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WORLD RELIGIONS PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER THINGS...
THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED SHIT LIST
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AGNOSTICISM What is this shit?
ALTRUISM Want some shit?
AMISH Shit dost occur.
APATHISM I don't give a shit.
ATHEISM I don't believe this shit.
BA'HAI All shit is truly shit.
BUDDHISM Shit happens.
BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM Shit happens because the Bible says so.
CAPITALISM Do you buy this shit?
CAPITALISM How much will this shit cost?
CAPITALISM Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
CARTESIANISM I shit, therefore I am.
CATHOLICISM If shit happens, you deserved it.
CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna
dish it back out again.
COMMUNISM Everybody gets shit.
COMMUNISM It's everybody's shit.
CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "Shit happens."
CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the shit that
happens.
CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will
go to shit.
DADISM Your mom knows her shit.
DARWINISM We came up from shit.
DESCARTES I shit therefore I am.
DIANETICS Even shit can make money.
DIANETICS Shit your way to a better life.
DOMINICANS Belive in shit, or we'll boil you in it.
DYSLEXIANISM Hits shapnep.
DISCORDIANISM This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1973
Mustang.
EGOISM I AM the shit!
EGOISM My shit is the only shit that matters.
EMPIRICISM Shit only happens if I see it happen.
EVOLUTION Shit happens gradually
EVOLUTIONISM Shit is getting better all the time!
EXISTENTIALISM General: Your shit is what you make of it.
Sartre: We are defined by our shit happening.
EXISTENTIALISM Shit doesn't happen; shit just is.
GURUISM The master's shit does not stink.
HEDONISM Fuck that shit; let's party!
HEDONISM This shit isfun!
HINDUISM This shit happened before.
Heisenbergism Shit happened, we just don't know where.
Hitchhikerism The answer to all this shit is 42.
IDEALISM That shit's all in your mind.
ILLUMINISM We make shit happen.
ISLAM If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
ISLAM, SUNNI Why do Shiites always happen to us?
JUDAISM Why does shit always happen to US?
Jehovah's Witnesses No shit happens until Armageddon.
Judaism, Reformed Got any Kaopectate?
KIERKEGAARD This shit is highly improbable; therefore, we
should believe it happens.
Libertarianism Hands off my shit.
Logical-Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T
MARINES It's not just shit, it's an adventure.
MCCARTHYISM Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?
MENNONITE None of this modern shit now.
MOMISM You'll eat this shit and like it!
MORMONISM Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE
shit.
MURPHISM Shit always happens at the worst possible time
and place.
NARCISSISM My shit don't stink.
NIETSCHE If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit.
NIHILISM Everything is shit.
NIXONISM Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know
anything about it.
Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.
Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.
PAGANISM Shit happens. Accept it.
PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible shits.
PLATONISM There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit
that happens is but an imperfect image.
Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else.
QUAKER
RASTAFARIAN Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah,
it's all right with me.
ROBINISM Holy shit, Batman!
RUSSEAU Only natural shit is worth shit.
Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this shit."
SHINTO Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping
in it, show it some respect.
SKINNERISM If eat then shit.
SOLIPSISM All this shit is a creation of my imagination.
SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit
happens.
SPOONERISM Hit shappens.
STALINISM The state treats you like shit.
SUBGENIUS Shit happens -- SO WHAT? GIVE ME SOME SLACK!
SURREALISM Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.
Scientific-Creationism Shit happens all at once
Secular-Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation.
TAOISM The shit that happens is not the true shit.
THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit.
TV-Evangelism you need our shit, but it'll cost you.
UNITARIANISM There's only one shit, but you can have it happen
any way you want.
Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest shit for the
greatest number.
VANDALISM I'm gonna wreck this shit!
VOODOOISM Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you
Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for shit to happen.
YUPPIEISM It's my shit! All mine!
ZEN What is the sound of shit happening?
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Thanks to the Illuminai BBS and Steve Jackson Games
Special Thanks :
All the people who added thier SHIT to this list
All the people who may find some more shit to add to this list
Compiled at The Cell (817) 870-1060
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NEWTON'S FIRST LAW Shit that is happening tends to keep happening.
NEWTON'S SECOND LAW You have to push to make shit happen.
NEWTON'S THIRD LAW Every shit that happens has an equal and opposite
shit happening.
FIRST LAW OF THERMO. The shit that happens cannot be created or destroyed.
SECOND LAW OF THERMO. When shit happens, it happens from a place of more
shit to a place of less shit.
THIRD LAW OF THERMO. Disorder is the inevitable result of shit happening.
FINAGLE'S THIRD LAW The happening of shit tends to a maximum.
SPOCKISM The shit of the many outweighs the shit of the
few... or the one.
SPOCKISM, REFORMED The shit of the one outweighs the shit of the many.
DR. SPOCKISM Encourage your child to make shit happen.
TREKKISM, TOS To boldly shit where no shit has happened before.
TREKKISM, TNG This shit happens every week.
TREKKISM, TMP This shit is happening again.
OPTIMISM That shit won't happen to me.
PESSIMISM That shit is going to happen.
DEJA VOUS I think this shit happened before, but I'm not sure.
TOTALITARIANISM Shit doesn't happen unless we say so.
GURPISM Our shit can happen in any conceivable place or time.
ENERGIZER RABBIT Shit happens... and happens... and happens...
CONSTIPATION My shit just won't happen.
OAT BRANISM Your shit will keep happening.
VOYEURISM Look at that shit happening.
JUNGIANISM All shit that happens is an aspect of the
archetypical shit generated consentually by the mass subconscious.
FREUDIANISM Shit happens as a result of repressed sexual urges.
THOMAS KUHN Shit always happens exactly the way you expect it to.
ANAL RETENTIVES Keep your shit to yourself.
CLINTONISM Chicken shit.
PEROTISM We're in deep shit.
BUSHISM What shit?
QUAYLEISM Shite happense.
WALDOISM Where's that little shit?
CARMENSANDIEGISM Where in the world is that shit happening?
VACUUM That shit sucks.
SCOOPERISM If your shit happens here, you gotta pick it up.
FRISBEETARIANISM Shit happens under cars, just out of reach.
BREATHAIRIANS We don't have to eat that shit.
FELINISM Shit happens... bury it.
CANINISM Shit happens in the neighbor's yard.
URSISM Shit happens in the woods.
NIMBYISM Your shit's not gonna happen here.
EUPHEMISM Caca happens.