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A Sysop's Peeves
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It takes a special kind of crazy to make an otherwise
normal-looking human being choose to operate a bulletin board
system... very often (s)he's placing valuable equipment at the
mercy of others, and spending valuable time, and not really
minding a bit. A little acknowledgement, the occasional "thank
you", and periodic uploads of fresh public domain software seem
to keep these types happy. However (you knew there had to be a
however to this, after reading the title, didn't you?), there are
a few things that can... shall we say... b o t h e r a system
operator.
The bothersome users of a bulletin board fall into some
broad classes, which are not necessarily mutually exclusive nor
all that well-defined. Some are truly obnoxious, while others can
get the Sysop upset with a third party, the world in general, or
with... ummm... the Sysop.
Let us introduce the first, and most obnoxious, of those
users capable of having an effect on an operator's blood
pressure. We'll call him the "Owner", because that's how the
creature behaves... like he owns the BBS (not likely to endear
himself to the sap who pays the bills, no?). There are a broad
range of symptoms displayed by an Owner. First of all, there is
generally no respect given to all the other users of the system:
he'll log on at 7 P.M. and stay there downloading files until the
system (or operator) hangs up on him. At other times he'll call
for a chat with the Sysop: if the Sysop's not there, he'll leave
a nasty message complaining about the Sysop's inattentiveness. If
the Sysop is there, he'll go on at lengths (typing slowly) asking
why the files HE wants aren't always there, and why the BBS isn't
tailored to HIS interests and needs. The only thing good about
this creature is that he will either (1) get bored and suck some
other Sysop's BBS dry, or (2) get the message that he's being a
pig.
Next in our BBS zoo we have the Bull. Owners tend to be
Bulls, too. A Bull behaves like he's in a china shop, crashing
about, spending tremendous amounts of time discovering the
variety of error messages the BBS keeps on file. Now, this sort
of behaviour is not really frustrating to a Sysop... unless he's
waiting to use the BBS himself. What REALLY gets the Sysop is
that a full-scale Bull will refuse to admit that it might be
faster to read the Help files, and if he does have a question,
he'll pose it to the Sysop himself. This Sysop has a standard
response: silence. Any question adequately answered in the Help
files does not need further attention. Fortunately for Sysops,
most Bulls are self-curing. They will either discover the Help
files or puzzle out the BBS structure by trial and error... and
error... and error...
Then there's the Apologist, who gets the Sysop mad at
himself. What happens is the Sysop will complain publicly about
some Owner or Bull on the system, and the Apologist will then
leave a message saying he's sorry for spending so much time
downloading a file, or that he tried various commands before
going for Help. Why is the Sysop mad? Because a valued user has
felt badly about the Sysop's complaints, while the REAL object of
the whole mess never read the rotten complaint anyway!
Last, and probably Least, is the classic Twit. Twits are
usually lacking in most of the social graces. A Twit usually is
unable to spell nor comprehend "courtesy". He'll go right past
the Sysop's request not to post messages offering to pirate
software, and then post a message offering to pirate software.
Requests for clean language are met with profanity, and when the
offending messages are wiped from the BBS, the Twit will be
absolutely outraged. Twits tend to run in groups, and will
descend on a BBS like a horde of locusts. Twits either grow up
(mentally: a low physical age is not a prerequisite for one to be
a Twit) or discover a BBS operated by a fellow Twit who tolerates
them. The "cracker" (what the press erroneously terms a
"hacker"), who delights in trying to crash remote systems to
cause maximum discomfort and damage, is a true Twit.
Thank goodness there is the Decent User. This is the person
who will upload files someone's looking for, read the messages
and pipe up if he's got something to say, and will feel a twinge
of guilt (needlessly) when he downloads that neat-looking big
file or can't find anything half-decent to contribute. They may
not be thanked, but they're the ones responsible for the
continued operation of a BBS.
- Bob Maxwell,
Sysop (no foolin', huh?), Turbo BBS,
Vancouver, B.C. (604) 738-7811
July 21, 1986
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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