💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › sarah_st.ory captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:17:54.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Date: 2 Apr 1979 2211-EST
From: TONER at BBN-TENEXD (nanu nanu)
Subject: Sanity
Sarah Stillwater, sitting silently, stared southward.
Someone Sarah saw said, "Seeing Sam soon?" "Saturday," said
Sarah softly. Suddenly, Sarah's seven syphilitic sisters
sauntered sveltly seaward. "Sunning seems so savage," sighed
Sarah's swarthiest sister, sunning. "Sarah's seemed so sad since
Sunday, September second" said sassy Susan, Sarah's
sometimes-surly servant. "Si," said Stella, "since Sam sailed
south, Sarah's seemed somewhat sullen." "Suffer silently, Sarah"
suggested sister Sadie, sipping slightly stale sarsaparilla.
Sunlight slowly subsided; Sassy Susan shouted "Supper! - Sugar
Smacks, submarine sandwiches, stuffed sturgeon,..." She stopped
suddenly. Sarah screamed "Sam!" seeing Sam's ship sailing
swiftly, silently, spinnaker sagging, straight shoreward. "Sarah
said Sam said Saturday," sibilated Stella. "Surely Sarah shan't
suffer, smarty," spat Sybaritic Sonja, seeing Sarah's sheer
salvation. Sam's sloop suddenly started sinking, sending Sam
scrambling schizophrenically. "Sam!" screamed startled Sarah,
sobbing sorrowfully. "Sufferin' Succotash!" shouted Sam,
swimming slowly shoreward. "Sam's safe," sighed Sarah, sinking
sandward, still sobbing softly. "Surprised, Sarah?" said Sam.
"Sam's soggy semblance surely shocks Sarah," said Sadie. "She's
seen similar sights, silly!" snapped Susan. "Soup, Sam?"
suggested Sarah. "Sure, Sarah," said Sam, "super!" Sarah
squeezed Sam. Sam smooched Sarah. Susan shouted "Sinful!"
Seven Saturdays subsequently, Sam spliced Sarah, so survived,
seldom sadly, sempiternally.