💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › holiday › hatedeer.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:05:03.
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Ahhem. Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Hatedeer.
Ruldolf the Red Nose Hatedeer, had a very shinny nose.
And if you ever saw it,
Ruldolf would hose you with twin ouzies into your brain. And laugh with
blood soaked teeth as he ate your head
All of the other Hatedeer, would laugh and call Ruldoph names.
They wouldn't let poor Ruldoph, play any of their lame Hatedeer games.
Then one foggy Christmas eve, Santa came to say, Ruldoph with your
radioactive nose so bright, won't you power my sleigh tonight.
Ruldoph the Red Nose Hatedeer lunged and killed Santa with glee,
misinterpreting Santas wording, he got off legally.
All of the other Hatedeer, tried to flee with their lives.
None of them ever lived, to see Christmas night.
Ruldoph the Red Nosed Hatedeer, went into combat training.
He learned all about small weapon combat, poisns, and nuclear devices,
and is ready to start world war three.
Ruldoph the Red Nosed Hatedeer, bought nuclear arms from
Russia; these he got easily.
He has the knowhow to arm them, and will if provoked
violently...
Ruldoph the Red Nosed Hatedeer, has a very Radioactive nose. If you
ever saw it, you're a radioactive corpse already. You don't have a goddamned
chance. You're as good as dead. He'll follow you, waiting for you to stagger
and fall, vomitting blood and peeling off flakes of skin, scratching them off
as you try to itch burning muscles. Geesus... He's got guns... He has fucking
guns... He's out there waiting... Waiting!!! He'll get you... He'll get YOU!!!
Run, damnit! RUN! Hide in the fucking sewers.. He can't get you there... He'll
try... First with chemical weapons, and then with fucking nukes... He knows how
to use them, goddamnit!!! Stop laughing.. I'm goddamned serious!!! We can take
'em if we act now!!! REALLY!!! But we have to hurry, before Christmas... It's
all part of his goddamned plan... He's going to destroy civilization and
replace it with fucking hatedeer anarchy!!! Something has to be done... Don't
you understand!!! DON'T YOU!!!
Ackkk. Ack. Ack. Ack..... Ackkkk......... Fuck.... It's the
radiation..... He's around here.... Got to.... got to..... ack....