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Title: Men Cannot Be Feminists
Author: Quiya
Date: January 2022
Language: en
Topics: anarcha-feminism, feminism, South Korea, Korea
Source: Retrieved on 2022-02-01 from http://kr.theanarchistlibrary.org/library/kiya-namjaneun-peminiseuteuga-doel-su-eobsda
Notes: Translated by Min with input from the author.

Quiya

Men Cannot Be Feminists

I am neither smart enough to raise radical theories on the following

issues, nor in a position to offer new perspectives. I will not be able

to convince someone who is not interested in feminism, and someone

knowledgeable on the topic will most likely find the topic of this text

frankly redundant. I shall nevertheless explain my view on the matter

for if the reader is a cis-gender male who, enthusiastic on the feminist

movement, claims the name of feminist for himself.

Should one analyze my thoughts on sex and gender, they would find

numerous elements of feminism, yet I do not call myself a feminist. Men

cannot be feminists.

Some immature people might equate feminism to female chauvinism. But

whatever they may say, feminism is a movement that seeks to break down

the oppressive structure between sexes and genders and create an

egalitarian society. More specifically, the goal of feminism is to end

sexism and patriarchy. It is “feminism” precisely because it opposes the

male-led system. Patriarchy is a hierarchical structure that justifies

men’s social authority and governance. In other words, it is a system

that subjugates all who are not men, especially women. Women are placed

at the bottom of said structure simply because they are women. In the

same way, men are placed above all other sexes and genders simply

because they are men. In this way, men and women are placed in

opposition to each other, privilege given for one and oppression to the

other. Patriarchy is established only when there is a male who will rule

over the other sexes. Because of this, the very existence of a man, who

is raised in a sexist environment, internalizes this injustice, and

enjoys the benefits of a patriarchal system that causes the suffering of

the rest, becomes oppressive for women and all other sexes and

genders.[1])

Some men may not feel that they enjoy such privilege. Some may even be

at a disadvantage compared to women. It is even true that not all women

are placed beneath all men. However, this is does not prove the absence

of gendered inequality, but the existence of something called

“intersectionality”.

Society is made up of complex interactions. There are numerous ways that

a person can form relationships with others, and there are just as many

oppressive relationships that arise from these. Between a bisexual,

cis-gender, disabled, working man with a right to vote, and a

heterosexual, transgender, able-bodied, immigrant, bourgeois woman, who

would be in an objectively better social position? The overlapping of

these numerous socio-political factors that benefit or harm individuals

is Intersectionality. Those who oppress others in one way can be the

oppressed themselves in many other ways. Indeed, sexism and patriarchy

are not only harmful to women. Men can also be victims of this system.

Men who do not meet the criteria of masculinity are, at the end of the

day, socially ostracized. However, although a man who satisfies the

masculinity demanded by society can become a ruler, a “perfect” woman

who satisfies the social criteria of femininity would ultimately be

nothing more than a woman dominated by a man. In the eyes of a

patriarchal society, the “best woman” is nothing more than an easily

controllable object. Even if man and woman are harmed by the same gun,

one gets a dislocated shoulder due to recoil, while the other has their

flesh pierced by the fired bullet.

The fact that those who enjoy the privileges of patriarchy are unaware

of this reality shows that the oppressive system is working as intended.

The privileged tend to think that the inequality is natural since it is

not harmful to them. As men, we may know the pressures and injustices of

being a man, but we cannot understand the struggle of being a woman. To

be in a society where inevitable menstruation has to be a legally

guaranteed right. To always be left behind in family matters for simply

being a woman. That one’s failure is considered natural and even

successful results are to be considered an extraordinary exception. To

bear with the overwhelmingly high probability of being a victim of

sexual violence and to be stigmatized for being a victim. To endure the

mental and physical stress of raising children, considered the final

duty of womanhood and not a conscious choice. To live in a society that

symbolically mutilates and commodifies the female body.

To not have to live through any of this is to live as a privileged man

in a sexist, patriarchal society. Even if they refuse these special

treatments, the structures of the sexist society would still bring women

under the soles of these men. If patriarchy was worried about people’s

consent, it wouldn’t have been oppressive in the first place.

Privilege is established only by separating those who receive it from

those who do not. Therefore, being a man in and of itself is to be an

oppressor. I can empathize with women’s pain and stand in solidarity

with them, but precisely because I am a man, I can never experience it

and truly understand it.

This is why I do not call myself a feminist. Society recognizes me as a

man, so I am given more opportunities accordingly. I can get people to

listen to me even without the platform of feminism. I do not want to

intrude in the few safe spaces free of male oppression that feminism has

created. It is the voice of feminists that the world needs to hear, not

the voice of another man like myself. My role as a man in the feminist

movement is to listen to their voices, to actively stop the oppression

of myself and the men around me, and to challenge patriarchy as a man.

Gender equality will benefit all of us, but it is up to those who are

not men — not men themselves — to fight gender discrimination and

patriarchy. As men, we shall merely act as their allies, giving way to

them and stand in solidarity when they need help, not as feminists who

take the lead in this struggle.

While we recognize the privileges we enjoy, empathize with the suffering

of all other sexes, and stand in solidarity with the struggles of

feminists, we have no intention of replacing their voices and

initiatives. To not call oneself a feminist is to understand this

reality:

Men cannot be feminists.

[1] For those who take this as an attack on their gender identity or

feel guilty and helpless about their masculinity, the following should

be emphasized: This problem is not about the “bad guys” or the “good

guys”. This is not an issue of individuals, but a structural problem

that encompasses all of us, where a complex system puts one gender on

top of the other. This is not to say that all men are necessarily

“evil”, but rather that they are placed on top of an oppressive, sexist

structure regardless of their will. For an anarchist, it should not be

difficult to understand that such structural problems can exist.