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[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] The Fifth Precinct [502] 245-8270 Presents The LAW ENFORCEMENT Translator [+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+] Police work, like any profession has its own jargon and set of terms and there is sometimes a problem in translating these words from what they appear to be saying to what they really do mean. In police recruit training, the novice is taught literally hundreds of these words and catch phrases which are used in all reports. By using this guide, you will be able to decipher the TRUE meaning of some of the most commonly used terms and phrases. =============================================================================== WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT =============================================================================== While on routine patrol... I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed. The motorist was operating his vehicle He had a bumper sticker that said in a reckless manner... "SLOW DOWN--DON'T FEED THE PIGS" The accident scene and the safety of It was raining. the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control. This officer went out-of-service to It was too hot to ride in the car. to obtain intelligence informaton from a street informant. I observed the suspect acting in a The dirt-bag let go with an 'Oink' suspicious manner... as I walked by. Knowing the suspect had a criminal He puked on my uniform one night... history... The informant is of known credibility I've got two theft cases hanging over and has provided reliable information his head... in the past... While being arrested, this subject He ripped my shirt and broke my new resisted being injured in the act... mirror sunglasses... The motorist was cited for multiple I wrote him one citation for each traffic violations... swear-word he used... Upon announcing my title and purpose The rock music was so loud they I heard a voice from inside the house wouldn't have heard Patton's army say 'Come in' so this writer entered so I kicked in the door. through the door. The members of the press at the scene I sent them to a non-exsistent were offered every courtesy within address which I called the 'Command departmental policies... Post' I gave the motorist a verbal warning She was a good-looking blonde who for speeding... owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over. The Chief appeared at the scene and I sent him to the same address as took command. the reporters. Further interview of the witnesses was Tonight is my bowling night... impossible, due to conditions. The motorist's eyes were glassy, he He was howling at the moon and trying had slurred speech, was unsteady on to drive the car from the back on his feet, and smelled strongly of seat. alcohol. Using only enough force to restrain the My favorite song is 'Dropkick me subject... Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life'. The defendant asked this officer's I told him he didn't have the balls advice on how to act before the judge to call te judge the same name he at his arraignment... called me. =============================================================================== COMMON PHRASES USED BY THE DISTRICT ATTORNEYS =============================================================================== WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT =============================================================================== Officer, we've decided to grant the I haven't read any of the paperwork defendant more time to prepare his and don't know what's going on. case. The People have decided not to It's my bowling night... prosecute. We will entertain a motion for a I don't stand a chance against this reduction in this matter. defense attorney... I agree with the court that this case I've got a civil case before the is not strong enough to go with... Judge next week and need to butter him up a little. Officer, why don't you run down the The office lost the case file. high points of the case for me again. Really Officer, did the defendant hurt The last time I saw any bloodshed you that much? was when a girl punched me in the nose in the 5th grade. If we dismiss the case, the defendant The defendant's lawyer is my brother- won't sue you. in-law. The defendant is an upstanding citizen He's highly connected in politics and who made one tiny mistake. I'm running for office next year. =============================================================================== COMMENTS OVERHEARD AT ROLL CALL =============================================================================== WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT =============================================================================== Honest Sarge, I used up all my issue That issued ammo isn't worth a snow- ammo at the range. ball in hell. You need hot loads to put a man down. I want special attention paid to the The mayor saw some kids on his street street crime problem on Elm Street corner after dark last night. tonight. We need more PR work. There's been too It's an election year. much time spent writing tickets. That stain on my tie is blood, Sarge. The ketchup bottle down at the diner It won't come out in the wash. leaks. Effective today, we will be riding It's an optical illusion to make the in one-man rather than two-man cars. public think we have enough officers It's more effective. to patrol the area. I want late watch cars to check in If I can't sleep, you can't sleep. over the radio every hour for safety reasons. I'd like to introduce you to the new He couldn't control the animals in Lieutenant who has a great amount of the Tactical unit and didn't smile experience in other units. enough for Community Relations. =============================================================================== OFFICERS CALLING HOME =============================================================================== WHAT IS SAID WHAT IS MEANT =============================================================================== Honest, honey, it's a stake-out and I'm going to an after-shift party they told me I would have to work all and it's gonna be a barn burner. night. Boy! Did I have a rough day. It's a The sergeant chewed me out twice and jungle out there. I need a drink. My part in the operation was critical. I was sent to a vacant lot with the I had to protect the brass and the Chief and a couple of guys from members of the press. the newspapers. Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open