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2010-02-19 12:41:54
By James Melik
Business reporter, BBC World Service
People can use relationships at work to kick-start their career, but
relationships can also turn out to be repressive and hinder careers from
flourishing.
Research shows that a large proportion of workers have had amorous relations
with colleagues, but what if they are rivals or the boss is involved?
There is always the danger of exploitation, according to Peter Handel at
Carnegie Training. He says the real problem is when one person has power over
another.
Mr Handel trains personnel departments in 75 countries on how to deal with such
a sensitive and difficult subject.
"There are two real issues," he says. "How can one be sure that the
relationship is consensual, without any subtle or direct coercion, and is there
a conflict of interest."
Company policies
Different companies have different rules about their staff entering into
liaisons with co-workers.
Some companies impose a complete ban, an approach that Mr Handel believes is
counter-productive.
He agrees, however, that relationships can cause problems that interfere with
the smooth running of an organisation.
Don't do anything you don't want on the front of the Daily News the next day
Peter Handel, Carnegie Training
"If a co-worker is sleeping with the boss, how do you know if that person is
not getting better pay rises and better assignments?"
Many companies will move one of the participants elsewhere, but that can create
further problems of a different kind.
"If you move a junior partner, it may not be very fair, but if you move a
senior partner, you may lose a good leader," he says.
Besides, moving their staff elsewhere may not be an option for smaller
companies.
And simply getting rid of them is not easy either.
There are legal aspects to consider when redeploying or sacking staff,
especially in the United States.
"If you fire someone, you are open to accusations of sexual harassment," Mr
Handel says.
Many law firms specialise in such cases, so he warns employers: "Don't do
anything you don't want on the front of the Daily News the next day."
Aphrodisiac of power
The conventional wisdom is that relationships with colleagues are to be
deplored - and if it is with the boss, then you should run a mile or get the
lawyers in.
Men go for youth and beauty. Women are attracted by the aphrodisiac of power,
the earning ability and someone able to look after the children
Rod Liddle, Spectator magazine
Research compiled by Andrew Kakabadse, professor of international management
development at Cranfield University in England, shows that 60% of all workers
have had a powerful intimate relationship with a co-worker.
Describing what he means by intimate, he says it is more than a friendship and
"one step before something becoming physical".
"A large number of relationships change into a sexual relationship," he says,
"regardless of the person's religion or country of origin."
He realises that it might be hard to believe that six out of 10 colleagues are
involved in an intimate relationship, and that the reaction of the other four
out of 10 is: "I don't believe you."
He says people start to believe the figures when they ask themselves: "Why is
the boss making these decisions about these guys?"
"In the workplace, you usually find women having affairs with more senior men,"
says Rod Liddle of the Spectator magazine.
WHAT IF CUPID STRIKES?
with co-workers
About.Com
"Men go for youth and beauty. Women are attracted by the aphrodisiac of power,
the earning ability and someone able to look after the children," he says.
There are many factual and fictional examples of the abuse of power - from the
casting couches of Hollywood to favouritism because of pillow talk.
"We cannot police such activities," says Mr Liddle.
Unwilling compliance
The National Organisation for Women in the US reports that between 50% and 75%
of employed women have experienced some form of sexual harassment at work.
The line between flirtation and harassment is very fine, however.
According to the American Management Association, half of romances at work lead
to a lasting relationship or marriage.
In some cultures, the workplace is the most natural place for people to meet
their future partners.
"In Kenya, many ministers have at least two wives," says columnist Wycliffe
Muga, "and many of the younger ones are women the men have met at work."
But more recently, in a subtle cultural shift, many Kenyan men are now finding
their first wife at work.
In 2006 the Kenyan government brought in the Sexual Offences Act, which, among
other things, aimed to eradicate sexual harassment in the workplace.
This has actually made things more difficult for women workers.
"It is harder for women to find jobs, because companies are afraid that every
jilted woman would bring claims of sexual harassment," says Mr Muga.