💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › politics › laws captured on 2023-06-16 at 20:01:40.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Chapter 10
GOOFY LAWS
The following are bits excerpted from a book, itself almost
one hundred years old:
THE FAMOUS CONNECTICUT BLUE LAWS. - These laws, enacted
by the people of the "Dominion of New Haven," became
known as the blue laws because they were printed on blue
paper. They were as follows: -
The governor and magistrates convened in general
assembly are the supreme power, under god, of the
independent dominion. From the determination of the
assembly no appeal shall be made.
No one shall be a freeman or have a vote unless he
is converted and a member of one of the churches
allowed in the dominion.
Each freeman shall swear by the blessed God to
bear true allegiance to this dominion and that Jesus is
the only king.
No dissenter from the essential worship of this
dominion shall be allowed to give a vote for electing of
magistrates or any officer.
No food or lodging shall be offered to a heretic.
No one shall cross a river on the Sabbath but
authorized clergymen.
No one shall travel, cook victuals, make beds,
sweep houses, cut hair, or shave on the Sabbath Day.
No one shall kiss his or her children on the
Sabbath or feasting days.
The Sabbath Day shall begin at sunset Saturday.
Whoever wears clothes trimmed with gold, silver,
or bone lace above one shilling per yard shall be
presented by the grand jurors and the selectmen shall
tax the estate L300.
Whoever brings cards or dice into the dominion
shall pay a fine of L5.
No one shall eat mince pies, dance, play cards, or
play any instrument of music except the drum, trumpet,
or jewsharp.
No gospel minister shall join people in marriage.
The magistrate may join them, as he may do it with less
scandal to Christ's church.
When parents refuse their children convenient
marriages, the magistrate shall determine the point.
A man who strikes his wife shall be fined L10.
A woman who strikes her husband shall be punished
as the law directs.
No man shall court a maid in person or by letter
without obtaining the consent of her parents; L5
penalty for the first offense; L10 for the second, and
for the third imprisonment during the pleasure of the
court.
MASSACHUSETTS BLUE-LAWS. - In regard to the so-called
"blue-laws" of Massachusetts it is difficult to
determine just where the line between fact and fancy is
to be drawn. It is claimed that the founders of
Connecticut borrowed most of their laws and judicial
proceedings from Massachusetts. Many of these laws were
enacted previous to 1640, and a number were the orders
and sentences of the Massachusetts Court of Assistants
and General Court. For instance, one order we find is
as follows: "It is ordered, that all Rich. Clough's
strong water shall presently be seazed upon, for his
selling greate quantytie thereof to several men
servants, which was the occasion of much disorder,
drunkeness, and misdemeanor.
Another record, in March, 1631, is to the effect
that "Nieh. Knopp is fyned 5L for takeing upon him to
cure the scurvey, by a water of noe worth nor value,
which he solde att a very deare rate, to be imprisoned
till hee pay his fine or give securitye for it, or else
to be whipped; and shal be lyable to any man's action of
whome he hath receved money for the said water.
In September, 1636: Robert Shorthose, for swearing
by the bloud of God, was sentenced to have his tongue
put into a cleft stick, and to stand so by the space of
haulfe an houre.
- from The Century Book of Facts, 1900
When Marquis de Pelier whistled at Queen Marie Antoinette, he
was promptly thrown in jail and kept there for fifty years.
Four hundred years ago in Turkey drinking coffee was illegal.
The sentence: death.
Anyone caught drunk in public in ancient China was put to
death.
In 1871, James Macandrew was the Chief Executive of Otago,
New Zealand. He was ordered to go to debtors' prison. So, he
declared a law that his home was a prison.
When Peter the Great, who couldn't grow a respectable beard,
was in power, any Russian who had a beard had to pay a beard tax.
During the 1920's there was a law in Russia that all private
automobiles (not ones used by the government) had to have a yellow
stripe painted all the way around the whole body.
It was illegal to teach evolution in Tennessee until 1968.
In Massachusetts you can't legally use tomatoes in clam
chowder.
There is a man whose official name has been legally changed
to Mr. 1069.
According to one source, in Idaho it is illegal to give your
lover a box of candy smaller than fifty pounds in weight. Another
source stated that it is illegal to give any other citizen a box
of candy weighing more than 50 pounds. In any case, the giving of
huge quantities of candy is regulated in Idaho.
There is a law against shooting rabbits from a New York City
trolley car.
In Texas when two trains meet at a crossing "neither shall
proceed until the other has gone."
You are violating the law if you mispronounce the name of
Arkansas.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman cannot legally drive unless
there is a man running on foot ahead of her car with a red flag to
warn motorists that a woman is driving.
In Chaseville, New York, you may not "drive a goat past a
church in a ridiculous fashion."
In New York City is a special court that hears about 400
complaints per day against taxi drivers. Since the cabbies in the
Big Apple carry approximately 400,000 people per day, that means
about one in every thousand passengers feel the need to bring a
complaint against a driver.
Overheard in court recently: A cab driver who had recently
immigrated from Pakistan was in court because he punched a
passenger. Asked why, the driver said, "In my country women
aren't allowed to speak disrespectfully to a man."
Many cabbies do not like this court because they have to
waste hours waiting for their case to come up. In one case, a
professor from Columbia University took a cab driver to court
because he had made a face when he discovered the tip was a small
one.
Draft resisters take note: The U.S. Navy will not accept
anyone with an obscene tattoo.
All gondolas must be black in Venice. Only government
officials are allowed fancy colors.
Do not burn "offal" or bones, or grow ragweed in New York
City. These are legal offenses.
It is illegal in Arizona to hunt camels.