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_______________________________________________________________________________ \\ / / =====> VacHaus provisionals <===== / / a TNtD (Try Not to Die) drop \\ A Poetry tDrop by Wetdryvac _______________________________________________________________________________ Expectations March 15, 1992 do you ever wonder what it is like to die would you be surprised if I told you I knew not first hand, of course else this tale untold would be but close, a friend of mine her name is unimportant, a twist twixt her and me to you, a nothing, unremembered the face that death will enter slowly a specter of night ��s shadow she started easily, you know, lying on her bed almost looking comfortable just a wheeze and a drag on her cigarette pale skun �� nothing really wrong �� youth so sure of everything I came to visit every now and then as her reality started to sift over me thinner, straining to light her cancer sticks inhaling destruction until the end I watched her waste away, you see the hardest part I have ever played alone and always told her I was happy to be there wanting only to look away from how the pain set in she would look at me unknowing or lie and moan, cough up blood what could I do this was my friend she left late one night no one told me she was gone just said, you can ��t go see her today so I stayed home, not knowing death existed I found out truth a few weeks later no one bothered to tell me parents I give you this it is your duty to tell children everything the good and bad will reach them best that first come words I only knew my friend did not want to see me later, only that she hadn ��t said goodbye death was a place people visited indeed a cruel beast, unfit for children but that which is breaches barriers do not think to save pain for pain adds pain in the unreal even as a child I knew the lie never forgot I still miss my friend and I never forgave a lie she doesn ��t want to see you today- dead two weeks since, even a child could hear the lie children see the world this may be why my writing is all that I see going wrong for holding everything tight into myself exposition or explode and if I ever see a lie therein bides my anger memories more real than my now and though I try to work it out I can only write of it for death is never spoken you must never think again, my child never trust or feel for if you do not shut yourself away you may loose your mind and I did not know the answers hurt in suspicion of the now unable to look out of this shell I know now that I died beside her those many years ago illusion ripped way, useless sheets this you see is my why how I know how to die ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: With thanks to the good folks at Hackers.Town for answering the very n00best of questions, with the following people politely [REDACTED]. May your time go in a manner you consent to. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: IRC [REDACTED] Poetry, Short Form, With Contact https://writing.exchange/@wetdryvac Poetry, Long Form, With Contact https://landofkittens.social/Wetdryvac Web https://www.wetdryvac.net KoFi https://ko-fi.com/wetdryvac Links https://linktr.ee/wetdryvac MATRIX [REDACTED] BBS [REDACTED] Primary mastodon residence, With Contact https://hackers.town/@Wetdryvac All the other coms access points [REDACTED] =============================================================================== :-==+++**********++==-: :=+**+==============+++++++***+=: :=+*+===================++++++++++*++*+=: :+*+=======================*++++++++*++====+*+: .=*+=========================++++++++++*+========+*=. .+*============================+++++++++*++===========*+. +*==============================+++++++++*+==============*+. =*===============================+++++++++*++==============++#= .*+================================+++++++++*+==============++++**. :#==================================++++++++*++=============+++++++#- -#==================================+++++++++*+=============+++++++++#= -#===================================++++++++*+++===========+++++++++++#- .#====================================++++++++**#@===========+++++++++++=#: #====================================++++++++*++#@==========+++++++++++===# ++====================================++++++++*+=%%=========+++++++++++====++ #=====================================+++++++*++=@%========+++++++++++======%. =*====================================++++++++*+==@%=======+++++++++++======+*= #=====================================++*%%%###*++@#======+*+++++++++======++=# %=====================================+++++++*#*#%@%#####*%#++++++++=====+++==# %====================================++++++++++==#@*+++++*##+++++++=====+*+===% %====================================+++++++*+===#@*====++++++++++=====++====*% #====================================++++++*++===%@+====++++++*++=====++===+*+# ++==================================*++++++**====@@+===++++++*++=====++===++++* :#=================================+%*+++++++====@@===++++++*+++====++===++++#: #=================================#%%%%%%%%###*#@@#+++++++*+#%====++===*++++# :#================================++++++++#*+*%@@@###%@%%%%%%%+=+++==+*++++#- ++===============================++++++*++++**#@%=+++#+*++==+=+++==++++++** *+==============================++++++++====+%@%++++#*++====+*===+++++++# #+=============================+++++*+===+==%@%++++#++====++===+++++++# *+===========================++++++++====+=@@#+++*++====++==+*++++++# +*==========================+++++*+=======@@#++*++====++==+++++++*+ -*+========================++++#*+======*@@*+*++====++==+++++++#- +*======================+++++#########%@@#*++===**+==*+++++*+ .+*====================+++++++=====+*%@@#######%*=+*++++**: .+*+=================++++*+======++@@@+====+++=+++++*+. -**===============++++++=====+++@@@====+*==*++**= .=+*+==========++++*+======+++@@@===++==***=. -=+*+======++++++=====+++*@@%==+**++- :-=++***++*+=====+++#%@@%+=-: =============================================================================== �2022 by Wetdryvac / VacHaus provisionals / VacHaus Press / TNtD Please contact Wetdryvac for reprint permission