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-=-=-=-=-=-=-
+-------------------------------+
| H O W T O M A K E |
| |
| M O O N S H I N E ! |
| _____________________________ |
| |
| By Phinneas J. Whoopie, III |
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- The following is for informational purposes only. DO NOT attempt to
do this at home. I am a professional. Yea, right.
- The following is dedicated to Grandma Clampett, who taught me everything
I know about the wondrous process of fermentation.
First of all, technically, this is not the procedure to make literal
"moonshine." To make that, you need the famed "corn squeezins." As far
as I am concerned, good old apple cider is easier to get ahold of than a
gallon of corn juice.
WHAT YOU NEED:
To begin, get one of those big gallon bottles of apple juice or apple cider.
Then get some yeast. You can buy it at the supermarket where you got the
apple juice.
Empty about 1/10 of the apple juice out of the big gallon jug. Then put in
about 1 tablespoon of yeast into the jug. Mix it around. The fermentation
process will now begin! (That's "making alcohol" to you and me.)
HOW TO SPEED UP/MONITOR THE PROCESS:
If you want to expedite matters, then put the jug on a hotplate while the
juice is fermenting. Don't make it TOO HOT. Just warm. If you make it
too hot, other chemical reactions take place that make the finshed product
taste shitty, perhaps even toxic.
If you want to "see" the fermentation process as it happens, then put a large
ballon over the mouth of the bottle. As the juice ferments, gasses will build
up and collect in the balloon.
IS IT DONE YET?
If you are using the balloon, when it becomes full, then you should have
a nice solution of apple juice, yeast, and ethanol. The yeast should be
filtered out with a coffee filter. The amount of time this takes depends
on the amount of yeast you use. Don't use more than 1 tablespoon, though.
That's about the most that is needed. Any more will screw it up.
If you are not using a balloon, then just take a whiff every so often. When
you smell the alcohol, then you can stop the process, depending on the desired
strength, or proof. Don't forget to filter out the yeast! Yuck.
This part can sit and go without any supervision. Check it tomorrow.
Don't be surprised if this takes a long time. When it is done, you will
have a jug of alcoholic apple juice!
HOW TO MAKE IT STRONGER! Yes, you heard it right...
Since alcohol vaporizes at about 160 degrees farenheight, it will become a gas
before water does. So, under this fact, you can heat your filtered product
and vaporize the alcohol. This requires some more equipment, though.
You need some tubing, and a heat source. See the diagram.
________________
/ _____________ |
T / / | |
h o _/ / | | Ice <----------- This part of the tubing
e \ / \ | | should either be long and
r \ \ | | curly, or packed in ice.
m / \ \ / \ This cools the alcohol so
o | \ | / \ that it will condense and
m | Juice & | | | drip into the collection
e | Alcohol | | | Collection jar. This stuff is mean.
t | \ | | | Jar
e |__________| |_____|
r
^ ^ ^ ^ VAPORIZATION OF THE ETHANOL OUT
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ OF THE FERMENTED SOLUTION.
(_________) Heat Source
Keep a thermometer in the jug so the temperature does not rise above 200
degrees Farenheight, or else your product will become diluted with water.
Don't be a bozo and drink the alcohol that collects in the jar. It will
fry your tonsils, if you have any. Just ask Chumley, he tried it.
Make sure that your tubing allows the alcohol gas to cool and fall downward
into the collection jar, and not back into the big jug.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH POCKET PROTECTORS & TAPED GLASSES
The geeks may want to know exactly WHAT is going on in this reaction, so here
is the unbalanced partial equation for the reaction:
C H O ---> 2C O OH + 2CO
6 12 6 2 5 2
glucose ethanol carbon dioxide
(sugar in juice) (the booze) (the gas in the balloon)
Don't Drive Drunk.
Phinneas J. Whoopie, III
(The man with the answers)