💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › messages › snurgle.txt captured on 2023-06-16 at 19:12:29.
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Intro: This is a simple message thread captured from the File Shack
BBS in Grand Island, NE. It shows just how off the wall
some people can get when they don't know the meaning of
of a word.
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Date: 12-12-90 (23:33) Number: 258 The File Shack
From: A NICE GAL Refer#: NONE
To: ANOTHER GAL Recvd: YES
Subj: misc. Conf: (0) General
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DM>I can embroidery, cross stitch, knit, and latch hook but never
DM>take the time anymore. I never did learn how to crochet.
Hi Deb,
Sounds like you have a variety of talents! I never learned to
crochet either or for that matter ceramics, ooh, nightmares when I think
of ceramics. I cross stitch, sew, scherenschnitte, I love what I call
Victorian crafts, bows and lace stuff. I am soon going to be teaching
classes on scherenschnitte, and selling my victorian pillows at a craft
store.
One of those Awesome Women,
** A Nice Gal **
---
? SLMR 1.0 ? Woman don't have to be on the bbs to be awesome, just be.
? TomCat! 2.5 ? The File Shack - Power User Headquarters
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Date: 12-13-90 (20:28) Number: 1 The File Shack
From: A CRAZY MAN Refer#: 258
To: A NICE GAL Recvd: NO
Subj: Oh Really? Conf: (0) General
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???scherenschnitte
I've known how to do that myself since I was 14 years old. The first
time I saw it being done was at the local Elks lodge after a stag feed.
I don't remember exactly all the rules and such as I have been welded to
this computer like a siamese twin for the last two years and don't get
out much, but this how I remember it.
First of all I thought it was something only men did at bachelor parties
and stag feeds, but today's life is crazy and you seem pretty worldly.
I've seen several variations but I'll only go over the basic and
professional versions. Since camera's are not allowed at the contests
I'll try to explain it in great detail for those who don't know about
it.
It can be played in single or in teams relay-style. An indoor
basketball court or dance floor makes the best playing surface. The
"gear" is placed on the north end of the floor. The contestants strip
down to their undershorts with shirts being optional. They line up on
the south end of the floor. There are three referees, one on each end
and one who runs around the middle. When the south ref blows his
whistle, the contestants race to the north end of the floor to don the
gear and start the race.
The gear for each contestant consists of a specially modified pair of
pantyhose. Instead of the normal two legged style, these have three
legs. The first two legs are where you put your feet and legs, and the
third leg has a spherical object in the foot. The size of the object or
ball as you may call it is optional and usually relates to the ego of
the player. I've see them range from golf balls to footballs and
basketballs. I think softballs are best though. Anyhow, after you get
your hose on, and your extra leg properly positioned, you are ready to
start the main part of the race. Each player has a toy truck or
automobile on the floor which they must push across the floor to the
finish line on the other side using only the ball in the third foot.
Once your ball has touched the car you must put your hands on top of
your head and are not allowed to take them down until you cross the
finish line.
This can be very frustrating, and some contests can last quite a while
depending on the skill of the contestants and the slipperiness of the
playing surface. Sometimes it is just a simple single trip across or
several laps around, just depends on the local rules. I don't remember
how the final score is computed, but I do know there are penalties and
ways to get extra points or be disqualified.
Extra points are awarded for:
1. Exceeding the recommended heighth and weight for the hose. Unless you
end up ripping the crotch out in which case you are automatically
dis-qualified.
2. Being able to stay on a course not wider that 6 feet wide.
Points are deducted for:
1. Getting runs. These are cumulative. The first run costs you 1
point, the second 2 points, the third 3 points and so on. Some
rookies get so excited they get so many runs they loose the game
before their balls even hit the floor.
2. Slipping and falling down. Same way as the runs, first is 1 point,
second is 2, and so on.
3. Taking your hands off your head. This costs 5 points the first
time, 10 the second, 20 the third, and so on. You can figure on
totally loosing if it happens more than twice.
4. Getting off course and touching another player. Depends on the
local rules how much this costs you.
5. Knocking down a ref could get you throw out of the game. The refs
are easy to spot. They also wear hose, but each of their legs are
different colors. Each ref has one white leg and one black leg.
The refs are not allowed to have a third leg. Since they are
constantly running around at high speed, it would be too dangerous
to have that thing flailing around.
6. For the relay team version, each team takes turns pushing the car
each way. Since the hose have to be put on and taken off at each
change, timing and preventing runs is critical. From watching TV, I'd
say your best bet would be NoNonsense. Since the players have to
take the hose off and put them back on several times at high speeds
accidents are very common. I remember that at the 1976 regional
play-off's in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that the champion at that time ended
up with one leg inside out. He was severely injured, but the team
still ended up coming in third.
The professional version is played both with single contestants and
relay teams. There are more rules, but the main difference is that the
players have to wear at least three inch heels and support hose are not
allowed.
I can't hardly believe women would engage in such nonsense, but these
are the days of equality. I'd like to come to one of your games and
see you play. I'd be cheering for you all the way.
---
? SLMR 1.05 #T250 ? This message will self-destruct in 10 days
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Prologue: The names where changed to protect the guilty. We have a
great bbs here. We're not trying to be a monster 10 gig
60 line operation. We're just a friendly place to visit.
We operate by the golden rule. We treat our callers as we
ourselves wish to be treated. Not only do we run a bbs,
we have a computer store and we participate on other bbs's
too. We have a very active message base dealing with
computer topics (mostly utilities and batch file stuff), rock
music, and as you have seen here --- off-the-wall humor.
So if you're looking for a new place to tell your jokes,
make some new friends, learn some new tricks, trade some
files, and just have an all out good time, give us a call.
We're here all the time, we're 9600 HST, and we want to
hear from you soon.
Ted McKinney, Sysop
File Shack BBS
PS. Oh Yeah, the number is 308-384-1395
**************** Merry Christmas & Happy New Year ****************
Wishing you and your loved ones the best in
1991