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07/10/2022 - difficulty doing nothing

Mood: Restless.

Lately, I've found it important for me to just sit down and do nothing. I don't want to really disclose much of what I do, but I will say that I work from home and essentially hold the housewife title over here since everyone else has an in-person job. So most of the time, if I'm not just watching TV or playing games, I'm either finding something to clean/tinker with or just spend unpaid overtime on my work. Fucked up to say, but I like being busy and working. Some would say this is great, I believe it to be a character flaw. I don't know how to sit down and relax at all because I'm such a *sigh* workaholic.

The only thing I've really been doing lately is going for walks, but I have a hard time mustering up the will to go out because I keep thinking I should be keeping busy instead. Sometimes I'll try and kick back on the couch with nothing on but my thoughts, but I dunno.. just can't do it. I'm not even that much of an anxious person, but I always feel like I'm just wasting my time so I get very fidgety. I have no cure for this, currently.

One thing I do remember is that bars are a very soothing place for me. Bar & grills are my favorite, although I only really ever go out with friends and they don't like to just sit and drink. It's kind of ironic, since I've been the stay-home nerd all my life and they were the jocks on the football team back in high school. But I digress. Bars are nice - order a nice beverage, sit back, and watch the game. I'm not even a game-watching type, but something about the atmosphere just makes it nice. I've never watched NASCAR in my life, but I was enraptured by it the first time I went to a bar.

Lately I've just been floating around cafes but they're no fun. It's just a bunch of quiet anxious students on their computers, even more plain-looking guys just checking emails, and these phony businessmen having meetings about this that and the other. I may be a quiet guy, but that kind of atmosphere is almost more depressing than just staying at home. We don't have a lot of bars in town, and they all seem kind of boring (in my old town we had this one place with cool neon lighting and the occasional local band playing), but I'm being too judgy since I've never even gone in before. I'll do some exploring, yeah.

Also, I don't think I mentioned it, but I enjoyed Forbidden Door a lot. I think AEW and NJPW did a great job with this one, especially with all the sudden injuries that came up. I care very little about Orange Cassidy and even less about Will Ospreay but their match was so much fun. It felt like a mirror match, those niggas look the same I'm tellin' you. I also was not expecting Clark Connors to replace Ishii - interesting, that. My only complaint was how many AEW wrestlers ended up winning championships over NJPW ones. If you don't think Tanahashi deserved that championship over Moxley, you're trippin'.

I'm looking forward to what else they plan on doing together. We still saw some NJPW wrestlers on Dynamite after the PPV, and I've been enjoying Konosuke's time on AEW as well (I know he's from DDT, but still). I'm waiting patiently and intently for the Golden Lovers reunion, because I'm getting awfully tired of heel Kenny.

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