💾 Archived View for kulu.pw › users › kulupu.keta › daily › 2022 › daily.post.gmi captured on 2023-06-14 at 14:28:04. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-01-29)
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12:15
first. feeling distant right now. easy to slip into disassociation
13:17
also feeling like extra on alert for others. need to refocus on muirselfs.
wei want to paint muir nails today. h would really like that.
16:59
noticed wei were disassociating pretty heavily. don't want to be here. trying to escape.
took a break and making some English breakfast tea
17:11
probably due to being overwhelmed with work and future prospects of having to interact with problem coworker
also feeling pretty tired now. post lunch and post coffee crash
17:52
frustrated with having to work. uncomfortable
18:09
spike of anxiety
18:13
kinda feeling the wheel now. a little dizzy
18:20
wow this really sucked the energy out. feeling kinda oof and tired and disassociate
18:56
feeling a bit more clarity. but now kinda more dizzy than before
19:04
feels weird, probably disassociating but can't really tell. things feel distant and time stretched
19:15
made it home. feeling the interface for reality and how I'm seperate from it
01:51
paintednails. validating muirselfs
02:18
I just need to dev the server on kulu
ooo I can just have a public ip, but still tunnel the port for the url. then put gem.kulu.pw on other machine. whew that's really simple actually
08:37
an emptiness. mi wile e telo seli.
09:25
goingng to work early I guess. coffee on da way.
09:42
today wei need to remember to notice the expectations and shame response from gender stuff
10:14
take delight in noticinf when I don't anxiety time
12:21
had some notices of shame. recognizing it and being secure in myself
12:24
OK no mail. in a box, I should actually learn how to actually have a. mail server
14:37
it's ok to take delight in muirselfs
14:49
listening to fka twigs again.
16:30
easy to slip into disassociation
17:11
she's spiraling again and i don't want to/ can't deal with it.
18:04
noticing im disassociated as a result
08:55
waking up and thinking
12:35
thinking a lot today about the reality of the universe and how I cna only perceive a simulacrum of it
14:55
have these thiuhts that I want to get out but can't figure out how to word them
need to just put something down even if it doesn't make sense. that's ok for me to do.
16:07
hedonism of a sorts
02:20
how am I dismantling white supremacy.
02:35
incredibly helpless. so much anxiety. would rather die
18:11
felt really disconnected today
even while walking through the park, felt like I wasn't even there
15:30
thinking and scratchin.
16:01
thinge take so much effort to do.
02:58
hmm finally have the gemini capsule up. it's late, I feel nothing. wonder if I should fix these posts