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-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Jason,
I love the work you are doing at textfiles.com.
I was the SysOp of "The Art of War BBS" in Atlanta, Georgia from 1991 until
late 1994. (Yes, I am included in your list for the 404 area code!)
I would like to donate a collection of messages from my bbs that would fit
nicely with your collection. Let me set it up for you, so the messages make
sense. These messages come from a period of time when I was "fed up" with the
BBS scene and decided to take down "The Art of War BBS"(TAoW BBS). However, I
had a job in the computer field repairing computers and I often called my own
bbs as a "modem test" while working on defective modems. So, while I was fed
up with TAoW BBS -- I still wanted to keep some sort of system "up" so I could
test modems. Voila -- "The Modem Test BBS" was born -- the name itself kind
of being a joke... I didn't think anyone would actually call when they saw
TAoW BBS was gone. Boy, was I suprised! The messages were so lively and the
support from my callers so great -- that it actually inspired me to put TAoW
BBS back online! I kept these messages all these years... and I gladly
contribute them now to textfiles.com. Enjoy.
Regards,
Charles "Chuck" Hood
former SysOp of The Art of War BBS
Atlanta, GA
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Messages from 3 to 539
Start with Msg # ? 3
Msg# : 3
To : WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (public) (not read)
From : RAY SPITZ
Subject : BBS
Date/Time : 08-01-92 23:21:48
----------------------------------------
What happened to The Art of War. I would have sworn it was at this phon
number
! Or at least thats where i
have been calling for it.
At 404-414-0329.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 6
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ROBERT SCOTT
Subject : huh
Date/Time : 05-01-93 01:51:39
----------------------------------------
What happened indeed? So what is this right here and now?
Robert Scott
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 8
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHRIS RUEGSEGGER
Subject : well
Date/Time : 05-01-93 11:21:19
----------------------------------------
Well from what I see the board seems to be history....I haven't been abl
to call the placee in the last week so I have know idea whats going
on!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 9
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : BRIAN KOSER
Subject : darn..curses
Date/Time : 05-02-93 23:16:52
----------------------------------------
Twas a good bbs...I shall miss it....Any chance of a return let me
know..I shall help.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 11
To : PUBLIC (public) (not read)
From : BRANDON BRAMLETT
Subject : WHATINTHA?
Date/Time : 05-03-93 16:46:04
----------------------------------------
what happened? I go away for a month and look what happens! Hey Mr.
Sysop, why kill such a descent board? ( after all, you could have at
least left BRE! ).
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 12
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : IRA WAJSMAN
Subject : Battle of the Bulge
Date/Time : 05-05-93 22:58:42
----------------------------------------
This is my first time on this BBS...been trying for several days but thi
is my first time in...a friend of mine is trying to get some info on the
Battle of the Bulge...we'd be grateful for anything that y'all might hav
or know about...I'll try to sign on again in the next few days to see
what I might be able to gather from you...Thanks in advance!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 14
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : angry
Date/Time : 05-06-93 20:24:28
----------------------------------------
ARGH!!! Why did it have to go down. Such a COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL BBS. I had
some cool door games I was going to U/L too. Ohhh Well, till next time..
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 15
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JOHNNY BUNCH
Subject : Art of War
Date/Time : 05-20-93 08:44:59
----------------------------------------
Sorry to see that you are shutting down. Should you ever have a chance t
call me....Warrior Base 404-336-9701....we'll be here. I know that you
must have a good reason...but I really hate to see it happen. c'ya and
good luck... perhaps we will see you again running The Art of War (senio
c'ya
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 19
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : NEW USER
Subject : what
Date/Time : 05-24-93 14:59:22
----------------------------------------
what is the purpose of the art of war bbs ,jr.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 20
To : NEW USER (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : what
Date/Time : 05-25-93 07:23:17
----------------------------------------
to inform people that the real art of war bbs is down for good.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 21
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : TAPS
Date/Time : 05-27-93 11:41:36
----------------------------------------
Sorry to see the demise of a good companion. It seemed that everything
was going so well. I suspect a government conspiracy! I saw a dark,
shapeless figure on the grassy knoll erasing disks! Alas, I hope to see
you around the Atl area BBS's. Until then, Semper Fidelis!
Gunner
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 22
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : PAUL BRADY
Subject : HOW SAD
Date/Time : 06-08-93 02:40:16
----------------------------------------
HOW VERY SAD
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 23
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : PAT COLONEY
Subject : Yo!
Date/Time : 06-08-93 09:36:24
----------------------------------------
So it is still here. I am attempting to get a board running but the
software is fighting me. I can see why the host is so easy.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 24
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : argh II
Date/Time : 06-08-93 22:08:22
----------------------------------------
What the Hell is going on here? I remember seeing this "Art of War Jr
" here before. Then, the real thing was up; tried calling and calling to
see if Chucky had answered my mail, then this AGAIN. Well, this AOWJr.
will go away just as it did before, then reapear (strange how that
happens).
2222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222
222222222ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?2222222
2222222223 30022222
2222222223 The Art of War BBS is down and it is 30022222
2222222223 not coming back up. Thank you for 1.5 30022222
2222222223 great years! See ya in the funny papers... 30022222
2222222223 30022222
222222222@DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY0022222
22222222222000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000022222
22222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222
It also has said that before too. BTW, what does "see ya in the funny
paper
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 25
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JOE HEWLETT
Subject : What
Date/Time : 06-09-93 00:44:24
----------------------------------------
What happened, I had to work for awile and I came back to nothing. This
was a awsome bbs. I had alot of files to upload.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 27
To : NEW USER (public) (not read)
From : JOE BOB
Subject : what
Date/Time : 06-10-93 14:07:40
----------------------------------------
its purpose is to test modems you idoits
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Msg# : 29
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : KNEAL BOORTZ
Subject : missing person
Date/Time : 06-11-93 09:57:02
----------------------------------------
has anybody seen or heard from jesse teague lately, ithink he may have
moved to tennessee and started a religous cult, can anybody verify this.
see ya in the not so funny papers..............
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 30
To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : missing person
Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:04:37
----------------------------------------
yes i saw jesse teague in south pittsburg , tn. stocking up on
many fire works and ammuniation, he must be planning something big
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 31
To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : what
Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:07:08
----------------------------------------
who are you calling an idiot, you can't even spell idiot , you idiot?
who would want to test a modem anyway?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 32
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : politics
Date/Time : 06-11-93 10:11:15
----------------------------------------
how come nobody claims to have voted for bill clinton, now?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 33
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : DON GRAY
Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS
Date/Time : 06-11-93 13:06:29
----------------------------------------
TWAS' A BAD ASS BOARD......THIS BOARD ART OF WAR Jr. SUCKS OUT THE ASS
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 34
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JOHNNY BUNCH
Subject : TAoW
Date/Time : 06-11-93 14:36:10
----------------------------------------
Why did you decide to shut down? Hell if you are going to run JR....you
may as well start it back up. Give me a call some time.
Johnny
Warrior Base
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 35
To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : what
Date/Time : 06-11-93 21:23:25
----------------------------------------
Hey Joe Bob idoit. idoit is spelled idiot, you idiot.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 37
To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
From : RICK DAVIS
Subject : missing person
Date/Time : 06-12-93 01:51:02
----------------------------------------
I dunno, whyn't ya call the ATF in and find out. Heh.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 38
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RICK DAVIS
Subject : Tootles
Date/Time : 06-12-93 01:52:27
----------------------------------------
Chuck. Chuck!! Chuck!!!!!
Always dismayed to see a promising bbs go down, but understand totally
how time constraints and MONEY play heavy parts in your decision. I hop
everyone will learn from this and dig deep for the next FREE board that
comes along. There aren't many left. And Ya'll (thats right, Ya'll) go
to admit that for all the info and entertainment, you can't beat the
price. So, in closing, I would beseech you all to take what you have
learned here today and support your local sysops.
All this from a guy who never donated a red cent, but next time, I'll do
things differently.
Chuck, good luck in your future endeavors. As someone said before, Hope
to see ya on the boards.
And to all the rest of the users! Take care.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 40
To : GOD IN HEAVEN (public) (not read)
From : AXE HEAD
Subject : the death of a noble board
Date/Time : 06-12-93 12:10:28
----------------------------------------
oh my it seems another board has gone to a dark and watery grave now who
knows where i will get my death and violence fix? upload here.
be cool man there are other bbs's.
punctuation sucks>
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 41
To : SYSOP OF AOW JR. (public) (not read)
From : SETH MORRIS
Subject : why
Date/Time : 06-13-93 00:56:13
----------------------------------------
what the hell is wrong with this man you were going so good then
bang,shit city.
i was going to upload but i dont think i will now either stay up with a
real system or leave, plain and simple
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 42
To : SETH MORRIS (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : why
Date/Time : 06-13-93 08:59:12
----------------------------------------
so leave then
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 43
To : DON GRAY (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:01:13
----------------------------------------
nobody is forcing you to call, upload or get off
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 44
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : what
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:02:04
----------------------------------------
that jo bob guy is a serial killer, i saw him on americas most wanted!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 45
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:04:53
----------------------------------------
i think the art of war junior is great, please keep it going
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 46
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JESSE TEAGUE
Subject : me
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:24:25
----------------------------------------
contrary to popular belief, i am not missing
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 47
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : what
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:28:03
----------------------------------------
i am not a serial killer , i have not killed more than 2 people in a
1 year time span, i was not on americas most wanted, but america's
funniest videos, so there
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 48
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : see you soon
Date/Time : 06-13-93 09:31:20
----------------------------------------
hi chuck hope to see you real soon
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 49
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-13-93 10:28:56
----------------------------------------
bill clinton thinks he can tax and spend the us economy back into
prosperity, what a fool he is.
algore thinks the automobile is the # 1 threat to life on earth, and you
voted for these jerks.
we should impeach the president and her husband bill.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 50
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ED GRINGLEY
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 10:58:15
----------------------------------------
hey, i just found a hypo needle in my diet pepsi can, what should i do?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 51
To : ED GRINGLEY (public) (not read)
From : BOB GONZALEZ
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:01:06
----------------------------------------
ed , that's nothing , i found a 16 penny nail in my diet pepsi can, you
should consider yourself lucky, that it was only a needle.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 52
To : BOB GONZALEZ (public) (not read)
From : JANE HATHOWAY
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:05:20
----------------------------------------
wow yuo guys complain about little things like that , i found
22 pop rivets in my can of diet pepsi, it was absolutely terrifing
it almost riveted my tougue to the roof of my mouth.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 53
To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:11:06
----------------------------------------
that's nothing, i found the hood ornament to a 83 mercedes benz in my ca
of diet pepsi, and i don't even like diet pepsi.
i think the news media is to blame for these objects in all these diet
pepsi cans. i also think the cia killed kennedy. i also think the
government has captured live aliens in flying saucers, and has then in a
airforce base in the nevada desert. i also don't believe there were gas
chambers at altswich.
i know my views aren't popular but iam one who has never delt in
popularity.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 54
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:20:52
----------------------------------------
jo bob you are one weird guy,
i found a floppy disk in my can if diet pepsi, it worked just fine in my
macintosh disk drive, it had a stupid comm program on it called smartcom
ez.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 55
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:41:46
----------------------------------------
does anybody know how to get squirrels out of your attic?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 56
To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
From : LEON BOSHERDING
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:47:13
----------------------------------------
that's nothing , ifound the vienna boys choir in my diet pepsi can
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 57
To : LEON BOSHERDING (public) (not read)
From : A. ROONEY
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-13-93 11:59:05
----------------------------------------
did you eeever woonder why hot dogs come 8 to a pack, and hotdog buns
come 10 to a pack.
what's the difference between between hot dogs, weiners, and frankfurter
anyway?
by the way i found diet pepsi in my can of diet pepsi.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 58
To : KNEAL BOORTZ (public) (not read)
From : B. WILSON
Subject : zig zag
Date/Time : 06-13-93 12:18:47
----------------------------------------
looks like zell miller wants another 4 years as your governor, i guess
there are some more taxes he wants to raise that he couldn't get raised
in his first 4 years, he also raised many state licence fees to
astrnomical heights. what is he doing with all that EXTRA money?
by the way i found 12 ounces of a dark fizzy liquid in my diet pepsi can
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 59
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 06-13-93 12:59:17
----------------------------------------
there is this guy at work who overuses the word great, its driving me
crazy, i even heard him talking to a guy on the phone whose name was sco
and i heard him say that's great scott, no joke.
everything is great to this guy no in between at all.
i am sick of it what should i do?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 60
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : talk radio
Date/Time : 06-13-93 13:05:41
----------------------------------------
who had you rather listen to rush limbaugh or neal boortz
i prefer rush,
anyone care to comment on this?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 62
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : BOZO T. CLOWN
Subject : THE ART OF WAR BBS
Date/Time : 06-13-93 15:22:36
----------------------------------------
WHO SAYS ONLY CLOWNS CALL THIS BBS?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 68
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : ERICK SIDELL
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-14-93 10:51:22
----------------------------------------
put a radio up there and tune it to v103
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 69
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHRIS PRANCE
Subject : Hey!
Date/Time : 06-16-93 10:43:02
----------------------------------------
I never got to see the original AOW but I'm sure it was great, try and
get it back up.
Call my board at (404)-924-3587, It's Called The Chaotic Realm.
Running with Searchlight 3.0 24oo, 14.4
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 70
To : CHRIS PRANCE (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Hey!
Date/Time : 06-17-93 10:14:33
----------------------------------------
sounds like you have some problems dealing with reality, dude.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 71
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : me
Date/Time : 06-17-93 10:20:21
----------------------------------------
i am mr. cliche , i always avoid cliches like the plague.
remember dimes fly when you spend them on gun,
and don't forget the grass is always greener, when you mow the other sid
aand in parting i say one good burn deserves some butter.
this bbs is more fun than a barn full of donkeys.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 72
To : MR. CLICHE (public) (not read)
From : A. ROONEY
Subject : cliches
Date/Time : 06-17-93 13:07:23
----------------------------------------
did yoouu eeveer wonder why some people just can't get those old cliches
right.
for example, if the sandal fits strap it on.
or a bird on the land is not worth 2 in the water.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 74
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : PAT COLONEY
Subject : Alternate Board
Date/Time : 06-17-93 18:23:31
----------------------------------------
Flight simmers and general modem gamers will find others at the
Modem-CONNECTion 952-8981.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 75
To : PAT COLONEY (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Alternate Board
Date/Time : 06-17-93 20:48:46
----------------------------------------
Modem-CONNECTion eh? Sounds good, I will definately give it a call.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 76
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : feds
Date/Time : 06-18-93 10:21:23
----------------------------------------
i believe the feds bumped off conway twitty, just like they did to
roy orbenson
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 77
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : feds
Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:13:21
----------------------------------------
jo bob you are a very foolish person.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 78
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:14:15
----------------------------------------
this is the bestest bbs i ever seen
everybody should upload or get off.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 79
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : JAMES HARE
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 06-18-93 11:32:43
----------------------------------------
Oh my God, I've just found a 44 magnum in my diet pepsi, maybe it killed
JFK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 81
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Modem Test BBS!
Date/Time : 06-18-93 12:25:19
----------------------------------------
If you know of anyone who attempts to use SMARTCOM EZ to access the Mode
Test BBS, please report it to the SysOp immediately if not sooner.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 82
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Upload or Get Off
Date/Time : 06-18-93 12:34:19
----------------------------------------
hey, I uploaded a good file called PRO_GUN.TXT
be sure to check it out!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 83
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JIM HAYES
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 06-18-93 13:19:58
----------------------------------------
i think smartcomm ez is G R E A T
besides it takes 2 phone lines to test a modem
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 84
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Modem Test BBS!
Date/Time : 06-18-93 15:30:25
----------------------------------------
what if they're calling from stoned mountain
or kennesaw the only town in america with a decent gun law
you say you moved here from chicamauga , well welcome to america
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 86
To : JIM HAYES (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:28:28
----------------------------------------
You are an idjut.
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Msg# : 87
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Modem Test BBS!
Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:29:09
----------------------------------------
What's happenin' m a i n ???
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 89
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : NICK HUSTAK
Subject : Wow!
Date/Time : 06-18-93 22:58:19
----------------------------------------
This is the most interesting board I've ever logged on to...
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 90
To : NICK HUSTAK (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : Wow!
Date/Time : 06-23-93 08:27:06
----------------------------------------
i would have to agree, this is a very interestingly strange bbs
i call it at least 20 times a day if not more
it is a GREAT way to test your modem
if everybody sent Chuck $20 he could upgrade to a 14.4 kbaud modem
and maybe even to 2 comm lines
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Msg# : 91
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : spread the word
Date/Time : 06-23-93 08:31:40
----------------------------------------
help spread the word about the modem test bbs
I T S G R E A T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Msg# : 92
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : rush limbaugh
Date/Time : 06-23-93 11:30:59
----------------------------------------
todays rush limbaugh show will be on saturday on 640 am wgst from
1 till 3 pm, it's being interruped today for some stupid ball game.
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Msg# : 93
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : modem test
Date/Time : 06-23-93 13:12:57
----------------------------------------
i am actually calling just to test a modem, no joke.
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Msg# : 94
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 06-23-93 15:36:14
----------------------------------------
Hey! Lay off, I have a can of diet pepsi for a hood ornament.
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Msg# : 95
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-23-93 15:40:27
----------------------------------------
Hey Frogg,
I'm niether a democrap or a dumpublican, I just want to see my
constitutional right to nose picking preserved.
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Msg# : 98
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 09:28:33
----------------------------------------
you people who are in the middle of the road usually get run over!!!!!
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Msg# : 100
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 09:39:23
----------------------------------------
thats S. Frogg
you want have time to pick your nose if clinton gets his way, you will
be too busy paying taxes and conforming to new government regulations,
and Algore only wants you to drive your automobile 1 day per week.
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Msg# : 101
To : MR. CLICHE (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : CLICHE
Date/Time : 06-24-93 11:54:21
----------------------------------------
THERE IS NO USE CRYING OVER SLIT SILK.
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Msg# : 102
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 14:16:49
----------------------------------------
i agree bill clinton sucks
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Msg# : 103
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:25:48
----------------------------------------
Middle of the road , B.S.! If the entire planet were under our political
system there woul be no trade deficit, no taxes, no poverty, just genera
political anarchy. Ah, Utopianism!
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Msg# : 104
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:29:33
----------------------------------------
Ya know driving my firechicken would be more of a gas if it was illegal!
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Msg# : 105
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-24-93 18:31:36
----------------------------------------
Sure, but does Hilary? Come on baby get dem dentures out and lets have
some fun!
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Msg# : 106
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:05:56
----------------------------------------
i don't know what you're trying to say about what type of govt. you
are for, please elaborate.
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Msg# : 107
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:09:23
----------------------------------------
what is a firechicken, and how do you drive one?
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Msg# : 108
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:15:55
----------------------------------------
Well ya know I've often considered running for political office my self,
and if i were ever elected king i would force contentment on the entire
world, ya know like free orgies for everyone thrice daily. Seriously
though I think our political sys needs a complete overhaul you cant tell
the difference between the canidates anymore. History shows that times
like these need a dictitorial force to upset the balance a little.
whereis king nixon when ya need him? I dont want to make lite of the
vietnam thing, but it had its place in history, it woke people up,just
like the civil war and jfk assination. yeah i know we are in this
recession thing, but if your middle class employed or better it doesnt
really affect you, you dont go to bed at night worrying how you can
conquer the next day, you just do it and life gows on in a boring
chain. you dont care about that sleeping giant country out there waiting
to capitalize on the situation, you just dont think about and then its
pearl harbor all over again and we are in a world of doo-doo.
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Msg# : 109
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 12:29:07
----------------------------------------
its a barnyard fowl made by general motors, and driving is simple just
fully deprees horn then accelerator and dont stop for nothing, except
maybe to give that cheap lookin gloria steinham looking babe a ride to
her grandmother's for an eltriptophan( ya not even close) fix.
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Msg# : 111
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : SYSOP SORCERER
Subject : NEW BBS
Date/Time : 06-25-93 13:07:14
----------------------------------------
I am the sysop SORCERER. I have just opened a bbs. This bbs specializes
in games,text,rpg's. It is called THE SERENE CHAOS BBS. Please upload as
much as possible. Call between 12 noon and 12 midnight. Call me on voice
first and tell me what kind of files you want to see,hangup. Then call m
back at 2400bps. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. I'LL HAVE IT FIXED AS SOON
AS POSSIBLE.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////
THE SERENE CHAOS BBS. (404)445-2258 ////
//// UPLOADS REQUESTED.
////
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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Msg# : 112
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 14:52:15
----------------------------------------
sounds like you want another hitler to gain power in the us
and conquer the world, this will probably happen sooner or later
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Msg# : 113
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : CLICHE
Date/Time : 06-25-93 15:38:53
----------------------------------------
thats a good one
here's one , let sleeping dogs die
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Msg# : 114
To : PAUL SURRATT (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:04:37
----------------------------------------
You have some very weird ideas, no joke.
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Msg# : 115
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Hey....
Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:07:10
----------------------------------------
Whatever happened to that Steve Taylor guy who was going to solve all of
the problems at HSC ?
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Msg# : 116
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WORK
Date/Time : 06-25-93 19:08:09
----------------------------------------
About 50% of my job now is trying to figure out how to make our software
work with some weird brand of modem. No joke.
I worked on modem problems all day on Friday. I worked on three
problems, and only solved 2 of them in a whole day. No joke.
This is getting to be unacceptable.
There needs to be an ANSI standard on modem commands. The "de facto"
Hayes standard is a joke. Everyone supports the basic "AT" commands, bu
all the extended commands that handle compression, flow control, and
error correction are all completely different from manufacturer to
manufacturer. This sucks, no joke.
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Msg# : 117
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : STEVE DONELOW
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 06-25-93 20:38:12
----------------------------------------
WHAT HAPENED TO THE ART OF WAR?
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Msg# : 118
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JOHN AGAN
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...
Date/Time : 06-26-93 01:18:29
----------------------------------------
Hey, was tAoW good at all? I here it was. I think Jo Bob is cool, so
don't say nuttin' bad 'bout 'im eh? I jiz havta put my fokkin' boyz on
youz guyz, awrite? I kik yo'
fokkin' ass from here to fokkin' ITALY! By the way, Jo Bob...please
respond to this message, or I'll plant a bomb in your firechicken!!!
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Msg# : 119
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : ROBERT OLSEN
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-27-93 22:47:35
----------------------------------------
Jo Bob: does anybody know how to get squittels out of your attic?
Yeah, leave some walnuts on the kitchen table.
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Msg# : 120
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : ROBERT OLSEN
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 06-27-93 22:50:01
----------------------------------------
Tell him off.
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Msg# : 121
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : DIFFERENT GUY
Subject : Good Software
Date/Time : 06-28-93 08:23:08
----------------------------------------
Hey, I am looking for a good pirate computer game called "BUBBLE GHOST."
Anyone ever heard of it? I hear it is excellent.
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Msg# : 122
To : JOHN AGAN (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...
Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:12:13
----------------------------------------
look, i don't know what a fokkin' fire chicken is , so fokk off, dude.
go and bother that fokkin paul surrett guy,
i bet you're really that fokkin mr. cliche guy, any way
or you're some illegal alien wwith an expired green card
i think this crazy weather we are having is caused by that loud
humming noise people keep hearing in hueytown alabama
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Msg# : 123
To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:21:37
----------------------------------------
walnuts are only good for twilolites, whose leader is kolak , i can't
tell you rest or i would have to kill you.
is a squittels anything like a firechicken?
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Msg# : 124
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : bbs
Date/Time : 06-28-93 09:29:44
----------------------------------------
you have got some crazy people logging onto this bbs, no joke.
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Msg# : 127
To : DIFFERENT GUY (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : Good Software
Date/Time : 06-28-93 10:37:09
----------------------------------------
bubble g. only runs on a macintosh, using an external
floppy drive , that you can get anywhere.
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Msg# : 128
To : FOLLOWERS OF CHEESCAKE (public) (not read)
From : JARED WOELPER
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH
Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:07:21
----------------------------------------
WHAT HAPPPPENED!!!!!
I GUESS THE GODS OF CHEESE ARE NOT WITH US ANY MORE!!
OH BY THE WAY ANY BODY KNOW WHERE I CAN GET LAND OF DEVASTATION (DOOR
GAME)
CALL LIGHTNING SHOCKS BBS (404) 916-1616
BEST AROUND SINCE A.O.W. WENT DOWN
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Msg# : 129
To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH
Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:19:02
----------------------------------------
what do you mean what happened?
followers of cheescake indeed
whose got a lottery ticket, i need a lottery ticket
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Msg# : 130
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : virus
Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:21:36
----------------------------------------
have you virus scanned those files in the up/down load area, just
wondering?
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Msg# : 131
To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 06-28-93 12:32:36
----------------------------------------
how can i tell him off, i have t work with him everyday
telling him off would only make things worse
maybe jo bob will give me some good advice
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Msg# : 134
To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:51:30
----------------------------------------
i think you may have squirrels in your head.
i once had a ferret in my overalls.
i do not mess with gerbels.
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Msg# : 135
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:54:25
----------------------------------------
weird is an understatement, lunantic is better!!!!!!!!!
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Msg# : 136
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Hey....
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:55:52
----------------------------------------
what is the hsc ?
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Msg# : 137
To : STEVE DONELOW (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:56:48
----------------------------------------
nothing hap(p)ended to the art of war , the phone number is now
unlisted and only a select few people are allowed to call.
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Msg# : 138
To : ROBERT OLSEN (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:58:40
----------------------------------------
the humor in this comment really escapes me.
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Msg# : 139
To : DIFFERENT GUY (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Good Software
Date/Time : 06-29-93 08:59:24
----------------------------------------
hey you different guy, why do you sound so much
like elvis.
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Msg# : 140
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : anything
Date/Time : 06-29-93 09:03:23
----------------------------------------
either leave some good messages or GET OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
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Msg# : 141
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : wsb,,,we suck & blither
Date/Time : 06-29-93 11:20:27
----------------------------------------
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Msg# : 143
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : anything
Date/Time : 06-29-93 13:14:28
----------------------------------------
jo bob what do you mean by good messages
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Msg# : 144
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-29-93 13:16:21
----------------------------------------
i think taxes should be increased to help reduce the deficets
if you mak over $15000 you shoud pay at least 45 % in federal taxes
if you make over $30000 you should pay 75 % in federal taxes
if you make over $100000 you should pay 90 % in federal taxes
this would assure the government has enough money to run on.
i don't see how anybody could disagree with this.
these tax rates only make sence for america
nothing is more american than paying your fair share of taxes.
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Msg# : 146
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Nuttin' Honey...
Date/Time : 06-29-93 18:55:08
----------------------------------------
Hahaha. Hello, Mr. Bob. Or should I say "Granny Mae". Or should I say
"Earl 'The Pearl' Robinson. Or should I say "Alex 'Beefhaed'
Simmons"
R
Or should I say "Alex 'Beefhead Axe Brain' Simmons". Or should I say
Bobby 'The Severely Sexually Handicapped' Rogers". Or should I say Peter
'Pumpkin and Egg Salad Eater". We have all of the aliases here down at
the GBI main office. We're on your trail mister, and we're going to catc
you. We don't know what you have done, but we'll find something!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 147
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : sex and gore
Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:00:11
----------------------------------------
Severley Deranged is more appropriate!!! Or mentally scrambled!!!
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Msg# : 148
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:13:30
----------------------------------------
Maybe if you learned to spell you could write that up and sent it to the
government!!!
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Msg# : 149
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:19:00
----------------------------------------
Hey, would you mind giving me the number to that??? PLEASE!!!
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Msg# : 150
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Hey....
Date/Time : 06-29-93 19:19:41
----------------------------------------
The HSC is the "Home Shopping Cult", on cable channel 24. They use the
channel to sell discounted items to select cult members, such as altars,
sacrificial accessories, goat's blood, etc. They also own and operate a
24-hour Muffler Repair/Sushi Shack in the metro Kansas City area. They
have a BBS, right here in Atlanta, too! Call 666-4355 today! New Users
are always welcome!*
- New Users must complete a sacrifice to get validated, so be prepared
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Msg# : 152
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : BRANDON BLOUNT
Subject : Insane peoples
Date/Time : 06-30-93 01:18:54
----------------------------------------
YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE! but I like it. Jo Bob, I bow to your imaginatio
and piss on your grand-parents thrice-removed cat named Toby Huffy-wheel
meat person. LOVE ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ahem. Does anybody remember the
old softdrink pathetic attempts to give away money by having a can say
"You Win!"? I heard the only winner was a man who spent 14 days in the
desert with no food, water, or attractive frogs to "fokk" with. He foun
the machine in the middle of the desert and put in his only 50 cents. H
screamed &#%^&*>""}%&*P:$?&># and died right then. The can was never
found. I hear God has a new plan for us. He made a God-woman (you know
how women want so muchpower) and decided that each and every one of us
will make organic condoms for his erotic deity-like love-life style
thingy. Oh, well.... LOVE ME! ME! ME! ME! I thinkyou great people leav
great messages and at my great place of work, I will greatly hunt down
the great person who talked greatly of my great use of the great word
"great" great. The great rumors of my great death have greatly been
GREATLY exagerated greatly great great. LOVE ME! MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!..
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 154
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : AARRRRRRGHHH
Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:14:14
----------------------------------------
But you do have some cheese?
...Of course... this is a cheese shop!
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Msg# : 155
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : work
Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:14:57
----------------------------------------
One good way to tell if a new employee is going to be a poor employee is
to follow him to lunch. If he eats at Cleves multiple times and still
chooses to go back, then he or she is a poor employee.
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Msg# : 156
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:16:42
----------------------------------------
Anyone who agrees with a tax increase is an idiot.
Why can't we find anyone who will ADMIT that they voted for Clinton??
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 157
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 06-30-93 08:57:29
----------------------------------------
1800-eat-shit
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Msg# : 158
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:01:30
----------------------------------------
i think paul surrett and tony good voted for billary clintax
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Msg# : 159
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : messages
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:02:45
----------------------------------------
you people who keep leaving me messages thinking i am a queer will
be sadly dissappointed, you know who you are
remember the sysop can read your private messages.
did you know that they have discovered ancient civilizations on
Mars , but nasa is keeping it covered up,,, i saw it on tv so it
must be true.
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Msg# : 160
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : work
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:07:24
----------------------------------------
does anybody out there actually look forward to going to work.
or do you hate your job as much as i do.
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Msg# : 161
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : work
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:12:27
----------------------------------------
i know this guy where i work , the same guy who says the word
great all the time, who would rather come to work than
take care of family matters, that need attending to.
i heard him say to his wife on the phone one day
i am not going to miss an hour of work just to take his
daughter to school, caused she missed the bus, so he came on to work
and left his daughter at home
this same guy also stays at work about 1 to 2 hours past his
go home time, everyday nobody knows why and he wont say why
when you ask him, is this a fool or what?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 162
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:37:00
----------------------------------------
i voted for him and think he's doing a fine job
i hate that rush limball guy
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Msg# : 163
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : work
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:38:46
----------------------------------------
why do you defile such a good place to eat, i ate
there often when i worked on buford hiway
the only place left still run by americans in chambodia
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Msg# : 164
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:42:31
----------------------------------------
i think you mean send not sent so who'se telling who how to spell now.
let him who has never misspelled a word or too cast the first stone
even if he does say Jehova.
i think you have been cheating on your taxes , i will report you
to IRS(irwin r. schiester)
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Msg# : 165
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : MR. CLICHE
Subject : new
Date/Time : 06-30-93 09:50:56
----------------------------------------
has anybody heard any new cliches lately????
here's one , abitch in time saves wine
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Msg# : 166
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CY SPERLING
Subject : hair club for men
Date/Time : 06-30-93 10:17:38
----------------------------------------
i know for a fact that spray on hair stuff causes cancer and is
bad for the environment
help me spread the word
ban spray on hair in a can
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Msg# : 167
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : work
Date/Time : 06-30-93 12:42:06
----------------------------------------
yes, that guy is truly a fool
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Msg# : 168
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : JIM HAYES
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 14:01:07
----------------------------------------
i agree we need to pay more taxes
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Msg# : 169
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JIM HAYES
Subject : Hey....
Date/Time : 06-30-93 14:03:12
----------------------------------------
i am a memember of the cult PAGAN, people against goodness and normalcy
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Msg# : 170
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : you
Date/Time : 06-30-93 16:48:01
----------------------------------------
look in the mirror for a good laugh
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Msg# : 171
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY
Subject : Why ask why
Date/Time : 06-30-93 18:43:01
----------------------------------------
What is this junk? Art of war to art of war jr. And now this joke abou
just testing your modem? If the systop is going to keep this bbs running
24hrs a day why doesn't he just put up a good on (like the art of war)
hint hint.
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Msg# : 172
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : BRAD FORMBY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 06-30-93 22:28:16
----------------------------------------
Rush LIMBAUGH kicks ass!
Die Democrat scum!
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Msg# : 173
To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Why ask why
Date/Time : 07-01-93 01:24:05
----------------------------------------
Because, Paxy, people like you use fake names for more access time and
upload adult files in the children's section and leave obscene remarks i
your messages and use the alias "SYSOPSUX" and throw cans at the pigeons
and put LSD in school cafeteria food and vote for Bill Clinton and work
in Cleves in Chambodia and put viruses in the uploaded files to destroy
the SysOp's hard drive!!!
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Msg# : 174
To : BRAD FORMBY (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 07-01-93 01:26:44
----------------------------------------
I think you should dye Democratic scum purple, and affix small nipple
tassles for the kiddies...
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Msg# : 176
To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Why ask why
Date/Time : 07-01-93 09:44:52
----------------------------------------
this is not junk this is the best bbs around,
if you don't like it don't call or start your own
bbs and stop leaching off others.
don't you think maynard did a good thing in
vetoing that domestic partnership bill, passed by
the atlanta city council?
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Msg# : 177
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : work
Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:25:40
----------------------------------------
What is really funny is that this guy stays late at work but doesn't
actually do any extra work during this extra time. No joke.
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Msg# : 178
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:26:46
----------------------------------------
Question: Does hard work payoff?
TRUE or FALSE ?
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Msg# : 179
To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Why ask why
Date/Time : 07-01-93 11:35:58
----------------------------------------
What makes you think that testing your modem is a joke?
This is serious business buddy!
I am testing a modem right now.... no joke.
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Msg# : 180
To : PAXTON BILLINGSLEY (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : Why ask why
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:24:14
----------------------------------------
what is a systop
this is a good bbs
i like to pay my taxes
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Msg# : 181
To : BRAD FORMBY (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:25:21
----------------------------------------
rush limpball is a big fat stupid dumb no nothing,,, fat
jerk , who is out of touch with real people
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Msg# : 182
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : taxes
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:29:25
----------------------------------------
it just doesn't pay to work hard
but you need to pay your taxes
chuck have you heard from eric eidbo lately.
the irs is looking for him
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Msg# : 183
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:33:41
----------------------------------------
look in my mirror for a good laugh
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Msg# : 184
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : compuserve
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:34:58
----------------------------------------
how do i log on to compuserve, is it free
is it as good as this bbs
do i need a modem
do i need an external floppy drive
can i use m macintosh or do i need a pc type computer
or should i get the best computer the amiga
how does a modem work anyway
what are some advantages of compuserve over this bbs
do i have to use my real name on compuserve
can i send a message to that fat slob (lush bimball)
i hate bash bimbo i can't stand to listen to that guy
for 3 and 1/2 hours a day, they should
taaaake him off the air , so i wont have to hear him
is it illegal to download r rated gif files
where can i get them?
i don't know much about computers, but i amlearning
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Msg# : 185
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : GREYTON SIMMS
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-01-93 12:47:26
----------------------------------------
I WAS TOLD THIS WAS THE ART OF WAR
WHERE IS THE ART OF WAR?
WHAT IS THERE NUMBER?
THIS BOARD REALLY SUCKS
PLEASE POST THE NUMBER FOR THE ART OF WAR!!!!!
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Msg# : 186
To : ANY ONE (public) (not read)
From : JARED WOELPER
Subject : clinton
Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:12:58
----------------------------------------
I VOTED FOR CLINTON AND AM PROUD OF IT!!!!
WITH HIM YOU JUST CANT WINNNN!!
BY THE WAY ... ANYBODY SEEN KENNEDY LATLEY
OR NIXON OR PAUL LENNON OR GEORGE BUSH OR EVEN MICKEY MOUSE
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THE CLOWNS ARE BREEDING IN THE SEWERS!!
IM OKAY
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Msg# : 189
To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : clinton
Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:43:05
----------------------------------------
HEY MR. JARHEAD WALLPAPER
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
WHY DO YOU LIVE IN THE SEWER?
WHY COULDN'T TODAY BE FRIDAY?
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Msg# : 190
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : YOU
Date/Time : 07-01-93 15:44:55
----------------------------------------
HEY MR. S. FROGG WHAT DOES THE S. STAND FOR???HUH?
CAN YOU BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAVE THE NAME
TURNIPSEED,,,,, THIS IS THE STUPIDIST NAME I EVER
HEARD OF, CAN ANYBODY TOP THAT!!!!!!
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Msg# : 191
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : yourself
Date/Time : 07-01-93 16:44:50
----------------------------------------
jo bob, huh
is your brothers name billy bob
or maybe jo frank harris
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Msg# : 192
To : GREYTON SIMMS (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-01-93 20:04:51
----------------------------------------
1-800-EAT-SHIT
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Msg# : 193
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : YOU
Date/Time : 07-01-93 20:06:26
----------------------------------------
Yeah, I can top that: Frogg!
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Msg# : 194
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHRIS BISHOP
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 01:05:27
----------------------------------------
Is the Art of War BBS down, or is it permanently gone? I am looking for
some boards dedicated to modem play. Any suggestions would be
appreciated. Thanks!
Chris Bishop
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Msg# : 196
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Ballistics
Date/Time : 07-02-93 02:32:54
----------------------------------------
Looking For... Ballistics data on fifty cal desert eagle. Need to
ascertain components for commercial loads. If anyone has any
noncatastrophic hand load data for that weapon it would also be greatly
appreciated. Would also appreciate any info concerning lead fouling of
the gas return port. Would like approximate number of rounds fired
through which model eagle (Caliber is important here) and what ammo was
used. Could also use data in lug wear of the roller bolt. 50 data is
probably scarce but any info would be appreciated. Any subjective data
concerning the weapon used in tactical situations would also be nice.
Thank you for any pertinant info.
.s
?
?
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Msg# : 197
To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : what
Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:43:00
----------------------------------------
BOY! you're smart. Could you share more of your wisdom with us?
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Msg# : 198
To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : clinton
Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:53:01
----------------------------------------
You're really c00l... I wish I could be like you... no joke...
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Msg# : 199
To : EVERYONE THAT HAS ANY SENSE... (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 09:55:27
----------------------------------------
I can't for the life of me figure out why Chuck can run this BBS 24 hour
a day, but not The Art Of War. Is it because of hard drive space, WHAT?
Maybe I can help. I'm sure you get a lot of feedback about how this BBS
really sucks, so I won't say anything..
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Msg# : 200
To : CHRIS BISHOP (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:04:15
----------------------------------------
THE ART OF WAR IS GOING DOWN AS SOON AS THE LAST PERSON
CALLS!!!!!! UNTIL THEN CONTINUE TO CALL 1-800-EAT-SHIT
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Msg# : 201
To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:07:36
----------------------------------------
TO EACH HIS OWN , CHUCK RUNS THIS BECAUSE HE WANTS TO AND
NOT BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO
APPARENLY YOU HAVE NO SENCE OF HUMOR
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Msg# : 203
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : YOU
Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:34:34
----------------------------------------
I CAN TOP THAT GOOD(FORNOTHING)
HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAAA!!!
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Msg# : 204
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : YOURSELF
Date/Time : 07-02-93 10:40:04
----------------------------------------
HEY JO BOB, GUY WHAT IS YOUR LAST NAME, I BET
ITS TURNIPSEED, OR FICKLESTEIN OR SOMETHING
STUPID,
FROGG IS A GOOD OLD ENGLISH NAME,,, IT GOES BACK MANY
HUNDREDS OF YEARS.
HEY JOHN KELLY PAY YOUR OWN TAXES
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Msg# : 205
To : S.FROGG (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : TAXES
Date/Time : 07-02-93 11:49:16
----------------------------------------
I ALWAYS PAY MY FAIR SHARE OF TAXES, YOU SHOULD TOO.
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Msg# : 207
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CY SPERLING
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-02-93 13:31:05
----------------------------------------
what do you people think of that barney kids show
i don't like it
i think its bad for kids
why should my kid have more respect for a fake
purple
dinasaur than he does for me?
i welcome comments on this
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Msg# : 209
To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-02-93 14:24:19
----------------------------------------
hey cy , get a life
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Msg# : 210
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : me
Date/Time : 07-02-93 15:34:54
----------------------------------------
i am going out of town and wont be back till
tuesday, i look forwar to some good
messages when i get back
i have a big weekend planned, i am going
over to broadick crawfords house and
we are going to rotate my tires.
answer: bill clinton, arelio rodriguez, bill clinton
question: name a hick, a spiek and a butt lick
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Msg# : 211
To : JARED WOELPER (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : clinton
Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:17:44
----------------------------------------
Anyone seen Spanky lately?
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Msg# : 212
To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:19:18
----------------------------------------
I really need a 14.4 kbaud modem.
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Msg# : 213
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-02-93 18:20:08
----------------------------------------
I would appreciate it if you would stop all of your damn profanity.
There is NO NEW NUMBER for The Art of War BBS. It is down.
It might come back again someday but not until I can get some decent
equipment to run it on. My current computer system is 386SX 16mhz with
40 meg hard drive and is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE for today's computing need
I just don't have the money or time to run the Art of War they way it
deserves to be run. My most humble apologies to all former AoW users.
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Msg# : 214
To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:06:33
----------------------------------------
Barney is a child molester. (The guy in the suit;not the voice) He was
arrested a little while back for child molestation, but never sentenced
and let out on bail. I think if they are going to have a DINOSAUR show,
it should be violent,(Dinos eating kids, etc.) T.V. today doesn't have
enough funny violence and death. I think the show should be more graphic
and explicit in nature. Any comments?
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Msg# : 215
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:09:41
----------------------------------------
We all do, buddy!!! Quit whining and go buy one!
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Msg# : 216
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-03-93 00:11:17
----------------------------------------
What software are you using for this little BBS? It looks interesting.
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Msg# : 217
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ANDY JENKS
Subject : huh
Date/Time : 07-03-93 13:19:21
----------------------------------------
Just called cause I found the number in a magazine...what's going on
here? It's a serious question.
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Msg# : 218
To : CY SPERLING (public) (not read)
From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Barney
Date/Time : 07-04-93 14:08:04
----------------------------------------
In reply to your question of why kids respect Barney and not you.
Maybe Barney has earned it.....
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Msg# : 219
To : JANE HATHOWAY (public) (not read)
From : CHRIS CRAIG
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-04-93 15:55:02
----------------------------------------
Now we know why they came out with "Crystal Pepsi." It's much easier to
see the Hypo Needles in.
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Msg# : 220
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : LORD FREAK
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:16:04
----------------------------------------
Didn't you see? Its running on Qmodem Host. You know, that popular com
program.
Pssst! Hey, yeah you. Do you know the password to shell out to DOS?
/s
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Msg# : 221
To : ANDY JENKS (public) (not read)
From : LORD FREAK
Subject : huh
Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:17:26
----------------------------------------
What magazine do you find BBS numbers in?
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Msg# : 222
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : LORD FREAK
Subject : nothing
Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:18:33
----------------------------------------
Hey, Chuck, did you delete all your files from Art of War when you took
it down? I never saw the former board but would guess there were some
neat files on it. Put some in the d/l section for us, will ya?
I'm new around here. Just call me Lordy or just Freak.
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Msg# : 223
To : CHUCK (public) (not read)
From : LORD FREAK
Subject : files
Date/Time : 07-05-93 03:21:05
----------------------------------------
Can I upload anything I want to this board? Let's make this a pirate
board! Yeah! Except it kind of sucks at 24oo baud.
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Msg# : 224
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:53:50
----------------------------------------
This bbs is actually the "host mode" of the popular Qmodem communication
package.
FYI
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Msg# : 225
To : ANDY JENKS (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : huh
Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:54:26
----------------------------------------
What magazine did you find the number in? Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler
Hahahaha...
Seriously, this is the Modem Test BBS. Call anytime just to test your
modem.
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Msg# : 226
To : CHRIS CRAIG (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:55:19
----------------------------------------
My aunt is a diabetic and she went to the drug store to fill her
perscription for hypodermic needles. When she got home she found that
her needles were filled with Pepsi!
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Msg# : 227
To : LORD FREAK (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : files
Date/Time : 07-05-93 18:57:04
----------------------------------------
This is a 9600 baud BBS.
Please do not upload Pirate material as I will go to jail and probably b
butt-raped by a big black guy named Tyrone.
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Msg# : 228
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : 96oo baud modems
Date/Time : 07-06-93 00:56:42
----------------------------------------
Anyone know how much a slightly used or used 96oo baud modem cost? If yo
can't find a used one, how much is a new one?
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Msg# : 229
To : LORD FREAK (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-06-93 00:58:25
----------------------------------------
No, man. The shell password is not /s.
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Msg# : 230
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Shell 2 DOS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:00:31
----------------------------------------
Does the shell to DOS function shell to my DOS or your DOS? If your DOS,
please give me the password to it! Leave me a private message. PLEASE!
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Msg# : 231
To : PAT COLONEY (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Yo!
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:03:59
----------------------------------------
You should try Renegade. It is a VERY easy BBS to install, and it is ver
widely supported. I'm working on it now, and it'll be up and running
soon. I'll post the number when I'm finished.
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Msg# : 232
To : JOE HEWLETT (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : What
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:05:36
----------------------------------------
Well, if you want to upload the files, do it! The AOWJr. needs them! We
need them!
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Msg# : 233
To : ALL NEW COMPLAINERS! (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:07:47
----------------------------------------
Hey all you new users! If you saw the old Art of War, you saw how good i
was. I am speaking on the SysOp's behalf;hopefully he agrees with me; to
say that this BBS is cool! It may not be the best in files, but the
messages KICK ASS! If you wanna be a fuckhead and complain about this
BBS, DON'T FUCKING CALL AGAIN! I don't want to hear any more complaints
about the best message base in Atlanta. If you do, I'll be sure the SysO
deletes your stupid, little, irate remarks from the messages! And by the
way...if you have any good files to upload, PLEASE DO IT! We all would b
grateful!
Thanx!
Tony Good
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Msg# : 235
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : GOOD MESSAGES
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:21:22
----------------------------------------
This is the only good message you got while you were gone. Sorry...
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Msg# : 237
To : MODEM TESTERS (public) (not read)
From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 01:44:44
----------------------------------------
There is a new BBS called "En-Forum BBS". Within a few days it will be
14.4. Growing file area w/ latest updates. 404-484-8378. Keep in mind
that this is new, there might be a bug or two. Just leave the sysop a
note, or me "max".
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Msg# : 241
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : NORMAN SWARTZKOPF
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 02:39:19
----------------------------------------
Get a life, Tony. Really. Blah, Blah, Blah, upload please? What a geek.
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Msg# : 243
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : GARY STEELE
Subject : Ballistics
Date/Time : 07-06-93 12:18:31
----------------------------------------
Probably the BEST place to get ballistics data for the 50 cal DE would b
Magnum Research itself. After all they designed the sucker.....try
giving them a call at 612-574-1868. If they can't or won't help you,
they could probably tell you where to go (for the info that is....).....
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Msg# : 244
To : ANY SERIOUS WARGAMERS LEFT (public) (not read)
From : GARY STEELE
Subject : Empire Deluxue update
Date/Time : 07-06-93 12:24:10
----------------------------------------
I got the update for Empire Deluxe last week, and called here expecting
the old Art of War and had planned to upload if it no one had beat me t
it. Anyone interested in a copy can leave me mail on Shareware South,
Data Dimension, or PCUG's Com1 and I'll put it on one of those boards...
I believe its updating to ver. 3.1. Fixes a few bugs and the like I'm
told (I haven't had the free time to install it yet.).
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Msg# : 247
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : GEYSERS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:21:30
----------------------------------------
DID YOU KNOW THAT 2/3rds OF ALL GEYSERS IN THE WORLD ARE
IN YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, NO JOKE.
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Msg# : 248
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:23:01
----------------------------------------
DID YOU KNOW THTA IF DON'T CALL THIS
BBS WITH AN ERROR CORRECTING MODEM
YOU GET A LOT OF GARBAGE ON THE SCREEN, NO JOKE
PS WHO ARE ALL THOSE WEIRD PEOPLE WHO KEEP
CALLING THIS BBS. NO JOKE
THIS IS NOT A JOKE , NO JOKE, HAAABAHAAAAHAAHAHHAHAHAH
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Msg# : 249
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : Art of War?
Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:29:34
----------------------------------------
LOOK I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL PROFANITY IS?
SO GO AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!!!
THE NEW NUMBER FFOR THE REAL ART OF WAR BBS
IS 404-894-2$%^
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Msg# : 250
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-06-93 13:31:49
----------------------------------------
ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT MY
HERO BARNEY FIFE OR WHAT
I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
SOMETHING SERIOUS INSTEAD OF ALL THIS
DINASAUR CRAP!!!
HAVE THEY EVER FOUND ANY FOSSILISED DINASAUR DUNG????
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Msg# : 251
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CY SPERLING
Subject : GEYSERS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:05:07
----------------------------------------
did you know that 2/3 of all the geesers in the world
are in florida and arizona
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Msg# : 252
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : modem
Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:10:08
----------------------------------------
can i call this bbs even if
i am not testing my modem, just wondering
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Msg# : 253
To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:11:21
----------------------------------------
joe bob why are you
such an opnoxious fool
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Msg# : 254
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 14:25:58
----------------------------------------
New BBS. "En-Forum BBS"-404-484-8378. Soon to be 14.4. Give it a call
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Msg# : 255
To : MAX HOWSER (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 15:10:55
----------------------------------------
why should we call this new bbs
probably just another sysop begging for money
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Msg# : 256
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : rush limbaugh
Date/Time : 07-06-93 15:12:46
----------------------------------------
now that rush limbaugh is on wgst all
weekend
what has happened to Slob and ROB?
eric sidel is a cheapskape
why did bill clinton go to philladelphia?
because they couldn't blame the crack in the liberty bell on him!
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Msg# : 257
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:03:17
----------------------------------------
what do you mean by a "good" file
the sysop does not allow triple xxx rated stuff here. does he?
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Msg# : 258
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:08:40
----------------------------------------
i guess it takes one to know one
by the way how are your electro shock
treatments coming
you are a mental midget compared to me
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Msg# : 259
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : modem test
Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:11:58
----------------------------------------
how exactly does this bbs test your
modem anyway
does anybody know?
is it run by hayes?
does this modem test . check your
modem for virsus, how do i know
if my modem tests ok, will i get a letter in the mail
or somthing or will it be announced over the radio
i am very confused, but not as much as tony good or john kelly
or that idiot who wanted ballistics information for
some non exsistant gun, i still laugh
when i read that message
s. frogg you are a coward
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Msg# : 260
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : address
Date/Time : 07-06-93 16:20:41
----------------------------------------
where do i mail my money to for
membership in this bbs
and how much should i send
will i also get a copy of the limbaugh letter
if i act before midnight?
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Msg# : 262
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:09:24
----------------------------------------
Yes, they have found fossilized dino shit, and sell it in some places in
the U.S.
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Msg# : 263
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:11:58
----------------------------------------
Hmmm...if the SysOp does allow XXX stuff on here, upload it. If he
doesn't upload it.
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Msg# : 264
To : NORMAN SWARTZKOPF (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 17:16:36
----------------------------------------
I think your brain is just rotting from all of that bong resin from the
60s when you did that "wacky tobbaccee" with your mom in your incestious
relationships with both your parents and your siblings and your dog and
Mr. Rogers and The Muppets...And also, you FUCKING SUCKED in Desert Stor
To all you persons:Doesn't "Desert Shield" sound like a Maxi pad on t.v.
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Msg# : 265
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Yo!
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:06:20
----------------------------------------
What's wrong with Qmodem Host ?? Huh?
I am not open to any new suggestions concerning bbs software.
Thank you.
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Msg# : 266
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:07:44
----------------------------------------
You have perfectly echoed my sentiments concerning callers who complain.
Thanks.
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Msg# : 267
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:10:00
----------------------------------------
Is this a joke? It wasn't quite clear from your message.
If you have a problem with line noise, you probably should have your
phone line checked. Or perhaps you should use two phone lines. Or
upgrade to Smartcom EZ. Or not.
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Msg# : 268
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:12:11
----------------------------------------
Believe it or not, this is an official geological term for fossilized
dinosaur shit. It is called cocolith. No joke.
If you don't believe me, look it up.
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Msg# : 269
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modem
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:13:40
----------------------------------------
I'm sorry, but you can only call this bbs if you are testing your modem.
But look at it this way.... modems can go bad at any time right? So you
should test your modem daily, right? So you should make it a habit to
call the Modem Test BBS daily just to be sure that everything is still
working. If you are able to get through, it is a successful test.
No joke.
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Msg# : 270
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:14:57
----------------------------------------
Are you any kin to David Duke??
Just wondering.
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Msg# : 271
To : MAX HOWSER (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:15:34
----------------------------------------
Are you any kin to Doogie Howser?
Just wondering.
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Msg# : 272
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:16:01
----------------------------------------
The only way I will call new bbs's is if they offer free pornographic
downloads on the first call.
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Msg# : 273
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:17:30
----------------------------------------
I only allow single "x" rated stuff. Not triple "x".
Call the Buckhead Cinema for a detailed description of the difference.
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Msg# : 274
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modem test
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:20:31
----------------------------------------
You realize of course that you don't have to read ALL of the messages AL
of the time, don't you?
Or are you really a mental midget like that guy said?
There really is a .50 cal Desert Eagle handgun, btw.
No joke.
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Msg# : 275
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : address
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:21:45
----------------------------------------
You should send $175 to:
3399 Peachtree Rd NE
The Lenox Building, Suite 700
Atlanta, Ga 30326
Attn: Jim Beesman.
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Msg# : 276
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:23:42
----------------------------------------
I think Norman Schwartzkoff did an excellent job during Desert Storm and
anybody who thinks he didn't probably voted for Clinton.
P.S. Why didn't we use the .50 cal Desert Eagle during the Desert Storm
operation? Huh? Maybe because we didn't have the ballistics yet that
that guy still can't find?
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Msg# : 277
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Geysers vs Geesers
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:28:16
----------------------------------------
I agree with that guy that most of the geesers are in florida and arizon
Don't some of the geesers drive motorhomes to go visit the geysers at
Yellowstone? Isn't this a pretty common occurance?
Wouldn't it be confusing if all of the geesers and the geysers were at
Yellowstone at the same time?
Man....
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Msg# : 278
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Ballistics
Date/Time : 07-06-93 18:31:27
----------------------------------------
You should call Warrior Base BBS run by Johnny Bunch. He has a lot of
ballistic data available for download, but no pornography.
Or you could check recent back issues of Guns-N-Ammo magazine.
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Msg# : 279
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:38:05
----------------------------------------
I have a sence of humor. I just don't think that this is funny!
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Msg# : 280
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:38:51
----------------------------------------
I have a couple of 14.4's, but unfortuantly you can't have one.
/s
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Msg# : 281
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-06-93 20:40:02
----------------------------------------
If you guys and gals are intersted in a cool new BBS, then call
wAcKyLaNd....(404)938-7665. It is free. It is a 14.4 baud rate. It is a
message and gamers BBS. Currently running under Renegade. It also has
some other interesting stuff to it (heheheheh).
MoonDawg...Co-SysOp...of...wAcKyLaNd
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Msg# : 282
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Yo!
Date/Time : 07-07-93 00:51:10
----------------------------------------
I didn't mean that message to be for *you* it was a new reply to an old
message. Some guy name Joel or something. I think Qmodem Host is alright
so don't change it!
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Msg# : 283
To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-07-93 00:54:53
----------------------------------------
How much will you sell one for? I might buy one...
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Msg# : 284
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : 14.4
Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:01:52
----------------------------------------
i have several 14.4 's unfortunately they are
all bad.
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Msg# : 285
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:06:46
----------------------------------------
you can here this same guy at work
from the time he walks in the door
cause he makes this clippy clop sound
and he always carrys a plastic sack
that rattles in conjunction with this
clippy clop sound he makes , it really is
driving me crazy, i have got to find a new job
before i loose my mind
what should i do????????????????????????????????
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Msg# : 290
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : barney
Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:20:49
----------------------------------------
who pulled your string today?
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Msg# : 291
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:21:38
----------------------------------------
i heard tony good has a pornagraphic memory!!!!!!
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Msg# : 292
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-07-93 10:23:37
----------------------------------------
what is the number for the buckhead cinema
tony good wants to know????????
i am not interested in x rated material since it
is illegal to transfer over the phone line
the fbi will lock your ass up if they find out
what all can you see in single x, just wondering?
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Msg# : 294
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : xxx files
Date/Time : 07-07-93 11:10:57
----------------------------------------
check out the xxx files in the down load section
they're GREAT
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Msg# : 295
To : WILL STARKE (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : WHY?
Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:22:20
----------------------------------------
what is funny to you will????
i think this is funny as hell!!!!!!!!
what happened to that fire chicken guy anyway?????
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Msg# : 296
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : geyser vs geesers
Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:25:58
----------------------------------------
i wonder what is the geyser to geeser ratio in the world??
i think there is probably 10000 geesers for every geyser
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Msg# : 297
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-07-93 12:33:19
----------------------------------------
jo bob , do you have the ballistics data for the 99 calibar
MANLIK CARCANO ITALIAN JUNGLE RIFLE, i would be very greatful
if you or anyone else who has this data would down load it to this
bbs, i need this as soon as posible, this information is
very important to me, i need information, please.
this data should include the ambient air temperature
in bothe farenhieght and celsius for which the data was
obtained, and also the approximate % of cloud cover
and what time it was GMT.
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Msg# : 298
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-07-93 13:45:17
----------------------------------------
why in the hell would the average jo
want any kind of ballistic data on anything
and why would they call here looking for it???????????????????
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Msg# : 299
To : S.FROGG (public) (not read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : 50 cal desert gun
Date/Time : 07-07-93 13:47:26
----------------------------------------
the reason they didn't use the 50 cal desert eagle in desert storm
was because the women could not fire them aand they were
afraif of making them look bad if the men had
big guns and the women had smaller guns, and some news guy
found out about it and reported it.
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Msg# : 300
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : what happened?
Date/Time : 07-07-93 15:27:25
----------------------------------------
what happened to the art of war?
and what is going on here now?
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Msg# : 301
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JOSEPH ROBERT
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-07-93 15:44:08
----------------------------------------
did you know that floride has never been approved
by the fda for use in water supplies
floride has never been proven to prevent tooth decay
however it has been proven to cause harm to teeth in moderate
amounts.
floride is mainly used as a pesticide, and comes in containers
labeled poison, so why do we allow it to be added to the
water supply,
please write your congressman about this nad post this
message on other bbs's
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Msg# : 303
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD
Date/Time : 07-07-93 17:56:39
----------------------------------------
I was looking for The Art Of War. What fool was I! This is the best boar
that I've ever been on. The File area shines on its own, but the Message
are truly incredible. What a power, what a finesse (and don't give me
shit about spelling), what inner beauty and refinement! Outstanding.
The only problem that I have is: nobody veryfied my phone number. I
really don't feel comfortable at all with my phone number not being
veryfied.
On the possitive side, it did check my modem inside and out. This is wha
I call a job well done. Thank you again.
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Msg# : 304
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:25:46
----------------------------------------
Have you ever considered becoming a U.S. Postal worker?
You are crazy enough for the job.
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Msg# : 305
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:26:21
----------------------------------------
You should always use an error correcting modem.
I wish other computer components could be error correcting. Such as, th
computer should know when I accidently type "ckhdsk" that I really meant
"chkdsk" Ya know what I mean Vern?
Speaking of Vern, what was the best of the "Ernest" series of movies?
I have heard that "Ernest Goes to Jail" was the best, but I think I coul
make a case for "Scared Stupid." What do you think??
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Msg# : 306
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : geyser vs geesers
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:29:25
----------------------------------------
Advances in modern medicine continue to dramatically increase the geeser
population. No joke.
We are going to be stuck with more and more geesers for a very long time
Its a veritable geeser epidemic!
Thank God for Jack Kavorkian.
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Msg# : 307
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : 50 cal desert gun
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:31:15
----------------------------------------
Lord knows you are the military expert. (and Apple disk drive expert.)
By the way, I got your big gun right here.
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Msg# : 308
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : what happened?
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:32:04
----------------------------------------
The Art of War BBS now exists in the Twilight Zone and can only be
reached via a "phone call from beyond."
If you get a mysterious phone call in the night, with the eerie voice of
a different guy that sounds like Elvis... and then you hear carrier
tone... quickly hook up your modem for an incoming call from the Art of
War. (Be sure to use only an error correcting modem, since those
connections from 'beyond' are always so noisy!)
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 309
To : JOSEPH ROBERT (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:34:18
----------------------------------------
Is this message about floride a joke? It didn't say "No Joke" so I
wasn't sure.
I do not drink tap water, nor do I use it for cooking. I use only
Crystal Springs bottled water at my house for drinking and cooking. No
Joke. I buy Crystal Springs water 4 five gallon jugs at a time and I
have my own water cooler dispenser at my house.
Again, this is not a joke.
I do still use tap water for bathing, but I am very careful not to drink
any while I am in the shower.
Is floride harmful if it gets into any other bodily orifices while
bathing? I would really like to know this!!
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Msg# : 310
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD
Date/Time : 07-07-93 21:37:19
----------------------------------------
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Tall John.
I can verify your phone number if you wish, just leave it to me in a
private message.
(I can also verify bad passwords against a master list of bad passwords.
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Msg# : 312
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-07-93 23:23:20
----------------------------------------
The Desert Eagle Fifty was outlawed for use in desert storm because of
the KNOWN ballistics. While serving in the US Army I was specifically
instructed NOT to use the fifty cal machine gun on infantry. I am sure
that the ballistics are similar enough to arrive at the same conclusion.
DON'T even mention the barrett rifle. All available ammo was used up in
the robocop movie.
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Msg# : 314
To : S. FROGG (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : you
Date/Time : 07-07-93 23:35:35
----------------------------------------
S. FROGG stands for stupid frog. the kind i would not even waste a
cheap hand thrown .22 BB on. I am so sorry that my sincere request for
some information makes your cloaca twitch. it seems that some people ar
so easily amused. i think it would be a good idea to get the ballistics
data on the eruptive emissions of your anal/cranial inversion syndrome t
determine the exact correlation between exhaust velocity and temperature
and whether any scientist can ever prove any difference. as far as that
velocity and temperature is concerned, please use the kelvin and parsecs
per femtosecond scales. we would not want to unfairly represent you on
the cosmic scale of flatulance. I will patiently wait for you to poke
your anus/crainum out from under your lilly pad/handle and give me more
ballistics data. i want to make sure you deserve this representation
and yes i know crainum is spelled cranium but i am sure you will never
know the difference
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Msg# : 315
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:00:02
----------------------------------------
BECAUSE i am not an average joe and i called this board up and noticed
that before it went DOWN that it had several files that might have had
that information. i never got to download anything because the next tim
i called aow was down and i thought that the board would have some
members who could be of help. NOT some frogg hopping lilly livered bozo
who understands ballistics only as a beer fart. IF you are not s. frogg
do not worry about the last line. BESIDES, I think that aow would have
been a good start on finding that information. You are probably entirel
correct in your statement that the info or a knowledgable person would b
on aowjr. knowledgable refers to ballistically, not intellectually.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 316
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : geyser vs geesers
Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:11:47
----------------------------------------
Could you please differentiate between geezers, geesers and snowbirds?
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Msg# : 317
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : 50 cal desert gun
Date/Time : 07-08-93 00:13:15
----------------------------------------
Does that gun fire WADcutters or blanks. Sorry chuck, couldn,t resist..
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Msg# : 318
To : MODEM TESTERS (public) (not read)
From : MAX HOWSER
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-08-93 02:09:33
----------------------------------------
New BBS. The En-Forum, 484-8378. No upload/download ratios.
( No Joke!!!)
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Msg# : 319
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : WHAT A GREAT BOARD
Date/Time : 07-08-93 10:29:10
----------------------------------------
Chuck, you're kind of late with the verifying process. I like it beign
done right away. So I had to call a friend of mine and he verified me
instead. It took away the discomfort instantly. very nice gyu - he had
done this for me before.
As far as passwords go, I've never had a bad one. The foremost authority
on passwords is in Belgium. He has words lists in eleven languages (I
downloaded them all, of course). At that time, my password was the plura
form of the word "sheep" in the Bulgarian language. SInce there is no
online dictionary for Bulgarian, I'm safe for now. Later on I'll switch
to Sanskrit - it has eigth tenses, four ods, singular, dual and plural
forms and 10 conjugations. As you see, I like to keep things safe.
If you want to know about the effects of floride on the anal orifice,
read my other message.
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Msg# : 321
To : JOE BOB (public) (not read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-08-93 11:15:08
----------------------------------------
there is this different guy at work
who wears short pants, but with a long sleeve shirt
i can't figure this out??
why do people do this?
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Msg# : 322
To : ANYBODY (public) (not read)
From : HOMER BELTON
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 11:53:30
----------------------------------------
WE WERE SO POOR WHEN I WAS GROWING UP, WE HAD
NO SHOES AND WE WALKED 30 MILES TO SCHOOL, IN KNEE DEEP
SNOW, AND WHEN WE GOT HOME
WE HAD TO WORK IN THE FIELDS TILL MIDNIGHT.
NOW THATS POOR.
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Msg# : 323
To : HOMER BELTON (public) (not read)
From : BOB WEISS
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:21:01
----------------------------------------
thats nothing
we didn't have a school to walk to
we had to walk 40 miles to work in the mines
for 3 cents a week, and when we got home
all we had to eat was a crust of bread, then we
would work in the fields till past midnight
go to bed and get back up at 3 am to walk back to the mines
in waist deep snow with no shoes or shirts, top that anybody!!!
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Msg# : 324
To : EVERYBODY (public) (not read)
From : MICK LESTER
Subject : pot
Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:48:54
----------------------------------------
man i think pot should leagealized
i grow my own ,i love it...
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Msg# : 325
To : BOB WEISS (public) (not read)
From : S.BRIAN WILSON
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 12:53:40
----------------------------------------
well , that sounds like a good time to me
we lived in a carboard box in the middle of the road
we got up a half an hour before we went to bed, then walked
100 miles with no feet in neck deep snow to the mill
were we worked 25 hours, and wwhen we got home
we had a lump of cold poison to eat and then our father
would murder us in cold blood
now that's poor
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Msg# : 326
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-08-93 13:57:30
----------------------------------------
better check that label on that bottled water you will see that
it too is flouridated
p.s. what does bevery stone think of bottled water
p.p.s. krystal springs water come right out of a tap
in decatur, no joke
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Msg# : 327
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-08-93 14:03:50
----------------------------------------
what orafices do you have in mind????????????
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Msg# : 328
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : S. FROGG
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-08-93 15:37:44
----------------------------------------
i have reported you to the bureau of alachol , tobacco and
FIREARMS(the feds)
lets see you explain to them why you need
all this ballistics data for illegal weapons.
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Msg# : 329
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 15:58:12
----------------------------------------
I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ART OF WAR
IS THERE A DOOR I HAVE TO OPEN TO GET TO THE
ART OF WAR , OR IS THERE A NEW PHONE NUMBER
ARE THESE MESSAGES FOR REAL????
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Msg# : 330
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-08-93 16:31:27
----------------------------------------
I think he means the anal orifice. It is an established fact that
flouride in that area causes itching, burning sensation, emotional
tensions and overall discomfort in general. This problem is best treated
using the Black Olive method as follows:
Select a ripe, black olive (the Krinos brand from kroegers works well)
and split it in half. Place one of the halfs in your mouth and gently
sqeeze for about 20 sec. Then remove it from your mouth and place it in
the orifice. Again, sqeeze gently - this time for 15 sec. only. Repeate
this no more then four times a day. A few treatments should be enough to
git rid of the burning and itching sensations.
This is one reason why I always keep a few black olives handy.
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Msg# : 331
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : 14.4
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:11:46
----------------------------------------
What's wrong with them? If you sell them cheap, they could be repaired.
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Msg# : 332
To : S.BRIAN WILSON (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:22:07
----------------------------------------
That's nothing...
We lived in a paper bag in a septic tank
we had to get up at midnight, 2 hours before we went to bed
clean out the septic tank
clean out the paper bag
eat a handful of cold gravel
go to the salt mines and didn't get paid nothing
we had to pay them for the pleasure of working there
then after 76 hours of work, come home
put the goats to bed
milk the lizards
give the milk to the landlord
then, if we were lucky, our parents would
thrash us with thier belts
and then kill us and
dance upon our graves singing 'Hallaluyah' ---Anybody wanna top that???
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 333
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:26:52
----------------------------------------
Yeah, uh Rogey. Just open the door in your ass that says 'welcome' and
look in there. You might find somebody who can give you that info. If yo
can't turn the doorknob due to the massive amount of Vaseline in your
ass, well bud, I guess you're just out of luck, huh?
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Msg# : 334
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:43:11
----------------------------------------
Isn't it against the Geneva Convention to use .50 caliber against
infantry? Isn't the .30 caliber the largest you are "supposed" to use
versus infantry? I'm not sure.
I friend of mine drove an M1-A1 Abrams in Desert Storm, and he told me
that they "officially" weren't supposed to use the big machine gun
against infantry. But... UNofficially their tank commander told them
they could blow the hell out of anybody they wanted to with it. No joke
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Msg# : 335
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:47:09
----------------------------------------
Allen.... you just have to face it. Some people are just plain stupid.
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Msg# : 336
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : THE REAL ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:49:32
----------------------------------------
There is nothing wrong with risque messages....
but let's try to avoid the outright vulgar ones if at all possible.
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Msg# : 337
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : FAMOUSE PEOPLE ON THIS BBS!!
Date/Time : 07-08-93 20:52:07
----------------------------------------
Does anyone listen to 640AM WGST in the evenings? If you do, you have
heard our own "Jo Bob" call in to the Kim Peterson "Flush the Lines" sho
That's right, one of our very own users, the infamous "Jo Bob" was ON TH
AIR this very evening at approximately 5:15pm.
I am honored that the cheesy jokes of this message area have made their
way onto the air waves of Atlanta talk radio.
No Joke.
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Msg# : 339
To : HOMER BELTON (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-08-93 22:56:11
----------------------------------------
What do you mean poor... At least you had a school to go to...
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Msg# : 340
To : S. FROGG (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-08-93 22:58:31
----------------------------------------
Boy are you ever going to look stupid. I have a FEDERAL FIREARMS
IMPORTERS LICENSE from the FEDERAL BUREAU OF ALCOHOL (methyl), TOBACCO
(wacky) and FIREARMS (fifty cal DE). Anybody in the business knows
exactly what I am talking about. BY THE WAY the fifty DE can be had in
several finishes and barrel lengths for about $1300 street. Owning an
arsenal is not illegal, just how you use it. It took two long years to
clear a MP-5 through customs. It is also virtually impossible for me or
anyone to resell a firearm like the MP-5 to some irresponsible jerk
because the FBI knows my inventory and you can bet that if any jerk uses
a weapon similar to say an MP-5 that they will immediately pay me a visi
and I better have possession of the weapon and probably some fired slugs
for rifling matching. BESIDES, I can only sell the weapon to someone
else with a license and the paperwork is HELL.
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Msg# : 341
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-08-93 23:13:58
----------------------------------------
To be brutally honest chuck, if you looked at what was left, I bet that
no one could figure out if it was a fifty or a thirty. My instinct has
always been that if I was in the tank and some joker jumped up close
enough to pick up visually on the fifty gunsight that I would with great
calm and finesse inform the crew that avon was calling. Translated>>>
XXXX (deleted expletive) HAND LAUNCHER AT 300 DEGREES. What that means
is that the driver will immediately go to heading 270 degrees or so and
zigzag while maintaining frontal armor to avon. Presumtion that no
terrain cover is available. The tank commander will immediatley unload
that illegal according to the geneva convention fifty until even the san
fleas will need a microscope to find bits. The gunner of course will hi
MAIN on his console and launch a M833 105mm sabot round (he was expectin
another tank) to "nail" the sucker and eliminate said sand fleas. Then
after the driver runs over the hole in the sand everyone goes looking fo
new underwear. DESPITE the fact that NO current hand launched anti tank
weapon can penetrate the frontal blazer reactive chobham armor.
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Msg# : 342
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty
Date/Time : 07-08-93 23:35:38
----------------------------------------
Check with your desert storm buddy chuck. everything i wrote is on the
up and up. i bet he will even complain that he did not have the 120mm
smoothbore on the A2 and they would not let him take the governor off th
turbine. For all you trivia buffs the M1 has a 1500hp gas turbine with
hydrostatic tranny. in other words, you don't wait for the revs to hit
the powerband. you immediately have 1500hp on tap off the line. the M1
(all 62 tons) can out accelerate most cars from 0 to 30. if you take th
governor off the M1 it will do 70mph on hardtop. for any doubters, dig
out Jane's and check. Talk to your buddy chuck. he will tell you that
this aint no joke. By the way "blazer" is the semiofficial name for the
reactive armor.
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Msg# : 344
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Sorry...
Date/Time : 07-09-93 01:40:29
----------------------------------------
Hey, man. Sorry about that last nasty message. I'm just tired of those
idiots always asking "Hey, where is the AoW? This AoW Jr. sucks man!"
They can all just sincerely kiss my, ahem, butt. I just like this board
too much and get outraged by those idiots easily. These messages look
better each and every day!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 345
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : ED MORRIS
Subject : Makin' money fast
Date/Time : 07-09-93 02:32:48
----------------------------------------
I uploaded a file called Money.doc that has instructions for a plan that
lets you earn 50,000 dollars in 60 days. I've done it before and it
works. Do it, dude!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 346
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : HUMANITARIANS
Date/Time : 07-09-93 08:39:00
----------------------------------------
Since vegetarians eat vegetables, beaware of humanitarians.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 347
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-09-93 09:13:37
----------------------------------------
can i use a green olive?
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Msg# : 348
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : art of war
Date/Time : 07-09-93 09:19:42
----------------------------------------
what happened to the art of war bbs
i am told you now run the art of war
but refuse to give out the phone number, hahahahahahah.
what happened to that paul surrit guy
he was very interested in the new phone #
what is a fire chicken, i still don't know
is it tall john or long john, i forget??
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Msg# : 349
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-09-93 11:11:05
----------------------------------------
are you calling me stupid, or those guys at work.?
there is a different guy at work , who i swear
wears womens perfume, you can actually smell it from
20 feet away.
should i report it to the human resources dept, that
this fags perfume is making me sick, or would they
fire me for daring to critsize a homosexual.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 350
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : ALLEN DUKE
Subject : modems
Date/Time : 07-09-93 11:24:15
----------------------------------------
i don't trust 14400 v32bis modem technology
i prefer a 150 baud accustic coupler
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Msg# : 351
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this bbs
Date/Time : 07-09-93 12:47:02
----------------------------------------
What are you talking about? This board is good!! Somebody really fooled
me.
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Msg# : 352
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-09-93 12:49:35
----------------------------------------
I found a phone number in my diet pepsi can. When I called it i ended u
reading messges from a bunch a jerks.
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Msg# : 353
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : SETH MORRIS
Subject : bbs software
Date/Time : 07-09-93 15:01:20
----------------------------------------
does anyone have a good bbs program that is compatible with 088 process
EGA. It must have doors files messages chat and bulletins. if you do
please upload it here.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 354
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : S.FROGG FROGG
Subject : files in download section
Date/Time : 07-09-93 15:58:13
----------------------------------------
check out hte files mia04 and mia05 in the
download section, they are very interesting
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Msg# : 355
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:02:32
----------------------------------------
why do you write messages to yourself stephen?
i would not call a guy who has a 50 cal hand
gun a jerk on a public forum.
this is a G R E A T E bbs, upload a good message
or get off.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 356
To : SYSLOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : passwords
Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:07:49
----------------------------------------
i have a bunch of bad passwords to verify
can the modem test bbs, verify a bad password
or do i have to call a main frame type computer
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 357
To : SLYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : password
Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:11:15
----------------------------------------
would icicarrycase make a good password???
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Msg# : 358
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : external disk drive
Date/Time : 07-09-93 16:15:18
----------------------------------------
do you have any write precompensate data for the
macintosh external disk drive, i need to know
the spindal hub wear cofactor per 1000 write/read operations
and the spring load insertion resistance mesurement after
1000 insertions.
i also need the batter life expectancy if running on battery power
a knee graph of this data would be very nice also, showing break
down amperage to voltage ratio.
please also provide the average rpm over an average read/write
crc check operation.
i also need the spring loaded ejection force measurements over
a given time period as graphed against the ambient
barrometric pressure at sea level stated in millibars
thanks in advance for this data.
p.s. why do some people state there disk drive space
in terms of memory?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 359
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-09-93 18:58:57
----------------------------------------
How many "different guys" do you have at work? How many "guys at work" d
you have? Do you work at some gay male phone sex line or something???
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 360
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:18:58
----------------------------------------
I saw a .50 DE at the Bargain Barn in Jasper (Tate) Georgia for $1099.
No joke.
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Msg# : 361
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : usage of fifty
Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:22:32
----------------------------------------
If you immediately have 1500 hp, then why do you have the tach idle
button to increase starting power?
Just curious.
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Msg# : 362
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:33:06
----------------------------------------
I saw some ammo for the .50 barrett available for sale in the "Shotgun
News."
No joke.
P.S. (Both single shot and semi-automatic versions)
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 363
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : modems
Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:38:30
----------------------------------------
Maybe you should hook you computer up to a tin can with a string attache
to it and try to communicate that way.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 364
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-09-93 21:39:15
----------------------------------------
I found half of a partially squeezed black olive in my can of diet pepsi
Oh no.... you don't think? Naaahhh.....
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Msg# : 365
To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:23:05
----------------------------------------
Didn't I read about that somewhere . . .
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Msg# : 366
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:27:16
----------------------------------------
Are you kin to Robin Hood?
Just wondering.any kin to Robin Hood?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 367
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : modem test
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:28:52
----------------------------------------
Yeah I think my sister has one.
No joke.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 368
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:32:04
----------------------------------------
Give him the phone number for this BBS, maybe he'll die of boredom.
No joke.
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Msg# : 369
To : JOSEPH ROBERT (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:35:03
----------------------------------------
Hey Joseph!
Nobody really cares OK!!
By the way, did you vote for Clinton?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 370
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:37:01
----------------------------------------
Neither, it was Ernest Goes to Camp.
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Msg# : 371
To : ALLEN DUKE (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : this guy at work
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:43:28
----------------------------------------
I have a friend who does that to. When i asked him about it he said tha
he was cold, but not that cold.
No joke.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 372
To : BOB WEISS (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:44:56
----------------------------------------
My dad would beaus every night untill he'd get to tired.
Then he'd make us beat ourselves.
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Msg# : 373
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : floridation of water
Date/Time : 07-09-93 22:47:44
----------------------------------------
Nobody believe him.
I learned the hard way.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 374
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : external disk drive
Date/Time : 07-09-93 23:50:49
----------------------------------------
Generally the write precompensation factor is factory set and that info
is not usefull without the head acceleration slew rate based on random
seek tests (track to track if you want to be picky). Spidle hub wear is
nonexistant since the spindle lies on the bearing surface and not the
hub. I would like to see you hold your breath on that 1000 write/read
number on a READ ONLY optical disk. Before you ask for a SPRING load
insertion resistance you better make sure it is not a voice coil HD. I
only want to save you embarrassment. If you want a knee graph of the
amperage to voltage ratio just insert one generic diode. If you put it
in backwards I am sure you will get all the amperage you can handle.
Also the spring loaded ejection force is NOT relevant in a voice coil HD
because they unload from a capacitor discharge. The sea/level millibar
ratio wont help you much in this case because your expertise is obviousl
with ancient 5mb/500ms hard drives. AND by the way join the real world
and shorten that 1000/1 interleave ratio. P.S. your so welcome.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 375
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ballistic data
Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:08:00
----------------------------------------
Did he have it sitting there or did he say he could "order" it. LOTS of
gun shops will get you what you want if it's prepaid and nailed with a
heavy markup.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 376
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty
Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:11:22
----------------------------------------
I made the presumption the thing was already started. With all gas
turbines you have to electrically bring up the rpm to get enough
compression to fire it up. I am not familiar with the tach idle button
per se but most turbines measure rpm off the starter/generator and it
probably isnt a good idea to read how may amps the starter is using and
the voltage that is usually tapped to read rpms. Most turboshaft engine
generally run up and maintain rpm's and adjust the turbine stator blade
angle to increase torque to the output shaft. The "pedal" generally
increases stator angle and fuel flow together. You don't just gas a
turbine and get power by increasing rpm. The tach idle button probably
will allow more current to the starter motor in those nice situations
where the driver shut down the motor and a few iraqi tanks roll over the
hill. Spooling up rpm takes time and in combat you might not have it.
THIS info is not certain. Your buddy probably has a much better idea.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 377
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:22:59
----------------------------------------
I do not doubt you but somebody must be really lame to sell "artillery"
rounds in a shotgun mag.
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Msg# : 378
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Where are you?
Date/Time : 07-10-93 00:56:28
----------------------------------------
Again, where are you???
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Msg# : 379
To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:13:18
----------------------------------------
Why is it called En-Forum?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 380
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:14:23
----------------------------------------
I'll upload some xxx files. Have you ever seen the porno version of
Tetris? Porntris.
/s
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 381
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:16:10
----------------------------------------
Are you a kin of Robin Hood?
/s
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Msg# : 382
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : address
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:16:56
----------------------------------------
Who's Jim Beesman? Is he a relation to Jim Morrison?
/s
arghhh!!!
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Msg# : 383
To : MAX HOWSER (public) (not read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:21:52
----------------------------------------
You lie. Stopping messing with our minds old man!
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Msg# : 384
To : ED MORRIS (public) (not read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : Makin' money fast
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:26:05
----------------------------------------
If you made $50,000 in 60 days, why the hell are you even calling bbs's.
You should be in the bahamas somewhere drinking beer and really living.
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Msg# : 385
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : POOR
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:29:13
----------------------------------------
When I was a kid, my parents used to beat us till every bone in our body
was broken, and then make us run across a field of broken glass to the
postal office and work there nonstop for a week and then take us back
home and eat our intestines.
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Msg# : 386
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : DAVID COPPERFIELD
Subject : usage of fifty
Date/Time : 07-10-93 01:31:08
----------------------------------------
Damn you Randall Hartwig. Your posts are too long.
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Msg# : 388
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : New BBS
Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:46:15
----------------------------------------
Actually, yes. I am kin to Robin Hood.
Robin Wooten married my uncle Donald Hood and thus she became "Robin
Hood." So yes, my aunt is named Robin Hood. No joke.
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Msg# : 389
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:47:38
----------------------------------------
Ernest Goes to Camp was the WORST of the Ernset movies!! It sucked!
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Msg# : 390
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-10-93 10:50:31
----------------------------------------
Are you familiar with the "Shotgun News" ? It really has nothing to do
with shotguns per se, it is just another gun nut publication that has
lots of military equipment for sale. You can actually buy a WWII Kraut
.88 artillery piece out of there... NO JOKE!
I read it from time to time just for shock factor. You should pick up a
copy, you'd probably get a kick out of it.
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Msg# : 391
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : RANDY CARLSON
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 07-10-93 14:10:29
----------------------------------------
Get a good cat to get rid of your squirrels. Worked for Mattie!
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Msg# : 392
To : RANDY CARLSON (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 07-10-93 16:40:18
----------------------------------------
Who's Mattie?
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Msg# : 393
To : ROBERT SCOTT (public) (not read)
From : CHARLES JOHNSON
Subject : huh
Date/Time : 07-10-93 17:26:39
----------------------------------------
I WANT TO PLAY WAR GAMES
THAT ALL I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANK YOU72
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Msg# : 394
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Various BBS's
Date/Time : 07-11-93 18:44:07
----------------------------------------
I was evaluating a new BBS package today called "Grapevine" so I had it
up and running for a few hours.
Most of the callers (there were 6) who called into the new BBS demanded
the return of the Modem Test BBS! Yes, believe it or not.... 5 out of 6
callers preferred the Modem Test BBS! So here it is.... back by popular
demand.... the MODEM TEST BBS! Home of the wackiest message base around
NO JOKE!!!
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Msg# : 396
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : RANDY CARLSON
Subject : attic
Date/Time : 07-12-93 05:39:43
----------------------------------------
Mattie's a super cool person - just like Jo Bob. And if you can't find
good mouser, a pet blue crab is swell to take your mind off your problem
and to give visitors food for thought. My crab's name is Oscar. So far
the only trick I can teach him is to dance around the tank waiting for a
fresh chicken neck. Believe me, if there is any analogy for happiness -
it's a crab with a fresh chicken neck!
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Msg# : 398
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : foreign object
Date/Time : 07-12-93 08:51:43
----------------------------------------
I'm missing a partially squeezed black olive. If you know of the
whereabouts of the above mentioned object please report it to "Lost and
Found" section of this board. The olive has been used, but it is in a
good condition. Reward!!
(Pepsi cans are not accepted as a valid answer. I have determined that
some punk out there is screwing with my mind. There ain't no olives in n
pepsi cans. Squirrels - maybe, but I ain't looking for them.)
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Msg# : 400
To : DAVID COPPERFIELD (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : address
Date/Time : 07-12-93 09:34:02
----------------------------------------
are you related to harry houdini, or penn and teller???
just wondering, or maybe doug henning?
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Msg# : 401
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-12-93 09:38:37
----------------------------------------
ernest saves christmas was the "best" ernest movie,
note: i didn't mention anything about guns or tanks or
desert storm(slaughter) or use any fancy out of a technicial
book words in this message.
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Msg# : 402
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : ROGER HUFF
Subject : ART OF WAR
Date/Time : 07-12-93 11:22:41
----------------------------------------
I HEARD THE REAL ART OF War was
up and running on Sunday, I am sorry
I missed it.
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Msg# : 403
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : deep thought
Date/Time : 07-12-93 12:57:22
----------------------------------------
If God dwells inside us (like some people say), I sure hope he likes
enchiladas, because that's what he's getting!!
No joke.
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Msg# : 404
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : I need information
Date/Time : 07-12-93 15:42:26
----------------------------------------
I need some dat on the Grid model 1263, matrix driver
assembly. I have one that has one pixel out, that nobody
without better than 20/20 vision would have ever noticed.
I need the matrix driver decoder algorythm for the
sedat (spectrum efficient digital auxillary transmission)
systems used in encrypting the matrix information
for each individual pixel element.
i also need to know how to increase the maximun refresh
rate of each pixel element, to prevent noticable screen
flicker when connected to a hud(
heads up display system .
i also need to know if this matrix driver system in the
Grid model 1263 is compatable with a nonvga RJ-11 device,
sine i will be transmitting pixel information over the
phone line, using mnp data compression technology.
at no greater than -9 dbm. i do not need any ballistics data
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 405
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-12-93 16:04:18
----------------------------------------
WELL,,, AHHHH,,,, YES,,, WELLLL, AHHH,,, YES
WE WONT BE BEAT IN PRICE
SHOP THE OTHER GUYS,,,, WELLL ,,YES,,YES,AHHH,
(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 406
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : deep thought
Date/Time : 07-12-93 17:41:43
----------------------------------------
God does like enchiladas, but make sure you don't put too hot sauce on
them. Otherwise the Lord will be kicking your butt back and forth to the
can all night long. After all, if he is inside you, then your butt is hi
butt. On the otherside, would He be kicking His own butt?
Damn, you are right. This is deeeeep!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 407
To : TOM SHANE (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-12-93 18:59:32
----------------------------------------
I bought my wife's wedding band at Service Merchandise. It beat the hel
out of the prices at the Shane Co. and D. Geller and Sons.
No joke.
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Msg# : 408
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-12-93 19:00:42
----------------------------------------
Although some people think that you will pay 20% more at Service
Merchandise. (This is no longer true....)
(Was this once an old joke?)
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Msg# : 411
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Where are you?
Date/Time : 07-12-93 23:58:00
----------------------------------------
Yes, that 'gun guy' does bore the hell out of me.
p.s. wha?
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Msg# : 412
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-13-93 00:03:08
----------------------------------------
One of the lesser known Ernest movies (Ernest does Dallas) was the best
movie I think. See if you can find that in the video stores, but I doubt
it because it was banned some years ago. No joke!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 413
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : password
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:05:44
----------------------------------------
WHATS A "SLYSOP"?
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Msg# : 414
To : TOM SHANE (public) (read)
From : WILL STARKE
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:12:54
----------------------------------------
WHAT THETHEHELLAREYOUTALKINGABOUT?
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Msg# : 415
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:26:37
----------------------------------------
WEELLLL,,, AHHH,,,, YES,,,,, WELLLL,,, YES,
DON'T SHOP THE OTHER GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Msg# : 416
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:28:37
----------------------------------------
WELLL,,,,,YES,,,,YESSS,THIS IS NO WELL JOKE..YES,,,!!!;;;'
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Msg# : 417
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : TOM SHANE
Subject : Where are you?
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:29:49
----------------------------------------
WELL,,YESS,,,WHAT GUN GUY,,,,YES,WELL,,,YES?????????
WHAT WELL ,,,YESS,,ABOUT WELL,,YES,,THE BALLISTICS GUY?????
(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 418
To : WILL STARKE (public) (not read)
From : TOM SHANE
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-13-93 11:32:50
----------------------------------------
WELLLYES,YES,YES,WELL,WELL,YES, DIAMONDS I THINK,,YES,YES,YES
(R)eply, (K)ill, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 419
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : PHONE LINE SIMULATOR
Date/Time : 07-13-93 15:19:11
----------------------------------------
I AM GOING TO BUILD A PHONE LINE SIMULATOR
SO I CAN TEST MY MODEM WITHOUT CALLING THE
MODEM TEST BBS.
P.S. I DON'T NEED ANY BALLISTICS DATA TODAY!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 420
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-13-93 16:23:14
----------------------------------------
i have never rented even 1 video tape,i refuse to finance
the liberal agenda of the hollywood leftist.
did jim varney play in this ernest does dallas movie?
another good ernest movie was, "Deep Ernest"
and also "behind The Green Ernest"
p.s. do you have any ballistics data on the ernest movies????
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 421
To : WILL STARKE (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : password
Date/Time : 07-13-93 16:32:52
----------------------------------------
it's a humorous variation of the term sysop i.e. syslop,
now please go play in the street!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Msg# : 422
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : fga
Date/Time : 07-13-93 17:13:18
----------------------------------------
Q
Quit
QUIT
/quit
exit
off
logoff
fuckoff
fuckoffyousonofabitch
out
logout
getout
getthehelloutofmyface
Help
?
How the hell do I get out of here? This boardis not working right
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 423
To : DAVID COPPERFIELD (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : usage of fifty
Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:46:40
----------------------------------------
Sorry about the long posts. I try to provide as much info as possible.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 424
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : COMPLAINING ABOUT AOW Jr.
Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:48:57
----------------------------------------
I do not recall shotgun news but I figure it would have a nice "cover"
like buy this nice 20 gauge single shot 2 foot mini varmint rifle. Then
on page 20 or so is this nice drill. Hey you. Yea the wimp who wants t
buy this toy. Get a real gun son. Buy this "necked down" army surplus
M110 mobile artillery piece. 208mm ammo extra of course... The fun par
is finding out practical uses for those things. Maybe speilberg can use
it as a prop to hunt a brontosaurus in the sequel.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 425
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : I need information
Date/Time : 07-13-93 18:59:18
----------------------------------------
Have some ballistics anyway!!! you deserve it!!! Let me try to explain
this to you (start at 1st grade) why do you want the algorithm (firmware
when you are looking for the driver ASSEMBLY (hardware). Also WHY do yo
want the DECODER algorithm if you are ENCRYPTING the matrix info. You d
not need matrix info unless you are looking at more that one pixel. (a
one by one matrix does not count). Your problem with HUD flicker is
based on your silly attempt to refresh the pixels instead of the frame
buffer. THIS is a good place to use matrix algorithms. Well I suppose
you could use the matrix driver system to transmit via a nonvga RJ-11
device (would not "phone connector" been easier to type?) but I think yo
are going to have a BIG attenuation problem trying to refresh ANYTHING
with a -9dbm level. I presume with your silly pixel refresh that you ar
going to need terahertz capability over a phone line????? I like you,
you are very funny. HEY CHUCK YA NEED A REAL MODEM TEST. I GOT A
VOLUNTEER. Hey pvt kelly you better study ballistics for this lemon...
Its your only hope...
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 426
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : ME
Date/Time : 07-13-93 19:20:55
----------------------------------------
Shane tried to sell me a rock with a nick in it. I told him so. He sai
how preposterous you lowly bufoon, impuning our merchandise like that.
It came across that way. If he would have said it was flawed, no big
deal. The jerk lied about it, so I left. I went to D.Geller and son
found out that I had wandered into a tiny italian gangster movie where n
one would give me the time of day. I got a nice ring at one third of
what the others were asking at Service. Where do these people get the
money to advertise as much as they do???
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 429
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Where are you?
Date/Time : 07-13-93 19:41:39
----------------------------------------
If I were to "bore the hell out of you" I would probably have to stop at
one thousandth of an inch for lack of a substantial core and even then
what was left probably isnt worth one "hardblown" BB before it fouled.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 430
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Don't Blow It
Date/Time : 07-13-93 21:27:10
----------------------------------------
Most people use profanity due to the lack of vocabulary. Is this your
case? Lets keep this board clean...please!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 431
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : JOHN WHITING
Subject : Thanks
Date/Time : 07-13-93 21:28:50
----------------------------------------
Thanks......Santa
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Msg# : 432
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:19:37
----------------------------------------
Did Ernest ever use a gun in any of his movies? If so, what caliber?
(Please include ballistics data)
P.S. What about "I am Curious Ernest" ??
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 433
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:23:11
----------------------------------------
I too am a big fan of Service Merchandise for jewelry needs.
My favorite commercials are the ones that D. Geller and Sons do making
fun of Tom Shane. UH WELL...YES...I'M IN ANTWERP AGAIN.
I just like how the word "ANTWERP" sounds, how about you?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 434
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie
Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:25:00
----------------------------------------
How about...... "ERNEST DOES ANTWERP"
UH WELL...YESS...UH....yaknowwhutImean?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 435
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Ernest Movies
Date/Time : 07-13-93 23:27:14
----------------------------------------
I think I will rent "Ernest Saves Christmas" during the upcoming Holiday
Season and evaluate it's worthiness as one of the all time great Ernest
movies.
No Joke.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 437
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : DAVID SX
Subject : gifs
Date/Time : 07-14-93 05:03:36
----------------------------------------
Why do some people upload gifs that is just a blank screen? Is this fun
or something?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 438
To : JOHN WHITING (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : Don't Blow It
Date/Time : 07-14-93 08:50:35
----------------------------------------
Yes, I am a case, I mean, this is the case. I have a terrible lack of
vocabulary. And my spelling sucks. Thank you for asking. Sorry. But now
it is all "bridge over the water" as they say. I won't be blowing it no
mo'. I just forget the commands once in a while and get real confused. I
wish the Sysop loads his Windows, so I can point, click, drag and be
object - oriented so to speak and not having to worry how to exit.
Or maybe this board does not support Windows modems.
I'll ask the Sysop.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 439
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : NEED DATA
Date/Time : 07-14-93 09:43:35
----------------------------------------
I NEED THE AIR SPEED VELOCITY AND TAKE OFF VECTER FOR
AN UNLADEN SWALLOW(AFRICAIN AND EUROPEAN VARIETY).
I DO NOT NEED ANY BALLISTICS DATA TODAY , THANKS!!
THAT NICK IN THAT ROCK PROBABLY CAUSED BY SOMEONE TESTING
IT FOR BALLISTICS DATA,HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 440
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:48:07
----------------------------------------
Well, another great Ernest movie was 'The Devil in Mr. Varney'. Or was i
'The Devil in Mr. Worrell'? I don't know. Jiz go fokkin' rent it!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 441
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:50:22
----------------------------------------
WELL,,,,,UH,,,,,SHOP THE OTHERS FISRT!!!,,,,,MAYBE YOU'LL FIND A BETTER
DEAL!!!!!,,,,,,WELLLLLL,,,,,UUUUHHHHH,,,,,YEEEEES!,,,,,HARDER!,,HARDER!
,,,DO ME GOOD!!!,,,,OOOOOOHHHH YEAH!,,,,,HEY! SHUT THE THING OFF!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 442
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie
Date/Time : 07-14-93 10:53:06
----------------------------------------
Well, another movie I found to be intullectually (but still pleasurably)
appealing was "Deep Thought", starring Ernest P. Worrell as Ernest P.
Worrell, and Vern starring as his beautiful sexual partner. The intro
leads us to a quaint farm scene in Minnesota...
ERNEST : "Hey, Vern, this barn is really relaxing, and the hay looks
comfy."
VERN : "Okay, okay Ernest! Quit pestering me! We'll have sex here!
ERNEST : "Huh? Wha...? Okay, sure!"
(The screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the following
scene...)
ERNEST : "Ooooooooohhhhhhh yeah! YEEEEHAAAAWWWW! Wow Vern! You feel
SOOOOOO GOOD, YAKNOWOTIMEAN!!!?????"
VERN : "Well, I'll tell you in the next message..."
(The screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the next
message...)
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 443
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie
Date/Time : 07-14-93 11:01:24
----------------------------------------
VERN : "OOOOHHH YES ERNEST! YOU ARE GOOOOOD! Hey, let's go have
wild carefree sex with the ENTIRE town! Then, we'll sell
this as a gay porno disguised as a kiddie movie! We'll
make millions! Waddaya think, huh?
ERNEST : "Well....I'll do it! Let's go!
(They both start to dress, and the screen wavers and finally blacks
out. The screen fades into the scene of the town square...)
ERNEST and VERN : "Hello, town. We are Ernest and Vern. We have a plan
to make this town MILLIONS!
TOWNSPEOPLE : "Tell us, tell us!"
ERNEST and VERN : "Well, we all have wild, carefree sex, film it, and
sell it as a kidiie movie with nice-looking G-rated TV
previews! It'll be great!
TOWNSPEOPLE : "Well, okay! Okay! You pulled our legs enough! Let's do
it!
ERNEST and VERN to READERS : "Well kiddies, look for our new movie,
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 444
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : Great Idea for a Movie
Date/Time : 07-14-93 11:08:01
----------------------------------------
{continued...}
called "Ernest saves the Gang Bang"! Remember, though DO NOT, I
repeat, DO NOT take your parents! This is our little secret...
(Then the screen wavers and finally blacks out and fades into the
credits...)
Writer : Tony Good
Producer : Tony Good
Exexcutive Producer : Tony Good
Prodution Assistant : Tony Good
Lights : Tony Good
Hair : Tony Good
Makeup : Tony Good
Special Effects : Tony Good
Credits : Of course, Tony Good
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Msg# : 445
To : DAVID SX (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : gifs
Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:35:02
----------------------------------------
yes its a lot of fun, you should try it sometime
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Msg# : 446
To : TONY GOOD (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:36:25
----------------------------------------
what about "The opening of Misty Ernest"
long john or is it tall john probably
has all these movies in his collection.
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Msg# : 447
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : susan b anthony
Date/Time : 07-14-93 12:43:00
----------------------------------------
did ya'll know the bad publicity about the
susan b anthony dollar coin was started by the federal reserve
people, just ask aand i will tell you why, its another way
the government makes the big bankers richer.**B0100000027fed4
?**B0100000027fed4
?**B0100000027fed4
?**B0100000027fed4
?**B0100000027fed4
?
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Msg# : 448
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : SUSAN B.
Subject : susan b anthony
Date/Time : 07-14-93 13:47:30
----------------------------------------
QUIT TALKIN ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Msg# : 449
To : WHOEVER (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 15:23:26
----------------------------------------
After reading all the delightful posts I missed while I was away I have
several comments.
1. Why would anyone want a pistol in .50 calibre. Why not just get a
106mm recoiless rifle, add some Pachmyre grips and carry it in a shoulde
holster.
2. "Return to the Valley of the Ernest's"
3. Barney is a government plot set out to enslave the minds of our
children.
4. We were so poor, our ham was sliced so thin it only had one side. The
soles of our shoes were so thin I could stand on bubblegum and tell you
what flavor it was. At Christmas, we decorated a stump.
5.It's beter to copulate, than never.
6. I can't stop these voices in my head.
Goodbye from all of us,
Gunner
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Msg# : 450
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : When I was a kid...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 15:48:57
----------------------------------------
Hell, when I was a kid, we didn't even have the LUXURY of having a
body or even any flesh at all! We were just a couple of fragments
of bone fragments only a micron long! We had to carry mountain
valleys from England to Montreal, Canada...walking! That's hard
when you don't have any arms or flesh! We had to pay the lumberjack
to work, and they still didn't so my father made us do it! Then we
had to cook flapjacks for the unworking lumberjacks all day, 34
hours a day! We 'ad it toof!
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Msg# : 451
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 16:29:55
----------------------------------------
you sound like a very clever person, where have you been
anyway? i don't know why anybody would want a 50 cal
hand gun?
i think they should change the name of this board
to the ballistics data bbs.
those poor jokes were very funny
we were so poor and our house was so small
we had to go out side to change our minds.
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Msg# : 452
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 17:20:23
----------------------------------------
Hey, Bo Jo (or was it Jo Bo). Some people have been asking where are you
located. I know it now. You are in a HoJo.
So, all of you people, who are looking for him, just dial 1-800-GoGoHoJo
and ask for JoBo.
As far as the movies go, I do have them in my personal collection, but a
the moment I'm unavailable to make any comments, because this Whithing
guy will be going after my ass again. No joke!
What does "no joke!" mean anyway. Is that some kind of a joke? I am
serious, I really don't understand that. No jok... (Uhhh... never mind,
think I got it.)
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Msg# : 453
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 18:20:56
----------------------------------------
Hey, if a HoJo is short for Howard Johnson, then what would Howard Monso
be? HoMo?
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Msg# : 454
To : THE ART OF WAR (public) (not read)
From : MILAN MEHTA
Subject : chitty chat
Date/Time : 07-14-93 20:48:40
----------------------------------------
Dear Humans,
Greetings from outer space!For the past two years we have been
observimg you from mars and we believe you are highly unintelligent.
We shall be invading your planet within this
year
C
C
Cyour friend,@#@$%^&*8
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Msg# : 455
To : DON GRAY (public) (not read)
From : MILAN MEHTA
Subject : THIS BOARD SUCKS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:00:07
----------------------------------------
yo mama suck my wang wa
ng.
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Msg# : 457
To : MILAN MEHTA (public) (not read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : chitty chat
Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:36:35
----------------------------------------
Dear Mars,
Greetings from outer space!For the past two years we have been
observing you from earth and we believe you are highly unintelligent.
We shall be invading your planet within this
year
C
C
Cyour friend,*^%$*^#^&%6
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Msg# : 458
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:51:15
----------------------------------------
HEY JO BOB watch the movies and tell US about the guns and ballistics.
am getting tired of doing all the work you lazy bum...
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Msg# : 459
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:53:05
----------------------------------------
It's kind of funky that he mentions antwerp as the diamond capital of th
world. It is as a trading spot for worldwide dealers. To the best of m
knowledge most diamonds come from south africa and russia. if BOTH of
the bozo's had done their homework they would buy the raw material at
"rock bottom" prices and process the stones themselves which would save
whole bunch of money. It always helps to cut out several expensive
middlemen. It would not look good to say I am now is south africa or
russia.
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Msg# : 460
To : JON KELLY (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : NEED DATA
Date/Time : 07-14-93 21:59:31
----------------------------------------
air speed velocity is two kiloparsecs per second and the takeoff vector
is within an arcsecond or so of the crab nebula. If you swallow any
unladen things you have failed your ballistics test and no useful data i
available. we do however recommend that you check your exhaust port for
stuck rocks so that the resulting ballistics do not nick said port. We
recommend ballistically applied glycerin suppositories in case you need
to pop out and take a look around. we are NOT RESPONSIBLE for any
resulting constipation. Please consult your federal, state and local
ballistics laws...P.S. What is so funny???
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Msg# : 461
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 22:09:40
----------------------------------------
because NOBODY ever made a 106MM recoiless rifle. 105 sounds better
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Msg# : 462
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 22:12:59
----------------------------------------
Ballistics data BBS your leaden butt bozo. I have not seen ANY
ballistics data at all on this board. I do think that the Earnest BBS
would be more appropriate
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Msg# : 463
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : TONY GOOD
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-14-93 23:17:02
----------------------------------------
Don't worry, man, the Ernest BBS is on it's way...
Coming to a modem connection near you...it's...It's...IT'S!...
THE ERNEST P. WORRELL BULLETIN BOARD SYSTEM! YES, THAT'S RIGHT!
THE ERNEST P. WORRELL BBS!!! Just wait, due to open in mid-August!
Brought to you by the fine people at Exxon-
"By the way, I'm not drunk...<BURP!>...no, I'm fine...I..just.....
..ahhh...yah...that one was a TRUE beer fart...ooooo...What Died!.
..oh, yeah, where's the keys to the tanker, huh?...<BARF!!!>..no..
I'm just having, uh, stomach problems from, uh, ummm, ulcers! Yeah
from the stress of driving a demolition derby truck - er, oil
tanker that is, all day...okay...you can drive..."
'Remember to eat your plunger!'
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Msg# : 464
To : MARSIANS (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : WE WERE SO POOR...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 08:57:49
----------------------------------------
We were so poor that when the first Marsian invaded, we had nothing to
give him but baked shit with potatoes and corn cob in the butt. Now were
are evemore poor. We ran out of the shit with potatoes, but we got plent
of corn cobs left.
When are these Marsians exactly comi anyway. I want to be ready with the
corn cobs.
P.S. Using vulgarities indicates lack of vacabulary. Don't blow it. Try
to keep this board clean... PLEASE!!!
P.S.S. I have nothing against Marsians. I'm an equal opportunity corn co
distributor. If you ask for one, I'm gonna give it to you.
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Msg# : 465
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : Tha Marsian and his language
Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:22:52
----------------------------------------
This is in regard to message #455 from 07-14-93, 21:00:07 hours send by
Milan Mehta. I found his message highly offensive, so I called some
buddies of mine and had them put a trace on the sucker. He is:
Milan Mehta
1143 Pin Oak Dr
Tucker, GA Tel:938-0382
You can sue him if you want to. He can be facing up to 6 months in jail
and up to $12000 fines.
Or we can do something on our own. This phone number is the real thing.
Or he might be smart enough to call back and appologize. We'll see.
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Msg# : 466
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:47:49
----------------------------------------
IF YOU BOUGHT A DIAMOND FROM HARTWIG , WOULD IT COME
WITH A BALLISTICS DATA SHEET? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHA
YES,, UH,,YES,, WE SUPPLY BALLISTICS DATA WITH ALL DIAMONDS
UH,WELL AT THE HARTWIG CO.
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Msg# : 467
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : NEED DATA
Date/Time : 07-15-93 09:58:13
----------------------------------------
"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?"
SURELY , YOU DONT
WANT ME TO ANSWER THAT!!!
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
AHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAH
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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Msg# : 468
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : JON KELLY
Subject : DATA
Date/Time : 07-15-93 10:11:23
----------------------------------------
IF I INVERT AND AMPLFY THE FLAY ROD SKEW ON THE TREDLE
WILL THIS RESULT IN AN ICREASE OR DECREASE IN THE HARMONIC
DISTORTION OF THE SCHMITT TRIGGER(NOT TALKING ABOUT A GUN HERE
BUT A WELL KNOWN CIRCUIT ) ACTIVATION ELEVATION EVALUATION
AMPLYFICATION FACTOR AS COMPARED TO A HIGH Q FACTOR TANK(NOT
TALKING ABOUT A ARMOURED VEHICLE) CIRCUIT USING
STANDART RC AND LC COMPONENTS OR SHOULD I JUST SCRAP
THIS AND USE THE OLD RELIABLE NE555.
P.S. 90% OF THE DIAMOND MARKET IN THE WORLD IS CONTROLLED
BY DEBEERS OF LONDON, NO , AS YOU SAY JOKE.
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Msg# : 469
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:17:00
----------------------------------------
i am not at the hojo , but i am at the ritz-carlton
yes no joke is kind of a joke initself ,dort
of like the i need ballistics data joke, no joke!
i do forget is it long john, tall john ,or john kelley
or long dong silver, or clearence thomas or anita hill, who knows?
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Msg# : 470
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:21:05
----------------------------------------
why do you send a message to chuck hood , when its ment for me
no joke,no joke , no joke, no joke, no joke
ballistics data ballistics data ballistics data ballistics data
if you need any more ballistics data let me know, no joke
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Msg# : 472
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:27:00
----------------------------------------
here is some ballistics data you heavy ass clown,10101000101100001
1001001000100100001111110000000001001010101101010001011111000
10010101010101010001001110000000111010101010101010101010101010
101010101010101001010100000111101010101001010010100101010
100101001010010010101010100101010101
0101010101010101010101010101010
101010101001010010101001
no joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0000000000000000000000GUN101000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
1010000000000000000000NUT101001101010000000000010101010010010101010
101001010010101010101010010010101001010100101010101001
1001000000000001010010100100101010010101010010101010
101001010010100101
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Msg# : 473
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : speed
Date/Time : 07-15-93 11:30:42
----------------------------------------
if call in at 9600 baud , do i haave to type in my messages faster
than if i call in at 2400 baud? just wondering????
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Msg# : 476
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : speed
Date/Time : 07-15-93 14:52:43
----------------------------------------
If there is a sticker on your modem saying "Intel Inside", you don't
haave to type your messages faster then usual.
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Msg# : 477
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : Where I've been...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 16:30:25
----------------------------------------
Jo Bob,
Thank you, I think of my self as being very cleaver. Ward Cleaver as a
matter of fact! I went away when the old AoW died it's horrible death an
I called the other day to see if maybe it had been ressurected. I was
saddened by the fact that it wasn't, but I laughed my ass off at some of
the messages I read. So, I decided to join the fun! And boy I'm glad I
did! I'll post again soon!
Ward "Gunner" Cleaver
(or as June says..."you were a little hard on the beaver last night
Ward!")
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Msg# : 478
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle
Date/Time : 07-15-93 16:36:21
----------------------------------------
Randall,
The Recoiless Rifle was INDEED manufactured in 106mm calibre. From about
1940 on. If you doubt my information, check any edition on Jane's Infant
Weapons from 1945 to the present. I think you may be getting the 106mm R
confused with a 105 Howitzer. Believe me, the 106 exists, I almost had m
eardrums ruptured by one while I was stationed in Korea!
BTW, do you work in Marietta. And did you recently attend a suprise B'da
party at a chinese resturant? If you are the same RH, I still owe you a
modem!
Reg
P.S. You must name the resturant to claim your prize!
>From somewhere in the bilges aboard the USS Ward Cleaver,
Gunner "The Beaver Hammer" Mathis
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Msg# : 479
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : BOY GEORGE
Subject : I'm BACK!!!
Date/Time : 07-15-93 18:41:36
----------------------------------------
karma....karma...karma...karma.......karma chameleon..........
No Joke!
Boy George
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Msg# : 480
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : STEPHEN HARRIS
Subject : Where I've been...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:11:53
----------------------------------------
so is your name ward cleaver or greg mathis
and quit gettin' hard with the beave
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Msg# : 481
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Tha Marsian and his language
Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:46:49
----------------------------------------
HEY tall john. in reference to this milan mehta dude. Ya wanna borrow
fifty cal desert eagle??? FREE .50DE action express ammo. One
stipulation though. You gotta gimme the ballistics data. Providing you
leave enough to analyze.
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Msg# : 482
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:50:14
----------------------------------------
Hey jon boy you ought to know ALL diamonds come with ballistics sheets.
Take one good look at that rock and you would go ballistic too!!! AND I
AINT FUNNY. too much money for a chunk of carbon
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Msg# : 483
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : NEED DATA
Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:52:33
----------------------------------------
I am glad you are so easily amused jonny boy. I can tell you are
suffering from a lot of compression and NO error correcting. I also
recommend that you fix your keyboard. It is stuck on a's and h's. I do
not think there could be any other intelligent explaination.
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Msg# : 484
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : DATA
Date/Time : 07-15-93 19:58:17
----------------------------------------
How creative jonny boy. you are improving some...
Not good enough for a reply though. STUDY hard and try again
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Msg# : 485
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-15-93 20:00:00
----------------------------------------
I sent a message to chuck because i put my two bits in concerning a
PUBLIC message. IF you are so self conscious make it a PRIVATE message.
By the way "no joke" is probably trademarked by a certain chuck. It
really bites when someone has to rip off material because he has none of
his own..
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Msg# : 486
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 20:04:11
----------------------------------------
HEY JOJO BOOB quit being a baby. This aint no fun unless you are giving
up. I didnt mean to make you cry. you can have your coloring book
back...
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Msg# : 488
To : SYSOP (public) (not read)
From : SCOTT HESLON
Subject : HELP!
Date/Time : 07-15-93 21:07:16
----------------------------------------
Hello!
I ust came to town.
I have a modem but no numbers to call except yours.
Please leave me a message and/or call Scott at 428-5021 and leave
a few numbers (or just one with a downloadable list).
I will be eternally grateful.
Your computing pal,
Scott
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Msg# : 489
To : MILAN MEHTA (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : chitty chat
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:38:54
----------------------------------------
At least we are intelligent enough not to spew garbage characters
into the bodies of our messages. Jeez.
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Msg# : 490
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:40:07
----------------------------------------
But isn't it fun to just say the word "Antwerp" ??
I think so.... I say it all the time... ANTWERP ANTWERP ANTWERP!
Boy... that was almost orgasmic.
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Msg# : 491
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : All encompassing...
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:41:20
----------------------------------------
Hey... don't cut down my cozy little bbs here over some silly ballistics
data disagreement you are having with Jo Bob.
I have seen many garbage characters in some recent messages.... this jus
reinforces my mission to be sure that everyone is able to TEST THEIR
MODEM at any time.
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Msg# : 492
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Tha Marsian and his language
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:44:05
----------------------------------------
Hey... thanks for the phone number! Everyone call Milan at 938-0382 an
tell him he is in big trouble.
Hahahahaha
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Msg# : 493
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:44:45
----------------------------------------
Why don't you like that poor guy alone about the ballistics data already
Why is this funny?
(I'm not saying that it's NOT funny.... I just want to know WHY it's
funny)
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Msg# : 494
To : JON KELLY (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : NEED DATA
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:45:41
----------------------------------------
Don't call me Shirley.
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Msg# : 495
To : JO BOB (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : speed
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:47:12
----------------------------------------
For a typing test... you should call in at 300 baud and see if you can
type faster than the characters will echo to the screen. Trust me...
this CAN BE DONE.
Yet another use of the modem test bbs......
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Msg# : 496
To : ROGER HUFF (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : Ernest Movies
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:48:03
----------------------------------------
I boycott all cable companies as I believe they are all controlled by th
mafia. No Joke.
Did you know that it is impossible to get cable service in Atlanta
without giving your social security number, even though doing so is a
clear violation of the Privacy Act of 1974??
No joke!!
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Msg# : 497
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : MODEMS
Date/Time : 07-15-93 22:51:32
----------------------------------------
I hereby release the phrase, "No Joke" to the public domain.
(nevermind the fact that I couldn't copyright the English language even
if I want to.)
...and I must credit one ROGER ALLEN HUFF with the original usage of the
phrase "No Joke", from whom I blatantly stole it.
Sincerely yours,
Charles Douglas Hood
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Msg# : 498
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : VINCE REYNOLDS
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:51:41
----------------------------------------
I like the board,
So what kind of files do you want to have uploaded???
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Msg# : 499
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : VINCE REYNOLDS
Subject : Poor
Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:53:26
----------------------------------------
When I was a child my family was so poor we couldn't afford to pay
attention!!!
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Msg# : 500
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : VINCE REYNOLDS
Subject : Therapy
Date/Time : 07-16-93 00:55:26
----------------------------------------
Have you ever considered a little DEMEROL to curve that hostility?!!
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Msg# : 501
To : RAY SPITZ (public) (not read)
From : AND CHANDLER
Subject : BBS
Date/Time : 07-16-93 01:07:05
----------------------------------------
so did I
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Msg# : 502
To : STEPHEN HARRIS (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : Where I've been...
Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:43:07
----------------------------------------
Stephen,
My secret agent name is Ward Cleaver. My real name is Reg. R_R_Reg!
(Boy I hate it when dyslexics get a computer!)
But you can call me Gunner.
BTW, that reminds me. I got stopped by a cop with dyslexia last week,
he gave me an IUD!!
Well, time to go and paint the foc'sle.
We'll talk again soon.
Ward"Gunner"Cleaver
Weapons Officer
Uss Ward
CleaverSSMainte
cece
OfficerUSSSomewhere off the
coast of the June's Gulf
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 503
To : RANDALL HARTWIG (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle
Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:50:16
----------------------------------------
Randall,
Sorry about the delay in delivery. I never got up your way(yet). I will
get it to you soon. Be careful, theres a very suspicious character
lurking about asking questions. He tried to get me to divulge my real
name. DON"T TELL HIM ANYTHING! I think he may be a spy from that
"New Leave it to Beaver" show.
And don't snicker at the Ontos! If you'd ever seen what a full barrage
of beehive rounds could do, you'd change your tune!
Oh well, time to patch the hull,
Ensign Ward Cleaver
Damage Control Officer
USS Ward Cleaver
Home Port:Ward Cleaver, WC
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 504
To : SCOTT HESLON (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : HELP!
Date/Time : 07-16-93 05:59:03
----------------------------------------
Here's that suspicious character again. First he wants our REAL names,
now he wants our numbers! OK Mr. Smartguy...what was Lumpy's last name?
If you can answer this, we will continue with your security check...
if you answer incorrectly...you win a .50 cal Desert Eagle round.
And collect your own ballistics data.
In the meantime, here's a number for you -4-
Wally Cleaver
Security Officer
USS Ward Cleaver
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Msg# : 505
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : chitty chat
Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:03:46
----------------------------------------
Chuck,
Back off, dude! Maybe it is some kind of religious thing.
You must learn to be more sensitive!
Did you realize that his name spelled backwards is Nilam Athem!
Boy, that will make you think!
Theodore Cleaver
Cryptography Officer
USS Ward Cleaver
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Msg# : 506
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:06:50
----------------------------------------
Did you realize that ANTWERP spelled backwards is PREWTNA!
More "making you think stuff" stuff.
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Msg# : 507
To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:09:15
----------------------------------------
Women! Naked Women! Naked Women doing unusual things with barnyard
animals and used car parts! Naked women doing ANYTHING with black
olives and cans of yellow spray paint!
Capt. Eddie Haskell
Morale Officer
USS Ward Cleaver
P.S. You're looking particularly lovely today, Captain.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 508
To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : Poor
Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:15:31
----------------------------------------
Vince,
Nice try, but remember, as you were warned in the opening credits,
these people are professionals...DON'T try this at home without
supervision!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 509
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : More ballistics data
Date/Time : 07-16-93 06:19:00
----------------------------------------
OK, can anyone give me the ballistics data on a cylinder of feces
propelled by flatulence as a result of eating an enchilada platter
from El Toro? I think I cracked the toilet bowl!
And boy, those jalapenos were FRESH!
Ward"Ring of Fire"Cleaver
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 510
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : all
Date/Time : 07-16-93 09:57:35
----------------------------------------
we were so poor we could not afford any
ballistics data while watching leave it to beaver
through the barrels of out 50 cal. desert eagles and our
106mm recoiless rifles, so we went next door and borrowed
a cup of ballistics data from our neighbor, no joke!!!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 511
To : SCOTT HESLON (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : HELP!
Date/Time : 07-16-93 11:23:38
----------------------------------------
Dear Scott,
I am confused and bewildered. I'm astonished! I'm outraged! How is it
possible for anybody who had seen THIS board to ask for numbers of other
boards??
Let me tell you something about the situation on hand. We are a closely
knit society of top notch professionals dedicated to modem testing and
ballistic data gathering. We are on the cutting edge of a variety of
subjects, such as black olives and bodily orifices, Earnest, squirrels i
atics, the philosophical meaning and the ontological significance of
being poor - just to mention a few. We have succesfully dealt with
Idiots, Marsians and other earthly and cosmic assholes (as opposed to
black holes, since a black hole can be thought of as the asshole of the
Universe, which is a more general term). We are pioneers in many areas
and this here board is the birthplace of trends and behaviors taking
place throughout the modern world, as we know it. But if you still insis
on obtaining some phone numbers, read my next message (titled Numbers).
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 512
To : SCOTT (public) (not read)
From : TALL JOHN
Subject : Numbers
Date/Time : 07-16-93 11:37:08
----------------------------------------
Dear Scott,
The records of this board inicate that our members have been interested
in two phone numbers only.
One of them is 1-800-EAT-SHIT.It has been said that this number will
provide you to an access to the old ArtOfWar (only on a Sunday, on a ful
moon, as I understand it).
The other number quoted is 1-800-GoGoHoJo which should put you in touch
(please, be mindful of what you touch) with the famous radio personality
and the foremost ballistic data analyzer, Jo Boobs.
Both of this sources should provide you with plenty of entertainment. Bu
if you're in a need of spiritual healing (as your question indicates) yo
might call Aion "Spiritual Healing and Metaphysical Board" on 640-9670.
Accidentally, they have a list ABBsomething of all the Atlanta boards.
And please, don't forget to check your modem. Anybody who finishes with
"your computing pal" needs a check of some kind.
Thank you again, and don't be a stranger. Call us soon!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 513
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : VINCE REYNOLDS
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:04:49
----------------------------------------
Hey Reg,
You sound HARD up
I don't think I have ANYTHING that you described
But will a gif from a proctologist manual do???
Or maybe a picture of my dog doing a firechicken!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 514
To : ANYBODY (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : upload
Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:37:05
----------------------------------------
would somebody scan and put into a gif file the
rush limbaugh news letter everymonth and then upload
it here? that would be a great modem test!!!!
personal to r.hartwig when i say scan i mean to put into
a digital format which can be transmitted over the phone line
and uploaded into a computer file. no joke
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 515
To : CHUCKY HOOD (public) (not read)
From : JO BOB
Subject : english language
Date/Time : 07-16-93 14:42:25
----------------------------------------
are you sure you can't copyright the english language
i've heard if you gave a monkey a typewriter and enough paper
he would eventually come up with the entire works of
william shakespear or is that just an urban leagend?
i still can't remember is it long john, tall john, short john
big john, john john, or fritz the wonder cat?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 516
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : VINCE REYNOLDS
Subject : Gif's
Date/Time : 07-16-93 15:46:19
----------------------------------------
I think I found a gif for you. Check out EW66. I probably could have
put a better one the board, but I couldn't find the proctology manual.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 517
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : english language
Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:15:38
----------------------------------------
Actually, Fritz the wonder cat was a horribley vicious guard at Auschwit
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 518
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : all
Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:18:08
----------------------------------------
We were so poor we couldn't afford BALLET data, much less ballistics dat
and we had no TV to watch since we lived INSIDE the barrel of a .50
calibre DE. There just wasn't any room for a TV. So, we used to go over
to our neighbors who were a little better off and lived in a 106mm RR
barrel and had more room. And we had to EAT what the beaver left. And if
we were VERY good and VERY lucky, we MAYBE got a thimble full of
ballistics data at Christmas. But that was not very often. Jo Noke!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 519
To : TALL JOHN (public) (read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : HELP!
Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:23:58
----------------------------------------
TJ,
Well said! Hearhear! Good Form!!!
But you forgot to mention our extensive research into the infamous
Cleaver incident.
Rear Admiral Ward Cleaver
USS Ward Cleaver
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 520
To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:26:36
----------------------------------------
Vince,
I have NO idea what you are talking about.
However, if I DID know what you were talking about, I would have to say
that neither of the aforementioned .gifs is adequate.
Now if you had a picture of a proctologist doing a firechicken, we might
be able to do business.
BTW, I went to my proctologist last Monday for my anal annual. After
getting ready and bending me over he inserted TWO fingers. When I asked
him why he had used TWO fingers, he said he just wanted a second opinion
HAHAHAHAHAHA...get it...TWO fingers...SECOND opinion....oh fukit!
I still can't stop these voices in my head,
And Barney the Dinosaur keeps telling me to murder all the people on my
block!
From somewhere in Argentina, your friend, Idi Amin Dada
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 521
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : upload
Date/Time : 07-16-93 16:33:57
----------------------------------------
I second Jo Bobs motion.
Now THATS entertainment!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 522
To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read)
From : STEPHEN HARRRIS
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-16-93 22:36:07
----------------------------------------
anything please, except for phony porno gifs. We have plenty of those.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 523
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Shop the Others First
Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:37:08
----------------------------------------
Almost!!! Oh well. Some days are diamonds and somedays are stones...
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 525
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Ernest Movies
Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:46:54
----------------------------------------
You think nosy cable companies are bad. I once had to cough up my ssn t
be a sub in a bowling league. FACT
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 526
To : VINCE REYNOLDS (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : Therapy
Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:49:05
----------------------------------------
YO VINNY let me tell you something. No hostility intended. I have had
several occasions where I could have legally "drilled" some HOSTILE
people and I took it and walked away. I sincerely thank you for the in
depth character analysis and the benefit of the doubt you have given me
based on some messages I have spuriosly left on this BBS. I assure that
a hostile individual with a loaded weapon will have some serious problem
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 527
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : 106mm Recoiless Rifle
Date/Time : 07-16-93 23:58:56
----------------------------------------
GUNNER. your security clearance has now been raised to cosmic top secre
atomall. (this is a government security classification that exists) FAC
you are now allowed to clean the commanders commode. you are also
allowed to tell all congressmen so they may get cheap browny points with
some local nobody like "see i am special, i have this secret info".
National Security Be Damned. Those boys can blow any secret. Saw Hot
Shot 2 today. I liked some of the props. I thought it a bit painful
when the oriental fighter spit out the walnuts. I was sympathetic.
Beehive aint no fun. I heard some nice stories about fletchette rounds
used in long tube arty. Gives a new meaning to "stick around".
Got a new mission from SOG HQ. 3 AM mission to retreive my sanity. Mak
sure your scuba equip is combat ready. If the Ward gets sent to the
persian gulf to drop off a "package" don't blame me. I just follow
orders.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 528
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : I Like It
Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:13:08
----------------------------------------
Captain Haskell i want to inform you that playmates popping out of large
round objects is allowed ONLY on battleships. Last I looked I found no
registry for the USS Ward Cleaver. I did see some confused reference to
the Montana class battleships but I need to communicate with your
Quartermaster on that one. What is your displacement???
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 529
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : More ballistics data
Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:18:02
----------------------------------------
Enchilada Ballistics Eh! My database has reference material on that one
You are one lucky person. The energy dissipated in cracking the bowl
probably reduced projectile energy enough to prevent a richoccet and a
severe posterior injury. Fortunately the cylinder was a softnose
projectile that did not ignite the flatulance upon impact with the bowl.
That was tried once as a prop and danny glover blew his commode right ou
of his house!!! The softnose round probably inflicted a lot of shrapnel
damage when it disintegrated upon impact. I have designed a wildcat
round using scotch bonnets in the enchiladas. The navy tested it as a 1
inch tracer round aboard the USS Ward Cleaver. The mess officer has not
cleared its usage due to insufficient amounts of ice cream on board.
Please contact weapons officer aboard the USS Ward Cleaver for all
pertinant ballistics data. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. THE ORDINANCE
OFFICER WILL NOT REPLACE BURNT OUT BARRELS.
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 530
To : JO BOB (public) (not read)
From : RANDALL HARTWIG
Subject : upload
Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:34:35
----------------------------------------
When you say digital format is that binary or appendages?
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 531
To : VINCE (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : 5.5
Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:49:38
----------------------------------------
Vince,
Now you're getting there. Keep at it.
Gunner
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Msg# : 532
To : ALL (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : Harrassment
Date/Time : 07-17-93 00:50:36
----------------------------------------
Sirs,
You are instructed to stop harrassing my client. If your abrasive action
do not cease forthwith, we are prepared to bring forth the full weight
of the Penal Codes of the Great State of Georgia.
Sincerely,
Cleaver C. Cleaver
Cleaver, Cleaver, Cleaver, Cleaver, Eldridge, Earnest and Vern
Attorneys at Law
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 533
To : REG MATHIS (public) (read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : HELP!
Date/Time : 07-17-93 13:42:44
----------------------------------------
The Gays in the Military issue gives whole new meaning
to the term "Rear Admiral"
No Joke!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 534
To : THE BEAVER (public) (not read)
From : CHUCK HOOD
Subject : USS Ward Cleaver
Date/Time : 07-17-93 13:46:55
----------------------------------------
How can one sign up for a tour of duty aboard the USS Ward Cleaver?
(Just a "standard" tour.)
Seaman Cleaver. (Ugh... that has a weird ring to it. say it out loud.)
Seaman Cleaver, Seaman Cleaver, Seaman Cleaver!!!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 535
To : CHUCK HOOD (public) (not read)
From : REG MATHIS
Subject : USS Ward Cleaver
Date/Time : 07-17-93 16:19:11
----------------------------------------
Chuck,
Thats also another name for Prince's front teeth
Semen cleavers! Yes joke!!
BTW, you cannot sign up for a tour on the USS Ward Cleaver,
you can only win an assignment there by continually
whining "Dad tell Walley to stop bugging me..."
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 537
To : G E (public) (not read)
From : DONALD HALL
Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y
Date/Time : 07-17-93 17:00:57
----------------------------------------
ter a password: ********
Please verify: *
Enter a password: *
Please verify: *
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 538
To : DONALD HALL (public) (not read)
From : RALPH WARTHOG
Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y
Date/Time : 06-26-95 18:50:44
----------------------------------------
The legendary modem test bbs lives!!!
(R)eply, (Q)uit, [ENTER] next msg >
Msg# : 539
To : DONALD HALL (public) (not read)
From : PAUL SURRATT
Subject : Is this correct (Y/N)? Y
Date/Time : 06-26-95 18:54:03
----------------------------------------
Damn, I feel like i've been stuck in here forever. What year is it?
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