💾 Archived View for tigercarnival.cities.yesterweb.org › logs › 06202022.gmi captured on 2023-04-19 at 22:29:26. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2022-07-16)
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6/20/2022
mood: disappointed in myself
time: 3:21pm
so, the post i made about finally learning how to use titan on mobile was accidentally deleted by me getting confused while using titan and editing the entry by accident. now that i know what to do finally-i think-it doesn't really matter, but i thought i'd mention it. i got so crushed when i realized i accidentally deleted it a couple days ago and it made me put off making another entry for a second! just that feeling of exhaustion washing over me. i'm dramatic!
i've been working on this little art piece that i might make into a simple drag and drop dressup game. it's mainly for myself, since it's me-i want to be able to put together various outfits using all the clothes i already own. just diving into my wardrobe to put together and outfit can be stressful for me, so i thought it'd be fun to do like i've seen artists i follow do, and draw all my clothes out with a paper doll type setup for myself. i think maybe if i can also make it a dressup game on my website, it'd be kind of telling who i am as a person based on my clothes & i think that's fun!
side note, lately whenever i just doodle myself or a person i've been drawing them with a 😬 face. i think this is just how i've been feeling lately coming out in my art, lol.
this past weekend i was really irresponsible and drank too much, to the point of missing my first appointment with my new case manager today. i dropped my last one because she was *not* helpful and also apparently lying to my org, reporting me as having appointments on days where she never called. maybe that is better than the alternative (getting scary letters saying i'm missing my appointments and will be dropped as a client), but i still don't appreciate lying on my behalf either... anyway, i'm making myself look bad by having a brand new case manager who seems really helpful and on the mark while i spent this monday recovering from the weekend, missing my psychiatry appointment and having to reschedule case management for tomorrow. urgh... (´ж｀;) i kinda suck right now. i can't forget that i'm doing *better*, but i'm still yet not doing *enough*. i need to discipline myself more, and be more responsible overall.
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ejm97 (/|\)
spending a lot of my mornings the same way i used to, two or three years ago. i wake up and spend some time alone in the quiet, playing flight rising and smoking some weed. flight rising is another browser pet game, but the forums are fun and relaxing to scroll through. there's a lot of gardeners on FR, too. i'm not a green thumb, but i'd like to try again to be one of these days. i killed succulents. (´ω｀)
today i'm really sniffly so i'm spending the morning blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. it feels like allergies.
i just felt restless a lot of today. felt like i'm not doing enough, and yet also couldn't will myself to draw. ideas are floating around my head, cute illustrations of my ocs being sexy and pin-up-y. i saw some art today that got me a little inspired and somehow that just translated to me just putzing around and not feeling good enough. are all artists like this? lol.... so i tried to get into a creative mindset by looking around second life for a while, then hopped onto toontown rewritten... i was searching aimlessly for something that could be 'live' and go on in the background while i forced myself to draw. i even looked on twitch for a while. i ended up just making crunchwraps with my partner, watching bobs burger & the office, and working on the commerce daily event quests on mabinogi. hopefully tomorrow i can get some cleaning done and make some space mentally and physically for myself to get drawing. i'll listen to music blasting out loud or something. wahhh, just draw! QQ