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TWELVE MAGICTRAGICMAGIC WORDS
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Far back in the almost forgotten lore of the elves is an exhaustive store of
magic--in olden times the elves were able to do all sorts of wondrous things
with their magic.
Unfortunately, most of that has been lost. All that has come to the elves
over the years is twelve magic words, instead of the thousands they used to
have. Those twelve can be very powerful. Yet they don't solve all the elves'
problems. Each word becomes effective only when it's spoken after first
drinking the FRUMP potion--and the potion is ever in short supply.
THE TWELVE MAGIC WORDS.....
ONE: DINKY DOILEY. Used by an elf to make himself invisible. The difficulty
is that the word for making oneself visible again has been lost.
TWO: KALAMAZAMKALAMAZOO! Spoken to make an object disappear. Doesn't work
for anything larger than a whale. (A group of elves onces used this on a
polar bear. He disappeared--and they didn't see a thing when he chewed
them up.)
THREE: HOGEY BOGEY. Works to clean a room within seconds. The magic may
not put things where you want them, however. Thim once used this and found
all his dirty clothes stuffed down the toilet.
FOUR: PEEPEEPOOPOO. Magically transforms your enemy into the animal you're
thinking of at the time. Be careful not to think of a vicious animal--
turkeys and squirrels are good choices.
FIVE: YUP-YUP. Effective when you want a plant to grow fast. Elvish records
show that Jack didn't really have magic beans; he just knew how to use
Yup-Yup magic.
SIX: BULLY BULLY! Turns raw materials into the toy of your choice. Must be
spoken very loudly and with great force. (Hans Leeflang of Holland tried
this one once--and he was thinking of every toy he'd ever wanted. He was
wrapped under the resulting toys for three days before they could dig him
out. Teddy Roosevelt used a variation of this magic spell to become president
of the United States.)
SEVEN: PIGGY POG. Cures just about any imaginable illness. Does not work for
cut fingers or for colds, however.
EIGHT: HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY POO. Good for changing the weather. Can make it go
from snow to rain to shine within seconds, or from cloudiness to clear skies.
BEWARE: When you give yourself nice weather, you're stealing it from someone
else, and giving them your clouds.
NINE: BUNKO BUCKY BAH-BAH. Make someone shut up. When the noise gets to an
elf, if he has some potion handy, he says the magic words and the other
person is unable to speak for 55 minutes.
TEN: JOE BETCHUM. Said to bring something to mind. Works to help the elf
remember things he's forgotten, as well as things he never knew before.
ELEVEN: RUMPLESTILTSKIN. Pronounced to bring a shiny star down into your
hand.
TWELVE: HUPPY HUPPY HO-HO-HO! Must be said with a broad smile, and with
the finger on the side of the nose. Works to make an elf go up into the
air. The elves taught this spell to Santa to enable him to go up chimneys.
THE FRUMP POTION
None of this magic does any good unless the elf first swallows at least a
teaspoon of the FRUMP potion. Some of the ingredients of the potion are
hard to come by, and a batch won't last without spoiling for more than
three weeks. To make the potion, gather the following ingredients and
boil them over a medium hot flame.
F: Fine Hair of a Frozen Flea, chopped into tiny pieces.
R: Righteous Indignation of a Mad Mayfly (at least 10.52 grams).
U: Urn with umbones of a Red Wooger (at least ",L"L