💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › COMPUTER › index.gmi captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:06:13. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Herein are the Humor files least likely to be 'gotten' in terms of humor. The subjects
are obscure computer languages, puns based on coding techniques, and references to
marketing and software engineering long since buried under the sands of time. These are
also most likely some of the oldest textfiles on this site, with many dating to the
70's and early 80's, and maybe the occasional 60's document retyped and uploaded as
networks became more prominent.
If you don't laugh, it's not you. if you do laugh, it is. Geek.
The Bastard Operator From Hell Series
Collection of Computer-Based and other One-Liners
Obfuscated C Code Winners for 1983 and 1984
The Origin of the "Computer Bug", back in 1945
101 Things to Do with a 300 Baud Modem
Undocumented 8088/8086/80286/80386 Instruction Set
The Hacker Test, Version 1.0, 06/16/1989
How to See the Secret Gag File and Credits for MS Access from Winpoint BBS
Some improved computer acronyms
Acronyms of Computers Explained
Some REALLY WEIRD Compiler Responses
Fake German Warning about das blinkenlights
Quiz to Tell if you're a Modem Addict
What Assholes Do, by The Master of Reality and Zandar Zen of Neon Knights
Koans about Artifical Intelligence
Alice's NNTP Server (To the Tune of "Alice's Restaurant")
Alice's PDP-10 (To the tune of "Alice's Restaurant")
MIT's AI Lab (To the Tune of "Alice's Restaurant")
Alternatives to OSI by Jock C. St. Martin
101 Things to Do with a Dead Amiga
The Hacker's Anthem by Cheshire Catalyst (Tap #87)
The Anti-Modem Weapon, by the Enemy Within
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Calculus, But Were Afraid to Pass
The Story of the Apple Pirate's Guild
A Conspiracy Theory about Poor Apple Products Around Windows 95 (December 18, 1995)
Special Edition Apple Internal Product News (AIPN) (1995)
Why the USENET April Fool's Contest was Called Off
Applied Telecommunications goes to Computing '89
Applied Telecommunications goes to Computing '90
Artificial Stupidity: A New Breakthrough, by Michael Ferris
Sanity in Automating Keyword Abstracting, or how NOT to Title your Papers
What Assholes Do 3: AE Assholes, by The Neon Knights
What Assholes Do II by The Metallian of Metal Communications
What Assholes Do II by The Blade and The Metallian of The Neon Knights
What Assholes Do III by Master of Reality and Zandar Zan of Neon Knights
What Assholes Do 2: By The Blade and The Metallian of Neon Knights
When you get two CMU CS Students together, the topics drift to Automatic Weapons
Parody of Michael Jackson's "Beat It": B00T It, by Anonymous
BABBAGE - The Programming Language of the Future
BABBAGE: The Computer Language of the Future!
Tal performs a perfect e-mail body slam
Creative Computing Slams all the Computers
"The World's Worst Computers", From CREATIVE COMPUTING, Sept 85
Mouse Balls are Available as a Field Replacement Unit
Shakespeare never had a computer!
BASICA ZEN, or "Real Men Program in C", by John Richard De Palma
The History of the BBS User: A Musical Drama in Five Parts
Some typical BBS names, circa 1985
The Beers of the Software World (Operating Systems Portrayed as Beers)
The Day Bell System Died, a Parody by Lauren Weinstein
The US Impounds a Chess Computer, 1982
The C Programming Language, redone as a Biblical Passage
Definition of DAS BLINKENLIGHTS
Angry anti-IBM sentiment conversation
The Bastard Operator From Britain
Bastard Operator From Hell #10
Bastard Operator From hell Lives! #11
Bastard Operator From Hell #12
Bastard Operator From Hell #13
The Last Bastard Operator From Hell!
Sexual meanings of computer messages, and "Beat It" Parody
Star Trek: The Next Generation.. Data Becomes a Hacker
An Ode to the BR, by the Great Rabbi Bajzheet
The Bastard System Manager from Hell #1
The Bastard System Manager from Hell #2
"Simulation" of calling BuSUBS.
A Few of the Lesser Known Programming Quotes
Bugs: How to Remove them from All Programs
Some False Data Processing Definitions
The Commodore 64 User: A Text File, by Frank LaRosa of the Searchlight BBS
The Complete Commie Hater's Handbook, by The Cracksman
Anti-C64 User Story, with Self-Serving Disclaimer from BBS Sysop as bonus!
Anatomy of a C64 user - a SysOp's guide to Commodore users, by Electrik Kool Aid, April 1990
The Great new C-- Package! Void Oriented Programming
The First Part of Steve Roberts' Incredible Computer Commute
BYTE TO Merge with Communications of the ACM
The Apple Support Call of the Day
A contribution to the mathematical theory of big game hunting
Which Wins: The Information Superhighway or a Minivan?
Generic USENET Posting Reply Form
Standard Bonehead Reply Form (Short)
Extremely Old Chain Letter, Included for Historical Headers
The MIT Robot Chaperone (Version 1.00B)
Chat Between The Slipped Disk and a Pissed RBBS Sysop
How Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex
The Unisexual, Omnisexual Purity Test, Version 3.5a 1985
Literary Criticism meets COBOL
Robert Hayden's Code of the Geeks v1.0.1
Netmail Spreads Common Cold, 30 November 1983
Some additional assembly language commands
Some common sense to use when logging onto BBSs.
Microcomputer Mania.. A New Mental Disorder?
Compaq Wishes To Apologize For This Advertisemen
Parody of "My Favorite Things" by J. Benson & J. Doll
A problem in the making for the HAL 9000
Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary (1987)
Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary, by Bruce Tonkin, Computerpeople Monthly, Dec. 1987
Don't Take Computers for Granted!
Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy by Daniel Solomon & David Rosenblueth
The Incomplete and Abridged Computer Term Lexicon
Hacker Wants to Marry His Computer, from The Sun, (January 17, 1989)
Parody of UNC Computer Course Listings, 1990
Computer Stories from a Field Service Engineer
The Adventures of Mini and Micro
Collection of Computing One-Liners
The Book of Genesis from a Computer Perspective
In the Beginning, God Created the Bit
Computer Songs and Poems, Version 1.4 06, August 1994
The Confessions of an Unpaid Consultant, by Stephen Manes (July 1996)
The Rules of Cyberpunk and the Slang of Cyberpunk
Extremely Huge Commodore Disclaimer
The Complete Guide to Cows, Summer 1990, Part 1
The Complete Guide to Cows, November 1989
Making Conversions between Crays and Commodore 64s (July 28, 1990)
Cray's Incredible New Solar System-Powered Computer
A JCL Program for the Creation
A Number of Computer-Related Creation Myths
From Computerworld 1 April: Creators Admit C, UNIX Hoax
The Timeline for Microsoft Food For Windows
Support is Hell: The Torture Never Stops
The SysOp's Guide to D00Dspeak
The Top Ten Reasons to Date and Not to Date an Engineer
The History of the term DDT for a Dec Debugger
The History of the BBS User (A Musical Drama in 5 Parts)
The History of the BBS User Part II
The History of the BBS User Part III
Why the RX-02 Floppies Absolutely Suck
DEC WARS: The Definitive Collection
Computer Term List, Stolen from a Vax by King Herman
Desktop Publish and Be Damned!
Microsoft Corp. Announces Latest Acquisition (Olympia, WA)
The contents of stddisclaimer.h, the Internet's Standard Disclaimer
The First Book of Computer Phobias, Disorders, and Diseases, by The Warriors
The First Book of Computer Phobias, Disorders, and Diseases, by The Warriors
Ways to get Rid of problems with Disc Drives, by Jason Harlow
The Disk Rigger Rodent Story, by The Sector Vector
Confessions of a Download Junkie
MACROS: A Way of Life, or, Altering the English Language For Fun and Profit
Documenting Useless Programs, by Scoop
The SysOp's Guide to D00Dspeak
What the comp.os.ms-dos wizards FAQ might look like if there were a comp.os.ms-dos.wizards
Alternate Data Processing Definitions
A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandfather's Computer
The Man Page for the DREAM Program
"The Password" to the tune of "The Reflex" by the Slipped Disk
Ad for the Eliminator 2000 (Destroys annoying BBS Users)
Collection of common acronyms and emoticons on Compuserve
The Engineers' Drinking Song (Lady Godiva)
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager in a Car (Joke)
A Contest from USENIX for the Most Humorous UNIX Error Codes
The Canonical List of Error Messages that Are Funny
Ethics for BBS Users: Some Points of Etiquitte
EUNUCH Programmer's Manual by Jonathan E. Brickman
Qualifying Examination for Co-Sysop Access
The Programmers and Sysops Excuse File by The Nomad
Large Collection of Smiley Faces
Famous Bugs List, Courtesy of Dave Curry
The Tragedy of Online Addiction, by Steve King
FidoNet History and Operation 8 Feb 85
Laidback with (a) Fifth, By John Unger Zussman
VMS Operations Manual. See Figure One
AT&T Customer Service Manual. See Figure One.
Come Join the Famous Flamer's School
Ever Dreamed of Flaming with the Big Boys? Come to the Flamer's School!
The Deteriorata Reprogrammed to be Computer Centric
How to Determine Which Programming Language You're Using:
Further Tests to See Which Programming Language You're Using
TRN TRN TRN (For Everything...) Parody
Join the Famous Programmer's School
net.bicycle.freewheel.cleaning: a reprise, by Brian Reid
Large Collection of Computer-Related Jokery
How DEC Works (Australian Perspective)
What Real Gamers Do and Don't Do by Fritz Mertens (March 15, 1985)
What Does Bill Gates' Daughter and Prodigy Have in Common?
Review of Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, by Douglas R. Hofstadter
"A Letter From a Confirmed Geek", by Jolly Roger of Neon Knights/Metal Communications
The Code of the Geeks v3.12 by Robert A. Hayden (March 5, 1996)
Geeks and Nerds, by The Data Blitz
Geeks and Nerds: An Informative File by the Data Blitz 11/20/84
Gen A Sys: The Book of Genesis Retold with Computers
The New Creations from Genesis Corporation
The Story of Creation, or the Myth of Urk
In the Beginning, God Created the Bit
Parody of MAKE.MONEY.FAST: GET.DRUNK.CHEAP, by Jon E. King
Why Kernels Are Subjected to Bloat
An Alternate Version of the Software Universe
Getting to Know Your Computer: A Short Glossary of Computer Terms
The General Motors Technical Support Line
Press Release for GNU GNURM, the Improved Internet Worm!
The Story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears translated to Fortran
2nd Annual Obfuscated Contest Winners
The Gospel According to St. Hacker
A Grad-Student Emotion Checklist
Gray Areas Magazine, by Nutta Gilbooa (Parody) Issue #1 (January, 1995)
Reports of the Graduate Student Lunch's Demise have been Greatly Exaggerated
Collection of Emoticons and Acronyms for use on Fido BBSs.
The Twelve Year Old's Guide to Computing
Gateway to Net Ten (Parody) by Mark Lotter
How a Hacker Chooses His Clothing (ASCII Diagram)
The Hacker Test, by Felix Lee, John Hayes and Angela Thomas (June 16, 1989)
The Hacker Test, Version 1.0 (June 16, 1989)
The Hacker Barbie is Introduced
Hackers: What Pussies! By Mr. Curious
I'm a Hacker and I'm OK (Monty Pythod Parody) by Dave Touretzky and Don Libes
The Hacker Test Version 1.0 (June 16, 1989)
The Hacker Test, Version 1.0, 1989
The Song of Hakawatha, by F.X. Reid
HAL, we Have a Problem: You're not IBM Compatible
Is HAL a clever reworking of IBM? This author thinks so.
How to Choose and Alias, written by The Sheister/UMass Bandit
HAM: Humor Accidentally Read (Parody of Random Access Humor) August, 1994
The Chasidic UNIX Chart by Eric Raymond, Arlie Stephens, David Oster
Software Goes Hardware by Unknown
If Superhighways Were Like the Internet
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Net, 1982
Jason's Logout for the Milliways BBS
Large Collection of Hacking Horror Stories
How to Get a Hacker to Bed; Phrases to Turn Him/Her On
How to program and Debug in C: The Quick list
The Complete Hewlitt Packard Font Catalog, Which is Odd
A Particularly funny Hewlitt Packard Font Catalog (!)
Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, and No Question Seems to be Too Basic (March 1st, 1994)
IBM Gets its First Contract, with God
New Updates and Fixes to IBM/VU
Why I like the IBM 3090 (Or Maybe Not)
HCF instruction: from Principles of Operation (Halt and Catch Fire)
Addendum to System/370 Assembler
IBM Offers the new Virtual Universe Operating System (January 30, 1979)
There are Rules for Driving a Computer, Too
There are Rules for Driving a Computer, Too
The IBM Songbook: March on with IBM
NEW OPERATING SYSTEM FOR IBM MAINFRAMES: Virtual Universe
Small Collection of Reviewed Engineering Definitions from the IEEE
On Holy Wars and a Plea for Peace
What Happened in Between, by Rueben Flagg
The Mathematic Formulas for Infinity
A Dream Turns to a Nightmare for the National Inquisitor
Top Ten Anagrams for "Information Superhighway"
Lamer Pirate Magazines, Etc. by The Grim Reaper (February 3, 1992)
On the Human to Machine Interface
The Intercal Manual, from Don Woods and James Lyon
Hacking Into Hell -- The True Story of Harry Poindexter
An extremely funny login screen to the Utopia BBS
Is There a Modem Entity by Shadow Stories, Inc.
Top 10 Signs You Picked The Wrong Internet Service Provider
The MIT/Stanford AI Jargon File (April 1, 1992 Version)
Ancient Version of the Jargon File
Jargon File Verison 2.9.9 (April 1, 1992)
Jargon File from November 14, 1982
The Glossary of Jargon, by Guy L. Steele, Jr., et al
A Day in the Life of Johnny Leet0: The Story of an Elite Kiddie by RogersFX
TOMORROW HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO JOBCONTROL ERRORS (December 1, 1988)
The Adventures of Joe Lisp, T Man
The History of the K-K00l DUDE, by The Edge
The History of Real K-K00l Dudes by The Edge
The History of Real K-K00L D00DS by The Edge
A Nice Juicy Ken Olsen Quote about how UNIX Is Doomed
The Twit Filter: The Know-It/Done-It-All by Dave Bealer
Chat Logs with the Maniac Jack of the now-defunct Kightline
How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD! by The Outland
K-K00L D00Ds Part III, by Radioactive Snail
In Hackadu did Hackers Few an Awesome program-hack command....
The Life and Death of a Modem Geek, by Dr. Atomic
The Life and Times of a Modem Geek by A Modem User of Anarchy, Inc.
Clothes Labels Decoded, by Bruce Goldman
Helpful in Finding the Lamers: A Guide
Lamer! By Professor Fuze (January 31, 1995)
Al Stevens Explains all Computer Languages
Computer Programming Languages to Look Out For
Late One Night, they Screw Up a Computer System
A Digest of Messages from Lauren Weinstein, an infinitely Amusing Person
Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming
Microsoft has a Patent on Look-And-Feel Lawsuits
An Interview with Timothy Leary
What Leeches Hate about AE SysOps, by Crackmaster
Definition and Overview of The Leech by Mutant Offspring
The True Leech Hazard by The Rocker
The Society of Leeches, by Mister I/O
The Leech Dictionary by the Blue Buccaneer
The Leech at Work, by The Rocker
The Lesser Known Programming Languages
The Software Life Cycle, as told Biblically
The Legacy of the Apple Lisa, by David T. Craig (February 16, 1993)
Actual Ad for LISP Programmers from the Boston Globe
The Story of the Lisp.Ad File, by Kalman Reti (May, 2005)
How Many Artifical Intelligence People does it take to Change a Light-Bulb?
The List of Real Losers by Chaotic Computers (1985)
The Lozer Zone by The Circle Spellbook (1985)
Tale from the Loser Zone by The Circle Spellbook, Inc (1985)
The Loser Zone, by The Circle Spellbook
The Basics of Luding by Sinbad Sailor
The Further Adventures of Luke Vaxhacker
Blessings on this Fine Machine by Zhahai Stewart
Someone gripes about that new-fangled Macintosh
Comparing a Macintosh and a Cairn Terrier
Dr. Arcane's Guide to Maggot Weeding, Volume 1.0
The PC Manifesto, Featuring a PC Primer and Revised PC Edition
Collection of Funny Man Pages That Someone Collected (In Shell Format)
The Mark V Security System is ACTIVE!
The Parable of the Master Programmer
Some Different Mathematical Records
The Progression of Farm Math Problems over the Years
Mathematics Glossary: Deciphering what Math Teachers Say
Impure Mathematics: The Story of Polly Nomial
Simplified Mathematics, from the Journal of Irreproducible Results, Vol. 35, No. 1
The McDonnell Douglass Warranty Card
A Student Creates Tons of Cool Ways to Measure a Building with a Barometer
Let Me Tell You The Way It Used To Be: PURE HEX PROGRAMMING
Computer Melvins, by The Watcher
Micro (Offensive to computers and computer-wanna-bes) by Optimist Prime
Microsoft Bigs to Acquire Catholic Church
Richard Stallman's "Guess What This Does"
The Adventures of Micro-Farad and Milli-Amp
No More `Star Trek' on CPU, by Jake Kirchner, CW Washington Bureau, Washington D.C.
Some MIT Artificial Intelligence Definitions
How to Tell if YOU are a Modem Geek! By The $heik (January 27, 1985)
Modem Pail Kids: The Collection
The Adventures of Molly Modem #2
The Adventures of Molly Modem: #3
The Adventures of Molly Modem: #4
The Adventures of Molly Modem #5
The Adventures of Molly Modem #6
The Adventures of Molly Modem #7
The Adventures of Molly Modem #8
The Mudder's Test (Version 1.0)
A partial trace of a few cycles of MUMPS [Mutually Uncooperative Multi-Processing System] execution
Some New Definitions for Munchkins in the BBS Scene
The Problems with a Computer Called MYDICK
Ask Dr. Stupid: Am I a Neanderthal
How you know you are a true blue Nerd, by Bug Byter
How to Meet and Marry the Nerd of Your Choice, by Geneva March
The Nerdity Test, Squid Version
The Nerdity Test, Squid Version, September 1990
What Makes a Nurd Most, by Mad Max
The Net Message Header from Hell
Computer-Related Horror Stories
Some Bizzzare Articles from the New Yorker
All the New Instructions for IBM's New Chip
Computer Languages from the Enforcer and Friends
A New, Very Personal, Computer
The Yellow Brick Road in Cyberspace? Story.
New Users: A Guide to Parasites and Weeding them out
Parasite Pamphlet #3: New Users... How to Detect and Destroy Them
What if the World Took on the UNIX Philosophy?
The Night of the Leeching Dead, by Apple Core
The Adventures of Lone Worlf Scientific #9
Were it Not for Computers, by Tim Casady
NET.SCANDALL: A Weekly Compendium of Ascii (April 1994)
QBX-1: Single-Board Nuclear Reactor Supplies Standby Power for 12 Years!
NULL: A Computer Language Breakthrough
Obsession with Computers? No Fooling THIS Guy!
Stuff Someone is throwing out, with funny reviews
Secret Transmission from the President's BBS, circa 1987
The USENET Winter Olympics 1992
Lots and Lots of Fake Machine OpCodes
David Sanderson's Large Collection of OPCodes That Should Exist
The False Opcodes List, Updated Several Times (September 9, 1985)
Some Historical Perspective on Humorous Opcodes
Collection of Bizzare Op-Codes
Dave Campbell's Collection of Humorous Opcodes
If Operating Systems Ran Airlines
Top 10 list of activities for paranoid computer scientists
Ha! it Turns Out Pascal is One Big Joke!
PC Readers Locate Stories with New Index Program
PCs are PCs (sing along to People are People by Depeche Mode)
List of DEC's PDPs, by Mark Crispin
Collection of Pentium Error Jokes
The Perfect Programmer: A Poem
Announcement of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Software
Of course I never wanted to be a Lumberjack; I wanted to be a PROGRAMMER!
Poodle Sisters Software: Phydeaux-Net!
The Pirate's Sniglets, by The G-Man
Psychology of the Software Pirate, By The Beast
A Sysop .... by The Silver Ghost
The Usenet Guide to Power Posting
The Programmer's Prayer (June 4, 1989)
Desperate Programming Techniques
The Story of Poor Pure Percy P
Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche
Quick List of Joking Definitions
Random Computer Poetry, ot The Great Quux
The Birth of a Rodent, by The Warlock Lord of Metal Communications
If System Administrators Designed Cars
Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL
Real Computers, by Matt Gertner
Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
The Real Leech Guide Part I. Excellent Tree.
Real Programmers Write in Fortran? No way!
Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal!
The last Word on the Rec.Porn.Child Debate (Parody of Rec.Humor.Funny and Brad Templeton)
The Lurker in the Interrecord Gap
Using Your Boots to Clear a Relay
Someone Being Annoyed about the "Resent" Field
Dictionary of useful Research Phrases
The Randomly Lose Telnet Option
MacWeeny Rider (to the tune of "Uneasy Rider")
A Manual Page for a Much More Effective RM Command
The Story of the Robin Hood Hackers
Are You About to Employ a Robot
Are you About to Employ a Robot?
1993 RAH Online Industry Awards by Dave Bealer
A Man Page for Russian Roulette
Why is RYFM Disease Widespread? (READ YOUR FRIGGIN' MANUAL!)
The Important Rules for Safe Fax
Story-telling in computer languages
What Leeches and Other Losers Do on Saturday Nights, by The Blue Buccaneer
Real Computer Scientists Don't Write Code
Someone Had a Bad Day Providing Scribe Support
The Story of the Scratch Monkey
New VAX Reseller Sears Expects To Clean Up With Its Latest Offering
User's Guide to Little Known Facts About Computers
Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
The Slipped Disk rants about how cool he is. Little prick.
Horizons in Computer Science Educational Technology by Ross Williams (June 3, 1988)
Computer Science Sesame Street
Computer Program for Computers to have Sex with People
The Joke of Silicon Valley, by Judith Stone
Documentation for SIM-Crackhouse
Structured Programmer's Soliloquy
The Structured Programmer's Soliloquy
Sloppy Floppies, or Polarid's New Cleaning Techniques
All the Programs you'll Ever Need for $600
Communications Breakthrough: The Smiley List, after Scott Fahlman at CMU
The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary
Smiley Face Catalog, from 1983
Additional Collection of Smiley Faces
A Collection of Modem Signets Volume #1 by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
SOFTWARES: Part IV, a New Hype (Star Wars Parody)
About Copy Protection and Selling your Soul
The Official SPISPOPD FAQ Prerelease Version 1.0 by Seth Cohn
Why Doom has an Inside Joke to Usenet, or How I Helped Create a Cheat Key Code by Seth Cohn
Walk of Sprite: Parody of Walk of Life by Dire Straits, by Melt Cober (1986)
The All punctuation Drinking Song
A Collection of Stupid .signatures
Pros and Cons of Sun Workstations from 1987
Why they chose Sun Workstations Down on the Farm
The Arguments for a Super User from Different Departments
Typical Junkmal, OK, WEIRD Junkmail, 1983
Software Wars, by Mark Crispin
Software Wars, by Mark Crispin
Nasty Parody of Symbiotics Documentations (Slimebiotics)
Should I Become an Astronaut, Firefighter, or System Administrator?
The Sysop's Guide to Loozers Leeches and Rodents
The Adventures of System Restriction Underwriter Manager
The Tough Times of Being a Sysop
The System Operator Purity Test
Genesis Release 2.5, by Michael Coleman
Different Ways of Taking Care of Your Disks
Real Computer Teachers by The Joker, The Slipped Disk, the Datamaster and Mark Hamill
The Top 10 Reasons for Calling Technical Support Hotlines
New C Language Derivative: Tenne-C!
An Unabridged, Uncommon, and Unnecessary Dictionary of Computer Terminology, from King Herman
Tests for System Analysts (Reworking of the famous 'Final Test')
A portrait of the TeX novice/user/hacker.
The Official Grotto Primer of Elementary Texan
Zork, RAMS and the Curse of Ra: Computo, ergo sum by Curt Suplee, Smithsonian magazine, April 1983
New Employee Orientation: The Mainframe Environment from a Training Perspective
It's True! I Heard it on the Net!
The Compleat Nerd Dictionary, by The Quartz Revision 2.0, 1985
the Pascal Programmer and the C Programmer, by The Shooting Shark
The Society of "Leeches" in the Telecommunications World by Mister I/O
Bizarre Computer Language Timeline
Thank Goodness of Computer Technology!
To My Darling Husband, the Computer Addict
Administrator's Note About the Water Closet
Humorous Computer Dictionary (1988)
Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary, 1987
Introducing a new "portable" macro package for troff-like processors (DEEP GEEK HUMOR)
The Turing Sroud: An Amazing Archaeological Discovery!
Going Cold Turkey, by The Blue Buccaneer
Excellent Response by Digital to a VMS Leap year Complaint
A Notice of Change in Course Schedule by Kevin Denelsbeck (September 21, 1990)
The Burroughs/Sperry (now Unisys) Merger Song
Adminstration Horror Stories From the Usenet (1992)
The Unofficial Unix Administration Horror Story Summary, version 1.1
Creative Writing Project: The UNIX Program Gone Bad
A new version of rm(1) for DOD contractors by Steve Baur (1989)
Some Funny Things You Can Type in Unix
Creators Admin C, UNIX is a Hoax (April 1, 1991)
Manual Entry for XKILL, which Kills Processes and the users who start them!
Rant about UNIX, and USENIX as well
A VERY Large Collection of UNIX Shell Tricks
UNIX Communication Commands, Part I
The UNIX Wars Saga, Version 1.1
The Usenet Sports Programming Network presents: Exclusive Coverage of the Men's Flame Baiting Finals
PLTS Announces "Netnews by Fax"
The USENET Guide to Power Posting
Split Personalities on Electronic Bulletin Boards, by Rangott Splieken
A Login Session with Utopia BBS
The Uzi vs. The Computer, by Yossie Silverman
Announcing VALGOL, the Valley Girl Operating Language
Silicon Valley Guy (to the Tune of Valley Girl)
The Writings of a Minor 19th Centure Post-Impressionist Programmer
Murph's VAPORWARE column for March 1990
Murph's VAPORWARE column for April 1990
Vax Trek V The Movie: "The Crunchy Bits"
Addicted to VI (Parody of Addicted to Love)
I/O Deja Vu: A Farce in one act
Look Out for this New Virus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Michelangelo Virus Hysteria Syndome
A Very Weird Explanation of Memory Paging
IBM's Virtual Universe Operating System
Song Parody of "Start Me up" by Dix/Dem (1995)
BitchWar Manual #1, by Barney Badass
B-File #1: Barney Badass's Bitch War manual
Is Wargames Possible? Bullshit! By The Jabberwock
Warning! This Machine Intentionally Goes Down!
Bored by Pascal? A Posting from Magnus (September 29, 1989)
How to Tell if You Have a UNIX Guru in the House
Why I Like Textfiles, by Jason Scott
Joke Press Release: Windows Buys Up Satisfaction
Six Gabillion Anti-Windows/Microsoft Taglines
Out of the Box with Windows 95 (August, 1995)
IMMANUEL: A Wisdom Based System for Discovering Deep Philosophical Ideas
How to Write Documentation Documentation (Needs Editing)
Christian Deity Ontological System Version 7 (XDOS 7.0), or Christianity 7
Extended Op-Code Set for 8088/8086, or What Intel forgot To Tell.
An Example of a Fake AI System
Art Buchwald's Story about Why You're So Tired
DL-232: A suggestion for even more stupid signals on computer cables
Zen and the Art of Software Documentation by W.C. Carlson
Attacking on ELIZA with some ZIPPY Quotes