💾 Archived View for s.tymo.name › log › 2020-12-23.gmi captured on 2023-03-20 at 17:39:09. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Expanding my habitat

I recorded myself drinking tea today, and also my conversation with A. when she came back from a movie. Here are some findings and observations that came from doing this.

I don't even know how I'm looking and sounding from outside

For a large and most recent part of my life my self lived mostly inside my head and rarely reached out into my body and almost never into outer world like closest relatives zone and (once or twice) in coworkers socialization zone.

When I reviewed recorded videos, I didn't recognize the person that is definitely me on a screen. He's total stranger, I don't envision myself _like that_. It's a breathtaking and at the same time disturbing discovery.

My body condition is already on a brink of failure

My posture is definitely unhealthy, and there's a lot of pain in different areas of my back, in abs and shoulders when I'm trying to sit straight. I can sit this way not more than dozen of seconds also because breathing pattern in this posture is very unfamiliar, and my muscles definitely not used to it.

I've forgotten how to express my thoughts with words

On a day job I transform ideas into code, and I'm doing this for 15 years already, with several breaks up to year long. Writing tech documentation is the most expressive form of communication I'm used to. Most of the time work-related comunication is also text-based due to remote nature of modern IT and lockdown ofcourse.

So verbal communication was limited, especially in English, as my previous job was Russian-speaking, and at home we're speaking Ukrainian. I tried to record some thoughts on tea, reasonably assuming that's the topic I'm really into, but struggled to talk continuously for more than 3 minutes.

----

After reflecting a bit on all this stuff during evening dog walk, I think that familiarizing with my self from the ground up is _the purpose_ worth the effort and satisfactory enough to not drop when hitting inevitable obstacles.

So what the first goal?

As I see it at the moment of writing this, the goal is to expand the habitat of my self from just my head to the boundaries of the body, and get to know it.

I decided to add a few habits to the list of those I'm trying to stick to. I'm already trying to:

sleep not less than 8 hours,
eat not more than enough,
meditate at least once per day.

And there's new additions:

do posture correction routine once per day,
capture my thoughts in written form if there's device handy for that,
record thoughts in verbal form on a walk,
sort out and write down those captures once per day,
record myself drinking tea and express thoughts on it at least once per week.

Let's see how it goes.

back to gemlog

back to stymo's capsule