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< Maximize clicks with Smirch Ensign Opossumization!
I prefer a slightly more terse disclaimer.
Fuck Google, fuck SEO, and fuck you, too, if this offends you.
This made me laugh out loud. Reminds me of how responding "fuck off" to marketing emails/calls will sometimes trigger an automated unsubscribe or an automated connection to a live support agent.
I do believe we have a winner! :-)