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                       Philosophers song


               Immanual Kant was a real pissant
                 Who was very rarely stable

               Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
                 Who could think you under the table

               David Hume could out consume
                 Schopenhauer and Hegel

               And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
                 Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

                There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
                  'Bout the raising of the wrist
                Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed


               John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
                 On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

               Plato they say, could stick it away
                 Half a crate of whiskey every day

               Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
                 Hobbes was fond of his dram

               And Rene' Descartes was a drunken fart
                 "I drink, therefore I am"

                Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
                  A lovely little thinker
                But a bugger when he's pissed