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:-) Subject: Channel Tunnel
The following lines have, apparently been circulating round Strasbourg
and parts of the financial community. The author is anonymous but
clearly an Englishman!.
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Ode to the Chunnel
or
Why the English do not want a Channel Tunnel
There'll be carloads of Louises There'll be Swedes of charmless candour
From Parisian stripteases Coming over to philander,
Importing foul diseases Spreading left-wing propaganda
Into Kent. About wealth.
There'll be modern French Wells Fargoes Belgian girls of vast proportions
Sending juggernauts with cargoes Who have failed to take precautions
Of frogslegs and escargots Driving over for abortions
And men's scent. On the Health.
There'll be Dutchmen too, by jingo, There'll be Spanish senoritas
Who'll refuse to speak the lingo, Jamming all our parking meters
Coming over for the bingo With their miserable pesetas
And the dogs. (I don't know !).
And through this umbilical, And senoras doing sambas
Seeking knickers from St. Michael, Shouting "vamos" and "caramba"
Girls from Rotterdam will cycle And believing that the amber
In their clogs. Light means "Go".
There'll be Danes on every corner There'll be Austrians with poodles
Faces pink after a sauna, Wanting membership of Boodles
trying hard to sell us porno Then demanding apple strudels
Graphic books. With their tea.
There'll be men like Julius Caesar There'll be lecherous Kuwaitis
Getting in without a visa Driving lorryloads of Katies
Careless architects from Pisa From the Thames to the Euphrates
Bloody crooks. C.O.D.
There'll be wealthy German campers There'll be men from Lithuania
With enormous picnic hampers From Rumania and Albania
Full of sauerkraut and champers From Tasmania and Pennsylvania
And pork pies. I've no doubt.
There'll be Eyeties slick and smarmy, So, dear immigration panel
Reared on pizza and salami, Boys in sports jackets and flannel,
Turning up at Veeraswamy Please protect our English Channel
Without ties. Throw them out!.
--
This does not reflect the views of my employer but we've all had a jolly
good laugh
==
Tim Stone
S.G. Warburg & Co., Inc.