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############################################# # MEMO: # # # # TO: All personnel # # # # From: Personnel Department # # # # RE: Employment termination # # # # 1. A comprehensive study of computer # # Capabilities and the discontinuance # # of certain employee positionc # # makes it NECESSARY to give serious # # consideration to the termination of # # surplus personnel. # # # # 2. In accordance with department policy # # a new program has been instituted # # to phase out old personnel by the # # end of the fiscal year effective # # IMMEDIATELY. # # It shall be known as RAPE # # (RETIRE ALL PERSONNEL EARLY). # # # # 3. Employees who have been RAPED will # # be given an opportunity to seek other # # employment, provided while being # # RAPED, they request a review of their # # employment record before the discharge # # takes place. This phase will be known # # as the SCREW (SURVEY CAPABILITIES # # OF RETIRED EARLY WORKERS). # # # # 4. All employees that have been RAPED # # or SCREWED may apply for final review. # # This will be called SHAFT (STUDY OF # # HIRE AUTHORITY FOLLOWING TERMINATION). # # Present departmental policy dictates # # that employees may be RAPED once # # and SCREWED twice, but may get the # # SHAFT as many times as the department # # deems appropriate. # # # # Signed, The Management # # # ############################################# Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open