💾 Archived View for drunkpigeon.cities.yesterweb.org › Writings › Misc › 2023 › chaos-magic.gmi captured on 2023-04-26 at 13:12:27. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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I remember first getting into "weird spirit" stuff when I was about 11, starting to meditate a lot and listen to binaural beats, and watching videos made by some crazy guy with aMinecraft-ish avatar(I don't even want to type his name down, it's embarassing), but that came and went really fast. Come October of this year, I started browsing /x/ for the first time and came across the /omg/ — Occult, Mysticism, and Magick General. It scratched the itch that young me had, in a much better way than shitty Youtubers did. It had several beginner's reading recommendations based on what system you were interested in, and just the name "Chaos Magic" stood out to me in that list, so I started with that.
Obviously starting with the Liber Null, the hardest part of the whole process was breathing through your saliva in meditation when you're not allowed to swallow it. That eventually becomes a skill of its own, however, or you just stop salivating as much. If you're multilingual, at some point in the sound concentration your mind might start speaking your other language in order to escape the mental strain of repeating the phrase. I'm probably not done with object concentration, because I only managed 37 minutes, but I was forcefully interrupted so I could have gone longer.
Tried to invoke Yucahu(TaÃno god, felt proper to at least try), but didn't get a response. In all honesty, even if I did expect anything, it probably wouldn't have been anything positive, because I just ate before attempting the invocation and traditionally you're supposed to purge yourself by vomiting before consulting a cemi. If I ever do it again, I need an excuse to make myself vomit.
Did a few predictions on stuff that doesn't really matter, like the best path for improving my art, my future sex life, whether it was best for me to go to sleep immediately or stay up(I chose the former, but woke up anyway needing the bathroom and wasn't able to go back to sleep), but wracking my brain to interpret the cards calms me down whether or not I actually believe the prediction. It's like the same itch you scratch by writing vulgar english phrases in katakana.
Don't have much else to say about what I did, so I'm closing this entry here.