💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › bbs › career.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 15:51:46.
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Snoop Doggy Dogg....need
:oB's:%%%%%%%%::%%%%%%%::::::%%:::F:R:A:U:D: ta get a Jobby Job!"
:::::::%%:::%%:::%%::::%%::%%%%::::::::::::: - Calvin Broadus Sr.
::::::%%::::::::%%::::%%::%%%%::U:L:E:N:T::: Well I'm back with another
:::::%%%%%:::::%%%%%%%:::%%%%::::::::::::::: morsel, penned from the
::::%%::::::::%%::::%%:::%%:::B:E:H:A:V::::: impulses of my devious
:::%%::::::::%%::::%%::::::::::::::::::::::: synapses. As we all know,
:%%%%%%%:::%%%%%%%%::::%%:::I:O:U:R:!::::::: money makes the world go
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: round. But if you want money
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: you gots to get a JOB! That in
:#02::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::14-JUN-96: mind, let's explore some...
....Career Opportunites...
aka: A Hacker's Guide to a US$50,000/yr Job
INTRO
Just graduated from College? GPA to low to get a good job? Try this...
CONFIDENCE
Call your University Alumni office and request information on Career
Counseling. Get the Name, Address, and Phone Number of a Career Counselor.
Send a letter to the Career Counselor explaining that you would like
information on Career Counseling options, and ask that they WRITE you back
with the information.
You should receive a letter back from the Career Counselor of your school,
along with lists of names, phone numbers, and a bunch of other Crap. Throw
all that sh*t away, EXCEPT for the letter from the Career Counselor.
The letter should be on University Letterhead. Scan the document. (If you
don't have a scanner, see my file on Burning Kinko's.)
Use Photoshop or the like to wipe out all the blah, blah, blah, the Career
Counselor wrote you. The only thing you need are the Letterhead and the
Career Counselors Signature.
Write your own letter talking about how great you are and what a benefit you
would be to any Employer. Make sure you signed the letter (with the
Counselors scanned signature of course.)
Print the letter out, preferably on like paper as the original document and
in color if necessary (have you read my file on Burning Kinko's.) Also, for
good measure, use the Letterhead logo to make a good looking envelope.
Now then, Scan in those horrendous College Transcripts detailing your 2.01
GPA. Use Photoshop to doctor them up, and then print 'em out. Note: It is a
competitive world, TRUST ME! Make yourself a Genius (note the capital G) 3.0
is NOT competitive. 4.0 just barely gets you on the playing field. 4.2,
you're lookin' good!
Ok, now you're a genius with an illustrious (sp?) GPA to prove it. Let it be
known. Write one HELL of a Resume'. If you're not too good at making
Resume's, call Kinko's and ask them to fax you samples of the different
Resume' styles they have. Find one you like, and recreate it. I recreated
ALL of their Resume' styles using nothing more than Word 5.0. Believe me,
it's EASY to write a nice Resume' when you're following a model. Important
Note: When filling out your Resume', if you need/want to embellish a bit on
your Work History, make up the great job positions you've had at Fortune 500
companies, make up Supervisor names, and then consult the alt.2600/#hack FAQ
for phone numbers that ALWAYS RING BUSY. Gosh darnit, everytime they try and
touch base with your past employers the dang lines always busy. Oh well.
Alright, now you have a bunk letter of recommendation from the Career
Counselor of your University, you have bogus College Transcripts, and you
have a Resume detailing your faux-exemplary College credentials, and
prevaricated Work History. The only issue left is: where do you wanna work?
Wherever you wanna work, find out the address for the Dir. of Personnel,
Admin. of Human Resources, or, ideally Department Head for Career
Recruitment. Career Recruitment are those guys from BIG corporations that
recruit hot prospects right out of College.
Did you get the address? Good, now get like 10 more for 10 other places
you'd like to work.
Make 10 packets (Letter of Recomendation, Resume', Transcripts, Envelopes)
and send them to your 10 potential employers. Wait a couple of weeks and...
"RING"
PSEUDO-BRAGGADOCIO
Not to brag but there is a real beauty to this that really makes it the most
viable way to get a job. See one of the hardest things about finding a job,
especially with a big corporation, is determining what position you wish to
apply for. I mean, I've never seen anyone get a real job by applying for
position 'OPEN'. When you want a good job, you have to know in advance what
position you wanna fill...unless you let someone else determine that for
you. See the beauty of the described method (and you'll find this out if you
try it), is when you start you get calls from employers, they'll ALREADY
have a position in mind that they want you to fill..
'Hello' 'Hello, is Torre Moss in?' 'This is he.' 'Hello, Torre, this Bill
Blass at Micros0ft, just got your Resume'. Looks good. We've got a position
open in Marketing we think you would be PERFECT for, can you come in for an
interview?' 'Ahhh sure, I just have to fly to Colorado first and thank
oleBuzzard'
And it's as simple as that....really....and think about it, what do you have
to lose?
OUTRO
I've said it before and I'll say it again, you can be anything you can make
someone believe you are....create your own opportunities. kn0wledge pheak
BBS is gone for good. I'ved moved on to bigger and better things. If you
need to contact me, information follows, and though the BBS is gone, it's
legacy lives on in the kn0wledge phreak CD! See ya online, and look for more
of my Infmaous T-Philes at kn0wledge phreak WWW!
___
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