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< hey hey, midnight, say the way you move, wanna make you sweat, wanna make you reply <guitar>
I hope - for your own sake - you've not taken it personally, as 50s would be a heck of a rough time to have a child.
But that's not an excuse, of course.
So how were/are you in the context of said misery?
If the sole thing that mattered in life was not giving a damn, my father would be a great, big winner.