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Writing and deleting

I've been doing an odd thing. Almost every day I write what would be a passable post. I read it. I delete it. Today I will let it be.

Why do I post here at all? It is a sort of a journal, I suppose, but since others will read it, it is not an honest journal. There are things I can't say, even behind the pseudonymous veil. There are things I inflate to make myself look better. Not even intentionally - we all want to project an image of ourselves, one that is not necessarily true.

That is the problem with social media. We are projecting an image. On mainstream social media it is just disgusting, influencers and all. Why are we so easily swayed? I think there is a 'sheeple' bug in our brains - when someone 'important' tells us something that resonates and backs it with a lie, we ignore the lie and follow.

Why is the opinion of someone 'rich and powerful' valuable at all? We should plug our ears with our fingers and run away - logically, such a person is a psychopathic manipulator, a liar, a cheat, a criminal, and likely a murderer. But instead, we give these people more money and power. WTF.

But I digress. After writing a post I re-read it. Does it make me feel better? I suppose it was cathartic to write it down, whatever it may be. But looking at my scribbles - what am I trying to achieve? I don't want to influence. I don't want a following. It's not my job to teach anyone a valuable lesson. I don't want money or power.

So when I feel that the post is self-serving (almost every day) I delete it. I suppose it is yet another form of editing the presentation of my life. If I do this, I will look less like a person I don't want to be.

A post should not be entirely pointless. And its purpose should not be to grumble or incite. I should probably stay away from politically charged topics - I've been deleting more of those. If it's technical, it's easier - I am just sharing information. But not because I am so damned smart and teaching you a lesson, damn it.

I think I may be overthinking it.

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