💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › anarchy › anarcy2.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 15:37:57.
View Raw
More Information
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Y
17. How to Make Nitro-Glycerine
18. How to Kill with your bare hands.
19. Fighting Dirty. How to always win in a fight!
20. How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD!
21. How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD!
22. 101 ways to kill yourself. (Jeezzz)
23. The Pros and Cons of Death...
24. Murder Made Easy.
25. How to make friends and annoy people.
26. Poorman's James Bond
27. Pissing People Off Part I
28. Pissing People Off Part ][
29. M.A.I.M. Vol. 1
30. Anarchy Done Right
31. Anti-Boredom Activities
32. Fun with Bees
33. Getting Others to Kill Themselves
34. Anarchy 10 Commandments
35. 20 Ways to Sabatoge Your School
More to come....
More (Y/N/NS): 18
(T) Toggle Database Download On/Off
(Q) Quit this base
Select (Q=Exit)> 18
-------[=How to Kill Someone==]-----
-------[=WITH YOUR BARE HANDS=]-----
AN EXCERPT FROM THE ANARCHISTS COOKBOOK.....
TYPED AND U/L'ED BY---> Lyrec
-----
This file will explain the basics of hand-to-hand combat, and will
tell of the best places to strike and kill an enemy...
/*/*/*/*/*/*//*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*//*/
When engaged in hand-to-hand combat, your life is always at stake.
There is only one purpose in combat, and that is to kill your enemy.
Never face an enemy with the idea of knocking him out. The chances
are extremely good that he will kill YOU instead.
When a weapon is not available, one must resort to the full use of
his natural weapons. The natural weapons are:
1. The knife edge of your hands.
2. fingers folded at the second joint or knuckle.
More (Y/N/NS):
3. The protruding knuckle of your second finger.
4. The heel of your hand.
5. Your boot
6. Elbows
7. Knees
8. and Teeth.
Attacking is a primary factor. A fight was never won by defensive
action. Attack with all of your strength. At any point or any
situation, some vulnerable point on your enemies body will be open
for attack. Do this while screaming,as screaming has two purposes.
1. To frighten and confuse your enemy.
2. To allow you to take a deep breath which, in turn, will put more
oxygen in your blood stream.
Your balance and balance of your enemy are two inportant factors;
since, if you succeed in making your enemy lose his balance, the
chances are nine to one that you can kill him in your next move.
The best over-all stance is where your feet are spread about
More (Y/N/NS):
shoulders width apart, with your right foot about a foot ahead of
the left. Both arms should be bent at the elbows parallel to each
other. Stand on the balls of your feet and bend your waist slightly.
Kind of like a boxer's crouch. Employing a sudden movement or a s
cream or yell can throw your enemy off-balance.
There are many vulnerable points of the body. We will cover them now:
Eyes: Use your fingers in a V-shape and attack in gouging motion.
Nose:(Extremely vulnerable) Strike with the knife edge of the hand
along the bridge, which will cause breakage, sharp pain,
temporary blindness, and if the blow is hard enough, death.
Also, deliver a blow with the heel of your hand in an upward motion,
this will shove the bone up into the brain causing death.
Adam's Apple: This spot is usually pretty well protected, but if
you get the chance, strike hard with the knife edge of your hand.
This should sever the wind-pipe, and then it's all over in a matter
of minutes.
More (Y/N/NS):
Temple: There is a large artery up here, and if you hit it hard
enough, it will cause death. If you manage to knock your enemy down,
kick him in the temple, and he'll never get up again.
Back of the Neck: A rabbit punch, or blow delivered to the base of the
neck can easily break it, but to be safe, it is better to use the
butt of a gun or some other heavy blunt object.
Upper lip: A large network of nerves are located. These nerves are
extrememly close to the skin. A sharp upward blow will cause extreme
pain, and unconciosness.
Ears: Coming up from behind an enemy and cupping the hands in a
clapping motion over the victims ears can kill him immediately. The
vibrations caused from the clapping motion will burst his eardrums,
and cause internal bleeding in the brain.
Groin: A VERY vulnerable spot. If left open, get it with knee hard,
and he'll buckle over very fast.
More (Y/N/NS):
Kidneys: A large nerve that branches off to the spinal cord comes
very close to the skin at the kidneys. A direct blow with the knife
edge of your hand can cause death.
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
There are many more ways to kill and injure an enemy, but these
should work best for the average person. This is meant only as
information and I would not reccomend that you use this for a simple
High School Brawl.
Use these methods only, in your opinion, if your life is in danger.
Anyone of these methods could very easily kill or cause permanent
damage to someone.
One more word of caution, you should practice these moves before
using them on a dummy, or a mock battle with a friend. (You don't
have to actually hit him to practice, just work on accuracy)
--------[================]-----------
Part two of this file will contain
ways of killing a person with weapons
instead of bare hands.
More (Y/N/NS):
------------[]=[]=[]=[]--------------
*HAVE PHUN*
and as always
Stolen from the Pipeline BBS 805-526-5660
Press any key to continue
- Thrashers Way -
(A compilation of anarchy)
1. How to Party. (For nerds)
2. How to Make a Drano(c) Bomb
3. How to Make a Letter Bomb
4. How to Make a Light Bulb Bomb
5. Getting Revenge!
6. How to Make M-80's
7. Miscellaneous Nasties
8. Iodine Bomb
9. How to pick locks
10. Even More Nasties I
11. And More Nasties ][
12. How to make Black Powder
13. A Pay Fone Bomb
14. A Gas Tank Bomb (GR8!)
15. How to Make Dynamite
16. How To Make an Anti-Personal Bomb
More (Y/N/NS): Y
17. How to Make Nitro-Glycerine
18. How to Kill with your bare hands.
19. Fighting Dirty. How to always win in a fight!
20. How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD!
21. How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD!
22. 101 ways to kill yourself. (Jeezzz)
23. The Pros and Cons of Death...
24. Murder Made Easy.
25. How to make friends and annoy people.
26. Poorman's James Bond
27. Pissing People Off Part I
28. Pissing People Off Part ][
29. M.A.I.M. Vol. 1
30. Anarchy Done Right
31. Anti-Boredom Activities
32. Fun with Bees
33. Getting Others to Kill Themselves
34. Anarchy 10 Commandments
35. 20 Ways to Sabatoge Your School
More to come....
More (Y/N/NS): 19
(T) Toggle Database Download On/Off
(Q) Quit this base
Select (Q=Exit)> 19
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++ +++
+++ Fightin' Dirty +++
+++ <<<<<<<>>>>>>> +++
+++ +++
+++ By Jolly*Roger +++
+++ <<<<<<<<>>>>>> +++
+++ +++
+++ +++
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Neon Knights have been known to make peoples lives miserable just for
calling there houses when they were sleeping and letting the fone ring till
we've answered it. Well just how we get even is going to be showed in this
file. I'm not talking about doing a half assed CN/A or setting the modem for
auto-dial, I'm talking kicking ass and laying up people in the hospital.
When fighting face to face with someone, I could never understand why one
More (Y/N/NS):
asshole says either," Meet me after school in the parking lot!", or," Put up
your dukes!" This is notorious with dumb jocks. They actually think that your
gonna have a set time for fighting?! Man, most of us are headbangers, we don't
go for that shit! When you fight with a joke and he says that just get out A)
Your trusty knife or B) Your big old aluminum bat you stole from the school gym
(Right Kurt!). B-E-A-T theeee living shit outta the bastard! Fuck that after
school bullshit!! If you wanna win the fight, then fight dirty!! My friend
once got in a fight with this big motherfuckin 250 pound Linebacker, he did this
and sent the bastard to the hospital. I tell ya, those jocks mess don't with
him anymore (ofcourse, he got caught for stealing at a Stop 'n' Rob and is in
Juvy for 8 months).
Next type of fighting is when bastard ass college dumbfucks flip you off on a
street corner. This always seems to happen to me, being that I live 5 miles
from the U of M campus. When this does occur, you may handle it two ways. The
first way is that you promptly slam the brakes on and get outta the car and tell
his ass to come on over so you can kick his ass. If this is a big jock type
college dude don't worry they ALL have there weak spot. Right in the Nuts!!
Some people may tell you this is panzy assed to do, but there also usually the
ones that have a busted nose that whistles when they eat cereal. If its a
little geek type fuckin Jew, then they will probly keep sucking on there slurpee
More (Y/N/NS):
and ignore you. This is where the second way comes in. Pull around the block
and follow him at a close distance from behind in your car. I guarantee he will
either walk up to the closest house in site and sit on the porch pretending its
his house. Well all you have to do to flush the little weasel-faced big nose
off the porch is to blow the horn until someone comes to the door. The he'll
either get off the porch, or you can scream at him something like," Come on
Abe(Good Jewish name) mommy says that she isn't mad at you anymore, you can come
home now!" This'll usually either get him walking or the person who lives at the
house talking the bastard to get the fuck home. When he does get off the porch
he'll probly think your some kinda psychopath because you been trying like hell
to get him, now you can do what you like to him, either kick his ass or take all
his money.
This next one is a personal favorite of mine, I call it "The paperboy needs
his ass kicked for kicking my favorite dog". Early in the morning when he goes
to deliver his papers find a place where you can ambush him. Then when he comes
flying by on his bike, take a stick or metal pipe and stick it in his front
wheel, it'll catch in and when it hits the forks he'll go head over heels onto
the ground in a blaze of newspaper all over. The fun isn't over yet, now grab
his newspaper bag and tie it around his head so he can't see before he figures
out what is happening. Now beat the shit outta him. Don't say ANYTHING. This
More (Y/N/NS):
will make him pretty scared when he doesn't know who is or why he is getting
beat up. He might even quit and now you can have a summer job!
Some pointers on fighting dirty:
When the assholes starts cutting you down, hit. Don't talk back.
Don't make threats you can't keep.(I.E.: Your dead, man!)
Always carry your 6 inch blade around.(I prefer scuba knives because there
stainless steel, and have a metal knob on the handle end so you can knock the
dude out).
If you start losing the fight, go for the nuts. Like I said it sounds gay,
but who gets the last laugh when Biff turns out sterile?
When you fight niggers, try to stay away from there Fro's cause it'll make
your hands greasy and you won't be able wrestle them down. Come to think about
it, even there skin is greasy and they smell like piss! Better take my first
hand experience and use a bat on the bastard. Its less of a hassle.
More (Y/N/NS):
If you get a chance, break the motherfuckers neck( Its sweet as hell when the
dude goes into convulsions, pretty impressive with the bitches too!)
If you really want someone dead, buy a gun. They ALWAYS work. .44's or
.357's are best, thats cause they usually don't give the guy a chance to hear
his last rites.
Thats the way the Neon Knights do it!! Also, We've been called DemiGod's, and
we are. Thanks for all the support!
Hope this file was interesting and informative! Go out and kick some ass!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Press any key to continue
- Thrashers Way -
(A compilation of anarchy)
1. How to Party. (For nerds)
2. How to Make a Drano(c) Bomb
3. How to Make a Letter Bomb
4. How to Make a Light Bulb Bomb
5. Getting Revenge!
6. How to Make M-80's
7. Miscellaneous Nasties
8. Iodine Bomb
9. How to pick locks
10. Even More Nasties I
11. And More Nasties ][
12. How to make Black Powder
13. A Pay Fone Bomb
14. A Gas Tank Bomb (GR8!)
15. How to Make Dynamite
16. How To Make an Anti-Personal Bomb
More (Y/N/NS): Y
17. How to Make Nitro-Glycerine
18. How to Kill with your bare hands.
19. Fighting Dirty. How to always win in a fight!
20. How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD!
21. How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD!
22. 101 ways to kill yourself. (Jeezzz)
23. The Pros and Cons of Death...
24. Murder Made Easy.
25. How to make friends and annoy people.
26. Poorman's James Bond
27. Pissing People Off Part I
28. Pissing People Off Part ][
29. M.A.I.M. Vol. 1
30. Anarchy Done Right
31. Anti-Boredom Activities
32. Fun with Bees
33. Getting Others to Kill Themselves
34. Anarchy 10 Commandments
35. 20 Ways to Sabatoge Your School
More to come....
More (Y/N/NS): N
Select (Q=Exit)> 20
(-:} How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD! (-:}
{:-) Written by The Outland of The Neon Knights {:-)
After killing Santa Claus last December I decided to out do myself by killing
Peter Cotton Tail (that damn Easter Bunny). What could be more sick than a
repulsive bunny coming around and giving young children candy and filling their
hearts with joy? It's a little easier than Santa Claus, Santa was a bitch
to kill because he was so damn FAT! So if you see the Easter Bunny come by
your house take any of the suggestions in this file. (If he comes to my
house it will be the last egg the fucker ever lays).
Lay land mines in the yard, when he hops onto one BOOM!
Stick an M-80 up his ass and watch the fucker hop around the place until his
ass gets blown to hell.
When the bunny puts an egg into a basket, stab his paw with a fork!
More (Y/N/NS):
While you have his paw forked to the ground, take a lighter to his ears.
Cut his tail off and give it to a kid.
Shoot him through the neck with a bow.
Shoot a land to land missile at him and watch the sucker burn.
Pour gasoline on him when he comes under your front door and light the little
fuck up. Watch him hop around the yard in circles as he burns to DEATH!
Booby trap your easter basket so when the little rabbit lays some eggs into the
basket his pays get blown off. Now watch him try to hop again.
Break his paws and legs and prod him with a fork to make him try and hop. See
how much pain he is in before the damn fucker dies.
Nail his tail to the road and run him over with a steam roller.
Tie a rope around his neck and swing him around and around.
More (Y/N/NS):
Attach a fishing line to his mouth and cast him out and reel him in several
times. Then go deep sea fishing in shark waters.
Tie a rope around his neck and tie the other end to the bumper of a public bus.
Hit him in the head with a hammer as he lays some eggs in a basket.
Hold him hostage and ask for some money, kill him anyway and do me a favor.
Grab a hold of the repulsive animal and shave him, then paint him red. Set him
into a field and see how long he lives during hunting season.
Fire a flame thrower at the son-of-a-bitch and watch him squirm.
Throw him out the window of a speeding car into a wall.
Drop him out the window of a plane in flight onto the ground.
Trap him and put him into a cage with either a very vicious cat or a FLAMING
homosexual. Watch the cat, or the fag for that matter, rip him apart.
Listen to old Pete oink like a pig as the fag prods him.
More (Y/N/NS):
A few things to do with a dead easter rabbit:
1) Use him as a floor mat
2) Give him to your dog as a toy
3) Use his fur to put out cigarettes/cigars/...favorite narcotics...
4) Stick a wire up his ass and use him for a TV antenna
5) Use him to soak up oil on the garage floor
6) Tie his nose to his tail and use him as a base ball
That's it, happy killing. Look for other files such as "Killing Kupids",
"Sacrificing St. Pattie", "How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD".
This has been a Neon Knights release. Keep this in mind:
"We are the Neon Knights, and you suck. You really do suck!"
I would especially like to thank all the following for their help:
More (Y/N/NS):
The Blade, Jolly*Roger, Zandar Zan, The Metallian, Metal Communications,
(just a few others here), The Easter Bunny for letting me kill him dead, NCFPEB
(National Commitee For the Protection of Easter Bunnies), NATO, the USSR,
The Dead Milkmen for blaring "Fucked up world" as I wrote this, The Apothecary,
The Dark Knight, GOD, my friends in California who are now serving 2 years in
JD for being bad, my friends at the FBI, MaBell for being ignorant, Killer
Kurt, Dave, Jim, My x, FBPA (Federal Bunny Protection Agency), Rose and Ellen
for being so cool to us, and of course Mike for being such a suck-fucking dick!
(a few others, but I wont go into detail)
The
Outland
Press any key to continue
- Thrashers Way -
(A compilation of anarchy)
1. How to Party. (For nerds)
2. How to Make a Drano(c) Bomb
3. How to Make a Letter Bomb
4. How to Make a Light Bulb Bomb
5. Getting Revenge!
6. How to Make M-80's
7. Miscellaneous Nasties
8. Iodine Bomb
9. How to pick locks
10. Even More Nasties I
11. And More Nasties ][
12. How to make Black Powder
13. A Pay Fone Bomb
14. A Gas Tank Bomb (GR8!)
15. How to Make Dynamite
16. How To Make an Anti-Personal Bomb
More (Y/N/NS): Y
17. How to Make Nitro-Glycerine
18. How to Kill with your bare hands.
19. Fighting Dirty. How to always win in a fight!
20. How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD!
21. How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD!
22. 101 ways to kill yourself. (Jeezzz)
23. The Pros and Cons of Death...
24. Murder Made Easy.
25. How to make friends and annoy people.
26. Poorman's James Bond
27. Pissing People Off Part I
28. Pissing People Off Part ][
29. M.A.I.M. Vol. 1
30. Anarchy Done Right
31. Anti-Boredom Activities
32. Fun with Bees
33. Getting Others to Kill Themselves
34. Anarchy 10 Commandments
35. 20 Ways to Sabatoge Your School
More to come....
More (Y/N/NS): 21
(T) Toggle Database Download On/Off
(Q) Quit this base
Select (Q=Exit)> 21
Extracting file KILLSANT.HUM
///\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\
| |
| How to Kill Santa Claus Dead
Neon Knights/Metal Communications Release |
| |
\\\////\\\\////\\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\///
This is my second file of the christmas season, it's the thought of people
being happy and nothing that I can do to make thier day as rotten as possible.
Christmas season is great, because if you kill Santa Clause all the little kids
wont get shit gifts to open on the 24th! Look at all these dueche bags out
there dressed in those stupid red suits, wouldn't you feel satisfied by actually
killing one or all of them? I would, I personally find great personal
satisfaction in killing of as many bastards in thpse suits as possible, and
that's why I'm here... Share some personal experiences in killing of the Santa
Clauses.
More (Y/N/NS):
Stretch a piano cord across the road between two telephone poles so when the
bastard (Saint Nick) come flying by on a sleigh or a fire engine his head will
come right off.
Obtain a hand held land to air heat seaking missile, when he comes by, nuke
the fuck to kingdome-come!
Point a .45 caliber starting pistol at his head when he's in the mall and
threaten to give him a massive vasectomy. Then fire and watch the fat shit have
a heart attack!
Put a gas burner on the bottom of your fire place.
Put a shot gun on the bottom of your fire place attacked to the handle on the
flew.
Put a lot of oil on your roof and watch the fat shit try and land!
Kick him off his sleigh in mid air.
Put an altimeter bomb in his sleigh, so when he goes high enough it's bye-bye
More (Y/N/NS): NS
for the fuck.
Loosen the blades on his sleigh when he trys to land, it's Santa all over the
place.
Sacrifice his reign deer.
Bolt a rope to the roof of your house, and tie the other end to his sleigh.
It's one fucked up sleigh when he gets moving.
Run over him with a car when he lands on the road.
Fire a fat-seeking missile at his sleigh in mid air.
Have him arrested at night time for breaking and entering into your house.
When he comes down the chiminey, smash him across the face with a metal base
ball bat.
Fire a flame thrower at him when he's a-comin down the chimney.
Just remember when the old bastard comes---
"You better not pout, you better not cry, Santa Claus is coming to town."
---little does the fat shit know if he comes near my town he's gonna have the
worst night of his life, not to mention the last.
When all else fails, kill the fuck....
>Outland>
Press any key to continue
- Thrashers Way -
(A compilation of anarchy)
1. How to Party. (For nerds)
2. How to Make a Drano(c) Bomb
3. How to Make a Letter Bomb
4. How to Make a Light Bulb Bomb
5. Getting Revenge!
6. How to Make M-80's
7. Miscellaneous Nasties
8. Iodine Bomb
9. How to pick locks
10. Even More Nasties I
11. And More Nasties ][
12. How to make Black Powder
13. A Pay Fone Bomb
14. A Gas Tank Bomb (GR8!)
15. How to Make Dynamite
16. How To Make an Anti-Personal Bomb
More (Y/N/NS): Y
17. How to Make Nitro-Glycerine
18. How to Kill with your bare hands.
19. Fighting Dirty. How to always win in a fight!
20. How to kill the Easter Bunny DEAD!
21. How to Kill Santa Claus DEAD!
22. 101 ways to kill yourself. (Jeezzz)
23. The Pros and Cons of Death...
24. Murder Made Easy.
25. How to make friends and annoy people.
26. Poorman's James Bond
27. Pissing People Off Part I
28. Pissing People Off Part ][
29. M.A.I.M. Vol. 1
30. Anarchy Done Right
31. Anti-Boredom Activities
32. Fun with Bees
33. Getting Others to Kill Themselves
34. Anarchy 10 Commandments
35. 20 Ways to Sabatoge Your School
More to come....
More (Y/N/NS): 22
(T) Toggle Database Download On/Off
(Q) Quit this base
Select (Q=Exit)> 22
{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;
G-Men Inc. Presents.
&{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;{body}amp;$
101 WAYS
TO KILL YOURSELF!
-----------------
G-Men Inc. is a new company that will be racking out the text files! To
start off we will have - 101 ways TO KILL YOURSELF!
In case you decide to commit suicide or just want something to do when the
boards are busy, try the ideas listed here for extreme pleasure and a phun life.
101 ways to kill thy self...
More (Y/N/NS): NS
----------------------------
1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are
still alive, repeat as necessary till dead...
2) cut your balls off (if you have them)
3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy
4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down
vigirously
5) fart in a balloon and light a match
6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of
vinegar
7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to
pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped
8) eat shit and die.....
9) try inhaling a fart right out of your own asshole....
10) fuck Ronald Reagan-
11) or his wife.....
12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river
13) or maybe try skydiving underwater......
14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A.
15) sit on a pitchfork
16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China
17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp
18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day
19) plug your ass with a cork and stand at the edge of a cliff and fart
20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end
21) slide down a razor blade
22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt
23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket
24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin!
25) cross a highway blindfolded
26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff
27) do whatever your parents say...
28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag
29) sleep late on a Saturday....
30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes
31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?"
32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack!
splash! gargle... thump.
33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months
34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!"
35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip.
36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it)
37) try katching a spiked boomerang...
38) try picking your brain via your nose...
39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!])
40) listen to E.F. Hutton
41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating
42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft
43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor
44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill
45) stick your hand in a paper shredder
46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you
sleep in it
47) sit on a scorpion
48) get your head caught in a beehive
49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness)
50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce
51) sleigh ride off your roof
52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign
53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce
54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes
you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise]
55) skydive into an exploding volcano (if you live through this, contact me
on the Circus BBS 201-592-0456)
56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway
57) volunteer to be a subway brake
58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.?
59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck
60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a
spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of
you)
61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]...
62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth
63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires
64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!]
65) go to Russia
66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..]
67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it!
68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead
69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche
70) eat a piece of Uranium
71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up!
72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running
73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck
74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face!
75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds
76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde
77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match
78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory
79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball
80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day
81) slurp nuclear waste
82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places
83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra
84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train
85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating
- you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face!
86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!]
87) ski off a cliff
88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass
89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce
that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye!
90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm)
91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country
92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone
93) try to catch a Roadrunner
94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!]
95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself
from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you!
96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out
in different directions - Slowly!
97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat
slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand
fall neatly into the palm of the other hand
98) try writing this G-Phile
99) put it this way - commit suicide!
100) Do all of the above [in order!]
*101*) Try to kill yourself and it will work!
Watch for more G-Philes from $G-Men$
coming soon to a nearby BBS or AE....
____________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer: This phile was tested and certified for acutual use. If any
problems occur, let me know and you will get a full refund. Good Luck!
_____________________________________________--------_______________________
G-Men Inc. consists of APPLESMASH and THE INTRUDER.
(the authors of this phile take no responsibility whatsoever for any injuries
and/or deadly accidents occuring as a result of stupidness.)
-=-=-=-=-=-=- Copywrong (X) 1985-86 by G-Men Inc. -=-=-=-=-=-=-
Press any key to continue
Daily quota exceeded!
Daily quota exceeded!
Connected: 50 minutes. 40 minutes remaining.
-)Go(-> D
Daily quota exceeded!
Connected: 50 minutes. 40 minutes remaining.
-)Go(->