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2011-12-02 09:22:35
What's required to be on modern TV
- Be as cheap as possible and thus totally suck
- Continue previous statement, but add shocking situations or violence
- Tell a story that induces anger about everything that's wrong with the world
- Have a panel of judges review the performance of yet another reality star
- Cook something you will never eat, or see, or see before you eat
- Watch fat people get skinny
What's banned from modern TV
- Good Science Fiction or Fantasy (you know what I mean)
- Truly deep and telling story lines that make you think about the wonderous
possbilities
- Show all the good things that are happening 100 feet outside your door 5,000
times more often than the bad
... I can't imagine why people don't have a TV.
You forgot:
- Always use a pessimistic point of view. Happiness doesn't drive audience.
- Use cheap emotions whenever possible. No emotions except sadness or joy are
allowed.
- Hire fake audience to represent your audience in your poor shows, and make
them laugh when you need (remember Pavlov ?).
- Give random (poor) people access to the american dream, by giving them shiny
objects.
- Explain with lots of details terrible crimes. Morbid fascination everywhere.
- Let people believe that possessing objects lead to happiness, and do that
every minute, to be sure that they won't forget (ads).
- Always paint the world in white and black (if possible black). Never use
another color, it's too disturbing.