💾 Archived View for kulu.pw › users › kulupu.keta › daily › 2023 › feb › 28.gmi captured on 2023-03-20 at 18:09:00. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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feeling overwhelmed for a day or something.
switched into Jae like 2 or 3 days ago
building emotions
feel like I can't get them out
take a bath to try and relax
relax and no distractions
emotions under are bubbling to the top
dissociation
emptiness
a void
wake up in a cold bath
emotionless
distant from my surroundings
focus again and shift it back to my body and environment
dissociation again
scratching at the ice sheet above
trying to break through to avoid drowning
close my eyes
accept the burning in my lungs
and sink to the bottom
no more energy to fight
no more energy to resist
no more energy to move
flashbacks of the past
of the box --
literal and figurative
unable to choose
unable to save myself
I'll step back into the darkness
and back into the emptiness
I'll make this my home --
what other choice do I have?