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  =====>                      VacHaus provisionals                      <===== 
    / /                   a TNtD (Try Not to Die) drop                   \\    

                                 A Poetry tDrop

                                  by Wetdryvac
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Intermezzo While Baking
May 22, 2022

right, hang on, let me see if I remember the words
something about master, and not using the phrase

get stuffed

overly often with inverse telemarketers
look, you called, I came, that ��s how this thing works
but the whole notion that I ��m automatically contracted
or in turn that if you make a single error, I ��ll eat you

that ��s naff

cookies are in the oven, folks are coming over in twenty minutes
and hey presto, here ��s another circle, some poor sausage
clearly untrained  �� that ��s a break in your circle there  �� now panicking

don ��t care

here, have my card
clear, simple instructions
if you ��d like to hire me
write down your details
in detail

state your desired contract terms
and if I ��m interested
we ��ll negotiate payment

as an aside, I see you ��ve got a lovely ceremonial knife there
and some cute fluffy creatures in a cage, which I ��ll be taking
clearly, some half-wit in the seventeen hundreds
didn ��t even start to comprehend the basics of animal care

look, if you stab them, they die
all the cuteness falls out
and if you bring  ��em back to feed  ��em
their eating habits get to be

let ��s say

unfortunately geared towards finding the person who ended  ��em
which I ��m generally  �� stop panicking, I told you the circle wasn ��t right
oh, sweet babies, I do love me some kittens, come hither, darlings
[redacted] ��s gonna bring you up just right

read the card

next time, very specifically, make sure to include the opt in
that way I won ��t just get dragged away from my baking
and I ��ll get back to you as soon as I can
it ��s not as if I don ��t love my job
just don ��t want any more of this ignorant yank-the-chain
come eat my babies instead of my soul faffing about

souls aren ��t food

though if you happen to do up some good jalapeno corn bread
maybe a spot of gumbo, some jambalaya, I ��d be down for that
consider tasty things a courtesy next go-round

c ��mon kitties
let ��s go have cookies

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    With thanks to the good folks at Hackers.Town for answering the very
    n00best of questions, with the following people politely [REDACTED].
    May your time go in a manner you consent to.
    
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    IRC [REDACTED]
    Poetry, Short Form, With Contact https://writing.exchange/@wetdryvac
    Poetry, Long Form, With Contact https://landofkittens.social/Wetdryvac
    Web https://www.wetdryvac.net
    KoFi https://ko-fi.com/wetdryvac
    Links https://linktr.ee/wetdryvac
    MATRIX [REDACTED]
    BBS [REDACTED]
    Primary mastodon residence, With Contact https://hackers.town/@Wetdryvac
    All the other coms access points [REDACTED]

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