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           XXXI Hymns --- by Fr. Achad (Charles Stansfield Jones)

Key entry by Fr. Nachash
Ur?us-Hadit Camp, OTO
Completed 11-21-90 e.v.




 
                                  XXXI HYMNS

                              TO THE STAR GODDESS

                                  Who is Not


                            BY XIII: which is ACHAD



                               I .?. Invocation

 Mother of the Sun, Whose Body is White with the Milk of the Stars, bend 
 upon Thy servant and impart unto him Thy Secret Kiss!

 Enkindle within him the Holy Ecstasy Thou hast  promised unto them that 
 love Thee; the Ecstasy which redeemeth from all pain.

 Hast thou not proclaimed: All the sorrows are but  shadows,  they  pass 
 and are done,  but  there  is that which remains?  That the Universe is 
 Pure  Joy-that  Thou  givest  unimaginable  Joys  on  Earth--that  Thou  
 demandest  naught in sacrifice?
        
 Let me then rejoice,  for therein may I serve Thee most fully.  Let  it 
 be Thy  Joy to see my joy; even as Thou hast promised in Thy Holy Book!
        
 Now, therefore, am I Joyful in Thy Love.

 
                                     AUMN

                               II .?. The Brook

 I wandered beside the running stream, and mine eyes caught the glint of 
 Thy Starry Orbs in the swirling waters.
        
 So  is  it  with  my  mind;  it  flows  on  towards the  Great  Sea  of  
 Understanding wherein I may come to know Thee more fully.
        
 Sometimes,  as  it journeys, it threatens to overflow its banks in  its  
 eagerness to reflect a wider image of Thine Infinite Body.
        
 Ah! How the very stones, over which flow the life of my  being,  thrill 
 at the tender caress of Thy reflected Image.
        
 Thou, too,  art  Matter;  it  is  I---Thy  Complement---who  am motion!  
 Therefore these very stones are of Thee, but the Spirit---the Life---is 
 the very Self of me; mine Inmost Being.
        
 Flow  on,  O  Stream!  Flow  on,  O  Life!  Towards  the Great  Sea  of 
 Understanding, the Great Mother.


                            III .?. The Rose Garden

 Long have I lain and waited for Thee in the Rose Garden  of  Life;  yet  
 ever Thou withholdest Thyself from mine Understanding.
        
 As I lay I contemplated Thy nature as that of an Infinite Rose.
        
 Petals, petals, petals.. but where, O Beauteous One, is Thy Heart?
        
 Hast Thou no Heart? Are Thy petals Infinite so that I may  never  reach 
 the Core of Thy Being?
        
 Yet,  Thou  hast  said:  "I love you!  I yearn to you!  Pale or purple, 
 veiled  or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkeness 
 of the innermost sense, desire you: Come unto me!"
        
 Yea! Mine innermost sense is drunken; it is intoxicated upon the Dew of 
 the Rose. Thy Heart is my Heart; there is no difference, O Beloved.
        
 When I shall have penetrated to the Heart of Thine Infinite Rose, there 
 shall I find Myself.
        
 But I shall never come to myself---only to Thee.


                             IV .?. The Fox Glove

 Tall  and  straight  as  a Fox Glove do I stand before Thee,  Mother of 
 Heaven.

 The flower of my  being  is given over to a strange conceit;  I grow up 
 towards the Stars and not towards the Sun.
        
 Art Thou not Mother of the Sun?
        
 Thus have I blasphemed the Lord and  Giver of Life for Thy sake. Yet am 
 I not ashamed,  for  in  forgetting  the  Sun  I am become the Sun--Thy  
 Son--yet  a thousand times more Thy Lover.
        
 The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have  nests,  but  now  I  
 have nowhere to lay my head; for tall and straight as  a  Fox  Glove do  
 I stand before Thee. My resting place is the Womb of the Stars.
        
 Yet  all that I may comprehend of Thine Infinite Body  is  but  as  the  
 Glove upon one of Thy soft sweet hands, touching the Earth, not hurting 
 the little flowers.


                                V .?. The Storm

 A Dark Night and the Storm. The lightening flashes between Thee and me. 
 I am dazzled so that I see Thee not.
        
 So in the depths  of my being flash the fires of life;  they  blind  me 
 to the Understanding of Thee and Thine Infinite Body of Stars.
        
 Yet  I  see  Thee  reflected in the body of her  I love, as we lie with 
 quivering limbs awaiting the coming of the sound of thunder.
        
 She fears the thunder, and turns within herself for consolation.
        
 But even there the Lightning flameth, for I have loosed the fires of my 
 being within the dark  recess---in honour of  the Storm  and  of  Thine  
 Infinite Body which I see not.


                          VI .?. The Hole in The Roof

 Once I knew an ancient serpent. He delighted  to  bask in the  Sunshine 
 which penetrated through a tiny hole in the roof of the cave.
        
 He was old and very wise.
        
 He said: "Upon me is concentrated the  Light  of  the  whole Universe."

 But a little brown beetle,  who had long lived  in  the  cave with him, 
 looked  up,  and  spreading  his wings passed out through the  hole  in  
 roof---into the Infinite Beyond.
        
 Thus,  forsaking  wisdom,  would I come to Thee,  Beloved Lady  of  the  
 Starry Heavens.


                              VII .?. The Design

 Strange  curves:  and  every  Curve  a  Number woven into a Musical and  
 Harmonious Pattern.

 Such was the design showed me by my friend when first we met.

 It was like an exchange of greetings by means of an inward recognition.

 Oh! Could  I  but  grasp  the  Ever-changing  Design of Thy Star  Body,  
 Mother  of Heaven!

 Yet, it is written: "Every man and every woman is a star.  Every number  
 is infinite, there is no difference."

 Such then is Life,  for those who love Thee:  Strange Curves, and every 
 Curve a Number woven into a Musical and Harmonious Design.


                            VIII .?. The Snow Drift

 My body was blue as Thine,  O Beloved,  when they found me. I was stiff 
 as  if held in  a close embrace. Nor was I conscious of aught but Thee, 
 till the small fires of Earth brought me back with an agony of tingling 
 pain.

 How came I to be lost in the snow-drift?

 I remember how I had taken shelter from the  blinding storm.  The  snow  
 fell about me, and I waited, turning my thought to Thee.

 Then  did  I realize how every snow-flake  is  built as a tiny star.  I  
 looked closer, burying my face  in  the  white  pile,  as in Thy Bosom. 
 Mine arms embraced the snow-drift; I clung to it in a mad ecstacy.

 Thus would I have pressed Thy Body to mine,  wert Thou not Infinite and 
 I but as tiny as a star-flake.

 So was my body frozen---as by the utmost cold of inter-stellar space.

 It was blue as Thine when they found me locked in Thine embrace.


                                IX .?. Daylight

 In the Daylight I see not Thy Body of Stars, O Beloved.

 The little light of the  Sun  veils  the Great Light of the  Stars, for  
 to-day Thou seemest distant.

 The Sun burns like a great Torch,  and Earth seems as one of His little 
 Spheres, filled with life.

 I am but a tiny spermatozoon,  but  within  me is the fiery and concen-
 trated essence of Life.

 Draw me up into Thyself,  O Sun!  Project  me into the Body of Our Lady 
 Nuit!

 Thus  shall  a  new  Star  be  born,  and  I shall see Thee even in the  
 Daylight, O Beloved.


                                X .?. The Bird


 Once I bought a little bird;  his cage was very small;  it had only one 
 perch.  He was so young he had not even learned to sing, but he chirped 
 gladly when I brought him home.

 Then I raised the bars of his cage,  and  without a moment's hesitation 
 he flew out into the room,  and  spying  the  cage  of  the love-birds, 
 perched upon it and examined it carefully.

 Not long  afterwards another and stronger cage  was  obtained  for  the  
 love-birds,  for  they had pecked through some of the frail bars.  When  
 the  little bird was offered the discarded cage, he quickly hopped from 
 his tiny  one  to theirs.

 Now he  has three perches and room for his tail,  and  when we open the 
 door of his cage he refuses to come out.  Perhaps he fears to lose what 
 he  had  once coveted and then obtained.

 Herein lies the secret  of Government.  Give the people what will  make  
 them reasonably comfortable;  let  them have three perches and room for 
 their tails;  and forgetting their slavery and restrictions,  they will 
 be content.

 Hast Thou not said "The slaves shall serve." Lady of the Starry Heaven?


                               XI .?. The Moral

 There is another moral to the story of the little bird.  Having  gained  
 his desire for a larger cage, he forgot his longing for Freedom.

 The  door  remained  open;  the  room  was before him, wherein he could 
 stretch his wings and fly.

 Yet he preferred his cage.

 The wide world might have been  his  had he known how to use it, but he 
 was not ready for that;  he  would have perished of cold  had I let him 
 out into the wintry snow.

 Let  those  who  would  travel  the  Mystic  Path remember this:  Earth 
 Consciousness is an illusion and limitation. When it frets us,  like  a  
 little  cage,  our chance for greater freedom comes.

 But when a larger cage is offered---when we obtain Dhyana---let us  not  
 rest there thinking ourselves free.  The  door  is  open,  Samadhi lies 
 beyond,  and  beyond that,  when we are ready for it, the Real Freedom, 
 Nirvana.

 O Lady of the Stars,  let me not content till I penetrate the  ultimate  
 bars and am Free---One with the Infinitely Great as with the Infinitely 
 Small.

                       XII .?. The Invisible Foot Prints

 Long have I roamed the Earth delighting in the Good,  the Beautiful and  
 the True; ever seeking the spots where these seem to be most Perfect.

 There is joy in this wandering among the flowers of life, but  Thy Joy,  
 O Beloved, is to be desired above all.

 Now I seek a resting place,  I am set upon a new Quest,  to Worship  at  
 Thy feet.

 For it is written of Thee: "Bending  down,  a lambent  flame  of  blue,  
 all touching, all penetrant, her lovely hands upon the black earth, and 
 her lithe body arched for love,  and  her  soft  feet  not  hurting the 
 little flowers."
 
 Oh! That I might discover Thine Invisible Footprints upon the Earth and 
 there come to the Understanding of Thy Being, O Beloved.


                           XIII .?. The Finger Tips
 
 Or, it may be, O Beloved, I shall discover the imprints of  Thy  finger  
 tips amid the flowers or upon the Black Earth.

 Hath not Nemo a Garden that he tendeth?  Doth he not also labour in the 
 Black Earth?

 Who knoweth when Thy hands may grasp me and draw me up into Thine arms, 
 there to nestle at Thy breast, to feed upon the Milk of the Stars?

 Beloved,  verily this tending of the Garden of the World---although the  
 labor may seem heavy---leadeth to a Great Reward.  As  Thou  hast said:  
 "Certainty,  not  faith,  while in life upon death, rest, ecstasy." Nor  
 dost  Thou  demand aught in sacrifice.

 What do the Bhaktis know of Love? They see the Beloved everywhere.

 But when I am one with Thee,  O Beloved,  I shall not see Thee,  for  I  
 shall know Theee as Thou art.


                           XIV .?. The Well of Stars

 I  know  a  hidden  well of clearest water.  Naught but the  coping  of  
 delicate pink onyx is visible until the secret spring be touched.

 Then beware! For above the entrance hangs a fiery sword.

 Few find this Well or know its Secret; there are but two roads  leading
 thereto.

 From the broad Mountain summit we may search the slopes for a vision of  
 the Woodland Delta where grow the Trees of Eternity,  or we may journey  
 through the Valley between the Ivory Hills---if we fear not the  purple  
 shadows and the black pit-fall.

 From Thee we came; to Thee may we return, O Well of Living Stars!


                          XV .?. The Icicles of Isis

 It hath been written how the Old King dreamed of his banished  peacock,
 entombed in a palace of ice,  who  cried:  "The  Icicles  of  Isis  are 
 falling on my head."

 Thus it is with those who are banished to the Palace of the  Moon---for  
 the Word of Sin is Restriction.

 Oh! Lady of the Starry Heavens,  let  me not become frozen at the touch  
 of the cold Veil of Isis. For the Moon is but the dead reflector of the 
 Sun, and He but the youngest of Thy Children of Light.

 Let me lift Thy Peacock Veil of a Million Starry Eyes, O Beloved!

 Show Thy Star Splendour, O Nuit; bid me within Thine house to dwell!


                              XVI .?. Purple Mill

 The delicate purple mist streams up from the hills:  I  watch  and wait 
 for the meaning of it all.

 Sometimes  it  seems  like  the  incense  smoke of Aspiration ascending 
 towards  the  Sun---giver  of  Light,  Life,  Love  and  Liberty to the 
 Children of Earth.

 But the Sun is  going  down behind the Mountains,  and Thy Starry Lamps 
 glow in the Sky.

 Is not the Lamp above the Altar a symbol of the Desire of the Higher to 
 draw up the lower to Itself?

 So, O Lady of Heaven, I liken the Mist to the life-breath of  Souls who 
 pant for Thee here below.

 And I remember Thy words:

                          Above, the gemmed azure is
                            The naked splendour of Nuit;
                          She bends in ecstacy to kiss
                            The secret ardours of Hadit.
                          The winged globe, the starry blue,
                            Are mine, O Ankh-af-na-khonsu!

 I, too,  would ascend as a delicate purple mist that steams up from the 
 Hills. Art Thou not all Pleasure and Purple?


                         XVII .?. The Infinite Within

 I would that I were as the feminine counterpart  of  Thee,  O  Beloved;  
 then would I draw the Infinite within.

 Yet  since  Thy  Pure Being must ever be more refined than this body of  
 mine I should interpenetrate every part of Thee with my living flesh.

 Thus,  O Beloved, should we enter into a new and more complete embrace: 
 not as  of  earth wherein the male uniteth with the female by means  of  
 the  physical  organs  of  love,  but with every atom of my being close 
 pressed to every atom of Thine---within and without.

 Then,  O  beloved,  would  I  cry unto the Lord of the Primum Mobile to  
 teach me the Art of the Whirling Motion of Eternity.

 Thus, whirling  within  Thee,  our never-ending  nuptial feast shall be 
 celebrated, and a new System of Revolving Orbs be brought to birth.

 Ah!  the shrill cry of Ecstacy of that Refined Rapture---the Orgasm  of  
 the Infinite Within.


                             XVIII .?. The Rainbow

 As I sat in the shelter of the forest glade,  my  eye caught the multi-
 coloured gleam of diamonds.  I looked again;  the Sun rays were playing 
 upon the dew which clung to a little curved twig.

 It seemed like a tiny rainbow of promise.

 Then,  while I watched in wonder,  a small grey spider bridged the arch 
 of  the bow with his silken thread.

 Ah! My Beloved, thus, too, hath the Spider of Destiny woven his  silken  
 rope from extreme to extreme of the Great Rainbow of Promise.

 Fate hath fitted me as an Arrow to the String of Destiny in the bow  of  
 the Sun.

 But Whose Hand shall draw that Mighty Bow,  O Beloved, and send me upon 
 fleet wings to my resting place within Thine Heart?


                              XIX .?. Dropped Dew

 As I came from  tending the Rose Garden and was about  to  return to my 
 humble shelter,  my  eyes  caught  the gleam of dropped dew like a tiny 
 trail  along the path.

 It was very early;  the  Sun  had  not yet re-arisen; the  Stars  still  
 twinkled faintly in the sky.

 Who could have come before me to the Garden? 

 I followed  the  trail  of  dew,  stooping  down  so that I saw in each 
 crystal drop the reflection of a tiny star.

 Thus came I  to  my  lady's  chamber; she it was who carrying roses had 
 left this silvery thread as a clue to her hiding place.

 When I found her, her eyes were closed, as she pressed the fragrant the  
 pink blossoms to her white breast.

 Then did I bury my face in the blossoms and I saw  not  her  eyes  when  
 she opened them in wonder.

 Thus,  too,  would  I  follow  the Star-trail of Dropped Dew,  ere  the  
 re-arisen Sun hides Thee from me, O My Beloved!

 Thus would I come to Thee and bury my face in Thy Breast amid the Roses  
 of Heaven.

 Nor  should  I  dare  to  look  into Thine eyes,  having discovered Thy 
 secret---the Dew of Love---the Elixir of Life.


                                XX .?. Twilight

 Twilight... and in a few brief moments the Stars will begin to peep.  I  
 will await Thee, here amid the heather, O Beloved.

 I wait... no stars appear for a mist has stolen up from the foot of the
 mountains.

 Thus I waited for a sight of Thy Star Body till the cold  damp  mist of
 suppresed emotion chilled my being and my reason returned.

 The woman stood girt with a sword before me.  Emotion  was  overcome by 
 clarity of perception.  Then did I remember Thy words: "The Khabs is in  
 the  Khu not the Khu in the Khabs. Worship then the Khabs and behold my  
 light  shed  over ye."

 Thus turned I my thoughts within, so that I  became  concentrated  upon  
 the Khabs---the Star of mine inmost being.  Then did Thy Light arise as 
 a halo of rapture, and I came a little to lie in Thy bosom.

 But I offered one particle of dust---and I lost all in that hour.

 Such is the Mystery of Her who demandest naught in sacrifice.

 The twilight is returned.


                             XXI .?. The Dog Star

 Wisdom hath said: "Be not animal; refine thy rapture!  The  canst  thou  
 bear more joy!"

 I have  been  like  an unleashed hound before Thee, O Beloved.  I  have  
 striven towards Thee and Thou seest in me only the Dog Star.

 Yet will I not fall into the Pit called Because,  there to perish  with  
 the dogs of reason.  There  is no reason in me; I seek Understanding, O  
 Mother  of Heaven.

 Thus,  with  my  face buried in the black earth, do I turn my back upon 
 Thee. I will refine my rapture.

 So Thou mayest behold me as I am, and so Thou shalt Understand at last,  
 O Beloved; for in reverse Thou readest this DOG aright.

 Hast Thou not said: "There is none other?"


                              XXII .?. Pot-pouri

 The roses are falling. This is the night of the full moon  whereon  the  
 children of Sin attend the Sacred Circle.

 Therein they will sit divided---but not for love's sake---for they know  
 Thee not---O Beloved.  Into  the  Elements,  the fiery, the watery, the 
 airy  and  the  earthly  Signs are they divided when they gather at the 
 Full Moon within the forest.

 I  wandered  down  the deep shadowy glade, there I espied a tiny sachet 
 of pot-pouri, dropped---maybe---from the streaming girdle of one of the 
 maidens.

 Tenderly I raised it.  Its  perfume  is  like unto the perfume of her I 
 love.  She, too,  perhaps,  has  heard the call of the moon and is even 
 now on her way to the secret tryst.

 But hast Thou not said:  "Let  there  be no difference made  among  you  
 between  any  one  thing and any other thing; for thereby cometh hurt." 
 What matter then  the  name  of the maiden?  What matter the flowers of 
 which it is composed?
 
 Yet dare I not burn this incense unto Thee, O Beloved, because of Thine 
 hair, the Trees of Eternity.

 Oh!  Little  sachet of pot-pouri,  thou hast reminded me of her I love,  
 for the  roses  are  falling,  it is the night of the Full Moon and the 
 children of Sin gather to attend the Sacred Circle.


                            XXIII .?. Red Swansdown

 It hath  been  told  how  Parzival  shot  and  brought down the Swan of  
 Ecstacy as it winged over the Mountain of the Grail.

 But there is within the archives another story,  unheard by the ears of 
 men.

 From the breast of the Eternal Swan floated one downy feather,  steeped  
 in blood.  This  did  the youngest and least worthy of the Knights hide 
 tenderly in  his  bosom  till he concealed it within the hard pillow of 
 his lonely couch.

 Night after night that holy pillow became softer; sweeter  and  sweeter  
 were  his  dreams.  And  one  night---the  night  of  the  crowning  of 
 Parzival---he  was  granted  the  Great Vision wherein the Stars became 
 like  flecks  of  Swansdown  upon the Breast of Heaven, each living and 
 throbbing, for they  were  steeped in Blood.

 Then did every atom of his being become a Star racing joyfully  through  
 the Great Body of the Lady of Heaven.  Thus in sweet sleep came he into 
 the Great Beyond.

 Grant unto me Thy Pillow of Blood and Ecstacy, O Beloved!


                            XXIV .?. Passing Clouds

 A  dark  night:  Not  a  star  is visible, but presently the moon shines 
 out through a rift in the clouds.  And I remember, "The sorrows are  but  
 shadows, they pass and are done, but there is that which remains."

 Yet is the moon but illusion.

 A dull day: but presently the Sun is seen as the clouds are dispelled by  
 His light.

 Is He that which remains?

 Night once more: the Sun is lost to sight,  only the moon reminds me  of  
 His presence. The clouds scud swiftly across the Sky and disappear.

 Thy  Star  Body is visible,  O Beloved; all the sorrows and shadows have 
 passed and there is that which remains.

 When clouds gather, let me never forget Thee, O Beloved!


                          XXV .?. The Coiled Serpent

 Thus have I heard:

 The ostrich goeth swiftly; with ease could he outstrip those  who  covet  
 his  tail-feathers,  yet  when  danger cometh he burieth his head in the 
 sand.

 The tortoise moveth slowly and when embarrased he stoppeth,  withdrawing 
 into his own shell; yet he passeth the hare.

 The  hare  sleepeth when he should be swiftly moving;  he runneth in his 
 dreams thinking himself at the goal.

 But the Coiled Serpent hath wisdom, for he hideth his tail and it is not
 coveted; he raiseth his head  and  fears not;  he moveth slowly like the 
 tortoise, yet withdraweth not; he nestles close to the hare, darting his
 tongue with swiftness, yet falleth not asleep by the wayside.

 Would that I had the Wisdom of the Coiled Serpent,  O Beloved, for  Thou  
 hast said:  "Put  on the wings, arouse the coiled splendour within  you:  
 come  unto me!"


                            XXVI .?. Love and Unity

 Twenty-six is the numeration of the Inneffable Name,  but It  concealeth  
 Love and Unity.

 The Four-lettered Name  implieth  Law, yet it may be divided for  love's  
 sake; for Love is the law.

 The  Four-lettered Name  is that of the elements,  but it may be divided 
 for the chance of Union; for there is Unity therein.

 There is but One Substance  and One Love and while these  be  twenty-six  
 they One through thirteen which is but a half thereof.

 Thus  do I play with numbers who would rather play with One and that One 
 Love.

 For Thou hast said:  "There  is  naught  that  can unite the divided but 
 love!"

 And is not Achad Ahebah?


                             XXVII .?. The Riddle

 What is that which cometh to a point yet goeth in a circle?

 This, O Beloved, is a dark saying, but Thou hast said:  "My  colour  is 
 black to the blind,  but the blue and gold are seem of the seeing. Also 
 I have a secret glory for them that love me."

 And Hadit hath declared: "There is a veil; that veil is black."

 I would that I could tear aside the veil, O Beloved, for seeing Thee as 
 Thou art, I might see Thee everywhere, even in the darkness that cometh 
 to a point yet goeth in a circle.

 For Hadit,  the core of every star,  says "It is I that go," and  Thou,  
 Mother of the Stars, criest "To me! To me!"

 Resolve me the Riddle of Life,  O  Beloved,  for  loving  Thee  I would 
 behold Thy Secret Glory.


                              XXVIII .?. Sayings

 Isis hath said: "I am all that was and that is and  that shall be,  and  
 no mortal hath lifted my veil."

 Who cares what is back of the moon?

 Jehovah showed his back unto Moses,  saying:  "No man hath seen my face 
 at any time."

 Who cares to face the elements?

 Hadit  hath  said:  "I  am life and the giver of life; therefore is the 
 knowledge of me the knowledge of death."

 Who cares to know death?

 But Thou, O Beloved, hath said:  "I give  unimaginable  joys  on earth, 
 certainty, not faith,  while in  life  upon  death,  peace unutterable,  
 rest, ecstacy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice."

 Who would not long to invoke Thee under Thy Stars, O Beloved?


                           XXIX .?. The Falling Star

 Falling, falling, falling! Thus fall the Rays from Thy  Body  of  Stars  
 upon  this  tiny planet,  O Beloved!  Innumerable streams of Light like 
 Star-rain upon the black earth.

 Since  every  man  and every woman is a star, their lives are like unto  
 streams of light concentrated upon every point in Space.

 As I lay with arms out-stretched, my bare body shining  like  ivory  in  
 the darkness. my scarlet abbai flung wide, mine  eyes  fixed  upon  the  
 star-lit Heaven;  I felt that I, too, was falling, falling, falling, in 
 an ecstacy of fear and love into the void abyss of space.

 Then did I remember that Thou art continuous. Beneath, above, around me  
 art Thou. And lo, from a falling star I became as a comet  wheeling  in  
 infinite Circles, each at a different angle, till my course traced  out  
 the Infinite Sphere that is the Symbol of Thee, O Beloved.

 Then did I aspire to find the Centre of All.

 And even now I am falling, falling, falling.


                                XXX .?. Justice

 I am a Fool, O Beloved, and therefore am I One or Nought as  the  fancy  
 takes me.

 Now am I come to Justice, so that I may be All or  Naught  according to  
 the direction of vision.

 No  Breath may stir the Feather of Truth, therefore is Justice ALone in 
 L. Yet the Ox-goad is Motion and Breath Matter  if  it  be  called  the  
 Ox which is also A.

 How foolish are these thoughts, which are but as the Sword  in the hand  
 of Justice.  They are as unbalanced as the Scales that stir not,  being 
 fixed in the figure of Law above the Court House of a great City.

 But Thou hast said: "Love is the law, love under will."

 And Love is the Will to Change and Change is the Will to Love.

 Even  in the  stern  outline  of  the  Scales  of Justice do I perceive 
 the  Instrument  of  Love,  and  in  the Life Sentence,  the Mystery of 
 Imprisonment in Thy Being, O Beloved!


                                 XXXI .?. Not

 Three Eternities are passed... I have outstripped a million Stars in my  
 race across Thy Breast---The Milky Way.

 When shall I come to the Secret Centre of Thy Being?

 Time,  thou thief, why dost thou rob the hungry babe? Space, thou hadst 
 almost deceived me.

 O Lady Nuit, let me not confound the space-marks!

 Then,  O  Beloved,  Thy  Word  came  unto  me,  as  it is written: "All 
 touching;  All penetrant."

 Thus left I Time and Space and Circumstance,  and  every Star became as 
 an atom  in  my  Body,  when  it  became Thy Body. Now never shall I be 
 known,  for it is I that go.

 But Thou,  O  Beloved,  though Thou art infinitely Great,  art Thou not 
 energized by the Invisible Point---the Infinitely Small?

                    A Million Eternities are Present, Deem
                          not of Change; This is the
                                 Here and Now,
                                   and I am
                                      NOT


                                     -oOo-


 * Origin: O winged snake of light, Hadit! @ (901) 373-4188 (1:123/15.0)