💾 Archived View for elektito.com › penguins captured on 2023-04-26 at 13:04:38. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-04-19)
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At the time of this writing, the Geminispace seems to be entirely devoid of The Penguins of Madagascar, which is a real shame. So I decided to create a page and collect some of their quotes. I'm going to re-watch the series and note down some. I'll probably go through the list later again, and handpick some of the better ones.
For my purposes, the TV show is the ultimate canon. The original Madagascar movie is also quote worthy, but I'm not gonna cover that for now. The Penguins of Madagascar Movie on the other hand is an abomination and is to be entirely ignored.
S: Love?
K: It's a chemical reaction in the brain. Inducing bliss. Highly addictive.
S: No more love in the smoothies. We gotta stay sharp. Concrete jungle is an illusive mistress who may call us into action at any given moment.
S: Kowolski, reason with him.
K: Ah, reason...
S: I find reason tedious and boring. We use force.
J: Here Morris. Just to show you that _I_ am the bigger lemur, not in actual pounds of course but in the other kind of biggerness, eat the banana.
J: A little to the left.
M: My left or your left?
J: Mine of course. I am king. The lefts are all mine, silly Mort.
S: Private. Whip me up one of them love smoothies. I need to unwind.
S: Hey! Those snack provisions are for authorized personnel only.
J: Do not worry. It is only I, King Julien, who is borrowing your delicious food for my stomach.
S: Gentlemen, we need a vacation. Vacation from that lemur.
P: We can visit a zoo. They have pandas and hippos and lovely house of reptiles.
S: Private. You do know that we _live_ in a zoo.
P: But we can visit a _different_ zoo!
S: Kowolski, calculate the furthest trip possible from our present location.
K: Climate?
S: Unspecified.
K: Elevation?
S: Unimportant.
K: Lemur population?
S: Zero point zero percent.
K: I've come up with two locations that fit our vacation parameters...
D: Denmark.
S: I can't set foot in Denmark.
P: Why not Skipper?
S: Well, that's private, Private. Between me and the Danes.
K: Very well, that leaves _one_ location...
D: The moon.
S: Gentlemen. We are going to the moon!
P: But Skipper, earth has some of my favorite things. Like cookies, and oxygen.
S: And brown paper packages, tied up with string.
M: Wow, a shooting star. I wish for a bird that can't fly away...and, I also wish the shooting star doesn't hit me!
S: Welcome to the moon, boys. Lemur population zip, zero, nada! Beautiful!
K: Skipper, this alien is oddly cat-like in structure.
S: A moon cat, eh?
M: You better use my teleportation machine to hide.
K: Teleportation? That's pure science-fiction.
M: Which is exactly why I had to hide it as a microwave oven. It's top-secret.
K: Camouflage? Well played!
S: So we didn't go lunar?
K: It seems I forgot to carry the two.
K: These readings are off the charts!
S: Well, get bigger charts. Take it out of petty cash.
J: Obviously this is a new ghost, since the old ghost was just eliminated by me, your king.
M: Isn't that kind of extreme?
S: No, two sticks of dynamite would be extreme. This will just let the specter know we mean business.
S: Skipper's log. Through mysterious means I've escaped a watery doom.
M: It wasn't mysterious, it was me.
S: Marlene please, the skipper's log is no place for flights of fancy.
K: I've come up with some options. Anybody wanna here them?
R: What's the matter with the guy in the funny hat?
S: I wish I knew Roger, I wish I knew.
J: I must be dreaming...Quick, pinch me. Now bite me. Now slap my face and spank my right buttock!
M: Hey, so what's up with the commotion?
S: Unknown. I'm gonna have to await my away team to report before declaring DEFCON red.
J: Fine. I was maybe, indirectly responsible, in a way that's not my fault, for the recalling of the annoying Mort dolls.
S: Kowolski, report.
K: It's dark.
S: I concur.
S: What kind of sick and twisted toy factory is this?
S: Alright, so why are we here?
K: Ah, the question that has vexed common man and philosopher alike...that's not what you're going for, is it?
S: You can't just reschedule scheduled maintenance that's been scheduled. Right on the schedule.
J: I shall call him Julien Junior, J.J. I will raise him to be just like me: handsome, brilliant, and most of all humble.
S: The only way you're getting this one is if you pry it from my cold, dead flippers.
J: Ugh, sounds gross...but doable!
S: Team up, with you?
J: I was thinking more like you do all of the work, and I will watch with anticipation.
J: What more can I, a devilishly handsome lemur king, do?
J: Oh, who is more elite than me? I shall play this flag capturing game. And when I say play, of course I mean win.
J: Are you a penguin, or a chicken? This calls for harsh mocking.
K: If by some statistically remote chance you do win, the rewards are respect and glory.
P: And a little swagger in your step.
J: These prizes are cheap. As your king I already own glory and respect, don't I? But not a TV!
S: Buck up man. We may have lost the battle...
P: And the telly!
S: But not the war.
J: When I win, this hi-fi will be my-fi!
S: Actions speak louder than words.
J: [Speaking into the megaphone] AND THIS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN ACTIONS!
[TV]: Did you pay too much for auto insurance?
J: It is very possible.
S: Lemur! One last game. All or nothing!
J: But I have the all, and you have the nothing. so...how does that work?
J: The flightless birds! they...they...
M: They're flying!
S: Well, that's five minutes of our lives we're not getting back.
K: Until I get my time machine fully functioning.
M: Wait, do you mean that Mort is exiled for eternity?
J: Forever or for eternity. I'm flexible.
M: You are a role model. You are a natural leader.
S: Well, guilty as charged.
J: What is a computer?
M: I like computers.
J: So you know?
M: No, but I don't have to know to like!
M: If you change your mind, you know where to find me.
J: Okay. But I don't change my mind. I have people for that.
S: Just as I feared. You've been brainwashed.
P: I've been brainwashed?
S: Yes, you've been brainwashed.
P: Brainwashed...
S: You don't want your brain washed.
P: I don't want my brain washed.
S: Hey, I'm as fun as the next guy!
M: Not if the next guy is that guy!
P: You're forgetting the Penguin credo. Never swim alone.
J: My head is naked, my head is nude, my head is crownless, dark is my mood!
S: Well, incredible size and brute strength...and magnificent aim...aren't everything.
M: Okay, okay. I failed. Everybody, I failed. There. I'm an "otter" failure.
J: I too am gasping in horror, but on the inside.
S: You gotta focus, Marlene. You just named four of the eight continents.
M: Er, there are only seven continents.
S: I count Atlantis. Trust me lemur, if you had my security clearance, you would too.
K: Which one do I save? Think Kowolski, think!
S: No, don't think man! Act!
K: Private's part of the team. Then again, Marlene has vital information. Of course, Private does owe me five dollars!