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Title: A Comedian For President?
Author: Jim Kovpak
Date: 28 March 2019
Language: en
Topics: Ukraine, populism, elections
Source: Retrieved on 20th February 2022 from https://www.nihilist.li/2019/03/28/a-comedian-for-president/

Jim Kovpak

A Comedian For President?

Realistically speaking, I do not have too much concern as to who

Ukraine’s next president will be so long as it isn’t Yulia Tymoshenko (I

don’t know enough about Yuriy Tymoshenko to have an opinion). There are,

in my opinion, some rational arguments for Poroshenko’s reelection.

Continuity and stability may not be the best arguments in his favor, but

they are logical and fully understandable. He also does seem to spend a

lot of time visiting the front, which is admirable. However, beyond this

I see no strong, rational arguments in favor of Poroshenko. Perhaps that

is why so many of his most vocal supporters seem to have some financial

stake in his reelection.

At the time I am writing this, it seems Volodymyr Zelensky has a strong

lead in the race. It appears many lobbyists among the Ukrainian diaspora

and «pro-Ukrainian» community in the West are very upset about this. We

in the English-speaking world are routinely bombarded with rants about

how he is a just comedian, as though that is some kind of disqualifying

attribute in this day and age. I wonder if this shock and outrage is

genuine, however, because if it is, it seems those individuals haven’t

been paying attention to the news outside of Ukraine since 2016.

Over here in America, having a comedian for a president sounds like an

improvement. What we got instead was a reality TV star who is apparently

suffering from some sort of cognitive disorder (I’m betting on late

stage syphilis), which becomes apparent if one listens to him speak on

any issue for thirty seconds. But whether the president is a billionaire

oligarch «chocolate king,» a comedian, or in America’s case a man who

cannot put coherent thoughts together, all these people can serve a

useful purpose. They teach us about the absurdity of the liberal

bourgeois state.

This is the one major positive thing about President Trump. Back in the

1990’s, one could imagine a cheap family comedy film with a title like

Baby President. It’s an extreme version of what Hollywood calls a

«fish-out-of-water» story. The comedy derives from the idea of

buttoned-down professional politicians and military officers who

suddenly need to answer to a Commander-in-Chief who is a literal infant.

Typically this kind of lazy comedy is satirized as an example of

Hollywood’s lack of ideas. And yet thanks to Donald Trump, we now

understand that while the President cannot actually be an infant, this

is only due to the age restriction. In reality, we now have a man with

the mind of a child in that office, and all his aides, advisers, and

generals must scramble around trying to understand and carry out his

orders. The formulaic Hollywood premise of «What if the President of the

United States were an infant/a ninja/a dog?» has become reality.

Compared to a syphilitic idiot like Trump, the idea of Ukraine having a

comedian for a president seems almost utopian.

But of course the truth is that it is pointless to speak of this or that

president saving Ukraine; presidents, as representatives of the corrupt

system, are in fact one of the causes of our present problems, in

Ukraine, in the United States, and pretty much everywhere they have

them. Sure, the so called “peace-loving” crowd thinks they will end

their problems by voting for a candidate willing to negotiate with

Russia. In reality, such a president won’t accomplish anything because

Putin cannot be negotiated with. He demands subservience from Ukraine or

partition, nothing less. The liberal centrists will find that their hero

Poroshenko will simply maintain the status quo and not regain an inch of

Ukrainian soil that isn’t in the so-called gray zone. And the far-right,

which no doubt imagines that Ukraine could achieve victory if only it

were ruled by «true patriots» would be every bit as disappointed; they

would merely give even more power and authority to their leaders,

enabling them to create an even more corrupt system without any dissent

and turning Ukraine into a weaker version of Russia.

Ultimately salvation will not come from a president or any politician or

party. The principle problem be it in Ukraine, Russia, or the US, is a

question of authority without accountability, democratic or otherwise.

In the United States, a seemingly democratic system veils a totally

unaccountable government that shields decision makers, many of whom are

unelected, behind several layers of bureaucracy, such that one can never

know who is truly responsible for a certain rule or action. In Russia,

the consolidated power of the state allows the small ruling class to

steal with impunity while increasingly cracking down on dissent. In

Ukraine, the state is used as a cash machine as well as a cover for all

manner of criminal enterprises, giving people with connections the

ability to call on the state’s inherent monopoly on force to achieve

their goals.

What is the solution then? There are no easy answers, but there is one

word that provides a good starting point- accountability. Authority

without accountability is a highway to tyranny and corruption. And from

where should this accountability come from? From a population that has

been educated and trained for self-government, one which directly

decides policy at the local level but can also exercise full control

over its delegates to higher structures. At the same time, as society’s

defense is entrusted more and more to the wider population rather than

being concentrated in the hands of traditional state organs of legal

violence such as the police force and military, it becomes even more

difficult to abuse elected positions of authority, all of which ought to

be subject to recall at any given time, naturally. Ultimately the

republican form of democracy by unaccountable proxy must be replaced

with government of the people under rule of law that safeguards

everyone’s rights.