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Slack. by: Sean M. Gomez. Slack is the essence of all Life. Today I watched some one worry about her new hair cut, whether or not a boy liked her, and whether her friends would approve of her tattoo. I looked at her and said, "You think too much." At this she proceeded to ramble on about how her mind was always running over with ideas. Unfortunately I laughed. This might have been the wrong thing to do at that moment in time. You must realize that to me it makes no sense. When people tell me that they're REALLY STRESSED OUT I tend to laugh ,grin, smirk, etc. Then I ask them "Why" and they usually reply with: " uh..... well, like, if I don't do well then I won't ,like, get into a good, ya know, grad school....." or some such nonsense. I usually reply with one of those time tested slogans that we have and love, like "Don't worry be happy." , or I'll use a scientific phrase, like the "Fact" that too much stress increases the likelihood of having a heart attack, or I'll just make something up. Now the hard part, defining "SLACK". I once heard of a story where a student asks a Zen master "What is Zen?" and the master replied by throwing him off the bridge that they were standing on into the river below. Well the student got back up on the bridge and asked the question again, the Master did the same thing. This happened several times. Finally the student gave up. Another story tells of the student that asks his master the same question this master reply with "Five pounds of flax." Well here's my answer: "Slack is a fishstick in the eye of man." Slack is that certain essence about a person that refuses to let them get worked up about things. Slack is the bullshit in a term paper. Slack is the laid back air of someone who knows EXACTLY what they're doing. Slack is embodied in the shape of a cloud. Slackness is not a pre-request for being comfortable. A person can get very uptight not worrying. Now, while they are not worrying, they are getting uptight so they obviously do not have Slack. You can also be very nervous and be trying to act laid back, this is also not Slack. But for some reason some people like being stressed-out/ uptight/ nervous they say it keeps them on edge. Fine. but this is not Slack. A person with Slack will not worry, period. This is usually called the "Fuckit" attitude. The "Fuckit" attitude comes in two varieties, Slack and Violent. The Violent kind usually involves destroying or harming whatever is causing the stress, this is not Slack. The Slack verity involves the passing on of the problem, and is usually connected with the phrase, "oh well, fuckit" followed by a huge grin and some totally random act. Most people that have Slack, have it all their lives. Some people that have Slack lose it due to some traumatic experience. For example: Albert Einstien had Slack, but he lost the Slack when he found out that his discoveries were being used to destroy. You can tell he lost the Slack because he uttered the phrase "If I had known all of this would happen I would have remained a watchmaker." This leads to some of the character traits of the Slacker (a person with Slack, not the Richard Linkletter movie). Obviously the main trait associated with Slackers is that they do not worry. This does not mean that everyone that doesn't worry is a Slacker, some are merely apathetic. As Linkletter points out in his movie "Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy." The Slacker withdraws in disgust, he feels that worrying and shorting one's life span over silly things is just a big mistake. A Slacker also lacks a sense of regret. Remorse they understand, but not regret. Remorse shall be defined as an understanding that something that one does UNINTENTIONALLY could be wrong, therefore if I trip and fall and break your leg I will feel remorse. Regret shall here-in be defined as felling bad over doing something INTENTIONALLY. I.e. I break your leg because you raped a friend of mine. A Slacker will feel Remorse, but not regret. Slack is not the same as slacking off. When you slack off you create more work for yourself, you just move it to a latter time frame. When you Slack you do it quickly, correctly, the first time through, and most importantly, without getting stressed out about it. Nature has Slack. It just doesn't care. I have Slack, for the same reason. The guy sitting next to me has Slack, I don't see him worrying about the paper he's writing right now. Politicians do not have Slack. Most people can posses Slack for a small about of time, few of us posses true lifetime Slack. Slack is the modern day Dow. Slack is the Zen for the computer age. Slack is.....