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[Some discordian fun for the whole family :)]
-=THE TURKEY CURSE=-
Revealed by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to
the evil of the Curse of Greyface, the Turkey Curse is here passed
on to Erisians everywhere for their just protection.
[The Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that
Greyface and his followers absolutely require an anerisitic
setting to function and that a timely introduction of eristic
vibrations will neutralize their foundation. The Turkey Curse is
designed solely to counteract >negative< anerisitic vibes and if
introduced into a neutral or positive aneristic setting (like a
poet working out word rhythms) it will prove harmless, or at
worst, annoying. It is not designed for use against negative
>eristic< vibes, although it can be used an eristic vehicle to
introduce postive vibes into a misguided eristic setting. In this
instance, it would be responsibility of the Erisian Magician to
manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be achieved.
CAUTION - all magic is powerful and requires courage and integrity
on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can
backfire. Positive motivation is essential for self-protection.]
TO PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE--
Take a foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for
fisticuffs. Face the particular grey-face you wish to
short-circuit (e.g. a street preacher), or towards the direction
of the negative aneristic vibration that you wish to neutralize
(e.g. the White House). Begin waving your arms in any elaborate
manner and make motions with your hands as though you were
Mandrake feeling up a sexy giantess (Dr. Strange imitations are
fine). Chant, loudly and clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!!
The results will be instantly apparent.