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  =====>                      VacHaus provisionals                      <===== 
    / /                   a TNtD (Try Not to Die) drop                   \\    

                                 A Poetry tDrop

                                  by Wetdryvac
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Teaching Mantra 
October 1, 1995 

I had to -- be born, be made
    you wanted a son of a bitch and got me in his place
I had to -- be
    when you would have had me drowned
    but for the hiding
    for pride
    embarrassed that you'd created a girl child
I had to be nothing for a time
    close everything down so I wouldn't kill you when you spoke --
    by reflex
I had to bury you
I had to honor your passing
    honor your father -- you named me little bitch
    and I named me Nhillium
    because such is the way
I had to be silent
    when you raped me
    my fault's penance -- I had no right to be
I had to be silent
    though my bones themselves spoke thunder in my ears when they went
    their crowd of clapping extinguished mine eyes
I had to be silent to keep the day in the city
    from swallowing me entire
    skin burning from the wind
I had to be -- barren
    because I was too made wrong
I had to blister with shame
    for existence itself
I had to be -- silent
    with the eyes of the whole circle upon me when you died
I had to cry
    to be able to cry
    by ceremony
    but my face wouldn't even bend
I had to live 


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    With thanks to the good folks at Hackers.Town for answering the very
    n00best of questions, with the following people politely [REDACTED].
    May your time go in a manner you consent to.
    
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
    
    IRC [REDACTED]
    Poetry, Short Form, With Contact https://writing.exchange/@wetdryvac
    Poetry, Long Form, With Contact https://landofkittens.social/Wetdryvac
    Web https://www.wetdryvac.net
    KoFi https://ko-fi.com/wetdryvac
    Links https://linktr.ee/wetdryvac
    MATRIX [REDACTED]
    BBS [REDACTED]
    Primary mastodon residence, With Contact https://hackers.town/@Wetdryvac
    All the other coms access points [REDACTED]

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