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Christmas: A social anxiety minefield

2013-12-19 09:45:39

As Christmas approaches, many people will be experiencing a mixture of

excitement and trepidation. But for many sufferers of social anxiety, this can

be the most traumatic time of the year, writes Olly Ricketts.

It is estimated that social anxiety disorder affects up to 10% of the UK's

population.

The first clinical guideline on the subject, published by the National

Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) in May, defines the disorder as

the "persistent fear of or anxiety about one or more social or performance

situations that is out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the

situation".

The festive period provides a unique combination of such situations. While a

degree of worry about finances, potential drunken mistakes and the awkwardness

of spending time with extended family is entirely rational, sufferers of social

anxiety can obsess about such issues until they prove debilitating.

Continue reading the main story

Why is Christmas stressful?

Increased pressure to spend time with others

An expectation this is a happy time of year - pressure to make the most out of

an event and for everyone to have a good time

Mixing with people you have not necessarily chosen to spend time with

Sense of loss - whether because of not having a social group, or being out of

work

Constant reminders of how we should be enjoying ourselves at Christmas on TV,

in advertisements and even in supermarkets

Source: Laura McMurray, Senior Psychological Therapist, iCope

When does mental health become a problem?

Physical symptoms include blushing, excessive sweating and shortness of breath,

but the most incapacitating effects are caused by sufferers' fixation on their

perceived social inadequacies. Potentially stressful events consume thoughts

for months beforehand, and the often imagined disaster is analysed at great

length afterwards.

A perceived threat can be triggered by anything from meeting new people to

being watched while eating.

Christmas poses particular issues. Most obvious are the myriad social

engagements and their often alcohol-fuelled nature, though there are other more

surprising worries to face. Heather, 38, begins to worry about Christmas as

early as September.

"I'd finished most of my own [Christmas] shopping in October because I started

early to avoid crowds," she explains.

Christmas crowds

Heather's anxiety increases as Christmas approaches. A particular worry is the

office party.

"Most years, I buy a ticket for the work do. I actually buy the ticket, knowing

full well I won't go. I buy [it] to make sure people don't think I'm

tight-fisted, or that I hate Christmas, or that I don't like their company."

Continue reading the main story

The other side of Christmas

Divorce numbers in January double those of any other month

Samaritans expect to receive one call every six seconds over Christmas and New

Year - they received 227,000 calls last Christmas

A recent Money Advice Service (MAS) survey found that more than a quarter of

Britons spend more than they can afford over Christmas

Research carried out by WRVS in 2012 for the Times discovered that 250,000

elderly people were alone and lonely on Christmas day 2012

What is depression?

Heather's constant fear that she will not live up to expectations even extends

to buying presents for colleagues.

"For Secret Santa, I've spent three times the agreed budget on a gift to make

sure it'll be accepted by the person. I feel sick at the thought of them

publicly rejecting what I buy and everyone knowing I was the one who bought the

inferior gift."

The triggers which cause social anxiety are so varied that it is difficult to

describe a "typical" sufferer, either in terms of symptoms or personality.

Although social anxiety can often develop early in life (NICE claims the

"median age of onset" is 13), and many recover before adulthood, it can emerge

at any age.

According to Dr Gillian Butler, consultant clinical psychologist and author of

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, it is also "one of the only anxiety

disorders to affect both men and women equally".

Even people that appear confident and extroverted can have the disorder. Social

anxiety recently made headlines when actress Jennifer Lawrence spoke candidly

about her battle with it.

Jennifer Lawrence

The unpredictable and varied ways anxiety manifests itself means that while

some, like Heather, will actively avoid events such as the office Christmas

party, others' anxiety is fixated on the fear that they would be talked about

if they did not go, and so they attend in spite of how uncomfortable they feel

in such situations.

There are even people like 20-year-old university student Alex, who has

experienced "paranoia, low self-esteem and lack of confidence" for 10 years,

yet genuinely looks forward to the festive season, speaking excitedly about the

"special atmosphere and general increase in the happiness of others" at this

time of year.

Alex's social anxiety decreases when he is around his family. However,

according to Butler, for some being around loved ones at Christmas can itself

provide a trigger for anxiety.

"People can suffer with social anxiety in the family unit. You may as an older

person feel a real fool talking to the children. It can bring back memories of

adolescence and embarrassing times in the past," she explains.

Continue reading the main story

Start Quote

People can suffer with social anxiety in the family unit

Gillian Butler

Butler advocates cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to treat social anxiety

disorder. CBT is based on the premise that symptoms are tackled, rather than

the underlying causes of anxiety, and that if a person's negative thoughts

regarding their perceived social inadequacy can be changed, in time their

behaviour will change and their anxiety will reduce.

Although there are other treatments available, such as drugs, CBT is the most

commonly prescribed method used to combat the disorder.

It is not without its critics, however. The therapy is typically prescribed in

11-week blocks, which some feel is too brief to make a lasting impact.

Chartered clinical psychologist Dr Oliver James believes that any benefits

related to CBT are temporary, and effective treatment should deal with the

causes as well as the symptoms of anxiety.

"It [CBT] encourages people to tell themselves a story about their anxiety and

makes no attempt at all to understand the causes," he claims.

Continue reading the main story

More from Ouch

On Ouch talk show 103, Charlotte Walker - a recent winner of a VMG Mind Media

Award for her blog on life with bipolar - joins autism campaigner Kevin Healy

to talk about why their impairments can make Christmas a difficult time of

year.

Ouch talk show 103: Bah humbug

As many sufferers find speaking to an authority figure such as a doctor

impossible, online treatments have become increasingly popular. As well as

online CBT courses, internet forums can provide solace.

Alex and Heather are both members of SAUK, an internet forum for the socially

anxious, which has amassed over 15,000 members (and regularly sees an influx of

members over the festive period) since it launched in 2000.

Louisa Hatton, an administrator on the site, believes that SAUK provides a much

needed sense of community.

"Because part of social anxiety is trying to avoid others seeing your fears, it

can be refreshing to interact with other people who understand those worries

and can empathise. It [SAUK] also empowers people to take a lead in their own

recovery by giving them access to information and the experiences of others."

Louisa is proof that social anxiety can be conquered, having transformed

herself from being "essentially housebound to almost social anxiety-free". Her

advice to those that are feeling distressed in the run-up to Christmas is

simple.

"Firstly, remember that although social anxiety is often isolating, you're

absolutely not alone.

"Secondly, be proactive. Even simply looking into what social anxiety is can be

a great first step towards taking control of your worries and fears."