in 
combat). This kiss causes the victim to suffer 1d3 hit points of 
damage, plus 3 points for each level of experience of the spellcaster, 
to a maximum of 1d3+20 points. Those successfully saving versus spell 
receive half damage.


Masturbation (Enchantment)
Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell causes the horniness of Arousal with the added 
irresistible urge to masturbate with any and all external sexual 
organs. This spell functions like a combination of an Arousal cantrip 
with a command to "masturbate!" If no appendages are free for this 
purpose, the subject will rub the sexual organs against any nearby 
functional object. The material component is two pieces of cloth, 
rubbed quickly against one another.


Power Word, Rut (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards/two level
Components: V
Duration: 1 hour/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One male mammal
Saving Throw: None

     When this spell is cast, the recipient gains a condition of sexual 
excitement and productive activity. This reflects in the recipient as a 
gain a +2 modifier for every three levels of the mage to dexterity with 
respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects 
of dexterity; only sex. Also due to his hyper state, the recipient 
gains a +1 to hit. Furthermore, two points of intelligence and one 
point of wisdom is lost; and one point of charisma is gained. These 
bonuses end when the spell ends.


PMS (Conjuration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: one creature
Saving Throw: 1/2

     PMS causes the subject to experience an unceasing, agonizing, dull 
throbbing pain throughout the groin and lower abdomen, as though all 
the muscles in that area were clenched like a vise. THAC0 and all 
saving throws are treated as if the subject were one level lower (a 
0th-level or 1st-level character automatically misses or fails), and 
Constitution and Charisma are reduced by 1 for the duration of the 
spell. A successful saving throw results in a nagging headache reducing 
Constitution and Charisma by 1 for the duration of the spell.


Reverse Sexual Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with saving throw once/day
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Special; see below

     This spell temporarily converts a creature's sexual orientation 
from hetero- to homo-sexual, or vice versa. A bisexual who favors one 
gender will now favor the other, and a bisexual equally disposed 
towards both genders will be unaffected.  Asexual creatures or 
creatures of species with more than two genders will be affected, if at 
all, by DM's discretion.
     There is no saving throw per se against this spell. Rather, upon 
first experiencing sexual attraction in the altered way, or upon first 
questioning one's unexpected lack of accustomed sexual attraction, the 
subject, if strenuously disapproving, is allowed a Constitution check 
at -4. A successful Constitution check will experience a strong but 
repressive erotic attraction towards a single individual for 1 
round/level of the spellcaster, after which the effects permanently 
vanish. A new Constitution check may be made once per day, but with a 
cumulative  penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.
     The material component is a concave lump of clay which the caster 
re-molds into a convex lump.


Revulsion (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: creature touched
Saving Throw: Neg.

     Successful casting of the Revulsion spell leaves the recipient 
disgusted to the point of nausea at any prospect of engaging in sexual 
activities of any kind, no matter how minor. The reverse of this spell, 
Indifference, eliminates any negative thoughts or feelings the 
recipient may have and replaces them with utter indifference. The 
material component of this spell is a leech or the eye of a tuna.


Seduce Undead (Necromancy)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 undead + (1 undead / 
                every 2 levels above 9th of the caster)
Saving Throw: None

     This spell creates a standing order with one (or more) undead to 
engage in sexual behavior of the caster's choice with the caster. The 
undead will make no effort to harm the caster, although disease from a 
zombie's touch or mummy rot, for example, may (un)naturally occur.  
Each orgasm achieved by the caster causes 1d6 damage to the undead.  
The material component is a drop of semen mixed with menstrual blood.


Seduction I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 turns or until dispelled
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person (4 HD/levels or less)
Saving Throw: see below

     This spell is used by witches (some warlocks have customized it 
for their use). This spell causes the affected person to cast aside all 
weapons, armor, and clothing, in an attempt to seduce the witch, 
leaving the victim virtually defenseless against attacks from the witch 
or any other character or creature. Immediately after the spell wears 
off or is dispelled, the victim can retrieve one of his dropped weapons 
on a roll of 11 or more on 1d20. If the roll is 16 or more, the victim 
may also retrieve a shield or helmet. Rolls may be repeated each round 
until successful, as long as the victim stays within grasping range of 
the weapon or other object to be recovered.
     Saving throws are a straight throw versus spells, modified by 
Wisdom only (no magical protection device apply). Furthermore, the 
victim saves at -1 for every two points of Charisma of the caster above 
12, rounded up (i.e. -1 at charisma 13 or 14, -2 at 15 or 16, -3 at 17 
or 18). This saving throw gives characters or creatures with a decent 
Wisdom a better chance of saving throw vs. spells, tones the power down 
a bit, and makes the calculation of saving throws much easier than the 
original method that appears below.
     ALTERNATIVE SAVING THROW: The saving throw for this spell is 
computed by adding the seduction spell level (1 through 8) to the 
charisma score of the witch and subtracting the wisdom score of the 
intended victim. The resulting number is used as a modifier (plus or 
minus) to a roll of 1d20. The adjusted die roll must be equal to or 
greater than a certain number, depending on the class of the intended 
victim, for the save to be successful. Fighters need a 13 to save, 
rogues need a 12, mages need a 9, and clerics need a 8.
     There are seven level variations of this spell (Seduction II at 
second level, Seduction III at third level). They are listed here 
instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the 
difference in area of effect are as followed:
     Seduction II   - One person (6 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction III  - One person (8 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction IV   - One person (10 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction V    - One person (12 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VI   - One person (14 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VII  - One person (16 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VIII - One person (18 HD/levels or less)


Skank (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 5 rounds/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell turns an innocent, sweet person into a wild and crazy 
nymphomaniac. The affected person will be struck by the nymphomania 
insanity for the duration of the spell.
     This spell is very popular with apprentices at school who like to 
cast it on snaughty, preppy girls.


Chastity (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell compels the affected creature to abstain completely 
from any and all forms of sexual activity, including looking 
appreciatively but with sexual undertones, going to whatever lengths 
necessary to avoid anything which might lead to lust. The reverse, 
Promiscuity, compels the subjects to attempt to engage in their most 
preferred sexual activities as much and as quickly as possible. The 
material component of this spell is a small silver key.


Constant Orgasm (Evocation)
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: 1/2

     This spell causes the recipient to begin to orgasm, repeatedly, 
and with great enjoyment, until the subject's body is no longer capable 
of sustaining orgasm. The duration is based on level, but medically 
speaking, it could end when the body collapses from exhaustion, or (for 
males) when the body can produce no more seminal fluid. The DM may wish 
to add possible negative modifiers for combat, movement, etc. Because 
of the victim's excited state. A successful saving throw results in a 
single orgasm of normal duration.


Homophobia (Abjuration) Convertible

Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     Homophobia causes a person, regardless of orientation, to become 
angry and nauseous at the concept or sight of any person or behavior 
which might be construed as homosexual. The subject will attempt to 
evade and void any such thing and, if evasion proves impossible, 
hostile and even violent.
     Homosexuals affected by this spell will be constantly ill at ease. 
The converse spell, Heterophobia, has exactly the same effects, except 
that the aversion is towards heterosexuals and heterosexuality. The 
material component is a lump of moldy cheese shaped like a triangle (or 
a square, for the converse).


Jealousy (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 turns + 1 turn/level
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: 1-6 persons
Saving Throw: Neg.

     The affected people will become jealous of each other to the 
extent that they will ignore the mage or any other source of danger 
present and quarrel amongst themselves. There is a chance equal to the 
mage's intelligence of such an argument leading to blows and, if it 
does, there is an additional chance equal to the mage's intelligence of 
the fight being to the death. If the fight is not to the death, then 
the combatants will come out of the spell when hit.


Layla's Good Morning Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell wakes up a normally sleeping creature and causes it to 
be favourably disposed toward the caster for 1d6 turns. It also removes 
any natural hangovers.


Kiss Of Weakness (Conjuration/Summoning)
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in 
combat). This kiss causes the victim to lose 2d4 points of Strength for 
24 hours. After receiving such a kiss, the victim will be completely 
helpless for 1d10 turns.


Neville's Wandering Hand (Enchantment)

Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     Neville's Wandering Hand is named not after its inventor, but its 
first victim: Neville, high priest of Torm, who suddenly found himself 
unable to keep from groping and otherwise feeling up the young nubile 
acolyte he was initiating into the order. (We hear that his latest 
missionary assignment to the Icewind Dale is going nicely.) The 
material component is a leaf of poison ivy.


Protection From Intoxication (Abjuration)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 hour/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell causes the recipient to be immune to the effects of any 
kind of alcohol. It also grants immunity to the Houri spell Kiss of 
Intoxication.


Pornographic Glamer (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 2
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Within a 10'x10' vertical square
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell creates a very convincing, erotic illusion with the 
phantasmal effect of an Arousal cantrip nobody who would ordinarily be 
sexually excited by engaging in the behavior or by the objects or 
people being viewed. The illusion includes visual and auditory effects 
only.


Sexify/Enhance Comeliness (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     The recipient of this spell undergoes a transformation in 
appearance to become more sexually attractive to members of the 
opposite gender no matter what the recipient's initial comeliness. 
Looks, smell, smoothness, and even taste of the outer skin are all 
effected. The recipient's comeliness is effected as follows:

Caster's
 Level    Comeliness  Duration
  01          14      10 minutes
  02          15      20 minutes
  03          16      30 minutes
  04          17      1 hour
  05          18      2 hours
  06          19      4 hours
  07          20      8 hours
  08          21      16 hours
  09          22      1 day
  10          23      2 days
  11          24      4 days
  12          25      8 days
  13          26      16 days
  14          27      32 days
  15          28      64 days
  16          29      128 days
  17+         30      256 days

     Note that if two mages cast the spell on a person simultaneously, 
then their levels may be added together to effect a stronger magic. 
Further, this spell has the effect of negating any curse magic which 
degrades the recipient's natural beauty.
     The material component of this spell is a cosmetic and perfume kit 
magically prepared by a thaumaturger.


Transfer Charm (Enchantment/Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: as for the spell transferred
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows a caster of higher level to subvert previous 
magical charms to his own purposes. For example: Erin, a second level 
mage casts Charm Person on a Bryce, who becomes charmed. Anna, a third 
level mage casts Transfer Charm onto Bryce, whereupon Bryce becomes 
Charmed to Anna. However, Deneira, another third level mage, cannot 
Transfer the charm to herself, as she is not higher level than Anna.


Vampiric Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim on the neck and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. 
not in combat). After the kiss, the victim will lose 2 hit points per 
round. The caster will receive one of those hit points per round if 
he/she is not at maximum hit points already.

Voyeur (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 20 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 2 rounds/level
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     A voyeur is a person who derives sexual gratification from 
observing the sex organs especially in secret. Thus, this spell allows 
the wizard to see through a person's clothing and examine sexual 
organs. Of course the gratification part must be achieved solely by the 
mage. The material component of the spell is a small piece of cloth and 
a small piece of glass.

Kiss of Intoxication (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn/level of the caster
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell causes the victim to become completely drunk. He/she 
enters a state of great intoxication.


Kiss Of Slavery (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended 
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in 
combat). This is actually a Charm Person spell with no saving throw. 
Checks to break such a charm are made after twice the normal duration. 
The victim of this spell will obey any order unquestioningly.


Leomund's Tiny Brothel (Alteration)
Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: 15-foot-diameter sphere
Saving Throw: None

     When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque, 
sound-proof field of any desired color around his person. Up to 7 
other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and 
these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it, 
but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate.
     The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if 
the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior 
temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the 
interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel 
also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust, 
sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than 
hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that 
destroys it.
     The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can 
illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired. 
The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are 
also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft 
romantic music upon command. Note that although the force field is 
opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles, 
weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without 
affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the 
hut. The hut can be dispelled.
     The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that 
shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled, 
the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best).


Obsession (Enchantment)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: Person touched
Saving Throw: Neg.

     A person under the effect of Obsession is overwhelmed by the 
erotic desire for some animate creature chosen by the spellcaster. A 
"crush" does not begin to describe the effect. The creature must be 
such that the affected person might feel some attraction towards it 
under normal circumstances, and the affected person will not act 
contrary to alignment or personal ethic. The material component is a 
crushed walnut.


Prowess (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None (None for reverse as well)

     This spell impressively enhances the size, shape, technique, 
stamina, and eroticism of the affected creature with respect to organs 
and matters sexual. Affected creatures are treated as having a Charisma 
of 18 by anyone they cruise or flirt with, they become stunningly well-
endowed, and they are capable of engaging in extremely hot sex without 
rest (bonus of +level X 1d4) to all sexual rolls.
     The reverse, Impotence, makes the subject flirt like a clod, dance 
like an orc, and seduce like a used-chariot salesman. The subject will 
experience appropriate withering, shrinking, and sagging, and will be 
unable to achieve erection or lubrication. Affected creatures are 
treated as having a Charisma of 3 by anyone they cruise or flirt with. 
Orgasm is either impossible or else premature and highly unsatisfying.
     The material component is a leaf of mint.


Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 3
Range: 5 yards/level
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 rds/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell, devised by my gnome illusionist primarily as a good 
prank spell, causes all of the target's clothing and bodily possessions 
to become invisible, but not the target itself. The target sees his or 
her clothes as they normally are. Swords in scabbards are considered 
bodily possessions, but not if in hand. Any clothes put on after the 
spell is cast do not become invisible. Invisible items remain so until 
the for the duration of the spell or dispelled.


Sex Slave (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This very powerful spell reduces a living, intelligent person into 
a lascivious, nymphomaniac sex slave whose only interest is bringing 
the caster to orgasm after creative orgasm. Once the spell has 
transpired, the former slave remembers everything that has happened. 
However, the subject while enslaved will not only not object but will 
enthusiastically agree with every sexual suggestion made short of 
death. This spell is unequivocally evil.


Stanza's Diseased Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent until cured
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell causes one randomly chosen normal sexual disease in the 
victim.


Angel's Negation (Enchantment/Abjuration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell instantly negates the obsessive-compulsive behaviour 
caused by a Seducer, and renders the recipient immune to the non-
magical charms of that Seducer.


Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 4
Range: 5 yards /level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Until the next morning
Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Special

     When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift 
in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the 
victim considers to the ultimate lover. Once the spell is successfully 
cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in 
casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the 
caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own 
sense of wish-fulfillment.
     This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the 
recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the 
worse will be the save:

          had a serving of alcohol          -1
          Slightly intoxicated              -2
          Moderately intoxicated            -4
          Greatly intoxicated               -8

        The material component of this spell is large quantities of 
alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient.


Bigby's Bitch Slap (Evocation)

Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting time: 4
Area of Effect: One female
Saving Throw: Neg.

     A version of the Bigby's Hand spells (although probably not from 
Bigby). A quasi-real hand (five feet) comes into existence and smacks 
the nearest women that the caster commands it to. If the woman knows 
her place is in the kitchen, the hand only does 1 point of damage as a 
reminder. However if the woman has complained, whined or not been to 
the kitchen in three days, the hand instantly grows to the size of a 
Titan hand (25 feet) and knocks the woman into the nearest kitchen (be 
it 10 feet or 10000 miles) and forces her to cook a three course meal. 
If she continuously refuses, the hand will inflict damage on her until 
she submits (DM's decision on damage per hit).
     The hand has as many hit points as the caster in full health and 
has an Armor Class of 0.
     The material component of the spell is a leather glove.


Layla's Morning After Kiss (Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell causes a sleeping being to forget up to one turn of 
action, per level of the caster (the caster may make the window of 
forgetfulness shorter, if he wishes), that occurred just before he fell 
asleep. The caster may remove the forgetfulness at will.


Layla's Seductive Impersonation (Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/level
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows the caster to change his form to that of another 
seductive being for an extended period of time. He retains all of his 
own abilities, and gains all of the natural abilities though none of 
the magical abilities of the creature chosen. There is no danger of 
identity loss as with a Polymorph. The types of beings that may be 
impersonated are as follows: dryad, succubus, nereid, sirine, medusa, 
mermaid, sylph, unicorn, vampire, foxwoman. Other similar beings may be 
allowed at the discretion of the DM, as the spell works by allowing 
similar types of creatures to become similar types of creatures, rather 
than the specific forms being locked into the spell.


Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity (Enchantment/Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell inflicts one random sexual insanity. The reverse spell, 
Layla's Reforming Kiss, removes one sexually-related insanity. It does 
not affect any other forms of insanity.


Lovesickness (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 4
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell makes its recipient become so much in love with the 
mage that as soon as she/he loses sight of the mage, the victim begins 
to waste away. The victim stops eating food, turns to drinking, and 
becomes a general wreck, fighting at a -5. As a result, she/he will die 
of malnutrition in a number of days equal to her/his Constitution score 
plus 10, and there is a 10% chance of her/him committing suicide. 
What's more, if the mage tells her/him to go away, she/he is compelled 
to do so. This unpleasant condition may wear off as a charm person, but 
otherwise must be treated by cure disease.


Power Word, Strip (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/2 levels
Component: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell causes one person to take off all of his armour, 
clothing, weapons, jewelery, etc. as quickly as possible. [inspired by 
Tomas from the Unbearable Lightness of Being novel]


Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell inflicts one normal sexual disease of the caster's 
choice. The reverse, Stanza's Kiss of Curing, removes one normal sexual 
disease.


Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell inflicts one random magical sexual disease.


Embarrassing Fetish (Enchantment)

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with saving throw once/day
Casting Time: 8
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Special; see below

     Sage's note: this spell leaves much room for creative 
spellcasting, but is also very restricted and narrowly defined. Please 
read with care.
     With this spell, the caster can instill in one intelligent 
creature an erotic fascination with a single kind of object, behavior 
(such that the sight, smell, sound, etc.). A sample of that designated 
kind of object or behavior arouses the subject uncontrollably, and such 
that erotic pleasure or orgasm is impossible without the presence of 
the fetish object or behavior.
     Some representative examples of fetish objects are red hair, 
spiked heels, whips, jewelled short swords, oak leaves, artificial 
limbs or amputees, green tunics, tuna, cheese, sheep, gnomes, gnolls, 
red dragons' tongues, royal guards in uniform, children, octogenarians, 
members of one's immediate family, psionicists, rangers, mermaids, 
lawful neutrals, and Red Wizards of Thay. Some representative examples 
of fetish behaviors are having small insects and snails crawl all over 
one's body, inflicting pain on another person, inflicting pain on 
oneself, being strangled, strangling another person, being bound, 
binding another person, being charmed or commanded, staging one's own 
mock execution, and innkeepers' daughters pouring beer down one's 
chest.
     This spell is extremely versatile and may be made as detailed and 
kinky as desired. Extremely detailed or nearly impossible fetishes, 
however, may occur so rarely or be so beyond the capacity of the 
subject to locate or bring about that the spell has little effect on 
the subject's life than to create enormous sexual frustration. Danger, 
pride, and personal cost are not, however, enough to dissuade the 
subject from the fetish once it has been made available.
     This spell cannot create a fetish for an individual person or 
object ("Carolyn Greycloak" or "the Great Ruby of al-Ghasar," for 
example). Nor can it, without the aid of another spell, create 
homosexual desires in a heterosexual, or vice versa.
     There is no saving throw per se against the fetish. Rather, upon 
discovering the fetish, the subject, if strenuously disapproving, is 
allowed a wisdom check at -4. A successful check leaves the subject 
humiliated but thereafter free from the fetish. A new Wisdom check may 
be attempted once per day, but since fetishes gain strength over time, 
the check suffers a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A Wisdom check of 
1 is always successful.
     The material component of this spell is a sample, highly 
representative object of the fetish, or an enactment of the fetish 
behavior on the part of the spellcaster.


Layla's Beautification (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 5
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/caster's level
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: see below

     This spell grants the recipient a Comeliness/Beauty of 25+1d6 
(maximum of 30), with no saving throw. The reverse, Layla's 
Uglification, subtracts 2d12 from the victim's Comeliness/Beauty for 
the same duration. Layla's Uglification has a saving throw.


Reverse Gender Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with saving throw once/day
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: Special; see below

     Under the influence of this spell, the subject experiences 
trans-sexuality, the unshakable conviction that he/she is, despite all 
biological evidence, of the opposite gender than the true one. The 
subject cannot disbelieve or be persuaded otherwise, and will 
immediately adapt hair, clothing, manners, speech, behaviors, etc., 
accordingly. Notice that males will behave in a feminine rather than an 
effeminate manner, and similarly for females; the subject has no desire 
to parody. If the subject's species has more than two genders, the 
resulting gender orientation is DM's choice. If the species has only 
one gender, the subject is unaffected.
     Like Embarrassing Fetish and Reverse Sexual Orientation, this 
spell has no saving throw per se. Upon first consciously realizing that 
one's self-identification as male or female has changed, if the subject 
strenuously objects, the subject is allowed a Charisma check at -4. A 
successful Charisma check leaves the subject confused but no longer 
trans-sexual. A new Charisma check may be made each day, but at a 
cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.
     Notice that gender orientation and sexual orientation are 
different concepts, and that this spell alone will not change 
orientation. However, the subject will claim a different orientation 
based on the differently perceived gender. Thus a straight female will 
consider herself a male who is attracted to men, and therefore a gay 
man; likewise a lesbian will consider herself a man attracted to women, 
and hence a straight man.


Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 5
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     This kiss inflicts one magical sexual disease of the caster's 
choice. The reverse, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Curing, removes one 
magical sexual disease.


Conjure Succubus/Incubus (Conjuration/Summoning/Necromancy)

Level: 6
Range: 0
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 6 turns
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     This spell enables the caster to summon a female or male sexual 
spirit which is subject to perform the caster's sexual bidding (not 
combat). The spirit remains until dismissed. Casting this spell causes 
1d8 damage to the caster, and each orgasm with the spirit requires a 
saving throw versus death magic. Failing this saving throw permanently 
reduces the caster's Constitution by one point. If the spirit causes 
someone besides the caster to orgasm, both the caster and the other 
person must make the saving throw.
     This spell serves few purposes except as a sexual perversion of 
the mage. This spell is always popular amongst Necromancers.


Prismatic Dildo (Conjuration)

Level: 6
Range: 60 yards
Components: V
Duration: 3 rounds/level
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell allows the caster to conjure up an opaque object within 
some orifice of a creature within range, providing the creature with 
seven different sexual stimuli. Any creature with Constitution under 6 
or fewer than 4 Hit Dice is immediately overcome by the sensation and 
falls orgasming and unconscious for 2d4 turns. Any attempt to remove 
the dildo only lodges it further, and increases the duration by 2 
rounds. The seven colors of the shimmering cylinder function as 
follows:

     Color  Order   Effect                   Spell Negated By
     Red     1st    Pornographic Illusions   Disbelief, True Seeing
     Orange  2nd    Arousal Cantrip          Disinterest
     Yellow  3rd    Expansion/Contraction    Hold Person
     Green   4th    Enigmatic Enema          Transmute Water to Dust
     Blue    5th    Ben-Wa Rotation          Chill Touch
     Indigo  6th    Vibration                Irritation
     Violet  7th    Lubrication              Dispel Magic

     Each color must be removed in order to negate the dildo before the 
end of its natural duration. The spellcaster also may dispel the dildo 
at will. It is rumored that other variations of the Prismatic Dildo 
exist, both in their effects and their negations.


Sex Change (Alteration, Evocation)

Level: 6
Range: 5 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent (ALTERNATE: 1 week/level)
Casting time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell causes the victim's sex to change. Thus, a male becomes 
female and visa-versa. A save vs. spell negates the effects. After the 
change, the victim will be confused for 1d10 turns. Also, he/she will 
have a percent chance equal to his/her Constitution of going insane 
because of the trauma.
     The DM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner 
appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem 
powerful.


Impregnate (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 7
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 7
Area of Effect: One female (or Special)
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell creates life and, according to some mytho, a new soul, 
in a creature capable of bearing young. Its reverse, Abort, destroys 
unborn life. The casting of these spells upon a male, though 
theoretically possible, would produce unpredictable effects, although 
male pregnancy is not impossible. Casting this spell on an undead is 
rumored to result in the gruesome death of both undead and caster. 
Both of these spells, especially Abort, are highly controversial both 
for Good and for Lawful creatures. The material component for both is 
an arrowhead dipped in rabbit's blood.


Layla's Seductive Shapechange (Alteration/Divination)

Level: 7
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S
Casting Time: Special
Duration: Permanent until lapsed
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell discerns the nature of what the victim would consider 
most sexually and physically attractive. The spell will make a number 
of attempts to uncover this information equal to the level of the 
caster, or until the information is procured. Each attempt takes one 
segment, and the victim receives a saving throw against each attempt. 
Regardless of whether or not he makes his saving throw, he will under 
no circumstances notice this aspect of the spell.
     This information will be relayed to the caster, who may then opt 
to activate the second half of the spell, which is to shapechange into 
the form the information would dictate. If the caster does not, he may 
apply the unused attempts against someone else, or give up the spell. 
If the caster does, the new form is assumed until the caster wishes to 
end it.
     Example: Layla wishes to infiltrate a party using this spell. She 
casts against the Dirdan the fighter first, and he fails his saving 
throw on her second attempt. She finds he prefers dirty half-orc women 
-- a really distasteful idea. Since she is seventeenth level, she has 
fifteen more attempts to direct against the rest of the party. On 
attempt seven, she finds that Alex the mage would really like a six-
foot tall snow elf who was wearing black leather. Layla finds this more 
acceptable, forgoes her remaining eight attempts, and shapechanges into 
a snow elf. The spell makes her clothing into black leather (without 
destroying or altering any of its previous properties) and makes her 
staff into a bull whip.
     After three weeks, she gets bored of Alex, and ends the spell, 
changing back to her normal self.


Kiss Of The Nereid (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: See below

     When the kiss is bestowed, the victim must roll a successful 
saving throw vs. breath weapon, with a -2 penalty, or drown instantly. 
If he/she doesn't drown, he/she finds total ecstasy.


Power Word, Castrate (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8
Range: 5 yards/two level
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting time: 8
Area of Effect: 10-foot-radius sphere
Saving Throw: None

     When this spell is cast, one or more male creatures of any type 
within the spell range and area of effect are castrated. The power word 
castrates one creature with 60 hit points, or it castrates two or more 
creatures with 10 or fewer hit points, up to a maximum of 120 hit 
points. The option to attack a single creature, or multiple creatures, 
must be stated along with the spell range and area of effect center. 
The current hit points of the creatures are used.


Heartbreaker (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell induces a sudden heart attack in its recipient. A save 
vs. death is allowed. If the saving throw is failed, the creature makes 
a Constitution check. If the check fails, the creature dies. If the 
creature survives, he/she will be totally incapacitated for 1d6+6 game 
weeks. He/she will also permanently lose one point of Strength and one 
point of Constitution, and will have a 5% chance of a future heart 
attack every time he/she ever is required to make a Constitution check. 
Note that this spell does require its victim to have a heart, so not 
all creatures can be affected (i.e. golems, undead, slime, etc).


Kiss Of Death (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     When the kiss is bestowed, the creature is slain (maximum of 150 
hit points can be taken away). After 1d10 rounds the corpse turns to 
dust. The creature can't be resurrected. (See Ya! Wouldn't want to be 
Ya!)


Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair (Alteration/Necromancy)

Level: 9
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Casting Time: 1
Duration: Permanent until cured
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell inflicts the victim with the sexual disease or sexual 
insanity of the caster's choice, permanently, until it is cured by a 
Cure Disease performed by a cleric of a good-aligned god and of higher 
level than the mage who inflicted the disease. While the victim suffers 
from the disease, the spell prevents him from being killed by it, or in 
fact by anything, be it a sword, a fire, another disease, or a blow to 
the head. Should the victim drop below 0 hit points, he will become 
immobile but remain conscious.
     He will be incapable of performing any actions until he is healed 
above 0 hit points. Dropping below -10 hit points will not kill him. He 
gains no hit points back from resting if he is below 0, his body is too 
battered to heal itself and only magical or herbal healing will help 
him.


Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)

(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?")

Level: 9
Range: 30 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 9
Area of Effect: None
Saving Throw: None

     The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional 
connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate 
world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one 
Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever 
the spell caster directs the spell against.
     The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing 
with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much 
vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since 
his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two 
will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation. There 
is no known way of separating someone (or something since the 
Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the 
recipient dies. After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan 
will return to the world from which it came.
     Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and 
are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make 
love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology.


Below is some spell ideas that creative (boarding on sick) mages 
throughout the Prime Material Plane are working on.

   Animal Magnetism                   Cure Groin Soreness
   Deep Throat                        Enchant Condom
   Engorge                            Find Mate
   Finger of Death                    Kiss of Strength
   The All New Bigby's Forceful Hand  The All New Bigby's Grasping Hand
   The All New Bigby's Playful Hand   Tongues
   ReErection                         Unseen Sexual Servant
   XXX Magic Mouth

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    CLERICS WOULD USE THESE SPELLS?

     Most of the mage spells elsewhere in the guide can be easily 
transformed into clerical spells for gods who will grant them.


Level 1
Baltasar's Impediment
Detect Venereal Disease
Divine Sexual Experience
Lactation

Level 2
Protection From Disease
Repair Virginity

Level 4
Fertility

Level 6
Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy



Baltasar's Impediment (Necromancy, Abjuration)

Sphere: Necromancy, Protection
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: 1 (female) mammal
Saving Throw: None

     This spell enables the caster to prevent a female from becoming 
pregnant. Essentially, it impedes a fertilized ovum from implanting in 
the uterus. The casting of Baltasar's Impediment is not necessarily an 
evil act; however, the DM should pay particular attention to the 
alignment of the caster as well as the social & political (esp. 
religious) atmosphere. For example, a lawful good cleric casting this 
spell on a teenager without the permission of her parents, church, etc. 
should be prepared for the wrath of his deity. A cleric who worships a 
fertility god can not cast this spell.
     A neutral evil cleric, nephew of the king, might repeatedly cast 
this spell on the queen in a secret attempt to usurp the thrown. A 
neutral good cleric might cast this spell on all the maidens of the 
keep before its fall to the orc siege -- although he cannot spare them 
from the horrors to come, at least he can prevent the bastardization 
that might result.
     The material components are a drop of blood from the target's last 
menstrual period (or an ounce of her blood, from anywhere, that has 
been mixed with dust and dried in a silver chalice) and the priest's 
holy symbol. The priest invokes the name of his deity, touching his 
holy symbol to the blood. The woman must then consume it, usually 
mixing it with wine or some other fluid. The spell remains in effect 
until the first day of the woman's next menstrual period, or a 
successful Dispel Magic is cast upon her.


Detect Venereal Disease (Divination)

Sphere: Divination
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell detects the presence of sexually transmitted diseases 
in a creature. A successful Intelligence check reveals the nature and 
symptoms of, but not the cure for, any detected diseases. The material 
component is the caster's holy symbol.


Divine Sexual Experience (Divination)

Sphere: Divination
Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: None

     Casting of this spell involves taking a clear vessel of water and 
releasing a drop of ink into it. The percentage of the water undarkened 
by the diffused ink indicates that person's purity score. Although not 
absolutely certain, any score under 50% probably indicates loss of 
virginity, and with the exception of the rarest of heroes and deities, 
the score will be between 25% (casual interaction with others) and 90% 
(extreme debauchery). More specific information may be revealed at the 
DM's discretion.


Lactation (Evocation)

Sphere: Creation
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: Female touched
Saving Throw: 1/2

     Lactation, unsurprisingly, causes the subject to begin producing 
breast milk. This milk is of the highest nutritive value. A saving 
throw results in a single discharge of colostrum.


Repair Virginity (Healing)

Sphere: Healing
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent (until the obvious happens)
Casting Time: 2 turns
Area of Effect: One person
Saving Throw: 1/2 (Special)

     This spell returns the subject to a state of physical virginity. 
If the subject makes the saving throw, then all sexual skills, 
knowledge, and techniques are retained; if the saving throw is failed, 
all knowledge and skills are lost except those known before having lost 
virginity. A female will grow an intact hymen, and any physical or 
medical damage caused by sex or childbirth will be eradicated. The 
subject will legitimately be considered a virgin for all religious 
purposes.


Protection From Disease (Abjuration)

Sphere: Protection
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Saving Throw: None

     By means of this spell, the wizard bestows total invulnerability 
to disease. The creature can't contract, become a carrier, or pass on 
any disease he/she may already have. This spell doesn't cure disease it 
merely prevents its transfer.
     When a person is subject to this spell, a glowing light appears on 
the subject's palm. This is to assure the person has this protection 
on. Therefore, a person he/she can't say "Let's have sex, I have the 
protection on."
     The material component of this spell is a scoop of mold (a generic 
form of penicillin).


Fertility (Alteration, Necromancy) Reversible

Sphere: Creation, Necromantic
Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 turn + 1 turn/target
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell enables the caster to increase the fertility of the 
target. The target may be either male or female. The fertility of a 
character may be calculated as follows (as per The Complete Guide to 
AD&D Sex)  Fertility = base chance + constitution modifier. If both 
participants are "fertile" at time of copulation, pregnancy results.

               Base
     Race     Chance            Constitution  Modifier
     Dwarf      22%                01-03        -6%
     Elf        13%                04-06        -4%
     Gnome      20%                07-09        -2%
     Half-Elf   54%                10-12        +2%
     Halfling   50%                13-15        +4%
     Human      77%                16-18        +6%

     Successful casting of this spell increases a character's fertility 
by 5d6 points. In addition, there is a probability, equal to the level 
of the caster (1% per level), that successful conception will result in 
multiple births (roll 1d20: 1-17 twins, 18-19 triplets, 20 
quadruplets). Multiple castings of this spell on the same individual 
(while the first is still in effect) automatically fail, as does 
casting on a pregnant person. This effect lasts through the target's 
next copulation; thereafter, the target's fertility returns to normal. 
Fertility can also be countered magically by spells such as Dispel 
Magic, Infertility, or Wish.
     The reverse of this spell, "Infertility," destroys the target's 
ovaries/testes and automatically results in a failed attempt at 
conception (assuming that the target did not save versus spells). The 
target remains infertile until a successful Dispel Magic is cast upon 
him/her followed immediately by Regenerate (the former dispels the 
magic, the latter repairs the physical damage).
     Note: Fertility cannot counter the effects of Infertility, but if 
the target is already under the effect of the former, he/she receives a 
+1 bonus to save.
     This spell (and it's reverse) may also be cast upon animals (eg. 
horses). The DM may choose the animal's initial fertility based on type 
and quality of animal.
     This spell can affect up to 1 creature for every 3 levels of the 
caster, unless the cleric worships a god of fertility, creation, death, 
or destruction, in which case, the cleric can affect 1 creature per 
level. Clerics who worship fertility or creation gods can not cast 
Infertility. Clerics who worship gods of death or destruction can not 
cast Fertility.
     The material components for Fertility are the caster's holy symbol 
and a seed from any plant (the seed is not damaged). The caster's holy 
symbol and the ashes from a handful of seeds are required for the 
reverse (the ashes disappear during casting).
      NOTE: While the need for this spell might seem a bit 
questionable upon initial reading, it works well as a plot aid:

     - "Gee, I wonder why there are so many orcs/green dragons/trolls 
       around lately?"

     - "Boy, I sure hope the king has a child with this new queen - 
       this is his third queen already! I would sure hate to see that 
       sleazy nephew of his get the thrown!"

     - "Look, you gotta help us! There's not been a child born in this 
       town in 2 years - not even among the livestock!"

     - It would also be a sneaky way to get those promiscuous PCs.


Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy (Enchantment)

Sphere: Charm
Level: 6
Range: 20-ft radius circle centered within 60 ft. of the caster
Components: V, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 6 turn
Area of Effect: See range
Saving Throw: Special

     Yemelat, whose archbishopric is among the most coveted of all the 
dioceses of Lord Priapus, is most famous for his Orgiastic Frenzy 
spell, first put to shockingly great effect at a Special High Council 
of the priests of Helm, Torm, and Tyr. This spell compels those within 
its range to engage in sexual activities with wild abandon with anyone 
else within the zone. Those within may individually save versus 
petrifaction at -5 to stave off the effects, but must save again if 
they touch anyone or anything in the zone, including their own bodies, 
until they escape the zone or until everyone falls unconscious within 
the zone. The material component is a peeled grape.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                      A BARD'S SEXUAL SPELL-SONGS


                    "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On"

                                   By

              Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale

                       To be sang by the tune of
                  "Everything I do - I do it for you"

The love within your eyes
makes me sure,
I want to give you more...

You ought to know,
I love you so
I will never let you go

Oh, tell me you want my body too
My passion is hardening to you
My body plea
Undress me and you'll see...
Make love to me.

Level 2
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Casting Time: 1 round
Duration: 2 hours (!!!)

Description: The spell-song insures the creature touched (usually the 
bard caster) can engage in continuous intercourse for 2 hours!  
Naturally, the partner can't take a whole 2 hours, so here's how it 
works.
     Take the character's Constitution and add the applying bonuses 
from the wild-thing rules: Strength, Dexterity, partner's Charisma. The 
lowest bonus may be replaced by the bard's level if desired. The total 
is how long the first intercourse will take. During each and every 
intercourse, Four checks are to be done (with 1d20), and when one fails 
the bard loses 1d6 hit points (instead of stopping). There's a 
cumulative -1 to the check with every check done.
     Example: Starting at 27, Luwain can make love for 27 minutes to 
start, then start again with a score of 27-4=23, and make love for 23 
more minutes with checking only the last check of 23-3=20 (a 20 on the 
check loses 1d6 hp). Now, Luwain can continue with a score of 19 for 19 
minutes, checking against 19, 18, 17 and 16, and so on...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         SEXUAL PSIONIC POWERS


Telepathic Devotion

INDUCED PLEASURE

Power Score: Con -2
Initial Cost: contact
Maintenance Cost: 2/round
Range: touch
Prep Time: 1
Area of Effect: individual
Prerequisite: mindlink, contact

     This is the opposite power of Inflict Pain. While no good comes 
from it (no healing or curative effects), it makes the subject 
individual shudder and twist in ecstasy. If used in combat, the victim 
must save vs. paralyzation in order to keep functioning and fighting. 
Failure to save indicates a penalty of -4 on all attack rolls that 
round, and any spells being cast are disrupted.
     The insidious effects of this power occur when it is used in 
conjunction with Inflict Pain. By using the two powers interchangeably, 
dependent upon the victim's actions, the victim can be conditioned to 
perform certain acts instead of other acts they would normally perform.
     For each week of being subjected to this treatment, they must make 
a wisdom check, with a penalty equal to the number of weeks of 
"treatment" (i.e., 3 weeks of treatment = penalty of -3) or have their 
actions in particular scenarios predetermined by their conditioning. 
Only one area of behavior may be affected per victim. Depending upon 
the behavior modification, there is a chance (DM's discretion) for an 
alignment change by the victim.

Power Score: The pleasure is so overwhelming that the victim passes out 
for 1d10 rounds.

20: The contact is broken.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                MAGIC ITEMS YOUR MOM WOULDN'T APPROVE OF


Item                                         X.P.
Boo-Hag Goggles                               100
Breast Plate +1                               600
Earring(s) of Androgyny                       250
Everful Baby Bottle                           200
Figurine Of The Willing WonTon                400
Frictionless Sheets                           250
Gem of the Vo Yure                            250
Girdle of Speedy Gestation                    500
Girdle of Hippolyte                          1500
Hourglass of Parietals                        500
Jackknife of Circumcision                    2000
Ladies' Glass Ball                           2000
Lipsticks Of The Houri
     - Sleeping                              1000
     - Wounding                              1000
     - Weakness                              2000
     - Slavery                               3000
     - Nereid                                8000
     - Death                                 9000
Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini                  1000
Penis of Astounding                          1500
Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy            500
Periapt Of Sexual Aides                      1000
Perfume/Musk Of Attraction                    500
Philter of Love                               250
Phylactery of Prophylactics                   250
Potion of Aphrodisia                          250
Potion of Potency                             250
Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love               500
Ring Of The Bulls                             300
Ring Of Perversion                            ---
Ring Of Protection                           1500
Ring of Sexuality Detection                   300
Sheet Of Useful Toys                          300
Spectacles of Revealing                       250
Sword Of Castration                          2000
Teeny-Weeny Bikini                           1000
Underwear Of Virginity                        200
Wand Of Love                                 2000
Wand of Pillows                              1000
Wand Of Vibration                            1000

Other Related Magic Items from DM'g Guide
Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity              ---     p. 170
Keoghtom's Ointment                           500     p. 173
Periapt of Health                           1,000     p. 176


Boo-Hag Goggles - These goggles make everyone look much more sexually=20
attractive to the wearer than they really are.

Breast Plate +1 - This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to=20
adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC=20
of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange=20
substance referred to by mages as Silicon.

Earring(s) of Androgyny - These earrings make it impossible for anyone=20
to discern the gender of the wearer, even if naked.

Everful Baby Bottle - This baby bottle always contains milk. The milk=20
is kept at a constant warm temperature. Most bottles produce cow's=20
milk, but some can produce milk from other mammals. Some exotic bottles=20
were known to produce enriched dragon's milk.

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon - This appears as a tiny (an inch or so=20
high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed=20
down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living=20
normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves=20
willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue=20
form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount=20
can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

Frictionless Sheets - These covers seem like any other silk sheets, but=20
they have a nasty side. Three rounds after coming in contact with=20
living material (i.e. a person) the sheets become completely=20
frictionless. This could be very nasty if there is any strenuous=20
activity occurring at the time. With the loss of friction there will be=20
nothing to hold the person/s in the bed. Depending on the level of=20
activity the person/s could simply slide out of bed or be shot out of=20
bed at a high velocity. There are several applications for this magic=20
item. But if found randomly by a character it could be fun for the DM=20
to suddenly say to a character that while relaxing on his/her newly=20
found sheets the character slides off and can not clime back into bed=20
(HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH). The effect will wear off in 2-8 (2D4) rounds if no=20
living material is in contact with it.

Gem of the Vo Yure - These finely cut and polished stones are=20
indistinguishable from ordinary jewels, although a detect magic spell=20
will reveal its enchantment. When gazed through, the Gem of the Vo Yure=20
enables the user to see all human and kindred creatures as naked. The=20
viewing range is 300'.

Girdle of Speedy Gestation - This girdle reduces the term of pregnancy=20
and labor to 1/10th of normal, with no ill effects to bearer or baby.

Girdle of Hippolyte - This is really a thin metallic chain one wears=20
around the waist. The wearer is completely immune to any diseases or=20
ill effects gained through sexual intercourse (including the level-
draining abilities of succubi/incubi).

Hourglass of Parietals - This typical hourglass compels sexual=20
segregation. Males and females must move into separate rooms of any=20
building containing such an hourglass once time has expired. This=20
device is commonly used in certain lawful suspicious institutions of=20
learning in the Realms.

Jackknife of Circumcision - A magical device used in the initiation=20
rites of certain mythos, which functions as a Knife +2 in the hands of=20
a circumcised male.

Ladies' Glass Ball - A glass ball containing a green substance hangs=20
from a pendant. The ball itself is plugged from the bottom with a plug=20
of cork. The green substance inside, however, will show magical=20
properties. If consumed by a female this green potion will protect her=20
from impregnation for 1d4 months (DMs choice as to information given to=20
PC). However, if consumed by a male the substance will instantaneously=20
cause 1d4 points of damage. Then a save against poison must be made=20
each hour for the duration of days equal to half the PC's Constitution.=20
If he fails he looses one hit point per failure  The poison in a male=20
will not kill him but causes him sever discomfort and embarrassment. He=20
will begin to grow hair at an accelerated rate (1d4 inches/day) and his=20
voice will become very feminine (no save).

Lipstick Of The Houri - This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss=20
ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double=20
the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and=20
each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.

Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini - As a fashion conscious adventurer,=20
Morgaine has decided to create the ultimate in sexy adventure-wear, the=20
"Chainmail Bikini".
     Provocatively designed to distract opponents, the "Chainmail=20
Bikini" covers only the minimal basics in order to preserve modesty.=20
Both the male and female versions are made of fine quality chain mail,=20
carefully lined with the softest furs available, to ensure no nasty=20
chain burns.
     The "Chainmail Bikini" is magically enchanted to provide armour=20
class protection affordable by anyone. The "base model" provides a=20
straight Armor Class 10 and is merely for decorative/distraction=20
purposes, providing basically no protection for the wearer. Other=20
models provide an increasing amount of magical protection, with a=20
corresponding increase in cost.
     The special "Temperature-Controlled" models have an added feature=20
which maintains body temperature in extreme cold or hot weather. The=20
creature can stand unprotected in temperatures as low as -30 degrees=20
Fahrenheit or as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effect.=20
Temperatures beyond these limits inflict 1 point of damage per hour of=20
exposure for every degree beyond the limit.
     A special model, "Chainmail Chastity", provides a miniature lock=20
and key for those adventurers who are concerned about losing the=20
friendship of their unicorn friends.
     And for those dungeons where the DM forgot to put in a bathroom=20
(or for female adventurers at _that_ time of the month) there is the=20
"Port-a-Potty" model, which has a special liner that absorbs wastes for=20
up to one week's time. To clean, remove liner and place in  a waste=20
receptacle, intone the appropriate magical phrase, and the liner will=20
"give up" its contents. Intone the other magical phrase to reset the=20
liner for another week's work. Warning: Be certain to reset the liner=20
before the week is out, as the liner will automatically stop absorbing,=20
and there is a 50% chance that the liner will automatically reset=20
itself, leaving the adventurer with a lovely, warm feeling. Evil beings=20
leave trapped versions by replacing the lining with a bag of devouring,=20
for a bit more enjoyment.
     A special smaller "Port-a-Potty" diaper model has been created for=20
infants and has been very popular in large cities.

Penis of Astounding - This is a 12' long artificial penis. It is used=20
to stun an observer. When worn by a male, the Penis has a 70% chance of=20
stunning a person for 1d10 rounds. However when worn by a woman, the=20
odds increase to 95%. The penis is not subject to sexual arousal or=20
feeling, thus it can be used in combat, when unsuccessful as a penis of=20
astounding. Another version, the Ultra Penis of Astounding, also comes=20
with a bag of milk.

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy - This engraved gem appears to be a=20
gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against=20
pregnancy for males and females.

Periapt Of Sexual Aides - This gem appears nothing else then a=20
diamond (500-1000 gp), and no magic is detected. When in possession no=20
effect is noted until the possessor engages in sex. Then, if a man is=20
wearing the periapt, he cannot have a orgasm until his partner (which=20
he is having sex with) has at least one orgasm. If worn by a woman, it=20
makes herself more susceptible for orgasms (a roll of 1-2 on 1d10). In=20
a sexual act, if more than one person are using this kind of periapt,=20
they will explode for 3-12 (3d4) of blasting damage (10' radius), and=20
all possessors must check a system shock or lose the fertility.

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction - This liquid increases the wearer's=20
charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a=20
small bottle with 2d20 applications.

Philter of Love - As in the DMG page 144, with the following revision:=20
the philter will only inspire love for the next person the imbiber sees=20
who is of the appropriate gender with respect to the imbiber's sexual=20
orientation.

Phylactery of Prophylactics - A phylactery with 1d6 detachable beads,=20
each one of which functions as a Contraception spell (see guide).

Potion of Aphrodisia - Functions as Obsession spell (see guide)=20
directed towards next person seen by the imbiber, regardless of the=20
viewed person's gender.

Potion of Potency - Functions as Prowess spell (see guide), for 6=20
hours.

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love - Legend states that this enchanted=20
whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The=20
Priestess of Love. Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar=20
temples and the best appears at Rashasia's. Now, tubs appear all over=20
Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub=20
is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The=20
tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the=20
top. Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command=20
words are as followed:

     Temperature   Command        Bubbles   Command
        Cold       Frigus         Low       Humilis
        Warm       Calidus        Medium    Modus
        Hot        Fervidus       High      Alte

Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same=20
effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of=20
water.

Ring of the Bulls - This regular ring is engraved with a bull head.=20
When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The=20
size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):

    Die Roll   Ring Type           Effect
      1-5      Calf                Add 1/3 of the size
      6-9      Young               Add 1/2 of the size
     10-11     Bull                Double the size
       12      THE BEAST           Triple the size (dangerous)

The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.

Ring of Perversion - Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove=20
curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of=20
a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).

Ring of Protection - This large ring is for males only and doesn't go=20
on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and=20
sexual diseases (both magical and natural).

Ring of Sexuality Detection - A very simple ring with a white,=20
semiprecious stone set in the side, which functions as per the Divine=20
Sexual Orientation spell (see guide), with the following restrictions.=20
Anyone whose orientation is scried makes a Wisdom check at -2. If the=20
check is made, then the scried individuals will sense that they are the=20
subject of some scrutiny. A successful Charisma check following that=20
successful Wisdom check will alert them to the purpose but not -=20
necessarily the source - of the scrutiny.

Sheet of Useful Toys - This appears to a normal sheet adorned with=20
about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a=20
patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item=20
is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a=20
whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the DM=20
images.

Spectacles of Revealing - While wearing these, the wearer sees everyone=20
as though they were absolutely naked.

Sword of Castration - This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The=20
real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on=20
the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if=20
female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this=20
sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.

Teeny-Weeny Bikini - This object, when worn, will shrink upon command=20
revealing more and more of the wearer's body thus distracting any and=20
all male counterparts. If the saving throw versus magic is not made,=20
the men around the woman will do various stupid things like run into=20
walls, trip, or make strange burbling sounds as they try not to let it=20
be know how they feel. Although the bikini will shrink, it will or will=20
not reveal anything depending upon the wearer's wishes. Thus, modesty=20
in one might be flagrant display with another. The bikini will fit=20
anyone of any size. The bikini also appears originally as a full body,=20
1920's style swimsuit. Additional References: The Teeny-Weeny-Swimsuit=20
for men. Cost: Varies.

Underwear of Virginity - This underwear is very popular among=20
protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without=20
the command word (usually the father's middle name said backwards). The=20
underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip=20
or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it=20
leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove=20
it.

Wand of Love - This wand is very thin, white, and has a lightning star=20
in one point. Anyone struck by the star (=91to hit' roll required) must=20
save versus spell or fall madly in love with the wand possessor. This=20
love is a double strength charm person (all rules apply), but the=20
effected character will even kill persons to retain his/her loved=20
man/woman in romance.

Wand of Pillows - A normal looking wand which produces pillows. Here is=20
the most fun magic item ever found, a "Wand of Pillows". Just point and=20
it produces loads of nice fluffy pillows. Great for padding that=20
dungeon room to sleep. Also, on occasion it can pad the bottom of a=20
drop when one loses all of his/her rope. Furthermore, one can use it to=20
defeat opponents through bewilderment, "Vile villain, stand back or=20
surely I shall slay you with my great and powerful wand", where upon=20
activation of the wand the enemy would fall into uncontrolled laughter=20
etc, etc, etc...

Wand of Vibration - This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical=20
ruins on one end of the dial it reads "Pleasant Tingle" and at the=20
other end of the dial it reads "The Crusher". The last setting is very=20
dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any=20
materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10=20
points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand=20
in a body cavity at such a high setting.

     Other Magic Items Being Worked on
               Wand of Instant Gratification (ecstasy spell) - Morgan
               Helm of Horniness (cursed item) - Morgan

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         CUPID'S CHAOTIC ARROWS


     These arrows are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege=20
Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to=20
enchant an arrow his mind wanders to perverse or romantic thoughts and=20
the actual enchantment isn't quite what he wants. He sells such=20
"rejects" to the local weapons store at discount prices (which are=20
still quite high due to the power of most of them). The weapons dealers=20
then sell the arrows to foolish adventurers. They advertise the arrows=20
as "Gifts from the Love Gods", "Missile Weapons for the Mature", and=20
"If You Like Chaos...". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a=20
bundle. The arrows are available infrequently and at high cost. (One of=20
the most popular dealers is Secondhand Stan the Pawn and Porno Man).
     These arrows are never predictable in their effects. Roll=20
percentile dice and divide by three (round fractions consistently).=20
Arrows may be used only once, at which time they disintegrate into a=20
worthless pile of dust unless stated otherwise. A successful hit from=20
an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated=20
otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.
     Mainly chaotic characters use the arrows. Also, characters with a=20
low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.

Effects:

1) The arrow is reflected back at the archer. Roll again to see the=20
effects on the archer ignoring this result.

2) The victim's Charisma is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4=20
days.

3) The victim's Comeliness is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 30 for 1d4=20
days.

4) The victim's Dexterity with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6=20
to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

5) The victim's Constitution with respect to sexual ability increases=20
1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

6) All clothing, armor, and personal belongings carried on the victim=20
fall to ground leaving the victim naked.

7) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the=20
opposite sex to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the=20
creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

8) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the=20
opposite sex of the same race to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled=20
to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

9) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during=20
which he/she feels compelled to recite and attempt to write love=20
poetry.

10) The victim becomes infatuated with himself/herself for 1d4. He/She=20
spends a lot of his/her money on mirrors, fine clothing, perfumes,=20
cosmetics, etc..

11) The victim feels the urge to kiss a living creature of the opposite=20
sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

12) The victim feels the "urge to merge" a living creature of the=20
opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

13) "Love is blind" so victim becomes blind for 1d4 days.

14) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected=20
as if intoxicated for 1d4 days.

15) The victim becomes "crazed with love" for 1d4 hours. Thus, he/she=20
is confused. Roll 1d10 for the results:
     1    Wander away (unless prevented)
     2-6  Stand confused one turn (then roll again)
     7-9  Attack nearest creature for 1 turn (then roll again)
     10   Act normally for 1 turn (then roll again)

16) The victim becomes "love struck" for 1d4 days. Thus, he/she goes=20
into a state of suspended animation. This cessation of time means that=20
the victim does not grow older. His/her body functions virtually cease.

17) "Nothin' says lovin' like a bun in the oven", so female victims=20
become impregnated. Roll 1d10 to find out what the child is:
     1-5  same race as parent
     6-9  other common race (elf, human, dwarf, halfling, etc.)
     10   Demon
Male victims suffer 4d6 points of damage as punishment for going around=20
and getting innocent females pregnant.

18) "Say love with the gift that lasts: a diamond". The tip of the
arrow turns into a diamond during its flight. The recipient's Armor=20
Class becomes 10 due to the piercing of the diamond (dexterity bonuses=20
still apply). The diamond-tipped arrow inflicts 1d10 points of damage.=20
The diamond is worth roughly 1d4 X 1000 silver pieces.

19) "Love is in the eyes of the beholder". During the flight of the=20
arrow, it becomes a 70 hp beholder (Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1) and=20
attacks the intended recipient of the arrow. Upon the victim's=20
destruction, the beholder will attack randomly.

20) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet=20
shuffling and tapping. This dance makes it impossible for the victim to=20
do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the=20
Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saving throws impossible except=20
on a roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.

21) The victim has the urge to become a prostitute and will attempt to=20
fulfill this urge for 1d4 days.

22) The victim contracts a random normal sexual disease.

23) The victim contracts a random magical sexual disease.

24) The victim contracts a random sexual insanity.

25) The victim attracts frogs for 1d4 days. The frogs are plain,=20
ordinary frogs whether you kiss them or not.

26) If the victim is male, he develops large breasts for 1d4 days. If=20
the victim is female, she develops an enormous amount of body hair and=20
will prefer to urinate standing up.

27) The arrow is a Heartbreaker. The arrow turns into a lightning bolt=20
that inflicts 10d6 points of damage upon contact. A successful save=20
versus spell reduces the damage to half (round fractions down).

28) The arrow is a Screamer. The whistling sound is like the sound of a=20
bomb falling, but without any effect whatsoever. Normal damage.

29) The arrow becomes semi-intelligent with a great knowledge of poetry=20
equal to a bard's. It will constantly follow the victim around=20
receipting all forms of love poetry.

30) The arrow turns into a rose upon contact.

31-33) REROLL
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           HOURI: WIZARD KIT


     This kit is based on knowledge from The Complete Wizard's 
Handbook. To understand character kits and their use, please reference 
chapter 3 of the said guide.

DESCRIPTION: The Houri is a nymph of paradise. She was born in a seedy 
section of a city, growing up in a poor and miserable life but dreaming 
of a better future. Yet, instead of turning to a life of thievery like 
most, her beauty and intelligence leads her to a life a magic. Once 
there, she specializes in charming, enchanting, and seducing.
     Some people look down upon her as a disgusting prostitute and 
vixen. Others view her as a sensual beauty and the most desirable being 
on the Prime Material Plane.
     In addition to normal magic-user requisites, the Houri must have a 
minimum Charisma of 15 (her voluptuously alluring beauty and charm 
being evident). Also, a Houri is female (although adjustments can be 
made for men and thus a Gigolo wizard kit is born). Furthermore, she 
must be of chaotic alignment.

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: The most appropriate school for the Houri is 
enchantment/charm.

BARRED SCHOOLS: All other schools are barred.

ROLE: The Houri is a fun-loving, charming person who can find herself 
mingling at all the high-class parties with many men-a-calling. She can 
also be found being a high-class prostitute for the wealthy and well-
to-do. Her magic abilities are not always known by the company she 
keeps, which leads to mystery on why she is so alluring.
     Having a terrible and trapped childhood, the Houri is glad to 
adventure, traveling to many cities being the flirt in each. Her 
abilities of charm and communication make her valuable when in contact 
with intelligent beings (shes so irresistible). Because of this, she 
tends to be viewed as the leader of the group, although this probably 
isn't true (such matters of tactics, marching order, etc. are of little 
importance to her).

WEAPON PROFICIENCY: REQUIRED: dagger or knife. The Houri is often fond 
of long, thin pins such as hat-pins and hair-pins, which can be easily 
concealed on the Houri's person and do 1-3 points of damage.

NONWEAPON PROFICIENCY: BONUS: Etiquette, any one of the sexual 
proficiencies listed in this guide (player's choice). RECOMMENDED: 
(General) Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing 
(Rogue, no penalty) Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Houri can spend her money on anything she likes. 
Remember, that the Houri should maintain a level of high beauty. Thus, 
jewelry, fine clothing, and perfumes are a favorite items of purchase 
for a Houri.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Houri has a special power of seduction. Seduction 
is an ability which is used against individual males of the same or 
similar race as the Houri. The Houri's percentage chance of seducing is 
given by the following formula:
                                          Houri's level
                                    --------------------------  X 100
                                    victim's level + modifiers

     TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS...
     Fighter  +3         Elf/Half-elf          +1         * +1 for each
     Rogue    +3         Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling  +2           outsider
     Mage     +4         Orc/Half-orc          -1           (see below)
     Cleric   +5

     TABLE 2: CUMULATIVE VICTIM'S WISDOM MODIFIER
       1   -6            08-14  0
       2   -4             15   +1
       3   -3             16   +2
       4   -2             17   +3
     05-07 -1             18   +4

     TABLE 46: OPTIONAL HOURI'S STATE OF DRESS MODIFIER
     Heavily clothed                +1
     Scantily/Provocatively clad    -1
     Nude                           -2
      (The latter state will not be terribly practical under 
      most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for 
      indecent exposure.

     A seduced man will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his 
surroundings, and attempt to engage the Houri in a passionate embrace. 
In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss spells 
which are very popular amongst Houris). However, if the Houri does not 
attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is allowed to make his 
saving throw versus spell. If this is successful, then he realizes what 
has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he cannot be 
immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however, does not 
affect the success of the spell being used.
     Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other 
females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other 
individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching) 
will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt. For each 
outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.
     Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the 
Houri's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways, 
i.e. if the Houri attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she 
resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his saving throw versus 
spell each time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the 
latter case, the seduction is instantly broken.
     Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a 
Houri may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her level.
     EXAMPLE OF THE USE OF SEDUCTION: Lirona the Houri (3rd level, 
human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human). 
The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people 
present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair. 
Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100 
divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 = 
37.5%. Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms. 
However, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he 
accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist, 
not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!!

     Additionally, the Houri receives a +3 reaction modifier from men.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: A Houri is not allowed to wear protective armor; 
indeed, the less clothing she wears, the more effective she is.
     The Houri receives a -3 reaction modifier from women, for obvious 
reasons.
     The Houri refuses to live the terrible poor life she once had. 
Thus, when making purchase, the Houri accepts nothing but the best, 
whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest 
to carry her possessions. Any time she buys any item, the Houri must 
pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price in the Player's 
Handbook. The DM will decide the price paid by the Houri, which may 
vary from item to item, depending on the quality of merchandise in a 
particular locale.

WEALTH Options: The Houri receives only (1d4+1) x 5 GP for starting 
money.

RACES: A Houri can only be human, elven, or half-elven.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                          SEDUCER: WIZARD KIT


     This kit is based on knowledge from The Complete Wizard's 
Handbook. To understand character kits and their use, please reference 
chapter 3 of the said guide.

DESCRIPTION: Where the Houri tends to be bubbly and perhaps a little 
indiscriminate, the Seducer (Seductress if female) is more subtle and 
discreet in his efforts. He will be dressed elegantly but not showy, 
have excellent taste in all that matters, and be very capable of 
following through on everything he promises... but whether he does, is 
another story. Seducers are the Valmonts and the Casanovas of the magic 
world. In addition to the normal requirements for a magic user, the 
Seducer must have a minimum 15 Charisma and 12 Wisdom (to be able to 
figure out all the tricky angles to use on which particular person).

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: Seducers may not specialize.

ROLE: The Seducer is the man that all the women swoon over and the 
Seductress the woman men fight over. They are manipulators in cunning 
and subtle ways -- yet they are not all evil, some merely wish to 
explore their sexuality in as many ways as they can, and some are 
merely looking for a mutual good time.

WEAPON PROFICIENCY: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon 
easily hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON PROFICIENCY: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Artistic Ability, any 
one sexual NWP. The Seducer is assumed either to have come from a high- 
class background or to be aspiring to/pretending to have one.
RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty) Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Seducer should spend a fair amount of money on good 
clothing, and should bear in mind if male that taking all those lovely 
ladies to dinner will cost a pretty penny.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seducer possesses a similar manner of seduction 
as the Houri, but with the following modifications:

              Seducer's level + his Charisma
              ---------------------------------------------
              Victim's level + modifiers + Widsom bonus
                                           vs. charm spells

         TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS...
         Fighter  -1      Elf/Half-elf          +1
         Rogue    +2      Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling  +2
         Mage     -2      Orc/Half-orc          -1
         Cleric   +1

     A seduced man will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his 
surroundings, and attempt to engage the Seducer in a passionate 
embrace. Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against 
members of the opposite sex except those that are homosexuals. The 
presence of other individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or 
obviously watching) will reduce the chance of success of the seduction 
attempt. For each outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.
     Seduction lasts for one hour per level of the Seducer, or until 
broken by: the victim being attacked, the Seducer resisting the 
attentions and the victim making a saving throw versus spell, or other 
circumstances at the DM's discretion.
     Additionally, the Seducer receives a kind of "professional 
courtesy" from fellow charmers. Such creatures as mermaids, succubi, 
medusae, vampires, sirines, or others that use natural charm spells 
(DM's discretion) will not attack the Seducer and will be friendly 
toward him as long as he is the same toward them. Same creatures will 
be neutral to the Seducer's companions so long as those companions are 
same toward them, but even should the companions attack the creatures 
will not attack the Seducer until he attacks them.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seducer must maintain his wardrobe, and is 
constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are 
such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything 
that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended. 
They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a 
purchase due to their exacting standards.
     The longer a Seducer practices, the more charming he becomes -- so 
much so, in fact, that any humanoid of the opposite sex who comes in 
contact with him must save vs. spell at a penalty equal to the 
Seducer's level, and with no magical protective aid (no rings of 
protection, etc., but Wisdom bonus is allowed) or become mildly 
enamoured of him and disposed towards jealousy of any perceived rivals. 
This can work to the Seducer's advantage, but not when he's trying to 
seduce the Duchess and the enamoured chambermaids are putting mud in 
her stockings.
     Additionally, should a natural 1 be rolled on the saving throw, 
the victim will become completely obsessed with the Seducer. The victim 
will do anything (even violate his alignment) to gain the Seducer's 
love, and will deal ruthlessly with all rivals, real or perceived.
This condition will last until negated by a Cure Insanity cast by a 
cleric of higher level than the Seducer, a Heal, a Limited Wish, a 
Wish, an Alter Reality or an Angel's Negation is cast on the afflicted. 
Alternately, 2d12 sessions psychotherapy lasting one hour each will 
grant the same result as an Angel's Negation.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seducer begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of starting 
money to simulate his higher standing. However, he must spend 50% of it 
on clothing.

RACES: A Seducer can theoretically be any race, although most DMs would 
probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves and half- elves.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


"I'M JUST A GIGOLO..."

GIGOLO: BARD KIT


     This kit is based on knowledge from The Complete Bard's Handbook. 
To understand character kits and their use, please refer to chapter 2 
of the said guide.

SPECIALTY: Entertainer/Lover/Romantic.

QUALIFICATIONS: Standard ability scores (Dexterity of 12, Intelligence 
of 13, Charisma of 15). Gigolos must have a Constitution of 16 or more. 
Humans, Half-elfs, Elves may become Gigolos but they must be male.
     Although it is not required, the recommended alignments for 
Gigolos are Neutral Good, Neutral, and Neutral Evil. These alignments 
seem most appropriate. Lawful characters would steer clear of 
situations that Gigolos often find themselves in. Also, chaotic 
characters couldn't remain with just one person long enough which is 
what the Gigolo kit is all about.

INTRODUCTION:      I'm Just A Gigolo (Sad and Lonely)
                                       --- by Roth Van Clevens


                 I'm just a Gigolo and everywhere I go,
                   people know the part I'm playin',

               Pay for every dance, selling each romance,
                       ohhh, what they're sayin',

           There will come a day, when youth will pass away,
                      what will they say about me,

            Well the in crowd will know, I am just a Gigolo,
                        LIFE goes on without me,

                                 Cause'
                          I, ain't got nobody,
                  nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody,

                         I'm so sad and lonely,
                    sad and lonely, sad and lonely,

                   Won't some sweet mama come with me,
                            I ain't so bad,

                        Booza Booza Bop Tity Bop.

DESCRIPTION: Sages refer to gigolos as men paid to be women's escorts 
or lovers. Some view gigolos as sad versions of Gallants, but gigolos 
are more. Sure Gallants are pure and romantic, but their only concern 
is their own personal passions. They charm and steal the hearts of 
women and then wisk away. The only time Gallants are concerned for 
others is when they can obtain glory and prestige. On the other hand, 
Gigolos make their living entertaining women. Their whole purpose is to 
please and satisfy women.

ROLE: A gigolo travels the lands looking for a beautiful woman (usually 
wealthy and single and probably being a widow) to satisfy. He will stay 
with one woman until the situation becomes unrewarding.
     When a gigolo goes adventuring, it is likely the result of a 
request from a fair maiden, to retrieve an item of beauty and love, or 
for some other romantic cause. Unless a woman is present, the gigolo 
will probably stand clear of danger. But if a woman is looking on, then 
the gigolo will be quite the hero.

SECONDARY SKILLS: Merchant, Domestic Servant.

WEAPON PROFICIENCY: Gigolos must use gentleman weapons such as the 
rapier, epee, foil, sabre, and dagger. They may not use missile weapons 
such as long bow, short bow, crossbow, darts, etc..

NONWEAPON PROFICIENCY: BONUS: Etiquette, Sexual Endurance, Sexual 
Knowledge, Massage, Poetry. Recommended: (General) Artistic Ability, 
Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty).

ARMOR/EQUIPMENT: A Gigolo is not allowed to wear protective armor; 
indeed, the less clothing he wears, the more effective he is.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: 
     The Gigolo gains a +05% adjustment to the Detect Noise thief 
skill, because listening is very important to him (especially for the 
approaching footsteps of husbands, boyfriends, etc). Also, a Gigolo 
gains a +10% adjustment to the Read Languages thief skill, because most 
of Gigolo's customers are going to be fairly educated and most of them 
are likely to have a substantial library.
     Poetic Charm: A Gigolo who directs his attention to one person of 
the opposite sex can attempt to win that person's heart. This requires 
the Gigolo to perform many subtle acts of wit and charm. Among these 
acts must be the recital of at least one poem concerning the person. 
The entire effort takes a minimum of 10 minus the bard's level turns 
(not less then one turn), after which the person rolls a saving throw 
vs. Paralyzation with a -1 penalty per four levels of the Gigolo. 
Failure means that the person is affected as if the Gigolo cast a Charm 
spell on him or her.
     The effect is not magical and doesn't wear off over time, unless 
the Gigolo treats the person badly or exploits them. Each abuse results 
in another saving throw being rolled to break the Gigolo's charm. The 
Dungeon Master may apply adjustments based on the situation.
     Personalize: This Benefit allows the Gigolo to personalize any 
song, poem, or story for 1 person. This makes the person targeted feel 
as if the poem, song, or story is about them. Once a piece has been 
personalized the target will perform any suggestion the Bard makes as 
long as it is not contrary to their nature for 2d10 rounds. If a Bard 
personalizes a bit for someone else within 5 turns of the previous 
target, the first target will fly into a rage from jealousy. Although 
the first target may not act right away, he or she will attempt some 
form of revenge. It is up to the Dungeon Master to determine the 
quantity and method of revenge.
     Domestic Skill: A Gigolo will excel at any one domestic skill. The 
Bard will be able to succeed in all but the most extreme attempts at 
his or her particular skill. The domestic skills include but are not 
limited to: cooking, cleaning, shopping, butler, fashion consultant, 
etiquette, diplomacy, wine connoisseur. The Bard should pick one of 
these to excel in, but may take any of the others as a proficiency. 
These skills are used by the Bard to impress any customer and can 
become an asset when payment is considered.
     Conceal Activities: The Gigolo may have more than 1 customer. This 
ability allows the Bard to Conceal his activities with one customer 
from his other customers. It comes into effect when a customer asks the 
Bard about his "off-time". The Bard is able to skillfully fend off any 
inquiries by redirecting them onto other subjects. Only under a spell 
or spell-like effect will the Bard reveal his other activities (unless 
he wants them revealed, of course).

SPECIAL HINDRANCES:
     The Gigolo receives a -3 reaction modifier from men, for obvious 
reasons. Also, the Gigolo will not gain any followers and will in most 
cases not have a strong hold.
     The Gigolo suffers a -10% adjustment to the Pick Pockets thief 
skill, because he doesn't practice this skill much since it has little 
value for him.
     The Gigolo refuses to live the terrible poor life. Thus, when 
making purchase, the Gigolo accepts nothing but the best, whether it be 
a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry his 
possessions. Any time he buys any item, the Gigolo must pay 10 to 100 
percent more than the listed price in the Player's Handbook. The DM 
will decide the price paid by the Gigolo, which may vary from item to 
item, depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.
     The Gigolo contacts many females in an intimate way. If he 
contacts any sexual disease and passes it on to a client, he will not 
be contacted by any new clients, and as word gets around he will lose 
all his clients. Eventually he will not be able to support himself in 
his current place of residence and will be forced to move to another 
locale.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


            GETTING TO KNOW A PROSTITUTE(RANDOM GENERATOR)


OVERALL PROSTITUTES

     Before getting to know a specific prostitute, the prostitute pool 
should be known. The DM may make adjustments as she/she deems 
necessary.

     To decide the number of prostitutes in a given settlement examine 
Table 1. Make adjustments based on alignment of the settlement (Table 
2). NOTE: Most DMs feel that the number of prostitutes should never 
exceed 10% of the total population unless the settlements primary 
function is prostitution. Therefore, adjustments should be made 
accordingly.

TABLE 1: Number of Prostitutes

     Settlement        Population       # Of Prostitutes
     Thorp               20-80                1d6
     Hamlet             100-400               1d10
     Village, Wych      600-900               1d20
     Town              1500-6500              1d100
     City             10000-60000             2d100

TABLE 2: Alignment Adjustments To # Of Prostitutes

     Lawful    divide by 2
     Chaotic   multiply by 2
     Good      divide by 2
     Evil      multiply by 2

     Information on prostitutes working under management can be found 
in the "The House Of Ill Repute" section.


GETTING A FEEL FOR THE PROSTITUTE

     Not all prostitutes are alike. Below are the steps necessary to 
make a very unique and exciting prostitute.

1) Choose an appropriate sex for the prostitute. Randomly, there is a 
80% of female prostitutes and a 20% of male prostitutes.

2) Choose an appropriate race in respects to the environment (i.e. 
area, population, politics, etc.).

3) Generate ability scores as describe on page 13 of the Player's 
Handbook. Method IV is suggested. The prostitutes highest ability 
should probably be constitution.

4) Height and weight can be generated randomly using Table 3. Take the 
appropriate base score and add the die roll modifier.

5) Roll on Table 4 three times to get hair color, eye color, and 
complexion.

6) Age can be generated randomly using Table 5. Take the appropriate 
base age and add the die roll modifier.

7) The various measurements of a women can be generated as followed:

   - Roll on Table 6 to get the vital measurement statistic.
   - To find bust size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Bust 
     modifier (Table 7).
   - To find waist size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Waist 
     modifier (Table 7) .
   - To find hip size, add the Bust to the proper Hips adjustment 
     (Table 7) .

   If the woman's height is below 5 feet, then modify bust and hips by 
   -2.

8) The major measurement of a man is 1d4+5 inches.

9) With prostitutes can come bad things. Roll on Table 9 to decide if 
anything bad comes with the prostitute. Then, roll on the appropriate 
table in the appropriate section of the guide.

10) With prostitutes can come good things as well. Namely, specialties 
that the buyer may really like. Roll on Table 10 to decide if anything 
extra comes with the prostitute. With specialties come additional 
costs. Adjustments to cost are shown on this table as well. (Cost is 
calculate next.)

11) The average cost to hire a prostitute is 1000 SP / number of 
prostitutes available. Thus, the average cost for a prostitute in a 
town with 10 prostitutes is 100 SP each.
     Adjustments are made based on inclination. Roll on Table 10 to get 
inclination with adjustments from Table 11 and Table 12. Add the 
listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new 
cost. Inclination is just an attitude that the prostitute has towards 
the prospective client which affects the price.
     Another adjustment is made based on specialty, which was 
calculated early (Table 9) Add the listed percent of the current cost 
to the current cost to get the new cost.
     The last adjustment is made based on the race of the prostitute. 
Multiple the multiplier from Table 13 to the current cost to get the 
final cost. (NOTE: This adjustment is mainly for human settlements. An 
all dwarven settlement would have a higher demand for other creatures 
then dwarves. Thus, prices for humans would probably be more.)
     Additional costs can manifest itself when patronizing a courtesan. 
A player might have to spend money on a meal (they got to eat too), 
alcoholic beverages (no doubt), a room (unless you like doing it in an 
alley), and medical expenses (you give them a disease, you pay for it).


     Now, a nice versatile prostitute has been created, but there still 
is room for improvement. Keep in mind that some prostitutes are thieves 
(probably high-level) and should have such abilities. Some could even 
be fighters with weapon specializations in knives and daggers. There 
could even be cleric prostitutes who worship some evil deity of lust.
     The thing to remember is that a DM can use a prostitute as a very 
important NPC. Prostitutes usually have information (dirt) on everybody 
who passes through their beds; not to mention pillow talk info. That 
shouldn't have been told. A prostitute is more interesting than the old 
fat tavern keeper with old boring stories. Keep this in mind, before 
throwing out such an encounter.

TABLE 3: Height And Weight

              Height in Inches        Weight In Pounds
Race         Base*     Modifier      Base*      Modifier
Dwarf        43/41     1d10          130/105     4d10
Elf          55/50     1d10           90/70      3d10
Gnome        38/36     1d6            72/68      5d4
Half-Elf     60/58     2d6           110/85      3d12
Halfling     32/30     2d8            52/48      5d4
Human        60/59     2d10          140/100     6d10

  * Females tend to be lighter and shorter than males. Thus, the base 
numbers for height and weight are divided into male/female values. 
Note that the modifier will allow for a broad range in each category.

TABLE 4: Color Stats.

Die
Roll    Hair Color       Eye Color           Complexion
01-13   Brunette         Lt. Blue            Dusky Olive
14-26   Blond            Dk. Green           Bronze
27-34   Auburn           Hazel               Milky White
35-42   Sable            Brown               Ebony
43-50   Crimson          Crimson             Lt. Red
51-58   Silver           Silver              Yellow
59-67   White            Lt. Green           Brown
68-75   Sky Blue         Dk. Blue            Golden
76-83   Lt. Green        Pink                CHOOSE
84-91   Lilac            CHOOSE              CHOOSE
92-99   Iridescent       CHOOSE              CHOOSE
 00     Bald             Each Eye Diff.      CHOOSE

TABLE 5: Age

Race         Base     Modifier
Dwarf          40       5d6
Elf           100       5d6
Gnome          60       3d12
Half-Elf       15       1d6
Halfling       20       3d4
Human          15       1d4

TABLE 6: Vital Measurement Statistic

Die
Roll   Vital Stat.
01-30      22"
31-50      23"                * Constitution   V. S. Modifier
51-65      24"                      3-8              -2  
66-77      25"                      9-12              0   
78-82      26"                     13-18             +2  
83-85      27"
86-90      28"
91-94      29"
95-97      30"
98-99      31"
 00        32"





Table 7: The Measurements

Charisma *             Bust           Waist           Hips
  3                     0             5-30"           +6d6"
 4-5                   5-8"           2-12"           +1d6"
 6-8                   6-9"           1-4"              0
 9-11                  7-10"          1-2"              0
12-15                  8-11"           0                0
16-17                  9-12"           0               -1"
 18                   10-12"           0               -2"

     * Optionally, you may prefer to use Comeliness rather than 
Charisma since Comeliness is a better representation of beauty.

TABLE 8: Prostitute Extras

Die
Roll   Extra
01-49  Nothing
50-79  Natural Disease
80-89  Magical Disease
90-99  Insanity
 00    ROLL TWICE

TABLE 9: Specialty

Die
Roll   Specialty     Adjustment
01-49  Nothing           0
50-69  Massage         + 10%
70-79  Anal Sex        + 20%
80-89  Oral Sex        + 40%
90-97  Bondage         + 60%
98-99  Roll Twice      + 80%
 00    Roll Thrice     + 100%

TABLE 10: Inclination

Die
Roll      Inclination    Adjustment
 01       Loathe           + 100%
 02       Hate             + 75%
03-04     Dislike          + 50%
05-06     Aloof            + 25%
07-08     Sympathetic      - 30%
09-11     Interested       - 40%
12-14     Playful          - 50%
15-16     Capacious        - 60%
17-18     Fondness         - 70%
 19       Infatuation      - 80%
 20       Passionate       - 90%

TABLE 11: Disposition Modifier To Inclination

Die
Roll      Disposition  Mod.
01-02     Angry         -3
03-04     Jealous       -2
05-07     Pensive       -1
08-10     Tired          0
11-13     Tender        +1
14-15     Excited       +2
16-17     Ardent        +3
18-19     Erotic        +5
 20       Obsessed      +6

TABLE 12: Charisma of Client Modifier to Inclination

Charisma  Mod.
 0-12      0
13-16     +1
 17       +2
 18       +3

TABLE 13: Racial Multipliers to Cost

Race           Multiplier
Human             1.0
Elven             5.0
Half-Elven        2.5
Dwarven           3.0
Halfling          4.0
Orchish           0.5
Half-Orchish      0.7
Exotic (Other)    8.0

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    FILLING THE HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE


             The information for this section is taken from
        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

     A brothel, bawdy house, whore house, relaxation emporium, or 
whatever the name are places where a person may go for an evening of 
entertainment (so to speak).

     A brothel comes in three sizes:    Size      Employees
                                        Small        4d4
                                        Medium       6d6
                                        Large       8d8

     In addition to the regular employees listed above, there will be a 
number of amateurs who use a house as a base. They will usually average 
50% of the regular staff of that house. There will usually be a small 
number of girls in training, frequently working as maids for the top 
regulars. They will number approximately 25% of the regulars - these 
girls do not yet work with the customers.

     As Table 1 shows, there are four classes of brothels. The DM can 
roll randomly or choose. Slavery is banned in most places, but not all; 
so it is included in the table.

TABLE 1: Brothel Classes

Die
Roll      Class
01-03     Fine
04-12     Normal
13-16     Low
17-20     Slave

     House amateurs usually receive about one-half the going rate; one 
does not find amateurs on a slave house. The racial mix in the average 
house of its class is given on Table 2; one may either specify the race 
of the girl involved (as in the rules in the prostitute random 
generator), or roll dice (1d100) for each girl to see who's available.

TABLE 2: Races Found in Different Classes

Race              Fine    Normal   Low    Slave
Human             01-62   01-67   01-70   01-60
Elven             63-70   68-70    ---    61-64
Half-Elven        71-82   71-79   71-75   65-74
Dwarven           83-84    80      ---     75
Halfling           85      81      ---     76
Orchish           86-88   82-87   76-84   77-84
Half-Orchish      89-97   88-99   85-00   85-95
Exotic (Other)    98-00    00      ---    96-00

     Houses tend to be run by women, although some are managed by men 
(occasionally chosen by the girls, frequently simply the "boss" who has 
hired them). If run by a woman, she is usually (80%) a high rank 
courtesan herself, and will occasionally be available to preferred 
(wealthy - and I do mean filthy, stinkin' rich) customers.
     There are usually some additional costs involved in patronizing a 
courtesan in such an establishment. Although entertainment is usually 
provided at no extra cost in the major houses, a character should 
expect to spend the price of the girl's meal and alcoholic beverages. 
If a character should wish to spend the entire night with the lady of 
his choice, the cost increase by 50%. This does, of course, provide one 
with a room for the night as well as a cuddly bed companion. If a man 
is dealing with one of the girls who work on the street, there is a 25% 
surcharge to provide a room, unless the customer has nearby (within 2 
to 3 blocks at the farthest) quarters.
     Time spent in a house can be as much as 4 to 6 hours (if not 
overnight). With one of the street girls, an interlude should occupy 
about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
     The chance of a prostitute having a disease is less based on the 
class of a house in which the girl works. The higher the class of the 
house, the better health care the girls receive, and the lower the 
chances of infection.
     In a Normal house, there is a -5% modifier to the chance of the 
girl being infected. In a Fine house, there is a -10%  modifier to the 
chance of the girl being infected. In a Slave house, there is a -15% 
modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. This is high because 
most slavers consider losing income or valuable property to disease 
uneconomical. With the girls on the street, there is no modifier to the 
chance of the girl being infected.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

           CASE: THE BLUE TAVERN (ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE)

             The information for this section is taken from
        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)

                            The Blue Tavern
                      (Entertainment and pleasure)

OWNER: Kinalla Silkskin (STR: 9, DEX: 9, CON: 15, INT: 12, WIS: 9, CHA:=20
12) was once considered the most beautiful and accomplished courtesan=20
in the city (40 years ago). She is still attractive (particularly for=20
the generic set), and will occasionally entertain a customer. Black-
haired (with the help of a good hairdresser), black-eyed, and still=20
slender, she has a good business mind, and succeed in purchasing the=20
Blue Lantern from its former madame some 20 years ago; the quality and=20
name of the establishment have increased under her management.

HOURS: 24 hours a day.

EXTERIOR: A three-story building that is slightly inset from the street=20
proper. It has a wide opening centered on the ground floor, above which=20
hangs a large lantern which glows blue (the color is intense enough to=20
be easily distinguished even in full daylight). There is an ally on the=20
south side  of the building, a walled garden in the rear, and a row of=20
small shops to the immediate north.

INTERIOR: Immediately inside the opening is a spacious room dominated=20
by a fountain which sprays a lightly scented blue liquid into the air=20
above the wide basin. Three elaborately carved screens block the view=20
of the other exits from this room.
     Behind the screen to the left is a lounge (to handle the musicians=20
and entertainers who perform in the theater). A hall leads to the wings=20
of the theater, and to a dressing room. To the right is a large office,=20
where the accounting and management personnel work. It is seldom=20
occupied after about 6:00 PM, and is almost always locked, even during=20
normal business hours.
     The opening behind the third screen leads to a room with a wide=20
marble staircase. To the left is the"Hall of Beauty".. where many fair=20
flowers wait to be plucked. There are usually 4d4 girls lounging about=20
here, in various states of revealment. A wide opening leads to the=20
entertainment area, where wine and song are provided (if you came=20
through the Hall, you already have the women). The theater area is two=20
stories, and has a large stage with a runway and an orchestra pit. A=20
long bar in the rear dispenses alcoholic beverages of many kinds.=20
Meals may be ordered from the kitchen. Most of the food supplies for=20
both the girls and the customers are stored in the pantry off the=20
kitchen.
     The remainder of the house is devoted to living (and working)=20
quarters for the regular girls. The smaller rooms on the second and=20
third floors are used for the transient entertainment of clients. The=20
larger rooms area housing for the regulars. Kinalla has a suite on the=20
third floor, with a circular iron staircase giving access to both the=20
garden and the bar.

PRICE RANGE: As per the girl's qualifications.

QUALITY: This house is Fine, and of medium size.

OUTSTANDING ITEMS: There is young newcomer, Bianca (STR: 8, DEX: 10,
CON: 18, INT: 9, WIS: 7, CHA: 15), who has made quite a splash with the
customers. She is the runaway daughter of a noble family and is a
neutral courtesan. She has altered her name and dyed her hair to change
her appearance.

CASH BOX: The money gained in the theater-bar is kept in a wooden=20
coffer stashed under the curved end of the bar. The girls are=20
responsible for collecting their own earnings, and are expected to pay=20
one-quarter to the house (if Kinalla discovers a girl is cheating on=20
the amounts, she simply requests her to leave and not return; Kinalla=20
does not believe in violence).

OCCUPANTS:

Staff: Kinalla, Bianca, and 17 other girls (11 of whom split the large=20
rooms used for residence). There are 12 part-timers, 3 maidens-in-=20
training, and various ancillary service personnel (none of whom reside=20
in the house). The bouncer, Kethelas (STR: 17, DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT:=20
10, WIS: 7, CHA: 10), a bull of a man with sufficient physical power to=20
toss an unruly customer lightly over the garden wall into the alley,=20
has worked at the Blue Lantern as long as Kinalla, and has been her=20
best friend and lover nearly that long.

Customers: Many

NPC ENCOUNTERS: A cast of thousands.

SPECIAL OPTIONS: None.

SCENARIO: The Nobleman's Daughter

Player's Information: In most of the taverns of the city, the=20
disappearance of Lady Byelaya Tainley some three months ago caused many=20
whispers. She still has not been located, and no ransom note has been=20
received by her family. Descriptions of the 16 year old girl (very=20
beautiful and highly attractive, medium height, slender, blonde hair,=20
blue eyes) have been nosed about, and the family is offering a reward=20
of 1,000 silver pieces for news of her. The girl was always known as a=20
loner by the other maidens of the high, rich quarter. She had only one=20
close friend - Cortina de la Riis.

DM's Notes: Byelaya Tainley has had dreams of being a hetaera (a very=20
high class courtesan) since she heard, as young girl, a very romantic=20
story in which the heroine was a courtesan (she had confided these=20
dreams to no one, not even her closet friend). Three months ago, she=20
dyed her hair brown, changed her name to Bianca, and ran away from=20
home. She began working at the Blue Lantern. No one at the house knows=20
her origins, and certainly no one suspects she is the daughter of a=20
noble house. Bianca (byelaya - both names mean "white") is a natural=20
courtesan - she enjoys men, and men definitely enjoy her. She has that=20
indefinable quality of innocence that is irresistible. She has rapidly=20
progressed, in the little time she has been at the Blue Lantern, from a=20
very green novice to a competent intermediate.
     A few weeks ago, Cortina de la Riis, Byelaya's only close friend=20
among the girls of the rich section, was traveling to her voice lessons=20
and spotted a young girl with brown hair who closely resembled Byelaya=20
(Bianca had gone out to do a little shopping, and was not wearing her=20
veil) except for the hair color. Cortina has worried about Byelaya=20
since her disappearance, and has asked her brother Thomas to check out=20
the girl she spotted circumspectly. Thomas is looking around for a=20
group to do some investigating on this matter, and there is a chance he=20
may choose the player-characters to do the job.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    ENCOUNTER NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS

                                Specific

Kuber Hasbin: Note that the information for this section is taken from=20
The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) page L-2.
     Kuber lives and works in the deepest wilds of the city. His house=20
includes a clinic in which he treats anyone who walks in the door (he=20
has even been known to make house calls!), regardless of financial=20
status (there ain't none in his part of town). Kuber doesn't practice=20
healing for the love of mankind (or any other race, for that matter).=20
He is totally interested in the spectrum of disease available in the=20
area. At times he has been heard to comment that he has "seen diseases=20
I would not have believed it possible for a person to contract. With=20
what this one man had, he should have been dead 5 years ago!" Kuber's=20
house is given an unobtrusive guard by the Thieves' Guild, who=20
appreciate the work he is doing, whatever his motivation. Anyone in the=20
quarter can give directions to Kuber's House.

                                General

Midwife: This encounter is with a solitary female, whose job it is to=20
deliver babies. The midwife will be returning from a delivery or going=20
to one (in which case she will be in a hurry).
     She will only react in a friendly manner if she is approached with=20
great caution. She will flee on an adjusted reaction score of 55 or=20
less, and on a score of 25 or less she seek the help of a patrol to=20
apprehend the offenders who "scared" her (whether they actually did or=20
not).
     There is a 20% chance that the midwife will possess useful=20
information, which she will freely divulge to party members if she is=20
befriended first. She will be offended by an offer to pay her for what=20
she knows.

Prostitute: NOTE that this encounter was taking from an old adventure=20
and contradicts other prostitute information that is found in this=20
guide.
     This encounter is a one or more women (can be men for women=20
adventurers). The DM must decide the number relative to population,=20
law, underworld activity, etc..
     A prostitute will be somewhat annoying trying to convince her prey=20
that she is desirable. If she succeeds, her fee is usually between 20=20
and 100 SP.
     There is a 75% chance that a prostitute will possess valuable=20
information. Such information requires a fee of course. There is also a=20
25% chance that the prostitute has a disease (natural or magical).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       A NEW LOOK AT OLD MONSTERS


     Given the multitude of items in this guide, the old monsters that=20
habit a campaign world can be rediscovered or a new light. Below is a=20
list of monsters that are or can be sensual, sexual, and seductive in=20
nature.

Monster        2nd Edition                   1st Edition         page
Alu-demon      ---------                     Monster Manual II   35
Doppleganger   Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    29
Dryad          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    35
Foxwoman       Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual II   80
Harpy          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    51
Kelpie         Monstrous Compendium 2        Fiend Folio         55
Lamia          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    59
Lamia Noble    Monstrous Compendium 2        Fiend Folio         59
Medusa         Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    66
Nereid         Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual II   95
Nixie          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    74
Nymph          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    74
Penaggalan     ---------                     Fiend Folio         71
Satyr          Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    85
Sirine         ---------                     Monster Manual II  109
Succubus       ---------                     Monster Manual I    18
Sylph          Monstrous Compendium 2        Monster Manual I    93
Unicorn        Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    98
Vampire        Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual I    99
Wolfwere       Monstrous Compendium 1        Monster Manual II  127

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                     PORNO PERIODICALS OF HUMANOIDS


     Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to=20
purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can=20
come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine=20
stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and=20
the following system gives a periodical a name:

1) Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical.=20
The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred=20
language of the race.

2) To get the name of the periodical:

     - Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than=20
       once if desired.

     - Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.

     Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters.=20
But this isn't good enough for the old DM, so he rolls for another=20
adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1=20
reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling=20
Hooters of Orcs.


TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators

Die                       Die
Roll  Humanoid            Roll  Humanoid
  2   Bugbear              12   Drow Elf
  3   Gully Dwarf          13   Ettin
  4   Gnoll                14   Goblin
  5   Hag                  15   Half-Orc
  6   Harpy                16   Human
  7   Hill Giant           17   Hobgoblin
  8   Kobold               18   Lizard Man
  9   Mongrelman           19   Orc
 10   Ogre                 20   Troglodyte
 11   Were-Rat


TABLE 2: Adjectives

Die
Roll  Adjective           Roll  Adjective           Roll  Adjective
  1   Arousing             11   Big                  21   Delectable
  2   Erotic               12   Fleshly              22   Greasy
  3   Hard                 13   Hefty                23   Hors d'oeuvre
  4   Jiggling             14   Juicy                24   Large
  5   Luscious             15   Moist                25   Oily
  6   Profuse              16   Savory               26   Scrumptious
  7   Sensual              17   Slimy                27   Sticky
  8   Stimulating          18   Succulent            28   Sumptuous
  9   Swollen              19   Tantalizing          29   Tender
 10   Titillating          20   Voluptuous           30   Warted


TABLE 3: Nouns

Roll  Noun                Roll  Noun
  1   Balls                11   Bolas
  2   Butts                12   Caves
  3   Clubs                13   Dungeons
  4   Holes                14   Hooters
  5  Jugs                  15   Knockers
  6  Lingerie              16   Mounds
  7  Pits                  17   Rods
  8  Staves                18   Strongholds
  9  Stuff                 19   Swords
 10  Wands of Wonder       20   Wonkers

     A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum,=20
advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary=20
created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by=20
scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they=20
usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key=20
for success with this system is for the DM to think. How intelligent=20
are the authors?  What resources do they possess? What is believable=20
and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to=20
stimulate creative thought in the DM.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             AN ABYSS LEVEL

     The smells of incense, perfume, and oily naked body's are thick in=20
the air as you enter this Abyssal layer. The layer itself encompasses a=20
massive palace that stretches far and wide, beyond the imagination.=20
This layer, is the home of the unholy Queen of all Succubi and Incubi,=20
Silviana. Being the demon princess of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy this layer=20
is filled with countless thousands upon thousands of succubi and incubi=20
engrossed with every conceivable sexual act. The halls of this palace=20
are all lined with beautiful slaves whose bodies have been painted=20
gold, and their sexual organs made to be on display for all to see as=20
the slaves are forced to stand in erotic positions, living statues for=20
their demon princess. This plane gives new meaning to the idea of=20
torturous pleasure, as the lust and desires of any slave or demon upon=20
this plane will rarely, if ever, go satisfied for any significant=20
period of time. Demons and monstrosities populate this plane by the=20
thousands, but each one is always deceptively beautiful, their purpose=20
being to seduce all intruders and slaves into their service. The=20
pheromones that permeate this layer are such that any mortal who enters=20
must make a save verses poison each hour at -3, or their lustful desire=20
will become so strong that they will stop what they are doing and race=20
to join the nearest orgy within the layer (since they are so many going=20
on all the time, one shouldn't be far). Characters with a high wisdom=20
or willpower will get certain bonuses against the save, at the DM's=20
discretion.
     It is rumored that demons and daemons from all over frequent this=20
layer constantly when they have a chance to pursue personal pleasures.


Silviana
Demon Prince(ess) of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy
Queen of Succubi and Incubi
Lesser God(dess)

Movement: 12"
AC: -5
HD: 16 (69 hit points)
THACO: 5
Number of Attacks: 1
Damage per attack: special
Special Attacks: see below
Special Defences: see below
Magic Resistance: 50%
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Symbol: figurines of men and women in erotic positions
Plane: the Abyss (the Layer of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy)
Psionics: nil
X.P.: (use charts in DMG to calculate experiance)
Str: 18  Dex: 20  Con: 23  Int: 21  Wis: 16  Cha: 25 Com: 30

     The Queen of this layer herself will always appear in a form that=20
can spark the most wanton abandon of lust and sexual desire possible in=20
her victims minds. However her true form is slightly different. Being=20
the fact that she represents all spheres of immoral sexual desire, the=20
Queen is, in her true form, a bisexual hermaphrodite. She is really=20
neither female or male, but both, however because from the known=20
accounts by sages and wizards who have some knowledge of Silviana, she=20
is referred to as a female because she has appeared as one more often=20
than a male by most tales. Even in her true form her aura of lust and=20
sex is enough to cause any man or woman to have hard problems=20
controlling their sexual desire for Silviana.
     Silviana is the queen of all Succubi and Incubi, and her home=20
plane is a palace filled with them, all constantly in the acts of=20
immortal sex. When confronting victims or intruders, Silviana always=20
takes on the guise of an extremely beautiful woman (or man) that brings=20
out the most possible desire in her victims. Her true form is no less=20
beautiful. Being a hermaphrodite, Silviana has soft creamy skin, long=20
golden hair, and sky blue eyes. Silviana's body is a perfect meld of=20
male and female quality's, almost to the point where, except for the=20
very desirably sized and shaped sex organs, one might be mistaken that=20
Silviana is simply a masculine looking female. When confronting a=20
victim, Silviana will switch to either, only her female characteristics=20
or her male characteristics. Anyone who gazes upon Silviana when in=20
either form, must make an automatic save verses petrifaction (at -3, -6=20
if on the home plane of the demon) or be overcome by such a massive=20
amount of sexual desire that they will drop all they are doing and=20
immediately prostrate themselves naked before her/him. Note: if a=20
character in the party has expressed they do not have a sexual desire=20
for Silviana's present choice of form (stated at the time of the save,=20
DM's keep record of what they say) they must  (still make a normal=20
save, no minus). Silviana's sexual pheromones are so powerful that they=20
can alter the personality and characteristics of a character to desire=20
to engage in sex that would otherwise be not normal for them! =20
Appropriate bonus's (up to the DM) can be awarded to characters who=20
have expressed characteristics that might be helpful in combating=20
Silviana's charm.
     When Silviana physically attacks (she rely's more on her charm=20
than actually having to attack someone) she will attempt to strike=20
someone, anyone so struck will be drained of one level (including all=20
hit points gained for that level, spells, etc.). If Silviana has=20
charmed someone and decides to attack them, she will kiss them. Her=20
kiss, being exceptionally deadly, will drain 3 levels from a victim.=20
Anyone who is completely drained by Silviana is doomed to serve as a=20
pleasure slave for her, for all eternity.
     Silviana can summon 2-8 Succubi (Incubi) at will, or 1-4 of any=20
other type of demon. As for her relations with other demon lords and=20
princes, they remain neutral in all situations being the fact that all=20
the other lords like spending their vacations on her plane...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           ADVENTURING IDEAS

                             The Love Boat

     The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise=20
ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On=20
the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc",=20
Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people=20
and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are=20
presented in the guide.

                          Dog Man Needs a Date

     An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the=20
affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role-
playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to=20
act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of=20
the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who=20
could be really angry.

                                 Twins

     A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following=20
day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could=20
lead to nice effects.

                            Paternity Suite

     After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male=20
character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he=20
was promiscuous with only a few months ago.

                          Vampire & Seduction

     The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an=20
inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man=20
dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every=20
time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys=20
and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is=20
something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (DM=20
should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a=20
vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).
     Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her=20
away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister,=20
who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She=20
tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being=20
seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In=20
any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.
     He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town. There is=20
nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a=20
pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his=20
peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for=20
business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.
     His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black=20
velvet curtains, etc). He has a private sanctuary inn his basement,=20
the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or=20
enchanted in any way appropriate to the party). He supposedly has a=20
chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various=20
vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing=20
people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into=20
slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.
     The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away=20
from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory=20
whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say=20
yes, but make some things contradict this.
     The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil=20
artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of=20
the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks. Make him=20
dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious=20
whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire=20
victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not=20
a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically=20
good nature.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

               HAS ANYONE PLAYED A HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTER?


                    "I've never played one, but..."

    "We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay."

The following is an essay compiled from a discussion on the topic. many=20
points of view went into this essay. Also, the validity of statements=20
made is not known.

     The "Army of Lovers" (i.e. exclusively homosexual comapny of=20
soldiers) was something out of the ancient Greek city-states. There was=20
one one city-state, Thebes, where being gay was a "requirement" if you=20
wished to become a soldier. This was not a strict requirement, but was=20
considered highly advantageous. It was reported to be (by writers in=20
other city states) to be one of the most effective armies at the time.=20
The unit was called the Thebian Sacred Band, and they served under=20
Alexander. They worked in buddy teams: a spear-men and a shield man.=20
They were reknown for their extreme closeness, fierceness, and=20
efficiency in battle (esp. if their lover was killed!)
     Note, that in Sparta, all male children were raised up by the=20
state, trained to be soldiers, the menial work was left to the=20
"helotas" (slaves). They had male companionship for most of the time,=20
so that is why their sexual interests were different. In Sparta,=20
homosexuality was accepted, but not like it was in Thebes. Spartans had=20
more of a Roman respect for women.
     That's not to say that romantic involvement, or even long-term=20
relationships weren't common between soldiers in the other city-states.=20
It had a lot to do with the inequality of women, and their place, in=20
ancient Greek society. In ancient Greece, women were considered=20
inferior to men. Not quite (but almost) property. Certainly not=20
something a person would want to spend lots of quality time with. The=20
most common opinion of women was that they wree good for one thing -=20
having babies. If a man had to have sex for that, well, that's one of=20
the things a dutiful hisband did. But if you wanted a relationship,=20
passionate sex, someone you could talk with afterwards, men were where=20
it was at (although this is a bit exaggerated).
     It was common practice in upper-crust Athenian society for young=20
boys to be "taken in" by an older gentleman, who would become the=20
youth's mentor and also lover. This was considered a healthy=20
upbringing.
     From what remained of the Greek literature, it is obvious that=20
women were more often that subject of male sexual desire, than men.=20
After all, it was a women (Helena) the Spartans fought for a couple of=20
decades with the Trojans, according to Homeros. Odesseus and his=20
soldiers were tempted several times by females, on his journey to home,=20
and it was a female (his wife) he wanted to return so badly, and this=20
female was courted by many - noble - males, and he got so mad when he=20
saw this that he wiped out all those males because of one female.
     Now, in Rome thigns were not quite the same. The Romans held a=20
similar low opinion of women. Not quite as low, but it was down there.=20
Women were considered eminently suitable for sex. Discussion,=20
companionship, camaraderie, wree all still male-oriented, but women=20
were considered capable of satisfying the purely physical needs. That's=20
not to say that there was anything wrong with having sex with a man. As=20
long as you were on top. Screwing a guy was manly; being screwed was=20
effeminate, shameful. Caesar came under fire several times, not because=20
of his numerous affairs with men, but because he liked to be on the=20
bottom. However, although it is true that women had their strict rule=20
in the society, they were not supposed to mingle in politics, and so=20
on. But those that read "Antigone" from Sophokles will see that they=20
were not thought of as domestic animals. Or even worse, women were=20
considered property to be used for the reason of reproduction and=20
personal gain for a family.
     Most Romans were very touchy on the issue of homosexuality. If one=20
wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright as long as one were a closet=20
homosexual. If one were open, one could pretty mush kiss any chance of=20
a political life good bye! Nero was the Emperor, and could crush his=20
enemies. If he wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright cause he had=20
power. Romans believed that men should have women, and the women should=20
be subservient to men. If one wanted to have another man, go ahead,=20
just don't tell anyone!
     It wasn't brought up in Glory of Rome, but actually Julius=20
Caesar's Tenth Legion had a slight reputation for being Caesar's=20
"favorite" legion.
     Both societies were very male oriented, which is why there is=20
little writing about lesbians at the time (though it was there).
     In a typical European setting, homosexuality would certainly be=20
frowned upon. This does not, of course, mean that there aren't any=20
homosexuals running around - just that they are secretive, repressed,=20
etc..
     One can't deny that homosexuality was widespread before the=20
advent of Christianity, but it was considered as an alternative only,=20
not the necssarily the way. In any case, there is no need to make an=20
issue with homosexuality in a campaign, but having carious sexual=20
orientations can really make for interesting adventures.
     For example, a nobleman's gay lover vanishes or is captured -=20
perhaps to be used against him. So he hires a group of discreet=20
adventures to deal with the situation.
     In the Thieves' World books, there are a group of mercenaries=20
known as "Sacred Banders". They appear to be male couples who are=20
excellent fighting teams (it is assumed that they shared the same=20
tents, and did certain things... but they didn't go into it). They are=20
supposedly based on some historical Athenian units, or some such thing.
     On one campaign world, which has evolved to cover many continents=20
and cultures, there is a whole spectrum of secual attitudes. In some=20
cultures, homosecuality is not frowned upon, and is indeed considered=20
to be normal. There is even an island based upon an Aztec legend where=20
there are only women. They are ruled by priestesses who is divinely=20
enabled to brew a potion which will impregnate a woman.
     One adventuring party spent a long time travelling with a pirate=20
named Dalin and first mate, Shandar. The two guys were clearly best=20
friends who had been adventuring together for many years. The party was=20
always impressed with how close they were. The group never even=20
suspected the truth.
     And not a small exert about a strange character:

     "Hendrix is an old, ugly, gnome illusionist. He is lawful=20
evil, and his goal is to have sex with as many different people/things=20
as possible. He wants them willing and alive, but he'll take them by=20
force if necessary. He's also fond of guile.
     He has a ring of polymorph self and a couple of other trinkets=20
he's acquired along the way. Whenever he starts a new adventure he=20
joins the adventuring party in disguise. Most of the disguises are=20
helped out by his trinkets, but some of them aren't even plausible.=20
Yet, somehow they keep getting accepted, though. Some examples are=20
Dorien Wolfride a female halfling ranger, Noli of Clan Ironfoots male=20
swarf wizard (he can't cast spells but fakes it), Huneysuckle=20
Rapevictimson a male half-orc paladin.
     Hendrix is actually doing quite well in his mission.=20
Unfortunately, the other adventurers are rabid heterosexuals, so=20
Hendrix has only attmepted hetero seduction. He can't wait to see their=20
faces when he's found out."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    PLOTS FOR HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTERS

The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife

     Have some important married person (maybe nobility) fall in love=20
with one of the characters. This should be a "from afar" affection=20
originally. Then when the man's wife finds out about it, she could do a=20
couple things. First, try to have the character killed off, so she can=20
keep her husband. Or, she could try to frame the character as being a=20
succubus (or similar) in disguise. Using the theory that her husband=20
COULDN'T be gay, since he married her, hence the character must be=20
using magic or something. Either way, when the wife first begins this=20
stuff, the character should be unaware of the man's feelings, and be=20
tasked with finding out what the lady has against him (the whole party=20
could be affected too).
     A variant of this could be a gay couple, where one falls for the=20
character and the other wants the PC dead.

Saying No

     A very beautiful women begins making appearances (could be an=20
adventurer) when the party is in town. Initially, she's just friendly=20
towards the party, then little by little it becomes apparent that she's=20
interested in the homosexual. One option, the party must tell her and=20
convince her she's got no chance with him. The character could tell=20
her, and who knows how she'll react when she finds out. Probably,=20
initial rage or disgust, but up to this point, the party should have=20
been getting the impression that she's really a very=20
nice/important/heroic person.
     This could lead to further role-playing encounters as the party=20
tries to keep her as a friend.

Land of Fairies, Literally

     The party enters a foreign city where homosexual is the norm. The=20
entire party is viewed with disgust (except the gay character, and he=20
is looked down upon for befriending the "straights", said with disgust=20
by all NPCs in the town).
     A chance for excellent role-playing encounters for all concerned.

Reverse Rape

     The character could be raped by some powerful/important woman.=20
Perhaps a magic-user, who could have some nasty original spells,=20
specifically for torturing the guy. Then it becomes the party's "test=20
of friendship to hunt the offender down and kill her. One would hope=20
they would do no different if it was a female character who was raped=20
by a man.

Evil of Homosexuality

     Have the party enter a city/dominion/area where homosexuality is=20
suddenly being persecuted to the extreme (a la Spanish Inquisition).=20
The local ruler has outlawed it, the church too, all the major powers=20
have decide that it is the root of all evil and the reason their=20
city/dominion is undergoing economic hardship (which is just an excuse=20
to cover the results of their own corruption). Homosexuals are being=20
burned at the stake etc...
     The homosexual party member might well feel the need to combat=20
this persecution, and if powerful enough, be the champion of local=20
homosexuals. If he/she is stupid enough to confront the ruling elite, a=20
great chase scene can be had, but the party should escape. Now the=20
possibilities for a lengthy campaign where the homosexual character=20
(With or without the aid of the rest of the characters) can form a=20
underground resistance movement. If the character isn't that willing to=20
help out, an old lover can run into him/her on the street and threaten=20
to expose them if they don't help (another way would be to have the=20
character watch as an old lover is burnt at the stake, and character=20
should be resolved to help at that sight).
     So, the party gets embroiled in all kinds of planning, raids,=20
rescues, waging the battle for the hearts and minds of the public,=20
maybe even an assassination or three if that's how you're players are.=20
Meanwhile they are pursued an harassed with increasing strength until=20
the climax. Perhaps one of the city/dominion leaders is a really a=20
homosexual, and the party convinces them to confess in front of the=20
people, who knows?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    OTHER RELATED READING MATERIALS

The Geisya, DRAGON issue #121  - A special NPC class that entertains=20
adventurers the oriental way.

Romance and Adventure!, DRAGON issue #161 - How romance can be=20
incorporated into an AD&D campaign.

Human Voices, DRAGON issue #177 - A love story of the sea.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           A FEW GOOD STORIES

One Funny Occurrence ---

     One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided=20
companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his=20
bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes=20
game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it=20
lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end. When he woke up, he=20
found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.
     It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out=20
potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also=20
turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.
     Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight=20
lich!!!

                                                  --- Larry

Learning About True Love ---

     Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a=20
quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure. The first part of the=20
quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo=20
that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an=20
ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true=20
love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of=20
extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a=20
long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry=20
him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a=20
duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First=20
he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the=20
bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of=20
cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just=20
left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes=20
back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that=20
Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and=20
gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of=20
water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...
     When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns=20
says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus=20
and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had=20
heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found=20
Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had=20
happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking=20
pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many=20
more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario=20
had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo,=20
because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo=20
roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral=20
of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging=20
creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.
     NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising=20
their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less=20
forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when=20
she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough=20
to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of=20
eating raw meat.

                                                  --- John Daniel

Prostitutes Are Nasty ---

     Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a=20
pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided=20
when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood.=20
The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were=20
searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent=20
merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The=20
trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring=20
leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none=20
of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers=20
coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted=20
nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be=20
respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and=20
found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our=20
cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area)=20
basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching=20
for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of=20
course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the=20
person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.
     Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal,=20
rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. Altogether, we=20
were hounded by:
     a) the criminal's pals
     b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and=20
        wanted her for their own
     c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighters
        child (They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at=20
        least HE says so...)
     d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or=20
        financial reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies
     Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're=20
sort of hero's now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a=20
life adventurers leave.
     THE MORALE: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town=20
filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.

                                                  --- Toa the monk

A Cleric's Penance ---

     Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites=20
like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually had=20
severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a cleric,=20
the group stayed clear of these opportunities.
     This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of=20
our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric=20
began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his=20
deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take=20
it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after=20
intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was=20
followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra=20
condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding=20
(usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large=20
supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change=20
three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all=20
steered clear of barmaids after that!

                                                  --- Mario R. Borelli

A Barbarian's Boo-Boo ---

     Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking=20
for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she=20
wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the=20
male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidently spilled some=20
perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the=20
elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden=20
uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for=20
about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was=20
laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside=20
the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone=20
stopped laughing (and who wouldn't with a low level barbarian and a=20
mid-level mage going at it) the DM had asked questions and rolled his=20
dice and wouldn't ya just know that the mage got pregnant (snicker).
     What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that=20
the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the=20
mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).
     The DM used The Complete Guide to AD&D Sex to make the whole tower=20
and adventure. The DM kept flippin' through and referring to the guide.

                                                   --- Xandar

Precise Constitution Points ---

     I'd like to tell you about my character (at least, the one for=20
whom this guide is good, since I'm playing at least two characters at=20
any given moment, but that's another story). He is an Elf fighter/bard=20
that due to becoming undead and being resurrected lost 1 Constitution=20
point from his original 11. He asked to return to life (you won't=20
believe it) because he fell in love with a Druid. Due to his chaotic=20
nature, he did some nasty things later (like tempting the police-chief=20
for a gain of about 300 gold pieces...) and had a lover-fight with the=20
druid, but as he apologized to her and did everything he could to=20
please her - they are back together again, and then what? Just as we=20
leave the city, towards the castle that contains a sword and a horse=20
dedicated for the paladin in out party by his god, we meet three(!)=20
meduses!!!! And guess who's becoming a stone on the spot? Yes, me!!! =20
(The other me is a holly-ghost, an undead lawful-good priest of the God=20
of the Sun (I know it sounds crazy) and he is protected by him, so he=20
only got paralyzed in another meduse attack). However, one of my best=20
friends, a vampire magic user (would you please repeat THAT???!!!)=20
succeeded in using him vampiric abilities and use a higher level=20
vampire mage to cast stone-to-flesh on me. He did that three times,=20
=91cause I failed the system shock twice... So, and here we get to our=20
point, I'm left with a Constitution of 7!!! (I still have a Dexterity=20
of 19 and Strength of 17, but I LOVE having sex!!!) ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!! =20
Since my DM makes me, as a bard, write and sing REAL songs for my=20
spells (I need no spell-books or material components - just a suitable=20
song), I am announcing my next spell-song, which I hope to complete by=20
next session: Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On!

                                                  --- Luwain

A Cleric's Vow ---

     I've been in a party with a very complex character. He was a=20
powerful cleric, who had entered clerichood as a sort of excape from=20
his sexuality. He took a vow of chastity of his own accord (his deity=20
certainly didnt' care so long as he was a good, faithful cleric).
     Once he was put into no win/no win situation. The only person who=20
could help him was a evil female mage who found him, and his resistance=20
to her many charm, very appealing. Needless to say, the cleric, in=20
order to achieve the good and righteous end, offered himself up.
     He stills plays in my world, and now had the terrible guilt (which=20
I use to my advantage) about his poor, illegitamite shild, who being=20
raised by an evil mother, may come back to haunt old dad some day.  He=20
is actually an excellent character and is very clever when around those=20
hearty fighters going out on the town.... you know the type. From a=20
DMing perspective, I'd have to say, there's not much difference... it's=20
all in how good a roleplayer they are!

                                                  --- Bertnof

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                              SPECIAL THANKS

A.C. (bitnet address: AC001@FREENET.CARLETON.CA) for his Seducer:=20
Wizard Kit. Also, the following spells: Flash, Layla's Good Morning=20
Kiss, Protection From Intoxication, Transfer Charm, Kiss of=20
Intoxication, Stanza's Diseased Kiss, Angel's Negation, Layla's Morning=20
After Kiss, Layla's Seductive Impersonation, Layla's Sexy Kiss of=20
Insanity, Power Word, Strip, Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease, Stanza's=20
Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Beautification, Stanza's Certain=20
Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Seductive Shapechange, Stanza's Kiss=20
of Immortal Despair.

Adelheyde (MFASSBEN@UCS.INDIANA.EDU) for his very intriguing Become=20
Phantasmal Lover spell.

Larry Barthel (bitnet address: BARTHELM@UMNMOR.BITNET) & his game group=20
for being the first to send pages and pages of a great variety of ideas=20
that were extremely useful in provoking creative elements to the guide.=20
Also, Presto and Nyssa (other bitnet address: BARTHELM@CAA.MRS.UMN.EDU)=20
for their little story of an adventure that is used in this guide.

Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm (internet address:=20
ECZ5TAN@MVERSUSOAC.UCLA.EDU) and his wife for the addition of TTC in=20
the rules. Also, telling me about the untie cantrip which is found in=20
Unearthed Arcana. Suggestions for the spells Voyeur, Know Sexual=20
Preference, Find Mate, Pillow Talk, and Engorge. Also, the listing of=20
the spell Animal Magnetism. And sending the entire spell Summon=20
Cissaldan. Plus, making the magic item section possible with ideas for=20
the Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy, Ring Of The Bulls, Ring of=20
Perversion (suggested ring of lust), Sheet of Useful Toys (suggested=20
robe of useful things), Breast Plate +1, Perfume/Musk of Attraction,=20
Figurine of the Willing WonTon, Wand of Vibration,Everful Baby Bottle,=20
and Gem of the Vo Yure. Even more thanks for the first draft of the=20
bitch rule which was made and used by his wife's chaotic mage Salina,=20
and appears here do to her creativity. Plus, the background of Salina=20
that appeared with The Bitch Rule. Also, the invention of experimental=20
arrows which spawned the conversion to Cupid's arrows which ended up in=20
their own section. Finally, he came up with all the spell ideas that=20
appear in the "Spells for the Mother" section.

Wade for his humorous ideas in the spell section that added a little=20
something. Plus, his tuna disease.

John "Nightwind" Boelter (bitnet address: BOELTER3945@ISCSVAX.UNI.EDU)=20
for informing me of overlooked flaws in the rules, suggestions for each=20
part to make it mucho better, the first draft of the contracting=20
disease system, and other very useful comments.

Bolt A.K.A. Drrainbo for his help in making the Gigolo Bard Kit.

Mario R. Borelli (bitnet address: MARIO.R.BORELLI.3@ND.EDU) and one of=20
his wonderful players for creating the following magic items: Boo-Hag=20
Goggles, Earring(s) of Androgyny, Girdle of Speedy Gestation, Jackknife=20
of Circumcision, Hourglass of Parietals, Philter of Love, Potion of=20
Aphrodisia, Potion of Potency, Phylactery of Prophylactics, Ring of=20
Sexuality Detection, Spectacles of Revealing. Also, his comrade and he=20
created the following mage spells: Arousal, Wet Dream, Divine Sexual=20
Orientation, Freudian Thoughts, Fyltar's Pheromonal Force,=20
Masturbation, Reverse Sexual Orientation, Revulsion, Seduce Undead,=20
Chastity, Constant Orgasm, Contraception, Homophobia, Neville's=20
Wandering Hand, Pornographic Glamer, Sex Slave, Obsession, Prowess,=20
Embarrassing Fetish, Reverse Gender Orientation, Conjure=20
Succubus/Incubus, Prismatic Dildo, Impregnate. Furthermore, his comrade=20
and he created the following cleric spells: Detect Venereal Disease,=20
Divine Sexual Experience, Lactation, Repair Virginity, Yemelat's=20
Orgiastic Frenzy. "On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms" section was=20
contributed by him as well. Finally, he wrote the "A cleric's penance"=20
story.

David Butler (bitnet address: DHBUTLER@MAGNUS.ACS.OHIO-STATE.EDU) for=20
his Wand of Pillows magic item.

Brandon Cope (bitnet address: A_COPEAB@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU) for his=20
remarks.

John Daniel (bitnet address: C548285@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU) the greatest=20
article seeker, for sending via SnailMail an obscure article that=20
appeared in The White Dwarf entitled The Houri Character Class from=20
which I created the Houri Wizard Kit. Also from this article, I created=20
or modified the following spells: Fascination, Impotence, Jealously,=20
Lovesickness, Sex Change, Kiss of Sleep, Kiss of Death, Kiss of=20
Weakness, Kiss of Slavery, Blown Kiss, Hearthbreaker (my personal=20
favorite). Also, the Lipstick Of Irresistibility came from this source.=20
Plus, he referred me to a Witch article in Dragon #114 where some very=20
good spells were found which appear modified in this guide as Charm Man=20
I and Seduction I, plus he made some good modifications to said spells.=20
Furthermore, he is always making suggestions on various parts of the=20
guide. A story by him appears in the story section of the guide. A=20
small comment by him (Babies...what happens when all these adventurers=20
have sex. What are the chances of conception per time?), which spawned=20
the "Conception: What Are The Odds?" section of the guide. Plus, his=20
paternity suit adventuring idea.

Dave, compiler of the Net AD&D Players Supplement (found on a FTP site=20
somewhere on the BITNET) from which was taken the spells Davenet's=20
Seduction, Sexify/Enhance Comeliness, Slap, and Tweak/Goose which I=20
slightly changed but they basically appear as originally created.

Brian Deffinbaugh for the 1st draft of the "Porno Periodicals Of=20
Humanoids" section, which is a very useful additive to any AD&D=20
campaign. Plus, the addition of the magic item Sword of Castration=20
(suggested Sword Vorpal Weapon).

Vicki L. Domansky, a.k.a. Morgaine (bitnet address:=20
(USEREDUC%UBCMTSG.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU) for her magic-item=20
Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini.

Lisa Dusseault (bitnet address: LDUSSEAU@ZEUS.UWATERLOO.CA) for her=20
excellent work on the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome section.

Findel the Wonderer ((bitnet address: STU523086351@WSC.COLORADO.EDU)=20
Ladies' Glass Ball magic-item.

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) pages L-1 and=20
L-2 where the information for the "The House Of Ill Repute" section=20
came from. Also, page L-3 where the information for the "Case: The Blue=20
Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)" section came from. Also, for Kuber=20
Hasbin on page L-2.

Carlos Fernando (bitnet address: GMACFRF@BRUFF.BITNET) for his magic-
items Wand Of Love and Periapt Of Sexual Aides. The great contribution=20
of the following sexual insanities: Coprophilia, Exhibitionism,=20
Fetishism, Geroniophilla, Masochism, Pedophilia, Periculuphilia,=20
Pigmalionism, Sadism, Uridpsomania, Voyeurism, and Zoophilia. Finally,=20
the Sexual Tendency section.

Jason Golden (bitnet address: BEHOLDER@FAITHFUL.IMSA.EDU) for=20
questioning the magical diseases and the multiple orgasm idea. Also,=20
for requesting a system for contracting disease.

James A. Hooper (bitnet address: HOOPER2@SNYCANVA.BITNET) Penis of=20
Astounding magic-item and the spells: Skank, Bigby's Bitch Slap.

The movie Johnny Dangerously for the E.S.S. disease that I modified and=20
used.

Ronald "Greymoon" Jones (bitnet address: JONESRD@SJSUVM1.BITNET) for=20
his Frictionless Sheets magic-item.

The Judges Guild Volume I (Copyrighted 1978 Judges Guild) pages 5-6 for=20
game information on WOMEN. The inclination and vital statistic=20
information found in the prostitute random generator was taken from=20
here and modified slightly to fit into this guide.

David Kelman (bitnet address: KELMAN@NIEHS.BITNET) for his spell=20
Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes.

Sven De Kerpel (bitnet address: SDKERPEL@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE) for his=20
comments and additions on the prostitute section of the guide which=20
resulted in seven major chances to the tables to make them more=20
realistic and playable.

Steve Langton (bitnet address: SVNSI@CUNYVM.BITNET) for the=20
"Prostitutes are nasty" story in the story section.

Lonadar the Wanderer (bitnet address: LONADAR@JUDY.INDSTATE.EDU)=20
bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot of the spells,=20
adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting Brothel.

Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale of The Fellowship of the
Flying Paladin (internet address: S2909800@TECHST02.TECHNION.AC.IL) for
the Precise Constitution Points story. He created the A Bard's Sexual
Spell-Songs section and contributed "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On" to
it.

Andrew Lohmann (LOHMANN@SOCIAL.CHASS.NCSU.EDU) for his Induce Pleasure
Psionic Power.

Mark Manning (bitnet address: AIO!MARK@TRILLIAN.JSC.NASA.GOV) for his
Teeney-Weeny-Bikini magic item.

John M. Martz (bitnet address: UMARTZ@UNC.BITNET) for his criticisms on
the pregnancy rules and his clerical spells: Baltasar's Impediment,
Fertility.

Hugo M. Nijhof (bitnet address: SBBEHN@HLERUL57) who made a list of
spells from which I took and modified the spells Don Juan's
Irresistible Kiss and Vampiric Kiss.

The Anti-Paladin, Nomed the Accursed (bitnet address:
ARKOIE@JUDY.INDSTATE.EDU) for his abyss level in the section An Abyss
Level.

Nosferatu (CALLEN@B857S1.SSC.AF.MIL) for The Rack Critical Hit Chart:=20
For Men Only.

Mike Parasich (bitnet address: MNP@ALPHA.SUNQUEST.COM) for the spells
Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word:
Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.

Arron Sher (bitnet address: ARS3_CIF@UHURA.CC.ROCHESTER.EDU or
ARS3_CIF@TROI.CC.ROCHESTER.EDU), compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from
which the vampire adventuring idea came from.

Scott Spetalnik (bitnet address: (SCOTTS@FONSRV00.FONOROLA.COM) for
seeing that a bell curve wasn't used with the ability scores.

Matt Sullivan (bitnet address: SULLIVAN_M@CSVAX1.UCC.IE) for his humble
comments and recommendations that inspired a few modifications to the
rules. For the first draft of "Seduction: More Than Reaction Roles"
section, which was very creative.

Tony (internet address: ROSS@LCLARK.EDU) for the in the Homosexual
Plots section: Evil of Homosexuality.

Train, DM (internet address: SDS7966@SILVER.SDSMT.EDU) for the
following ideas in the Homosexual Plots section: The Gay Man and the
Jealous Wife; Saying No; Land of Fairies, Literally; and Reverse Rape .

TSR Hobbies, Inc. whose game made this all possible.

Mark H. Vest (MHVEST01%ULKYVM.LOUISVILLE.EDU@JHUVM.HCF.JHU.EDU) for his
magical item the Girdle of Hippolyte.

Vinnie (bitnet address: GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL) & Rahasia Mage Priestess of
Ishtar The Priestess of Love for ReErection spell idea and suggesting a
spell that simulates the Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments
coming on everything I needed help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom
modifiers for the Houri seduction rules which were implemented. For
additions to the sexual knowledge proficiency. For the "Adventuring
Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat, Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins)
that appear there. For the idea and suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool
Tub Of Love which appears in the magic-items section.

Owen Winkler (internet address: ODWST@VM2.CIS.PITT.EDU) for a first
draft of the impotence spell that I used.

Xandar (bitnet address: TH729743@PUCAL.BITNET) for his story "A
Barbarian's Boo-Boo" in the story section of the guide.

Following a discussion on the ADND-L discussion list, the section "Has=20
anyone PLayed a Homosexual Character?" was created based on the=20
following persons' comments: Andy Tremble (ANDREWT@CSD4.CSD.UWM.EDU),=20
Geoffrey WYen (SAR4106@CVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU), Akira=20
(AGULKE@WARP.MSOE.EDU), Scott Spetalnik (SCOTTS@FONSRV00.FONOROLA.COM),=20
Gyorgy Schadt (KELSO@POTE.HU), Russ Fontaine=20
(FONTAINER%NORWICH.BITNET@PUCC.PRINCETON.EDU), Andrew Hackard=20
(hackard@TENET.EDU).

After the release of the sex guide, I recieved a message from Rob=20
(BITNET ADDRESS: 267839@XAVIER.BITNET):
     What would pregnancy do to a theif's skills? What about a mage or=20
     bard?  We decided that there was no good set rule but that they=20
     would be greatly affected.
This led to a large conversation on the ADND-L about pregnancy. The=20
main contibution to the conversation was Vicki L. Domansky, Morgaine=20
(BITNET ADDRESS: USEREDUC@UBCMTSG.BITNET). Some major comments,=20
suggestions, and ideas came from John M. Martz (BITNET ADDRESS:=20
UMARTZ@UNC.BITNET). John "Nightwind" Boelter (bitnet address:=20
BOELTER3945@ISCSVAX.UNI.EDU) made some great comments, suggestions, and=20
ideas as well as Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm (internet=20
address: ECZ5TAN@MVERSUSOAC.UCLA.EDU) and his wife. Others were:
     Bob Smith (BITNET ADDRESS:SMITH@LEECA.OECN.OHIO.GOV)
     Paul Duggan (BITNET ADDRESS: DUGGAN@SIAM.ORG)
     Paul J. Cummings (BITNET ADDRESS: IBY205@URIACC.BITNET)
     Joe (BITNET ADDRESS: JDELISLE@LOYVAX.BITNET)
     Lord Baylor Ironsbane (BITNET ADDRESS: RBUTLER@UA1VM.BITNET)
     Brian David Phillips (BITNET ADDRESS: NCCUT132@TWNMOE10.BITNET)
     Philippe Goujard, FAQ Dude  (BITNET ADDRESS: PPG@OASIS.ICL.CO.UK)
     (BITNET ADDRESS: B3GMS%TTACS.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU)
     (BITNET ADDRESS: DQZ5052@NYUACF.BITNET)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------


               THE INTERNATINAL BITNET ADDRESS BOOK

Name:     John W. Boelter
Alias:    Nightwind
BitNet:   BOELTER3945@ISCSVAX.UNI.EDU
Address:  Cedar Falls, Iowa                    U.S.A.

Name:     Brandon Cope
Alias:    none
BitNet:   A_COPEAB@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU
Address:  Nacogdoches, Texas                   U.S.A.

Name:     John Daniel
Alias:    none
BitNet:   C548285@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU
Address:  Columbia, Missouri                   U.S.A.

Name:     Sven De Kerpel
Alias:    none
BitNet:   SDKERPEL@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE
Address:  Vrije Universiteit Brussel
          Brussel                              Belgium

Name:     Vicki Domansky
Alias:    Morgaine
BitNet:   VICKI.L.DOMANSKY@MTSG.UBC.CA
Address:  Vancouver, British Columbia          Canada

Name:     Jason Golden
Alias:    none
BitNet:   BEHOLDER@FAITHFUL.IMSA.EDU
Address:  Illinois Mathematics & Science Academy,=20
          Schaumburg, Illinois                 U.S.A.

Name:     Marc Maurer
Alias:    Maxwell Edison
BitNet:   MAURERMJ@CAA.MRS.UMN.EDU
Address:  University of Minnesota, Morris=20
          Morris, Minnesota                    U.S.A.

Name:     Stan Joseph Paszt, Jr
Alias:    Fast Eddie, Silthen, Rayer, JoJo
BitNet:   CSPASZT@ECUVM1.BITNET
Address:  Chocowinity, North Carolina          U.S.A.

Name:     Matt Sullivan
Alias:    none
BitNet:   SULLIVAN_M@CSVAX1.UCC.IE
Address:  Cork City                            Ireland

Name:     Morgan Tanner
Alias:    Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm
BitNet:   ECZ5TAN@MVERSUSOAC.UCLA.EDU
Address:  Los Angeles, California              U.S.A.

Name:     Vinnie
Alias:    none
BitNet:   GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL
Address:  Delft                                Holland (Netherlands)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                  THE BITNET CONTROVERSY OF THE GUIDE


     Upon completion of this guide (06/01/92), it was offered to=20
members of the ADND-L Advanced Dungeons & Dragons discussion list that=20
is found on the BITNET computer network. Over 50 people responded and=20
received the guide. Some people disliked the guide and stated their=20
opinions on the discussion list, and others rebutted their complaints.=20
Below is the argument that took place.


BITNET ADDRESS: ARKOIE@JUDY.INDSTATE.EDU

     I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating=20
these insane articles on how to =91role-play' sex in ADND. Now I've=20
tolerated a lot of crazy things on this list and mostly just delete=20
them if I don't want to read them (and sometimes post a message about=20
it without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and=20
crazy I can't stand it. I don't want to have to =91delete' it... I mean=20
lets take a closer look at this for a second. First off I'm sure many=20
of you have had those silly encounters where your group felt like being=20
goofy and some characters had sex, and perhaps some of you have had=20
serious encounters about this sort of thing to go along with the story=20
of the campaign. But... I think it's really ridiculous that someone=20
might think we could use a guide on how to role-play sex in ADND.=20
Granted sex is very important... but God man... we don't need freaking=20
articles on =91how to do it' because if we don't know already we have no=20
business =91doing it' in the first place.... game or otherwise. I've been=20
playing ADND for several years... and I've encountered stories and spot=20
adventures of ADND sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS=20
in all 10 years of ADND playing until I kept seeing articles like this=20
last one. Now maybe some of you out their have a different opinion...=20
if so... lets hear it... I'd like to know WHY we should have guides on=20
HOW to have SEX in ADND because I think they are personally a waste of=20
space and just tell me how much time that person had free on his hands=20
to write such a ridiculous article in the first place.

Thank you for your time.

--- Your friendly neighborhood Anti-Paladin

Nomed =91the Accursed'


BITNET ADDRESS: MENERY@DE3A1066A.OSD.MIL

     I have taken the time to read the aforementioned Guide to ADND=20
sex. It is your game, play it the way you want to. If you have fun with=20
it, then more power to you. I find the whole thing infantile and=20
lacking any merit whatsoever. The whole sophomoric tone led to=20
initially believe it was a joke. Perhaps it still is.

Ristonofer
On high ground, donning the asbestos.


BITNET ADDRESS: MABBC%CUNYVM.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU

Come on now, the author of the sex guide was making an attempt at=20
adding something to the game and all of a sudden, out of the woodwork,=20
comes friggin' Siskel and Ebert of literature. Give the guy a break. I=20
haven't completely finished reading the "guide" but come now. People=20
have the right to compile what they like. Ristanofer (sp?): is it truly=20
infantile to experiment?? I see nothing very wrong with it. I think=20
that we should give the guy a break. From what I read, he isn't the=20
only one who helped compile it. There are many others. Are you and the=20
lady (*I'm sorry but I forgot her logo*) going to hunt all of these=20
people down and flame them?? I think not. I think that the best thing=20
y'all can do is mellow out and let someone hang themselves with the=20
newly created length of rope, and if they do not, well, wish them=20
luck.

P.S. that was IMHO, of course. And if you must, flames are welcome.

P.P.S. but I prefer not to see any.

DeathWish


BITNET ADDRESS: GREGD%UNCA.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU

     I must agree with Deathwish about the sex guide. This discussion=20
list is a forum for presenting ideas related to AD&D. Not those ideas=20
that are good or those ideas that are bad but all ideas. What may be=20
junk to one person may be a gold mine to another.
     I can see nothing wrong with offering the guide to the net on the=20
chance that someone may feel it is useful. Obviously someone felt so or=20
the author would not have had all the collaboration on the project from=20
fellow list members.
     If you have a problem with someone's work send them private e-mail=20
before flaming them before the list.

IMHO.

Greg Dillingham


BITNET ADDRESS: CS0813@SNOWHITE.CIS.UOGUELPH.CA

     I, too, have read the guide. I find it humorous, but of the=20
"Did you hear the joke about the girl with HUGE ...", etc.. It's REALLY=20
infantile (although most of the jokes that truly make me laugh are as=20
well) and I think you're either going to hate it or love it. Me, I'm=20
afraid I hate it. Well done, but I think the original idea was... (I'm=20
gonna duck the flame after this) lame.

Yers,
Greg (Malek)


BITNET ADDRESS: SOCJOHN%UMCVMB.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU

     As one of the people who made some (minimal) contributions to the=20
guide, I must say the following. While you may not like some parts of=20
the guide, find them infantile, etc., I am sure that there is something=20
in there for every DM. Even if you do not like 99% of it, that last 1%=20
is going to be something that will make your eyes light up, and start=20
the wheels of your mind turning. Read it before passing judgement.=20
=91Nuff Said on the subject....happy dice rolling.


BITNET ADDRESS: GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL

     Well I should say read the guide or give it at least a good look=20
before you start saying things like that! It's not just to tell ya how=20
to do the thing but it's to add more flavor and much more fun on this=20
subject. Yes you should really give it a look. It's full of really=20
nice/funny/wonderful/weird ideas. The developers where all very=20
surprised of what became of the Guide and I Think many of you will also=20
be very surprised if you take a look!
     Don't think that because it's related to this subject called Sex=20
that it's bad stupid or useless. It certainly ain't an =91Escape from=20
Reality' (or whatever you wanna call it) to have some fake Sex!=20
(...because you don't get enough in your own life.....aahhhwww What a=20
pitty....Oooppss I'm sorry) I really wouldn't wanna trade places with=20
the PC's who were gonna be involved with those rules. Yeah take a look=20
at those real nasty diseases and neat Kiss Spells! You certainly don't=20
wanna be subject of most of those!!! The Guide is there just to add=20
more Fun and fresh ideas to this wonderful game called AD&D.
     I have to admit that I first thought it was a stupid idea too but=20
then I saw some nice ideas and joined the developers in making it a=20
nice ***FREE*** good developed product!

Vinnie

     Okay I'll now put on my Protection from fire again and wield my=20
Frostbrand so come-on with those Flame Throwers! But Don't try to=20
barbecue me when you didn't gave a good look at the Guide! First look &=20
read before you start Flaming the Thing (yeah You can't start a fire on=20
something if you do not really know what it is! It could be either=20
Alcohol or Water! he he :) And I guess you don't wanna waste your=20
flamethrower on the water!


BITNET ADDRESS: PUGHR%SNYCORVA.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU

Valiant Comrades,
     Regarding the uproar about the Sex Guide, I agree with the=20
supporters, and to the critics I have to say LIGHTEN UP! If you don't=20
like the principal of the guide, then simply refrain from using it.=20
Even the Dungeon Master's Guide isn't written in stone.
     Besides, there is some useful stuff in there. Any GM who can't=20
find creative uses for an Houri NPC should have his proverbial licence=20
revoked.
     And, no matter how you view AD&D, it is still ONLY A GAME. If=20
someone takes offence to the principal or content therein, perhaps a=20
different hobby is in order.

Hall-ee-mor Dargess

BITNET ADDRESS: REPATH@ADMIN.HUMBERC.ON.CA

     How come I never got a copy of the ADND sex guide? I asked for=20
one. Can someone send me a copy please. Sure, it may seem a little=20
silly or stupid, but it can't hurt. I'll read it then decide if I want=20
to use it. There's probably something in it for everybody. What ever=20
happened to free expression?  Some people are so oppressive!

Austin Repath


BITNET ADDRESS: ROGUE%UCRMATH.UCR.EDU%SDSC.BITNET@UTARLVM1.UTA.EDU

MiXeD iN tHe hEaD

I believe it!

> I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating=20
> these  insane articles on how to =91role-play' sex in ADND. Now I've=20
> tolerated a  want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it=20
> without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and=20
> crazy I can't stand it.

You "can't stand it" ?!?  You have some personal problem with other=20
people's creativity? You may not share others sense of humor and they=20
may not respect your morals, but this is a public access list. You seem=20
to indicate it should be censored!  Now step back and realize that=20
other people, myself included, are mature enough to moderate =91use of=20
sex' in our own games. Some of these articles have had some good ideas,=20
while all of them at the very least are intended to be taken light-
heartedly. So have fun with it, or just ignore it.

> adventures of ADND sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like=20
> THIS in all 10 years of ADND playing until I kept seeing articles=20
like > this last...

I dunno who you've been gaming with... But the college students I have=20
played with have done much "worse" than this list's "Guide to AD&D=20
Sex." Of course like any other "rules for DND" the sex stuff is just a=20
tool. Suggestions...and most of all a good laugh from some creative=20
gamers who defiantly have a grip on the real world.

Think about sex-education through role-playing games :)  One must learn=20
that if his promiscuous paladin doesn't wear his "ring of protection"=20
(and I don't mean the one on worn on the hands...) that he may pick up=20
some nasty effects, possibly magical!  Eeeooch!

                With the slightest bow and tip of his hat,
                   the Rogue steps back into the night...


BITNET ADDRESS: BARRIOS@MURRAY.FORDHAM.EDU

You guys need to grow the fuck up. Go out and buy a Hustler or two and=20
figure out what you really should play with, besides yourselves. Notice=20
"elves" in there!  *** CENSORED ***

                                Taipan The Tampon

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                  BITNET ADDRESS OF GUIDE CONTRIBUTERS

IN%"BARTHELM@UMNMOR.BITNET"                     Larry Barthel
IN%"lonadar@judy.indstate.edu"                  Lonadar The Wanderer
IN%"BOELTER3945@iscsvax.uni.edu"                John W. Boelter
IN%"c548285@umcvmb.missouri.edu"                John Daniel
IN%"MNP@ALPHA.SUNQUEST.COM"                     Mike Parasich
IN%"gtv@bouw.tno.nl"                            Vinnie
IN%"SULLIVAN_M@csvax1.ucc.ie"                   Matt Sullivan
IN%"ECZ5TAN@MVERSUSOAC.UCLA.EDU"                Morgan Tanner
IN%"CSPASZT@ECUVM1.BITNET"                      Fast Eddie
IN%"BEHOLDER@Faithful.imsa.edu"                 Jason Golden
IN%"MAURERMJ@caa.mrs.umn.edu"                   Maxwell Edison
IN%"A_COPEAB@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU"                  Brandon Cope
IN%"sdkerpel@vnet3.vub.ac.be"                   Sven De Kerpel
IN%"vicki.l.domansky@mtsg.ubc.ca"               Vicki L. Domansky