💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › food › beerwarn.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 16:29:58.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Subject: Spokes: BEER WARNING LABELS Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the > following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!! WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.