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< Oh, how about just a grazing glance 'o the good 'ole Thelema?
'Thelema' in the your title caught my attention. A.O. Spare, Phil Hine, other names, echoes from related studies in a previous personal era. A practice that actually works can barely have an adequate linguistic expression.
Words upon words, about other words.
Even something as simple to describe as a regular meditation practice, the description won't tell you the texture and edges of really getting into the thing.
Conceptual futility indeed. Somehow, we can still find the way however dimly illuminated.
I relate to this. Used to study a lot of chaos related stuff when younger. Now I just try to breathe well, and that soothes me.