💾 Archived View for evilswampmonster.flounder.online › february2023.gmi captured on 2023-03-20 at 17:28:02. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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earlier today, my mother and i cleared old leaves and dead plants out of the bushes and emerging perennials in our front yard. it's always frustrating to me how many little bits of dead leaves and general imprecisions there are that get left behind in yard work, even though they eventually, invisibly, melt back into the soil. i feel like yard work is a lot like working on your own mental health in that way-- it's never quite as satisfying as you want it to be, it's seasonal, and there's sooooo much time involved. im trying to remind myself of that-- to be patient with myself.
i hope my therapist stops having the flu soon.
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(oo)
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i just got lunch with a classmate and it was lovely. i didn't realize there was as big of an age gap as there was-- she's 35 and i'm 21. we talked a little bit about how she's adjusting to online classes and discussion boards, since those didn't exist when she was in college. it's fun and strange to talk to someone who is your peer while also having the knowledge that they were in college when you were in elementary school. i think we have a lot in common, though, and talking to her was really fun.
i ended up getting the flatbread at the restaurant we were at-- i confused flatbreads and open-faced sandwiches in my head, i think, and i ended up getting basically a whole ass pizza. i have leftovers for the next 3 days.
it's also my birthday in a week and a half ish, and honestly i'm dreading it a little. i don't have a solid group of friends to invite to something yet because none of my friends really know each other.
with that said, i'm in a place of making new friends, and i feel very lucky that i've really clicked with everyone i've reached out to. i'm excited to see where these new friendships will go, no matter what happens during pisces season. <3
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(oo)
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i was looking at some ascii art to make my homepage (i think it's called a homepage, at least) look more interesting and i stumbled upon this:
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(oo)
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bug
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(o-)
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bug winking
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(@@)
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bug w/hangover
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(xx)
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dead bug
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(--)
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sleeping bug
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( )
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blind bug
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(OO)
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bug after seeing a female bug
(i hope that formats right)
something about it is very charming to me. this site and the ascii art and talking on the phone with my sister all together make me feel nostalgic. staying in the same room i grew up in and substitute teaching at the schools i went to when i had braces and a bowl cut don't exactly hurt the effect.
i went to the dmv yesterday and there was a man standing closer to me than i felt comfortable with and he was asking a lot of questions. i didn't know how to tell him to leave me alone. afterwards i felt:
- guilty for not standing up for myself
- guilty for not being friendlier
- guilty for feeling guilty about not being friendlier because it doesn't feel particularly feminist of me
- guilty for feeling guilty about not feeling feminist enough because i was the one who was uncomfortable!
i guess that's something to unpack in therapy, but my therapist has the flu rn so flounder gets to see it instead.
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(oo)
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