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101 Ways To Say NO
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Vuarnet International
617/527.oo91
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01. I have to floss my cat
02. I've dedicated my life to linguine
03. I want to spend more time with my blender
04. The President said he might drop by
05. I've been schedule for a karma transplant
06. The man on the T.V. told me to stay tuned
07. I'm staying home to work on my cottage chesse sculpture
08. It's my parakeet's bowling night
09. It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People
10. I,m building a pig from a kit
11. I did my own thing and now have to undo it
12. I,m enrolled is aerobic scream therapy
13. There's a distrubance in the force
14. I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling
15. I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted
16. I'm teaching my farrot to yodel
17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products
18. I'm going thru cherry chesse cake withdrawals
19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves
20. My crayons all melted together
21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes
22. I'm in training to be a household pest
23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled
24. My patent is pending
25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door
26. I'm sandblasting my oven
27. I'm worried about my vertical hold
28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise
29. I'm being deported
30. The grunion are running
31. I'll be looking for a parking lot
32. My Millard Fillmore Fan Club meets then
33. The monsters haven't turned blue yet,and I have to eat more dots
34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving
35. I have to fluff my shower cap
36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Gregorian to Jullian
37. I've come down with a real horrible case of something or other
38. I've made an appointment with a cuticle specialist
39. My plot to take over the world is thickening
40. I have to fullfill my potential
41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone
42. It's to close to the turn of the century
43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary
44. My subcconscious says no
45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store
46. I left my body in my other clothes
47. The last time I left I never came back
48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting
49. I have to answer all my "occupant" letters
50. None of my socks match
51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda
52. I'm have all my plants neutered
53. People are blaming me for the Spanish-American war
54. I changed the locks on my doors and now I can't get out
55. I'm making a home movie called "The thing that grew in my refrigerator"
56. I'm attending a perfume convention as a guest sniffer
57. My Yucca plant is feeling yucky
58. I'm touring China with a Wok band
59. My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night
60. I never go out on day that end in "y"
61. My mothe would never let me hear the end of it
62. I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named
Basil Metabolism
63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it
dowm
64. I'm to old/young for that stuff
65. I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair
66. I have to much quilt
67. There are important world issues I have to worry about
68. I have to draw "Chubby" for an art scholarshipp
69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with someone else
70. I promised a friend I'd help him fold road maps
71. I feel a song coming on
72. I'm trying to be less popular
73. My bathroom tiles need regrouting
74. I have to bleach my hare
75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner
76. I'm writing a love letter to Tony Geary
77. You know how we psychos are
78. My favorite commercial is on TV
79. I have to study for a blood test
80. I'm going to be old someday
81. I've been traded to Cincinnati
82. I'm observing National Apathy Week
83. I have to rotate the crops
84. My uncle escaped again
85. I'm up to my elbows in yellow waxy buildup
86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar
87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed
88. I have to go to court for kitty litering
89. I'm going to count the bristles on my toothbrush
90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner
91. Having fun gives me prickly heat
92. I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if someone is looking for
me
93. I have to jog my memory
94. My palm reader advised against it
95. My "Dress for Obscurity" class meets then
96. I have to stay home and see if I snore
97. I prefer to remain an enigma
98. I think you want the OTHER_______(your name)______
99. I have to sit up with a sick ant
100.I'm trying to cut down
101.....well maybe
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