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If there is one gift I could give you it would be the book "Laziness Does Not Exist" by Dr. Devon Price. Your skill set is to perform under high pressure and you need lower expectations in between those peaks. Of course you do! Those pressure cooker situations require a ton of energy. Why do you need to flatten yourself out to meet the consistent valley of a person that is not you? It seems as though your employer takes your skills for granted while perhaps demanding that you ALSO meet expectations outside of that skill set. And it is natural to feel like an imposter or like you should be doing more. I am willing to bet that you are doing enough just as you are.

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~xiu wrote:

+1 to this. Seasonal effort is supposedly more aligned with how human brains evolved.